Old Dog with Incontinence and When to Know When It Is Time

If my dog was constantly in pain and unable to refrain from peeing on himself, I would consider it time.

It's really not any one thing that's going to help you decide. It's more of a mathematical equation.

Good quality of life > Bad quality of life.

When that equality changes, and her quality of life is no longer good...you let her go.

Love to you. I still miss my MK kitty.

I'll say this from our experience last year with our cat.

He was 18, had kidney failure, but was receiving hydration treatments (we had a vet tech come to the house) and seemed fine. He seemed a little 'older', sort of a dottering, old cat meow and actions. We thought we'd wait until things were 'plain as day' that he couldn't go further. Sure, he was starting to pee on the rug, but we figured that 'old cat' behavior.

We even discovered he was blind, and yet he still seemed 'okay'. But I knew it was time. This was really hard for my husband, but after a hard conversation, he agreed we'd have him euthanized.

I wish, oh, god, do I wish, that we'd had him put down earlier. The night my husband agreed to this, -- it was awful. Sometime during that evening, he must have had a series of strokes. He was wandering around, meowing and confused. Sometime during that night (and we were up all night, he was peeing, throwing up everywhere) he must have broken one of his legs.
We didn't sleep, it was like the worst night with a sick, mobile infant who was never happy to be in any one place and just suffering. The vet came at 8 the next morning to help him die. We were, sadly, more than ready.

I would have given anything for him not to have suffered. I think there is a mindset that we must do every single thing possible, until they have severe pain, but I would say that forcing that point cost us, in a lot of ways. It took away the option of having a peaceful end. He had to suffer for that one evening, and that felt like way too much for all of us.

We now have two new young cats and know that we will never, ever again take such profound measures to keep an animal who is failing alive. Gus was an awesome cat, my best buddy, and we know now that letting go sooner means that it would have been better for us all, esp. him.

our old dog is almost there. he's 13 too, and his back end goes out on him sometimes. he's losing his hearing and his sight, and sleeps a lot.
we're keeping a close eye on him, and when the joie de vivre is going, we'll let him go too. and yeah, the incontinence will be one of the signs that we need to tell the boys to come home and say goodbye. i'll be happy to use doggy diapers if it works for him and keeps him happy. but he's a very good dog, and i think 'going' in the house will distress him. he won't understand that the diapers make it okay, he'll just know he's doing something he's not supposed to do.
i think that when it gets to the point that complicated explanations are necessary, we let 'em go. i think most of us who love our critters are guilty of keeping them around for too long. i've done it way too many times.
i hope i get it right with our old boy.
which reminds me, i need to research vets who will come to your home. ours doesn't, and the worst thing about that last awful day is taking them to the vet's office, which they all hate. i wish there were more vets willing to make the trip. i'll pay handsomely for it. i think that's a niche industry whose time has come.
good luck to you, hon. so hard.
:( khairete
S.

So sorry your pooch is struggling. At 13, they definitely start to feel & show their age, in different ways.

For the immediate fix, definitely move towards Party pants (diapers for dogs) to help with the leaking, & talk to your vet. The medications available for incontinence are in many cases very effective, & not bank-breaking.

Regarding the question of when to let go - it is so hard to answer that. I try to relate it to quality of life. We had a dog with arthritis in the back & hips... She made it to 15. But when the pain medication (that should have lasted 8 hours) wasn't holding back the pain after only 2, & she was whimpering as she laid on the couch, we knew it was time to say goodbye. I was hoping that she would pass naturally, but the reality is that doesn't happen very often.

If your dog has mobility, and the pain is manageable (I'm assuming some arthritis due to age?), and you are able to keep her comfortable & see her getting enjoyment out of being with you, then it is not her time yet. But when she loses interest in food, or activities that normally would get her excited, or when she is in unmanageable pain (some whimpering when rising/laying is normal, think of your grandparents making ouch comments when getting up or sitting down in a chair, but once settled, if there is continued whimpering/whining that medication won't relieve...), or loses control of her bowels (some people will manually assist their dogs, others won't/can't, it's a personal choice), then that is usually a time to say goodbye.

Sometimes the only thing we can do is what we think is best for our dogs - some people are able to physically do more to help them as they age than others. In my breed (Rhodesian Ridgeback) there is a genetic disease that causes rear paralysis, & works its way systematically through the body (similar to ALS). I put down one of mine when she started getting sores on her feet from dragging them, & didn't get excited for food. Friends of mine who are retired had one that they were able to care for to the very end, and even though in the final months their dog could only move it's head, there was still a spark in her eyes, & she was very much engaged in the household.

So to sum up, there is no "one indicator" that tells you when the time has come, but knowing your dog, & knowing your limitations & what you are willing to do for their comfort, will help you make the decision. And make sure to love them, to the very end of the road, whenever that may be. T.

From what you wrote, your dog is nearly blind and mostly deaf. She falls down on the floor often enough that you are buying aids to helps her walk, and now she messes herself on a daily basis. Didn't you just answer your own question?

1. Rate their pain/comfort level
2. Dignity

This just breaks my heart. I don't have any real advice, just sending hugs. My big, old, sweet dog is 10.5 and he is having lots of trouble with the standing up and sliding on the wood floors. (in fact, which booties did you get?? We've looked at some options but I haven't gotten anything yet) Just the thought of him dying sends me into tears. I know I'm the one that will want to hang on and my husband will probably be the one that has to push.

I feel like you need to just ask your vet all these questions and hopefully they can be the ones to guide you. Yes, bowel incontinence would be awful and that is probably a good indicator but even then, I don't think I'd do very well at making that decision.

And….I'm totally crying now just from writing this post and thinking about both our dogs!

No one can tell you when to make this tough decision. Only you and your family have that responsibility, it's such a personal thing.

When you do know in your heart it's time, find a vet to come to your house. Being at home turns what could be a traumatic experience into something very sweet and soulful. We put our beloved girl down in our own backyard with my oldest daughter present. It was an experience we all cherish.

Sad yes but also sweet in that we KNOW she died happy and at peace. We held her, said our goodbyes and let her drift away with a chew treat in her mouth. We should all be so lucky to pass that way.

There are pills that can help with the incontinence. My SIL is a vet tech and she said that as long as the dog is still happy and has a decent quality of life, you wait. When the pain is continuous and evident and they become sad and depressed then its getting to be time.

I have a 13 year old lab that has some bladder issues and a bad leg. She's still generally happy and wags her tail. We're in the same boat as you.

My dad is a vet, and I think the advice he hives all of his clients (including me) is great. Make a list of all the things you can think of that make your pet's life happy. Going for walks, chewing bones, chasing a ball, greeting you when you get home, snuggling on the couch, eating treats, whatever it is. As you see those things go away, you know it is time. I had a scare with one of our 12 year old dogs recently. She was listless, wouldn't come greet us, wouldn't eat unless we hand fed her and then only a little. We tried antibiotics as a bit of a hail Mary, but it worked and thankfully she got better. If she hadn't, it would have been time.

So sorry you are going through this, it is so hard!!

One of the most heart wrenching times as a pet owner :-(.

My 13 year old dog had incontinence issues also and I remember the stress of trying to take him out frequently, hoping he was ok when I was at work or overnight. It's so hard to watch your pet struggle.

My dog ended up dying at home.

I noticed two things before he past:
1) he was constantly walking around looking for a hiding spot. I believe this was his instinct to leave the pack and find a private/hiding space to pass.

2) the look of love that I would always see in his eyes was gone. Like the soul just left. I just knew.

It was hard. My dog was a gift from my former fiancée who passed away in an accident a few years earlier :-(.

Wishing you comfort and peace.

I have had to put down 4 dogs in my life. The decision was made solely based on their illness and quality of their life. I never based it on inconvenience to me or cost. So as others have said, if your dog still has a good quality of life, make accommodations for her incontinence the best you can.

With out last dog, he had a slow descent into cognitive canine dysfunction (dementia), lasting a year. So we made Adjustments as we could, making people food for him, carrying him out to potty, etc. as time marched on, we realized, he didn't come to us, recognize us or have any interest in food or play, we knew it was time. His little personality had already gone.

When the little light goes out of their eyes, it is time. If suffering cannot be relieved, it is time. You sound like a great doggie mom!

I have a hard time with this, too. With my last dog it was an emergency situation and I was thankful the decision was a no brainer. I will say that urinary incontinence is common in older female dogs. We were given a med that I think was called des and it worked wonderfully for her. There are also anti inflammatory meds for the pain. I am in the camp that if the dog still has a zest for life, make them comfortable and love on them like crazy and let them live. When the twinkle is gone, it's time. Dogs are good at hiding their pain, so you have to be very in tune with them.

I would go by my vet's recommendation. Incontinence would have no bearing on my decision.

Hi Sorry to intrude but my daughter used to love our dog so much I did to but one morning she woke up and found her dog had passed away she was so sad very depressed but I think it's time that your dog goes for a long nap I feel so so bad for you I hope your dog gets better that way you don't halft to deal whith the sadness

While I am not against putting a dog down I think it should be done for the right reasons.

I don't necessarily agree with doing it because the dog is old. If the dog is not in pain and can still move on its own then why end their life.

Of course I am not in your situation. I wouldn't like cleaning dog urine all the time, but I would do it for my own dog and I would want her to live as long as she could with her family around her to help.

http://www.onegreenplanet.org/news/dog-beats-cancer-birth...

I know its not the same situation but after I saw this video I want my dog to enjoy every moment of life that's possible.

my female dog leaked urine from age 4 or 5 she was on PROIN for years.. it was not too expensive and it worked..

It is common in old lady dogs..just like it is common in old lady people..

try the drug ... might help.. you will know when it is time..