Nursing to Sleep:

Hi M.,

Completely safe to nurse them to sleep, no need to brush their teeth first. Your breastmilk will not pool in your son's mouth like milk from a bottle.

I will share my experiences with you- I have two children, 3.5 & 13 mos. I nursed my oldest to sleep his first 18 months, then gradually transitioned him to sleep on his own- by 2 years he would lay in his bed, stay there, and fall asleep on his own after we had a story and said prayers. I "gradually transitioned" by going to his room when he woke up wishing to nurse, and rocking him for a bit, then setting him back in bed. If he got upset, I'd do it again, and so on and so forth- sometimes laying him down on his tummy (not as an infant of course) and holding his shoulders firmly with one hand and patting him with the other hand gently helped too.

My second son is a nurse-a-holic, but even he will go to bed without nursing if it is his bedtime and he nursed recently and doesn't need more in the tank at the moment. I've also taught him that when mommy is done letting him nurse, mommy is done- so if I am tired of being in the same position or just tired of having my boob sucked on- we cuddle or rock and he falls asleep.

I read the Ezzo's book 'Baby Wise' and I can understand why people may think your baby will never learn to fall asleep on their own if you nurse them/rock them etc. But, my first DID, and he is a strong willed child, not an "easy baby". So, I tend to be drawn to the camp that says if you give them what they need (and of course, only if you are willing and not doing it for reasons that leave you feeling bitter or sleep deprived), when they're ready they'll be happy to do it for themselves.

Sounds like you're a very conscientious mom and I'd recommend the book "Heaven on Earth" for a great read on harmonious parenting of little ones! It talks a lot about "rhythms" that will help your baby be ready for what comes next and be conditioned to not only accept, but look forward to each part of the day, whether it's napping or going to bed for the night. Also, "The Quotidian Mysteries: Laundry, Liturgy, & Women's Work" is a short but philosophical and enriching book that really helped me get so much spiritual meaning out of the dishes and laundry which "are consuming your waking life" =) I also add that, as you said, "Many right things CONFLICT"- how true! One of the wonderful things about mothering is that if we let it, it will bring out intuition to guide us in caring for our children in a way that affirms US and affirms THEM- even if it wouldn't work for someone else. So, maybe nursing children to sleep isn't right for others, but might be right for you.

hi mama, do what works for you and dont tell others unless they ask. it seems when you do something that leans toward attachment parenting, those who disagree are outspoken. now i have no problem with others opinions, but what i have noticed is those who may believe in attachment parenting philosophies such as not letting a baby cry, do alot of research before deciding such issues. on the other hand, i have noticed those who criticize it seem to not do any research on the other perspective(ex. people who i know who believe in crying it out or are against cosleeping have never, ever researched anything related to either pros or cons, yet feel worthy enough to tell me how its so wrong, yet they have absolutely nothing to back anything up). so my point is, those who jeer are those who have never looked into these subjects.
for your question, bottle rot occurs not because the baby didnt brush its teeth, rather because of the baby having the liquid pool in its mouth from the bottle dripping. now if your baby during the night had the nipple dripping, that being said, if you were cosleeping and your baby was sleeping with your nipple literally in his mouth all night dripping, that would be similar, but its very very rare, and contributing factors such as hereditary and income play a huge roll. if you want to take a wet piece of gauze over his teeth before you lay him down, thats all you would need to do. you dont need to brush them.
on the same note, dont worry about doing everything right, just do whats right for you. good luck, remember they grow so fast and are little for such a short time.

Remember the adage - never wake a sleeping baby! Breastmilk has antibacterials. Dentists are now saying that bacteria causes tooth decay. Given that, formula has no antibacterials, breastmilk does. Taking a bottle of formula to sleep is very different than nursing to sleep. My 4 kids nursed to sleep with with no adverse effects.

I have learned that there are "many ways to skin a cat" from a parenting prespective. Many parents are extremely vigilant about their decision being the only correct decision. If you have good instincts and your child is thriving, don't listen to people who have different methodologies, or listen respectfully, but hold fast to your own instincts. It sounds like you are doing great! Kudos to you!
L.

Hi M.,

I nursed and bottle fed both of my kids to sleep - now ages 4 & 6. At about 10 months, I also put a cold bottle of milk in their cribs before I went to sleep so when they woke in the very early morning they had their "ba-ba's" (now at room temp) and I didn't have to drag myself out o bed to get them one - all while keeping the baby monitor right next to my bed in case they started to cough. The TV monitor is the best - I highly recommend one. Being able to see them without disturbing them was the best.
Their teeth are just fine. I think you need to worry about the bottle rot when he is older than 2 and still drinking a bottle.It could also hurt their "bite" as the nipple could push the teeth forward after extended use. I had bottle rot as a kid because I was still drinking a bottle at age 5 (shame on my mom).
I'm done with child proofing but laundry, dishes, pre-k, school, homework, soccer, dance, gymnastics, t-ball and summer camp are now consuming my life! Start making time for yourself NOW before it's too late.

I nursed my DD to sleep without any tooth decay issues. She was a reflux baby and wanted to nurse A LOT! Around 18 mo when the reflux began to resolve I began teaching her to fall asleep on her own. My method was similar to the one Rebecca described and now my DD is a terrific sleeper. We have never had issues with putting her to to bed. I am still nursing my son (another refluxer)to sleep and his first dental checkup was fine as well. My suggestion is to nurse to sleep as long as it feels right to you and just brush teeth in the morning after breakfast.

M., I applaud your nursing your child when feeding to sleep! There is another good reason for doing so: When a mom begins to prop the bottle for the baby...a natural tendancy with a busy mom will be to begin propping it at other feeding times (with younger babies, esp.) A terrible disconnect can occur when that happens.

Holding your baby while feeding creates feelings of safety, security, trust and confidence that s/he is loved. The development of self-esteem in a human begins in infancy. Nursing at the breast, the close holding--for this reason---has a huge advantage over bottle feeding in the development of the child.

R. Conte

Hopefully you are not paying too much attention to the jeers. So many people seem to think that their opinions for raising children are correct. I applaud you for nursing your child in a society where it is often frowned upon for one reason or another. My feeling, and this is only my own humble opinion, is that you know what is best for your child. If you want to nurse your child to sleep, then that is what is best for you. I would recommend brushing his teeth before bed since breastmilk has sugars in it that can cause decay as well. He may not even wake up if you are gentle enough. I nursed my son before bed until he was a year, and now I still give him warm milk before bed, but brushing his teeth afterward is part of the bed time routine. One caveat for you, though- and I am sure you have heard this before. If you always put him to bed asleep he may not learn to fall asleep on his own. If that is not a big deal for you, then do whatever you are comfortable with and whatever is best for your son. That is what being a mother is all about!

Hi M.!

I nursed the last two of my three to sleep, and I just brushed their teeth before that last nursing session. My middle child is 4.5, and our dentist said his teeth are perfect. ;)

I know all about the jeering. I got flack from many, including my own mother who never breastfed ;). My last one just weaned last month at over 2.5 years old--he had been down to nursing only 1x a day--at bedtime--for over a year and a half. He weaned when he was ready, and I could not be happier with the conclusion of our breastfeeding relationship. Personally, I was ready 9 months ago, but I wanted him to self-wean. My middle son self-weaned at 18 months, and my daughter refused to nurse at all. I just go with the flow for each child.

This is my personal parenting preference, and yours is yours. This is you child--you do what feels right in your heart, and then you can tell everyone else where to go. :)

And lastly, you will never get EVERYTHING right! Just continue to do your best... that is all they need!

Yikes! You don't need to wake him up to brush his teeth. Just pull him off after he's fallen asleep and he will naturally swallow any breast milk that is still in his mouth.

I learned after the first child, that it is best to nurse them until they're really sleepy but not quite asleep, and then stop nursing (even jiggling them a little to wake them up a tiny bit) so they learn to fall asleep on their own.

Good luck!

from: Mother of 4 who breastfed a lot!

why dont you try brushing teeth in the morning? i used to brush at night but found my son was sleep/cranky/tired and started to give me a hard time. now after breakfast, i wash his face and brush his teeth!

Hi there,

I loved nursing my kids to sleep, but at around 10 months with both of them, I transitioned them to sleeping on their own. I weaned my first at one year and my second at 15 months, so I felt that I should give them a few months of getting themselves to sleep before I weaned. I have to say, it was much easier and faster when I did it at 10 months, less frustration for both of us. When I waited until 15 months with my son, it was harder for both of us. I just started nursing them in a different place, that was not so quiet and peaceful, and then I would put them in the crib. They would def. cry for a few mintues, but after a day or two, they went to bed happy, and still do at 4 and 2 years old.

Good luck, don't feel pressured to do something! You are the mommy and can make your own rules!

J.

no, I wouldn't worry about brushing his teeth. I've nursed my older son to sleep all the time when he was a baby and I'm not worried about his teeth being bad. His teeth look good. Now he brushes his teeth that he is five years old. I think that sort of thing should be a concern for bottle fed babies. When babies are breastfed, they don't have a lump of breastmilk sitting in their mouth. That can happen when babies are bottlefed, because the milk comes out of the bottle so easily.

M.,

First about your "a little about me" - please don't put so much pressure on yourself to "do all the right things". There are no perfect parents and as you said, some of what some of us do like nursing to sleep would be considered a bad thing by the majority but in MY heart, it is the RIGHT thing to do because it is what works for my son and me. Please don't worry about what everyone else says. To me there are some things we should adhere to like not giving them peanut butter before one for instance but other things like not nursing to sleep or letting them CIO I absolutely don't agree with no matter how much a doctor might say that's what we should do.

If you are concerned about his teeth I wouldn't wake him but instead take a wet washcloth and gently wipe across his teeth. You might be able to do that without waking him. I have three sons and I've never done that though and none of them have cavities or anything.

Take care and enjoy your son without putting so much pressure on yourself. You seem like a great mom. :)

L.

The hardest, but first thing you should worry about it what you think. There were soooooo many times w/my oldest (and 1st child) that I would basically take polls on to see who thought what, but then I realized something - these people arent' me, they aren't the one going on for the 3rd straight night w/out sleep, etc. Sometimes it's hard to trust our gut & such, but it makes it so much easier when we finally do. I would read every magazine and do only what the pedetrician told me, gee thanks for all the help doc! my daughter had colic for the first 11 months of her life then we moved right onto double ear infections. That's when I realized that the doctor telling me not to allow her to sleep w/us was crazy because it actually meant we did get some sleep. It's frustrating a lot of times, but learn to trust yourself - your baby does! Good luck!

All of my grandchildren were nursed to sleep. Brushing teeth at this time is unnecessary. My latest report on this comes from my 22 yr old grandson who was at the dentist this week for a check up. No cavities and and very strong teeth. The amount of candy and soda after the nursing stops has more to do with healthy teeth than brushing after nursing

First I want to say that I nursed my son to sleep until he was 15 months old....i was his pacifier, he could not fall asleep with a bottle, he would drink it, finish, throw the bottle and climb out to find me. So i guess I know how you feel. I never woke my son from his sleep to brush his teeth I would take care of it in the morning when he woke up, he has never had any tooth decay, baby teeth or otherwise. If you are nursing him to sleep i would let the sleeping baby sleep, it can be done in the morning. Just my opinion, hope it helps.

Hi M., As a long time mom I believe the right thing is what you feel in your heart and gut (instinct) There are too many people and doctors telling us what to do. You can listen and use the advice that fits. I nursed all my 5 children and the thing I miss most is nursing them to sleep. We never brushed teeth years ago and breast milk is different than bottles. Enjoy your baby! Cuddle, rest together, try not to worry. This time will pass so quickly and you will miss it too. Many Blessings, Grandma Mary

My problem is that I listent to too many people and forget to listen to my own intuition. Personally I think it is just fine to nurse your son to sleep and don't worry about brushing his teeth because of possible decay. My sister used to fall asleep with a bottle of formula and had one cavity her entire life. I never had a bottle when I went to sleep and I had a couple cavities as a child. My son is nursed to sleep at 9 months and he has 8 teeth. (Can you believe 8 teeth!!) I'm just now toying with the idea of brushing them a little. I've heard to not use baby toothpaste until they are 2 or 3 years old. Just use a finger brush and no paste. Hope this helps! And nursing is the absolute greatest thing you can do for your child.
M.

Our both boys fell asleep in the cribs with bottles till they were 12 months old. And had a cup with really watered down juice after that. Our oldest is 3 1/2 and still has a cup before bed. None of them have cavities.
PS By the way,I got judged(by brestfeeding moms) for choosing not to breasfeed, so it happens no matter what you do.

M. - the biggest problem with leaving the bottle propped with the baby is bottle rot - it can happen at any time - not only after 2 (actually it's worse the younger they are b/c they can't move their heads away from the nipple).

I didn't breastfeed (wish she would have), but fed my dgtr a bottle that she fell asleep with before I laid her down for the night - until she was able to fall asleep on her own around 9-10 mos I think. So many people say don't do that but she slept through the night after she'd fall asleep and could self soothe throughout the night as needed. So - I think whatever works for you and him is what works and go with it. Now- of course at some point he'll need to learn to go to sleep on his own - but it may be easier for you after you wean him from the breast completely. You'll figure that out too - just follow your instincts and his cues.

As for the tooth brushing - let the child sleep! If you wake him to brush his teeth - you could be up all night! Brush his teeth in the am and in the afternoon maybe too between feedings. The cause of tooth decay is residue left on the gums and teeth. I have never heard about the antibacterial properties of breastmilk, but considering everything else they find in it - it wouldn't surprise me! But- you don't have to brush, use paste or anything after that feeding. If you are concerned - maybe a little water in his mouth to clear out any residue. That's all they need at this age (yes, I brushed my dgtr's, but her schedule allowed it - yours isn't! LOL) If it's waking him up - I really don't think you should fret about it too much yet. Making sure he's not getting a lot of sugars throughout the day - and drinking water to clear out his mouth after he has something more sugary (like fruit) I think is fine at this point without needing to brush his teeth after his final feeding.

PS - there's no "right" thing - just a bunch of opinions (even from the MD's - and those constantly change!) Go with your gut!

Nurse him a little earlier, brush his teeth then put him to bed...I have horror stories about not putting kids to bed awake...you'll thank yourself for it later on!!!

Best wishes...and remember...YOU'RE the mom - you have to do what is right for you and your family...all we do is offer our 2 cents!!

J.

I stopped putting my son to sleep by inducing milk coma at about your son's age in part due to the tooth decay issue, but mostlly because I heard about how important it was for him to go to sleep on his own.
I guess you have to bite the bullet sooner or later and get him to learn to put himself to sleep without the breast or bottle, and the sooner you do it the easier it will be for him to "get it." There will be a transition that you will have to deal with in terms of crying and resistance, but if you wait much longdr it gets harder.
So after nursing, change his nappie and brush teeth, hug and kiss, into bed and
the fun begins!

Hi Michelle,
I too have nursed both my sons to sleep for long periods... however the concern you could be thinking about is that this fella needs to be able to get himself to sleep at some point without drinking or sucking and the longer you wait to help him learn how to do that - the harder it will be. You've probably heard of Furber-izing... which I don't totally agree with (too harsh) but the basic principal of easing your child towards sleep independence is important. My four year old still struggles sometimes if he "baby" him too much and stay with him until he's asleep... He falls right back into his old habits. There is the "Baby Whisperer" approach. Tracy Hoagg (or something like that) and she's much more sensitive and kind. Anyway - it's something to do gradually. Nurse your son until he's drowsy but not asleep. Put him in his bed at that stage and work on getting him to fall asleep on his own. 11 months is even later than I would start - but certainly never too late.
Good luck. It's working beautifully with our 9 month old and we just started easing him into it in the last couple weeks.

Honestly, you need to stop this habit sooner rather then later. You see, the habits you create now are what your child will need to help him fall asleep. If you ever plan to stop breast feeding this is going to be a horrible experience for you. Your son needs to nurse to fall asleep. So when you want to stop nursing what is he suppose to do. He isn't going to say "well o.k. I'll just go to sleep." it's going to be hard for him to learn to put himself to sleep, because he has always relied on you. Now he is left to his own devices to fall asleep. Good luck to you, I don't envy you at all. I'm speaking from experience here. I nursed both my kids and taught them at a very early age how to fall asleep on their own. Now at 4 my son goes to bed easier then any kid I've ever seen, and now my 1 yr old daughter is the same way. As for the teeth brushing thing, doesn't that defeat the purpose of nursing him to fall asleep. Also, is he still nursing during the night? What then. And for that matter, do you brush his teeth during the day after he nurses, every time. I don't think waking him to brush his teeth is necessary.

I brestfed my son every night til he wsa 15 months old and did NOT wake him. Just brush his teeth first thing in the AM. I did the same with our daughter!
And people that say negatice things about breastfeeding it is because they are JEALOUS or weren't willing to do all they could for their babies!

keep up the good work!