October Bithday-Oldest or Youngest in Class

Updated on May 20, 2008
M.M. asks from Summerville, SC
29 answers

My daughter (19 months, turns 2 October 5th) will be starting preschool in the fall. I have a choice of 2 preschools: Preschool #1, which is our favorite school, thinks she should be in the older 1 year old room until she's almost 3 (I think she'd be bored in a a baby room) so that when she gets to Kindergarten age, she'll be in line with the age cutoffs for public school. Preschool #2 wants her to be the youngest in the 2 year old room this fall, which I'd prefer. However, when she's done with preschool, she'll still have to wait a year to start kindergarten. I'd love to hear some other moms' experiences with this because it is really confusing to me!!! Thanks, everyone.

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So What Happened?

Thanks, everyone, for your responses. I think I'm just going to pick the school that's the best fit and play it by ear. If I think she's bored, I'll ask to have her advanced and vice versa. Everyone was a lot of help and brought up lots of points I wouldn't have thought of! I was a bit taken aback, though, by the woman who suggested that I didn't love my child if I didn't homeschool her???? I could just as easily turn the tables on that and say that if YOU loved your child, you'd give them the opportunity for a normal childhood. To each their own, I guess. Thanks again, moms!!!

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S.W.

answers from Atlanta on

I'm a little confused by you post, but see if this answers the question! I have a boy who was five in December. I'd vote for keeping her with her age group so that she does not have to repeat a year and enters kindergarten according to the cut off. My son has always been one of the older ones in his preschool class, but has always had fun and never complained about being bored. I feel like if he'd had to repeat a year, that boredom might have kicked in.

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P.K.

answers from Macon on

Hi my son also has an october birthday i kept him in the class that he was the oldest in but he has been at the school there for 2 years and i think that he is doing fine and not bored also he was been learning from the A Beka book teachings so this august he will start pre-k at the public school and i feel he is ready so good luck with whatever you decide you could test the waters with the one year old class and if they feel she is to advance then maybe you can move her to the other

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T.O.

answers from Charleston on

Hi M.,

One option might be to keep her in school #2 and then place her in a different preschool for the year before she goes to Kindergarten. I know it is a hard choice. My son was born in Dec so he is one old for preschool, but it seems like there are enough kids in his class that are also older, so you never know...

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C.R.

answers from Atlanta on

October birthdays are a joy! I teach preschool and the Sept-Dec. kids are always my oldest. I have an Older 2's class that has a cut-off date of Jan. 31st for entry. My three's class is mixed. I will take the older birthdays any day!
Always remember that your child is usually assessed from their place in the academic year (Sept-May), not the calendar year. Always better to be the oldest than the youngest. I have actively taught preschool for 19 years. I find this to be true @ 95% of the time.
I don't understand her having to be in the same class for almost two years, though. They must not offer and 18 mos and then a 2's class as Roswell Presbyterian does. I still opt for her being the oldest among her peers.
Hope this helps. I am also thinking way down the road to dating, driving, entering college, etc.

Cathy

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S.M.

answers from Atlanta on

My daughter has an Octber first birthday. She is 4 this year and has always played with the older 4 year olds. She did a privite pre-k this year and this fall she will be in the public pre-k. I see nothing wrong with her being one of the oldest in the class. I look at her doing Pre-k twice as somthing that will help her in school later on. We did not push her this year what ever she could do she did. Now that school is in the last week she is writing her name and trying to write other peoples name.
Now that being said i have a 2 year old son that has a December birthday looking at him right now I do not see putting him in pre-k for two years I do not think that he would be ready. but i still have a year b4 i have to make that choose for him so who knows.
I was also the oldest kid in my class b/c of my birthday and I never minded.

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D.M.

answers from Savannah on

Our daughter was not on the age cusp, but she went to a very good preschool, by the time that she was ready for kindergarten, she was advanced enough to really skip it. We allowed her to do so. She did very well until she hit the 4th grade and had kind of a "burn out" with school. Her grades were fine, so we left her there. When she got to be a senior, she was in a private school and came to us in the middle of the year and told us she felt she was not ready to graduate. The school allowed ud to let her go another year. She took some extra classes, and they called her 1st senior year her junior year. He last year was wonderful for her and she blossomed.

I think sometimes we push our kids to be smarter, faster better, not saying that you are wishing to do that. I work in a library and have worked in a school for many years. I think sometimes that being slower in the beginning lets them catch their breath and adjust emotionally, physically and educationally. Let her start out in the younger class, she may find that she likes being there. Don't worry about her not be ahead at this point she will have 12 years+ to get the education she needs.

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N.H.

answers from Charleston on

My 5 yo daughter will be starting kindergarten this fall and some of the other younger kids in her 4/5 yo preschool class won't be starting until next year as their birthdays are just past the cut off date. Their parents are now struggling because they have been in class with the older kids who are now leaving and are faced with another year in the same classroom doing the same curriculum. We all adore our school and some parents are considering changing schools just so their kids will have different activities/learning opportunities. I think this is a shame. I am happy my daughter is not faced with this problem. If I were you, I think I would let her be amongst the older kids in the class, although I think it's a bit strange that the school has 1 year olds with almost 3 year olds. Do they not have a 2 yo class? I just think that year they have to wait to start kindergarten is a toughy when they have to watch all of the older kids that they've been playing with for so long leave and then they are faced with repeating an entire year's worth of learning experiences. Good luck though, I know this is a hard decision.

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L.S.

answers from Charleston on

have her be the youngest.
I am an october 25th b day and was the youngest in my class, I even had frinds who were a full year older. I had a harder time in school, esp after about the 3rd grade, ...both in the classroom and with "developing" later than my friends.

My step daughter is also the youngest in her class, Oct 24 bday. She has always been at the top of her class and done well but now that she is in 7th grade she is struggling more and more. She is very responsible to do homework and work hard but she is finding that she has to work extra hard now to keep up. It is also hard on her sometimes because a lot of things have age cut offs and because she is younger than her classmates it sometimes causes a problem.

Pros...being younger means graduating at 17, not 18.
Con....having to go off to college or start you life at 17 is more of a challenge
Also, people want you to be even more responsible because you are in a group of older kids, thats fine but my daughter will only be 12 when she starts 8th grade...13 when she starts high school...its a hard crule world at school, i know, I teach!

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N.B.

answers from Atlanta on

Hello M.:

In raising three children who could read and write prior to kindergarten I have learned to allow the child to be with their age group as they would be upon entering school.

Allowing one child to be in a grade ahead was okay educationally, however, emotionally this gives your child disadvantage as they grow. Once they are preteens they are not allowed the same privileges as the age group and emotionally they are not going through the same changes as the older children. Allow your child to be a child. Having her in her age group will afford her to be in the higher achievement classes with her age group.

I did that with the third child and not only did she do extremely well academically but emotionally.

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T.B.

answers from Spartanburg on

hi M., i will have the same issue next year with my 8 month old daughter. her birthday is 9/20. my stepsister is now 13 with an october birthday and is the oldest in her class. i think she's really benefited from this growing up. she has more maturity and more confidence from being a little older than the other kids in her class and has done really well in school. i agree with what a lot of the other moms have said about putting her as the youngest now and then 2 years of kindergarten/prek before "real" school. so much of what they learn at that age is fundamental that it can't hurt having more time to develop those skills. good luck!

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M.B.

answers from Athens on

Hi, I have been in that situation 3 times and really almost 4. I have twins now 26 with December birthdays - girl and boy. My youngest daughter now 15 has her birthday August 24, she went to kindergarten as a 4 year old for one day. My other son now 17, birthday July 30.

I have always wondered how the opposite scenario would have played out for each of our children. The twins were held back due to their birthdays - I can see where it definitely helped my son, not sure about my oldest daughter - the twins.
My now 17 year old with the birthday in July - never went to preschool - stayed in home daycares - was not held back - makes the best grades of all our children with little effort. The other three were in pre-school for all or at least one year of Pre-K. My now 15 year old daughter - that attended Pre-K, then entered kindergarten at age 4 for one day (she turned 5 over the weekend following the start of school), I think could have actually benefitted from being held back. She was also diagnosed with ADD with borderline HD in the later part of 1st grade. There have been many moments where we have discussed the probability that maybe she would have done better by being held back.

My point is you have to judge for yourself where your child is in developmental areas and where she needs to be in this phase of her life. But once you make the decision you need to be comfortable in knowing that all will work out in either way you go, just may be more or less work in certain areas.

Our daughter has not enjoyed being the youngest in her class - she is the last to get to do a lot of the things that age dictates her priveledges, therefore think not only of now but of the child's future.

I know I was a young working mother and was so ready for what the school had to offer me as a parent, rather than focusing on where my child(ren)'s needs were.

But, they have all made it through pretty well.

Ask the Lord's guidance, and listen to your motherly instincts to tell you which area to place your child, then sit back and get ready -because life goes so quickly in the life of a child.

Good Luck and best wishes.

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E.K.

answers from Florence on

My daughter has an October birthday, and I can say that with our experience, I should have forced the school system to take her into kindergarten when she was 4. She has consistently been bored in school and remains unchallenged. However, I have a November birthday and did start kindergarten at 4 and was always the youngest which became frustrating when all my friends could drive and I couldn't, lol! With my daughter, I had her in private preschool and pre-k, which at least kept her occupied, and may be part of why she is academically well off now. You know your child better than anyone - you will choose the school that will be the best fit for her. Good luck!

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K.G.

answers from Atlanta on

I went through the same thing with my daughter when she was 3. Her birthday is in November. We were living in Atlanta at the time. The private school that she went to put her in the 4 year old class room after they tested her. She did very well in there. She was not as attentive due to her age but she did great socially and academically. Then my job moved me to Florida. When we got there, she would have been 5 in the First grade. They made us put her back in Kindergarten. We got calls from the school frequently because she was bored and would do other things to entertain herself because they were doing things that she already knew. If you are sure that when you put he into mainstream school they will not put her back then go for it. If you aren't, then I would put her in the youngest class now as opposed to being forced to do it a couple of years down the road. It will be harder for the child then than it is now.

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D.A.

answers from Atlanta on

My daughter was born in late October and she is the oldest in her class. Since she is my only child, I found that it helps her social skills - she's good at sharing, showing compassion, and she loves helping the teachers and taking care of the others! Ask school #1 and #2 about their rules for potty training, which is your next step, and probably a key factor in deciding which school to choose. Whoever has the better (one you like) method of potty training is the one you can pick to work with. The general rule is that if you are born after September, you will be the oldest in the class so check out the school that she will go to after the daycare for Kindergarten. In the meantime, I try to expose my daughter to things that improves her communication skills so that she is always challenged. We go to the zoo or the aquarium depending on the weather, take walks around the neighborhood and study the leaves and trees, or go to the park. She loves to work in the garden! Consider that being the youngest in a class can be intimidating as well as challenging, but being the oldest can help reinforce important skills (motor, social and cognitive)and beneficial - take your daughter to the schools and get her reaction. Hope this helps!

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B.F.

answers from Atlanta on

My daughter's birthday is Oct 15 and she will be 3 . She starts preschool this fall and will be in the 2 year old program. Their is something to be sais for being the oldest in the class rather than the youngest. I was older than most of my classmates (Oct birthday too) and school came easily for me. My brother turned 5 the week before school started and was the youngest in his class. He struggled for every grade he got.

I had the same concern as you with my daughter and opted to wait another year before putting her in preschool because I thought she was too advanced to go into a one year old class. She already counts, knows 9 colors, knows 5 shapes and her vocabulary is amazing. I have a friend that teaches 2yo preschool that assures me that she is way ahead of a 2yo class
but I would still prefer her to be the oldest and stay with the group she will be starting school with rather than see her friends start kindergarten and wonder why she has to stay home another year.

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A.C.

answers from Columbia on

Hi there,
I read all the other responses and would now like to ad my thoughts...
I was a Sep child started 5 K at 4 years old... I was "brilliant" and ahead of the game the first few years... then maturity or the lack there of became a factor and my grades suffered. My mother has said many times she wished she would not have listened to the school and had me wait another year...
Academics are not everything in school, they can suffer the consequences of social and physical maturity not catching up.
My classmates got to date before me, wear make-up before me, and of course date before me. This sounds trivial but we have all been teens at sometime, did it seem trivial while you were surviving and enduring those years?
So while she may be very bright consider all the angles. Also, if she is older and very bright this gives her a bigger edge in becoming the head of the class. Class ranking does effect college acceptance, so it could be an edge in the long-term.
Good luck with your decision. I think you will find more pros to the oldest in her class perspective, but thats just my opinion.

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B.M.

answers from Atlanta on

Do what will be an easier transition for "real school". If you think she would be bored in the younger classroom at the school you really like, just try it - you may be surprised. My daughter is the youngest in her class - she is now 8. People insisted that I hold her back even before she was born because she had an August B-day. She has excelled in all class activities and I like the fact she is youngest because I can say that other kids in her class get to do certain things but she has to learn patience and wait her turna dn age. My son on the other hand has an Oct b-day and I am glad. I am keeping him in daycare part time until he can oficially go into k-4. No need to rush him thru when he will hit a brick wall when he can't go into school until he hits the correct age. By the way, if yo ufind a school that teaches Abekka, you would be pleasantly surprised with what your child will learn!

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R.L.

answers from Charleston on

Hi M.:

I had both case scenarios. My son was an October baby and my daughter was a December baby. Both were very smart but my husband and I decided to let the chips fall where they may. We thought is was best for them to be with own age group. With my son he was the smartest in the class but also the youngest which created some fitting in problems. My daughter was one of the older children and was also at the top of her class.

No need to rush things you baby will be off to college before you know.

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B.S.

answers from Atlanta on

M.-I teach young twos. My suggestion would be to let her be the youngest in the class in the 2 yr old room and see how she progresses thru pre-school. This way you have several opportunities to hold her back prior to reaching elementary school should you decide you want to. She could repeat 2's, 3's or 4's and never know the difference. I had my son repeat kindergarten--he did one yr at the preschool, and then we decided from a maturity level, he'd be better served waiting a year, so we did kindergarten at the public school. It was the best decision we made. I've never heard a parent say, I wish I had not held my child back. I love that he is the oldest in the class now that he is in middle school, rather than the youngest. I think at 19 mos tho, its imposible to tell whether or where she will be once its time for kindergarten. Good luck.

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C.H.

answers from Augusta on

I didn't know 2 yr olds were able to be put in pre-k?I'm assuming it's daycare based one?My 5 yr old just started pre-k in an elementary school this past year when he was 4 and will be going to kindergarden when school starts back.How will your daughter be in Kindergarden at 3?I know they require the child to be potty trained and able to wipe themselves or atleast capable of doing so.Sorry if these are stupid questions but I really thought children had to be 4 to start pre-k.

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D.R.

answers from Atlanta on

Hi M.,
I have a son, who is now 17yo, and a nephew, who is now 10yo. Both are the youngest in their class. If we had it to do over again, both my sister and I would not have started them to school so early. The are always behind developmentally, no matter how much ahead they seem now. They will grow up fast enough, our society is so driven to propel your children forward, however in the big picture it is more of a disadvantage, than an advantage. Good Luck!

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J.M.

answers from Atlanta on

I would keep her on track like she is supposed to be. In the little preschool classes they don't do much in the way of academics anyway. Anything they do is based on ability anyway. Also soooooo many people automatically hold their kids back if they have a summer birthday so they won't be the youngest. So in reality by the time your child gets to kindergarden she won't be the oldest.

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L.K.

answers from Atlanta on

I have two children with October/December birthdays who are the oldest in their classes. I have a November birthday and was put ahead a year, so I was always the youngest in my class. My husband has a September birthday and was always the oldest. It can work well either way and depends on the development of the child. I suggest putting her in the older class but not having her be "done" with preschool and wait a year before kindergarten. I would have her repeat the last year of preschool so she still has something to do, friends, a routine she is used to, pre-k curriculum, etc. She will get a lot more out of doing the last year twice (pre-reading skills, etc.) rather than being in the 1 year old room and doing the last year once. I hope this makes sense. Good luck.

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J.F.

answers from Atlanta on

When we first selected the preschool that our son (and later our daughter) attended, we chose one that also offered a half-day kindergarten program. Because our son has a summer birthday, we wanted to have the option of keeping him in a private program if we felt that he wasn't ready to go to school. It turned out that he thrived in preschool, and was more than ready to move into kindergarten when he was 5. He responds well to being challenged, and so he does well in a class with kids who are a bit older. Our daughter also has a summer birthday, and she is also the youngest in her class. If your preschool doesn't offer a half-day kindergarten program, you might look into one that does so that you have that option in a few years.

And I have to say that I was very offended by Bunny's response to you regarding homeschooling. Believe it or not, you can love your children and still opt to send them to school! That was a very shortighted comment.

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D.V.

answers from Atlanta on

Hello. I am on both sides of this fence. The school cutoff is Sept 1. My oldest is 6 w/ an Aug 17 b-day. She is the youngest in her 1st grade class and will graduate HS at age 17. My youngest is 4 w/ an Oct 1 b-day. She will be starting pre-k in the fall and be one of the oldest in her class. I would rather my child be a little bored now then when they are older and might act out. When it is time for Pre-k you do not have a choice. You must be 4 by Sept 1st of that year. I also teach preschool and we use the sept 1st cutoff. At such an early age the kids don't notice they just like having fun.

Hope this helps

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B.W.

answers from Myrtle Beach on

I am a december birthday and started K at 4. I was always the youngest, but it didn't really bother me. I was a pretty quick child and definitely would have been bored had I been held back that year. My husband, however was an Oct birthday and did Pre-K twice as they decided he was n't yet ready for K. I think this all depends very much on the child. I have 2 dec children, and my older one , who will be 5 this December has already started Kindergarten. (we homeschool) I knew he was ready for some of the concepts so we went ahead. You have to look at each child as an individual. The schools want them all to fit in thse slots, but really each child is quite different!

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B.P.

answers from Spartanburg on

If this precious baby is the love of your life, I'm surprised you don't consider homeschooling.

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L.S.

answers from Atlanta on

You are not alone. There are many of us in this situation. I've experienced this with my 3 year old. He will be 4 Sept. 3, so misses the cutoff by a few days. Right now he is in a preschool class with the 3 year olds that will go to Pre-K in the fall. He has to wait until next year, so won't be with all of his friends come fall and he will be one of the oldest when he does go. No matter how you look at it there will be some adjusting on their part and ours. I agree there should be a cutoff, but it should be a few months after school starts not weeks. Just make sure your 2 year old is being challenged. If not revisit the situation and maybe they can move her. We've done this with our son. He gets bored quickly. So far the school has been good at accomodating. When his friends go off to Pre-K he will be moved to an older preschool room. Again, I agree with a cutoff, but I think they should allow testing if your child is within a week or two of that date. If they pass and are ready, they should go. If not, then they wait. Some friends have suggested Private school to me. We just can't afford Private school at this time. Good luck.

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B.F.

answers from Atlanta on

I understand your situation I too have a child that has a miss the cut off for school birthday his is 9/7. Because he started prek at 2 waiting for that 3 birthday be had to be in the 2 yr old rm..he was bored and was ahead of the other kids in fact it set him back some in my opinion. We left that school and started a new school that had an yearly 4 yr old class and an older 4 yr old class then a class called getting ready for kindergarten so he had room to grow. This yr he completes his older 4 yr old class that has worked well for him and this coming school yr he enters the getting ready for kindergarten class...well he's really ready for kindergarten but short of finding a private school I can't afford he has to wait by law until he's 5 so he may be bored but I know that onces he's in kindergarten I can move him up to 1st grade. I'd put her in the class she'd excel in and when it comes time that she's going to finish at that school I'd work on finding a church that has a kindergarten program since they cost less then private or a church that has a prek program that gets them ready for kindergarten I wouldn't keep her out a yr before kindergarten she won't have the social activity around her and she may really miss that after having it for a few yrs. I do think she may be bored in the babyroom I sub at my son's prek school and there's a different stimulation for the children then in the 2 yr old class.

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