Older Kid (8 or 9) Alone in a Car in a Big Parking Lot - WWYD?

I don't really see the problem. The average eight year old is quite capable of being alone for periods of time. They are old enough to learn not to unlock the doors for a stranger, they can open a window if they are too hot, they can honk the horn if there is trouble, etc. By the age of eight kids should be doing things like going to the playground or walking to school without their parents, so why not sit in a locked vehicle an entertain themselves for a while?

Well I don't think you are being nosy by saying something to the police, but here is what I think. He is old enough to be alone in the car. I realize it is a big place, but maybe he lives around there, and his parents or whoever left him in the car were comfortable enough to leave him there, that is why I said maybe they live there. Anyway, at least they left the keys. That's the same thing I did with my boys when they were young. I wouldn't worry too much about it, since if something WOULD have happened, at least you were there to notice.

i think you handled it perfectly. you checked on the child, you alerted the officers, you didn't create a huge hysterical stink.
khairete
S.

Meh. At 8, he is old enough to roll down the window if he is too hot, or get himself a drink (if he had one...) and basically take care of himself. I know when I was that age, I usually preferred to hang out in the car and read while everyone else was grocery shopping. We had a HUGE family, so grocery shopping usually took at least an hour to two. I was perfectly content to chill out in the car the entire time. Heck, I was staying home unsupervised for up to 5 hours when I was 8! lol. I think that things like that depend on the maturity of the individual child.

The only thing I would have an issue with is the type of neighborhood you were in. If it's really that bad, I don't think I would have been willing to leave my kid alone. Of course, he was in a car that is lock-able (when I sat in the car, it was always locked so no one could just climb in...) and at his age he most likely knows how to scream and draw attention to himself (not that it would do much good in such a big parking lot...). He could have had a cell phone to use if he needed something as well.

I would have done like you, and let that officer know. Not because I think that it's wrong for an older child to be left in the car, but because the neighborhood is one where extra supervision would be beneficial.

I think it all depends on the particular 8 year old. My oldest is 5, and I don't expect that by the time he is 8 HE will be able to be left for any period of time by himself, but I do expect my middle son (3) to be more trustworthy once he is 8.

When I was 8 I was babysitting my neighbor's kids for short periods of times.

That being said, it doesn't hurt to say something to the police officer. If there's no law against it, the mom won't get in trouble. If there IS a law in place, well, she should be following the law.

I think you handled it just right. The police will know the appropriate thing to do (or not do).
:)

Would I have left MY kid, alone, like that. No way. But I have, and sometimes do leave my 2 kids in the car at the grocery store. Not the same setting as you described in your post, and my kids are older. So I say you did good, J.B.. You didn't go up to whoever the driver of the van was and start telling them what an awful parent they are or anything. You simply made mention to a couple of cops who most likely did what you suggested: kept an eye on the van.
Maybe the parent came out right after you went in. Maybe they were in the store another 45 minutes and the cops went over and spoke to the boy and STILL hung out to make sure he was ok until the parent came out.

Bringing something to the attention of the proper authorities is not a bad thing. You left it to their judgment, you didn't make any judgments. :)

It sounds like they have police protection onthe lot. That's a plus.

I might've done the same thing, but probably wouldn't have sought out a policeman if I hadn't run into one. What was the reaction of the police? Were they alarmed?

I would have minded my own business that's what I would have done. The kid was fine. There was more of a chance of something happening to that kid on the drive over there. Not the common theme on these boards but that's my opinion.

Leaving a child in a car unattended at a gas stations is far more dangerous then leaving them in a parking lot...it takes a split second for a car to go up in flames if an accident would happen...that's a lot of fuel to go up in flames

Not saying that this isn't right but I would never leave a child alone at the gas station bucked up in a car so they can't get out!

That odds are low for anything to happen in either case...

You did the right thing...a child that age might be tempted to fool with the car if the keys were left in. Also, if someone was looking to steal a car it would be easier if the keys are there. If that happened with a child in the car, who knows what kind of danger he would be in.

You checked on the child and notified the authorities...they would have taken it from there. At the very least, the parent should have been given a warning.

I think it was fortuitous that you ran into some police. I would have said something too, so they could decide if this was a safe situation.

Here, it is just too hot to leave a child in a car. So leaving it running in a parking lot, might be an option for some, but not in the situation you described. Too big of a lot and too far from the store.

I think what you did was right - make sure he was ok and tell the authorities. The kid is old enough to be able to get out of the car if it gets too hot, and if the car was locked (and stayed locked) he'd be pretty safe. It would take a real aggressive predator to force him out of the car, but he could have been easily convinced to get out on his own accord by an experienced predator.

I personally wouldn't have left my kid in the car - even at that age and in such a big place, but you should rest knowing you did the right thing.

I would have gone with my gut.

If it struck me as off or weird or something of concern I would have done what you have done...

...but if none of my senors went off I wouldn't have done anything. 8 is on the cusp of being OK in my opinion...the keys were in, windows allowing air, radio on...I bet the doors were locked and since they probably didn't want to drain their battery I bet they were running right in and out!?

I probably would not even have noticed there was someone in the car.

You did what you felt was right and that's all that should matter.

Just because there are laws about the age of a child being left at home, doesn't mean there are ANY laws about leaving children (including very young!) in the car unattended. I posted a question about this about a week and a half ago. Here in Indiana, there are NO laws about leaving youngs kids alone.

I would have handled it the same way. An 8 year old may or may not be MATURE enough do what he needs to in case of emergency. Being in a higher crime area, would make me want to check in on him, too.

I would have done the same thing. It's one thing to be at a gas station and run in and out. You KNOW you won't be in there for an hour. Huge grocery store and mall - distraction period is too high. And seriously, why not just bring him in with you. If he's mature enough to stay in the car safely, he's mature enough to shop safely.

I think you handled it fine.

under 10 no 10 and over fine.recently a woman got arrested for leaving her 12 year old in the car and i think thats just stupid

EDIT - Actually JIll F. there are laws against leaving children in cars also... in MN it is illegal to do so, but NOT illegal to leave your child at home alone. Hence my response to her, that if MA has a home alone rule... they most likely have a car rule too.
Also:
"As of 2010, 12 states have passed legislation making it illegal to leave a child alone in a car while the motor is on or off. These laws protect the health of the child, who may be exposed to excessive heat or toxic fumes if the car is left running." Apparently the ages/fines vary by state.

I'm almost certain that in MA you can't leave a child home alone until they are 11 or 12... so I can only assume you can't legally leave them in the car alone too!!

A quick in and out is a totally different story. You MOST definitely did the right thing by mentioning it to the police... keep it up!

FYI - from the Girl Scouts OF America website:
"Do you know the legal age a child can be left alone in your community?" - In most states it is 12 years of age or older, but this does vary. You can call your state's children's protective services agency (look it up online or in the telephone book) to find the answer.

You did the correct thing by alerting the police officers.
Key in the ignition:
1. If the key was in the ignition, the car could have been stolen with the child in the back. (Or the child may have been listening to a device other than the car radio.)
2. The child could have decided to take the vehicle for a spin or accidentally put the vehicle into motion.
In the vehicle with windows cracked:
How hot a day was it? Vehicles can overheat for all animals - pets and children - even with the windows cracked. http://ggweather.com/heat/
It's unclear if Massachusetts has laws on this subject other than for daycare providers. The first link says no. The second link says yes. The third link is about a MA couple that were arrested for leaving their children in a car.
http://www.lawlib.state.ma.us/subject/about/childabusefaq...
http://www.boston.com/community/moms/blogs/child_caring/2...
http://www.tomkileylaw.com/news/mass-couple-charged-for-l...
Kudos to you for checking on the child and alerting the police!
: ) MD

I don't leave my kids in the car alone for ANY period of time-even at the gas station etc. If I saw this, I would call the police. It is better to be safe than sorry. There are so many carjackings that have had kids in the back and so if I can avoid one of those, then I will. Children should be number 1 priority--no matter if it takes longer or is inconvenient.