Nursing to Sleep

Hi L.,

My stance is that these days we are far too quick to make our children "independent" and that includes weaning our children too early and/or controlling when they nurse too rigidly. I nursed my 4 year old daughter until she was 3 and I think we have both reaped a lot of benefits from it. If you have the time to nurse your child who is under 1 and let it be a comfort, I say it's the best thing for both of you. There isn't any harm in it. I never saw nursing as a hassle and so nursing my daughter to sleep, whether at nap or bedtime, was always a pleasure for both of us. I also nursed her when she was injured as a way of comfort. I would say that at about a year and a half I started to restrict it a bit more and by the time she was two, it was only at bedtime and early morning and almost never in public anymore. We talked about it when I decided to wean and honestly, she was ready and willing on her 3rd birthday and it was no problem.

Nursing is one of the best things we as moms can do for our children to foster health, safety, comfort and trust in this very individualized country. As long as you don't see conflict in it, I think you should do what your heart tells you (in terms of nursing) is best for your child.

Good luck and keep up the good work!
~Liza in Northampton.

Ok, so you've heard enough of it but..... I read your post then put my 5 mo old son down for his first nap and had to come back to reply. I've had stuggles with my milk supply and battle with it everyday. Then I gave myself a reality check and said, "You know this isn't going to go on forever (eventhough it feels like it will right now) so do the best you can while you can." I cherish every nursing time we have and am grateful for what milk I have to give him. This morning I nursed him when he woke up, about 2 hrs ago, and thought he can't be hungry so I'll try putting him down without nursing and see if he soothes himself, which he sometimes does. Not today. After about 10 minutes of fussing I looked into his tear filled eyes and picked him up and nursed him for not even 5 minutes before he was asleep (whick is good cause I don't have much after just 2 hours). Why did I wait those 10 minutes?!? We all have sleep routines. If you asked 100 happily married couples if they slept better with their spouses in the bed with them, I'd bed 90+% would say they do. We all got our thing and right now you are your baby's "Thing" and so am I and what sounds like so many other moms too. Keep it up. We're all doing the right thing and in a few more months we'll look back and long for this special time together that only we can give them.

The best advice I would have would to be to create a routine for her that helps her wind down. My daughter would only fall asleep nursing at night for a while when she was an infant. You could nurse her a little earlier than usual then create a nightime/naptime routine. I found that rocking my daughter and reading her a book in a quiet room away from all other distraction was something that gave her that time to unwind. She would fall asleep pretty quickly after that on her own.

Continue to nurse her to sleep. You will never regret this time you have with her. She will be grown in no time at all and will not need you to nurse her then! haha Enjoy!

I've never understood why "they" say not to nurse a child to sleep. I did with my older (now 4 and NOT nursing to sleep for the last few years) and do it currently with my younger (4 months). When nursing tapered off with the older so did the nursing to sleep thing. If it is not somehow inconvenient to do it, and it works, why stop? It is so nice, having the little one fall asleep at your breast, so sweet and warm. Just my 2 cents, sure there will be lots of other ideas on the topic too.

Hi L.!

My name is L. and I have two girls Juliana who is 3 years old and Madalyn who is 8 months. I nursed both my girls ( still nursing Madalyn) and let them fall asleep while nursing. From my experince with Juliana who stopped nursing at 1 1/2 years and is now 3, LOVED to nurse. I felt this same way ..that she would never go to sleep on her own. Well, she goes to sleep perfectly fine for us now AND in her own bed. Do what you feel is best, not what books and other influences are telling you! Good luck!

-L.

my youngest nursed till 15 months, and nothing else would soothe or or put her to sleep other than a good ol boob! it was soooo hard because she would wake up to 8 or 10 times a night!!!! however once i weaned her she slept fine maybe woke once in the night to come in our bed, but for naps...i still have to take her for a drive every afternoon! So, if you can somehow manage to get her to sleep without it, great. However if she sleeps better and it's not really disrupting your sleep, stick with it. The longer you nurse the better!

Hi L., I nursed my kids(no bottles, no binkies) until they were almost 1. I introduced sippie cups around 8-9 months which they did ok with. For naps I had to drive around until they fell asleep, or if we stayed home I gave them a sippie with breast milk. At night was the tough part...my husband had to put them to bed when we decided to stop for good. I had to leave the house because he knew I would give in too easy. It took 4 nights, and the kids were fine with him. No crying, no fussing...not fair(ha ha) I think its worse if they know you're there(for you as well). I was amazed how quickly they forgot about it! I do know moms who nursed beyond a year & I guess it gets harder the older they are. Good luck

I hate to say it but it is time to curb that behavior or you will be doing it for a long time. You don't necessarily have to do the cry it out method, there are a lot of others out there. I have a 4 year old and a 19 month old and I did the cry it out with both of them and now they both go to bed with a book or two read to them. But you need to be com frtable with this method and willing to keep it up otherwise you will just be torturing yourself and your children. Make sure you ahve the full support from your husband beforew you start otherwise you two will be batting heads and it won't help anyone. Good luck!

I agree - this is the least of your worries. All too soon she will be too old for this kind of closeness and you'll remember the times you had with fondness. When my son was a baby, some wise mother told me that you cannot spoil babies - babies are not manipulative, they just know what the want and need, and try to get it. I nursed both my children to sleep at nap time and at bed time, and they are now well-adjusted teens (no lasting damage :-)).

Hi L.,

In my opinion, at 7 1/2 months it's okay to nurse your baby to sleep. I know the experts say not to do it, but I did with both my boys, and they outgrew it (they outgrew nursing entirely!) by about 12 months. If she were 19 1/2 months I'd be concerned, but she's still little. I'd let her do it for a while longer. What can be nicer for a baby than a full tummy and a good nap?!

Best wishes,
Jenn

Hi,
I think you have gotten great advice so far. I just wanted to let you know what I have done with my 10 month old daughter who I nursed to sleep most of the time until recently. I decided to get serious about not nursing her to sleep because I do want to start weaning her entirely. So, I started a nap time/bedtime routine without nursing. I nurse her downstairs or wherever she doesn't associate sleep-then we go to her room,dim the lights, sit on floor together (not associated with nursing) , read a book, then I stand up and hold her in my arms while singing to her. Then , I put her in the crib groggy and rub her head or back and keep singing. She eventually falls asleep and if not (I let 10-15 minutes go by), I leave the room and return regularly to comfort her (never picking her up unless she's hysterical)until she falls asleep. It has worked amazingly well. Not much crying involved at all because I never found that to work well for anyone. I have read a lot on all this stuff, like you, and this seems to work. She can fall asleep on her own during the night too if she wakes up (usually!).Good luck and don't stress out about it!

Hi L.!

You know, I'm sensing something in the wording of your post...
it sounds a little like you don't really mind that your daughter nurses to sleep and that in some ways it is really beneficial for her. Did someone give you the idea that this was a "bad habit" and now you are worried that's true?
I say, trust your mothering instincts.
If making her cry-it-out feels wrong to you, then don't do it.
When I had my first baby and worried a lot, a friend of mine once said:

"Remember,nothing your child does is a "problem" unless it's a problem for YOU".

That really helped me choose my battles more wisely and made me feel less anxious about parenting "correctly"

I have 4 children and nursed all of them to sleep every time they slept -nap or bedtime. Once in awhile it felt like a drag, but mostly the closeness of it was a wonderful gift for all of us. They don't stay little all that long. And if it helps to know, my girls are now 10, 8 and 6 and are self-confident, independent and great sleepers. (and, no, they no longer nurse to sleep LOL!...but their 3month old brother does!)

Hope this helps some :)

may you be well in all ways,
Annie

Hi L.

I have the same problem too with my little daughter who is 6 months old. She also does the same thing and I wonder when will it stop. At night i have to sleep in one position most of the times ..thats when it gets bad. However I love her and the way she snuggles up to me and has her little leg on me.

Hopefully she will begin to sleep by herself. I dont believe in crying it out method and so waiting is the only one i know. TIll that time I give you company in your sweet struggle!!

Wish there was more i could say to help. I keep researching the internet fr the same problem you have mentioned here. feels good to know someone else is going thru the same thing as I.

S.

I am in the same boat! My daughter is 6 1/2 months and she falls asleep nursing too. Does your daughter sleep through the night? This is the biggest struggle I have, she still gets up 2 or 3 times during the night to nurse and I don't even think she is hungry all the time, but just wants that comfort. I've pretty much decided that this is jsut how it's going to be until I stop breastfeeding, I just hope we don't have a hard time when it's time to wean. Best of luck!!!

try transitioning her to a binky after nursing, but you will definitely need to break her of the habit or you'll be stuck until she's weened! trust me on this one...