One Child Family

Hi B.,
Just wanted you to know we are in the same boat! We have a 4yo boy. I don't think you need any advice though-- just keep up the good work! I know we may look like aliens around here, but you are in good company: A billion people in China are raising onlies too!(one-child policy)

B.

I am an only child!! We rock! Statistically speaking, we're more intelligent and more independent. However, the one thing that I will say is that we often are spoiled. Watch out for that. Some of us learn to feel that it's always our way or the highway. Don't give in to every little whim and make sure that they are grounded in reality and have to work for things. :)

We are also a one child family (5 year old boy). As others have said, as long as the child is getting to interact with other children on a regular basis, I don't see any need to worry. Our little one attended preschool and made some wonderful friends.
We just try to watch out for spoiling him. It can be so easy to do! LOL
Good luck!

I don't know a lot about only children, I was raised with my sister and brother. However, my 3 cousins lived next door and we all (6 of us) say that we have 2 real siblings but we were pretty much raised with 5 siblings. I think just because they are not your children, doesn’t mean they will not learn those important relationships and interactions.

Hi B.,

I believe in miracles, adoption or foster parenting can be a real blessing. Foster parenting might allow you to be a stay at home Mama. Foster parents receive a monthly stipend and the children’s medical and dental needs are covered. The downside is getting attached and they have to leave. Although some foster parents may end up adopting their foster child. If there is any interest take a look at this website.

<hwcws.cahwnet.gov/ContactUs/FosterCare.asp>

If neither adoption or foster parenting appeal to you, consider opening a day care in your home for a few children, then you could still stay home with your daughter and she would have playmates.

All the best to your family

Your daughter has cousins which makes a huge difference. I'm an only and didn't have any cousins until I was 12 (a little late). Encourage lots of interaction with the cousins. This will help her develop the kind of relationships that I missed out on. At family functions do a kids table and let them be kids. I grew up way too fast b/c all my interactions were with adults so I tended to act like an adult (8 year olds shouldn’t talk politics). We moved a lot b/c of my dad’s job so I never developed strong friendships. To this day I have trouble relating to much of my family b/c I still feel like the odd man out.

My parents were adamant about not letting me be spoiled. I am so glad too b/c my best friend is also an only and is completely spoiled and has no clue that she is.

My parents tried very hard to have a second baby but it never happened, to this day I wish they would have adopted. I’m not saying that’s the right choice for you and your family, it’s just my perspective on my own life.

Hi B.,
We have an only child (a 5yo boy). The best advice I ever received was to ask myself, "How would I handle this situation if I had six kids?" I also spoke to a friend who is an only child herself and who is completely grounded and just a wonderful person about my concerns (btw, I know several adults who were only children, and I never would have known based on their personalities or behavior). She said that, often times, any issue an only child has gets blamed on the child being an only child. The same behavior in a child with siblings would be attributed to something else. She also said that she grew up around a lot of cousins and had to learn to share, etc., at an early age. We sent our son to preschool at a little over 2yo, which I think really helped in many areas such as taking turns, not being the center of the universe, etc. About having just one kid (because I have health issues): I like to think that we hit the jackpot the first time :) I feel really guilty sometimes when my son has asked us to give him a brother or sister, but these requests seem to come in brief phases. I hope some of this helps!
K.

Hi, I went through invetro and have a beautiful 4 year old boy. He will probably be our only child. We are lucky he has cousins his own age to play with. He soends the night with cousins. We make sure he has others his own age to play with, and have emphasized since day one sharing, and manners. He loves to share and is now in his second year at a great preschool. As long as you have others her age and make sure she understands sharing you will have a very well rounded and happy child. A.