N.S.
I wish I could be the supportive listening ear you probably are looking for but I'll tell it to you as it is - I have been in your shoes and still remain in your shoes, dealing with a heck of a lot more than you describe dealing with. My husband has BP and he has lost his job on average each yr. since we're married. Marriage is NOT disposable NOR are spouses. You committed to him in sickness and in health, in wealth and in poverty. If you didn't mean it, fine. Be honest with yourself. If you did mean it, then you've got a lot of work to do before giving up on your marriage. I say this to you harshly only because they say you cannot judge a person until you're in their shoes. I am in your shoes and I'll tell you life is not supposed to be easy, its meant to be rewarding and meaningful. Just because this time in your life stinks and you feel like giving up on him and the relationship does not mean that you're doing what's right. Often we take the easy road out because we are not willing to be honest with ourselves and we are not willing to do the work required to succeed in the hardest times. Please don't cheat yourself, your husband, your marriage, your life and most of all, your children. I could go on and on about how being in the same situation with many many complications has been the better of the two choices. You will have to live with yours. Just make the one that you will NEVER regret...and please please for the sake of everyone involved, get a lot of help and therapy before throwing away a potentially good thing. If you are interested in making this work I would be happy to give you more personal details but you have to make up your mind that that is truly what you want. Do not let this get in the way of your family. Good luck and may G-d give you strength through all of this. G-d bless you.