Oppositional Defiant Disorder in Child

Updated on November 17, 2012
L.K. asks from Lafayette, CA
9 answers

For those of you who have children with ODD, what were the symptoms that caused you to seek help? Who diagnosed it and was your child actually tested? What type of treatment have they received? At what age was your child diagnosed?

Thanks for the info.

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J.S.

answers from Hartford on

I don't have much time to post right now, so my apologies, and I'm in an enormous amount of pain tonight to boot, so I'm going to try to keep this short.

ODD is more a personality trait than disorder, first off. It's very much what it sounds like... oppositional and defiant to authority. It does present a bit differently in girls than in boys, though. Typically, it's the child that doesn't believe rules apply to them. They believe that they're equal in authority to adults and don't believe that they have to obey ANY adult. Compliance occurs when it suits them and serves them. Sometimes, they'll appear to comply but will otherwise control the situation in other ways. Some ODD children, particularly boys, can become violent in their outward disobedience to authority. Girls can be more subtle, although not always.

These children often seem "fresh" and will look for the loopholes in rules, to the point where you have to address every possible scenario when creating rules. Even if it means making rules up as you go. Very often, you may have to present a situation that is required in a way that makes it apparent "what's in it for me" for the ODD child. They also like to think that their actions are made because it's their choice, so how to present options can be tricky.

It's very rare for ODD to present by itself. It's usually a comorbid diagnosis along with a neurological disorder such as ADHD, ADD, Autism Spectrum Disorder, BiPolar Disorder, Schizophrenia, Mood Disorder, or other neurological disorder.

It can be diagnosed by a pediatric psychiatrist or developmental-behavioral pediatrician or a pediatric neurologist.

It's very, very, very frustrating parenting a child with ODD. They're not like this just sometimes and it doesn't kick in at a certain age. They're like this as soon as they're old enough to follow directions (or realize that they have the ability to refuse) and it's not a discipline issue. Discipline can be consistent and authoritative and doesn't improve the situation. It still must be done, of course, but it's a constant battle.

It's really a personality trait that will serve these children well when it comes time for them to have a career. They're tenacious and driven and will the heads of corporations and businesses. These types of people run the world.

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R.B.

answers from La Crosse on

My son was diagnosed with it at the age of 12.
It first was mentioned by his therapist he was seeing. She referred him to a behavior specialist. After talking to my son a few times and talking to him about when he "blows up". Taking that and the notes from the therapist he said there wasn't enough to go on.

We then per the therapist advice we started video tapping him when we would see the signs of him starting to escalate and through the "fit" and when he came down from it. After the specialist watched how he acted my son was diagnosed with ODD.

When my son esculated you could actually see the difference in his eyes. We knew when he was in control and when he wasn't. There was a stare about him that his eyes went right through you with out looking at you or even comprehending its even you. It may sound weird to those who have never seen it.. but he was not himself when he would go into the episodes of rage.

My son had no control of his anger. It wasn't about not wanting to listen or defying authority on purpose... he honestly had no control over it. We were able to pick up on what his "triggers" were and we worked with those. He also was in therapy for another year until we were able to get to the root of where it was coming from. We were also given tools on how to help him and us when he was in one of his lovely moments. I'm not going to lye, it was by far the hardest times of my son's life dealing with it! When he would hit the highest point of his rage he would get physically aggressive. But like I said, we were able to get help with the therapist and get to the bottom of it and I have a completely different child now than I did at that point of his life. So there is hope that they can get past it.

Good luck, I hope you're able to find the answers your looking for!

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T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

I'll be brief because I'm in a rush.
None of my kids have it, but I have worked kids that have it.
True ODD has nothing to do with discipline or being "spirited."
Even kids who lack discipline at home know how to behave at school, and in other places where there are consequences for their behavior.
ODD kids just aren't wired the same. They don't respond to punishment and reward the same way "regular" kids do.
Ask your pediatrician for a referral to a child psychologist for a full evaluation, if you are suspecting ODD.

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A.J.

answers from Williamsport on

I have seen nothing on the ODD list that resembles a medical issue. It's the most controversial "disorder" because the "symptoms" can all be caused by lack of discipline. Every single last one. A naturally difficult or spirited child without adequate discipline will seem to have ODD to the letter of the list. Two of my kids (ESPECIALLY My third) would seem to have it if not for the very firm and consistent discipline they received and the fact they know they will never get away with such behavior going forward. If your child lives in a loving and positive home with VERY clear rules and VERY firm discipline for oppositional and defiant behavior, as in immediate and FIRM consequences EVERY TIME the the defiance starts, and this has been absolutely consistent since the age of ONE year old (two tops), and still persists by age 4-ish....definitely seek a medical reason why the child cannot comprehend discipline or master self-control. Maybe there is another medical problem in conjunction with this. Otherwise, be very skeptical of this label. It's probably just a very spirited child whose structure is not tough enough. This is a "disorder" that simply doesn't exist in many countries and cultures with discipline customs that are firmer than here in America post 1980's parenting trends. I've actually never met a child who ISN'T naturally oppositional and defiant as of age 2 or 3 if it's not handled. Again, if your child is not responding to firm and consistent discipline in a loving home, see a doctor, something else is very wrong.

If you are constantly disciplining, yelling, getting angry, etc, you need to calm down, get more positive in general AND keep a consistent firm discipline technique used after ONE WARNING, not jump all around and lump anger into the mix. I would look at books about spirited kids, and the book Back to Basics Discipline by Janet Campbell Matson is excellent if your child is under five. If your child is older I would look into teen help sources.

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

My foster daughter was diagnosed with ODD when she was 8. She came to live with me at 7. And a grandson carried that diagnosis for awhile too. Both children overcame the disorder with a change in discipline techniques.

The obvious symptom is that the child refuses to obey. He's hostile and unable to accept responsibility for his actions. It doesn't matter what is asked of them. In fact, they may actually like to do what you asked but they refuse just on principal. They're mad at the world and you because you're in it sort of feeling.

What is important to realize is that ODD is not something to be cured. It is to be managed and eventually it goes away. It can be managed with the right sort of treatment which may include medication depending on why the child has adopted that sort of behavior. My daughter came from a very abusive home and had been in 5 foster homes prior to coming to live with me. It's no wonder she didn't want to co-operate with me. She did fine at school and with others with whom she didn't have an attachment issue. She was seen by a child psychiatrist provided by CSD because of my inability to deal with her tantrums.

My foster daughter was treated with counseling for both of us. Medication was not available back then.

My grandson is autistic. His brain doesn't process life in the usual way. He needed a different approach in parenting. He was evaluated by the school district initially because of learning disabilities. A social worker came to their home and worked with my daughter and him to learn different ways of parenting him.

He was later diagnosed with ODD by his developmental pediatrician when he was unable to get along in school. He iwas first put on medication for ADHD and was in special ed in a therapeutic school and has overcome his ODD for the most part. His parents have become more consistent in discipline. He is sent to his room when he misbehaves, including when he refuses to do something. He is a strong willed child and sometimes difficult to manage but a change in parenting focus has helped everyone tremendously.

The way that both children started in being assessed for ODD was thru the pediatrician. The pediatrician is able to discern if the oppositional behavior is more intense than that ordinarily seen in the average child.

It's unlikely that the only thing going on is the child's oppositional behavior if that is decided as a possibility. And, it's quite possible that their oppositional behavior is not ODD. He may be oppositional because his needs are not being met. Some children are just more difficult to parent than others and sometimes our expectations are not realistic when applied to some children. A sort of personality conflict situation. And discipline techniques work differently for different children.

The pediatrician first tested my grandson for ADD/ADHD at 3. That in it's self causes a child to be unable to focus and behave. His mother didn't want to use medication but eventually did accept it. He was in special ed and continued to have numerous difficulties. He was seen by several specialists but eventually went to a developmental pediatrician who put together all of his behaviors and care.

My grandson has a lot going on with him. He doesn't seem to be so oppositional most of the time but still has those moments. He's 9.

In summary, a child may be oppositional for a variety of reasons. It's unlikely that the first diagnosis will be ODD. Finding the reasons for the behavior are part of the process. Start with a pediatrician. Ask if a referral to a developmental pediatrician would be in order. After my experience with my grandson I highly recommend starting with the developmental pediatrician if the pediatrician sees the possibility of developmental issues. The developmental pediatrician will be a sort of case manager as your child receives evaluation and treatment with other specialists.

There are not actual tests for ODD. It is diagnosed based on the child's behavior. A diagnosis includes testing and observation of any possible reasons for the behavior. Most testing, is verbal and observational, is administered by specialists in whatever area the child is having difficulty. For example, if the child refuses to do school work it may be because he's unable to focus and that would be looked at first.

Later: What I'm trying to say is that just because a child disobeys does not mean he has ODD and that the process of making that diagnosis first involves looking at several different issues from what sort of parenting he's receiving to what other conditions may be affecting his behavior. There are, of course, children who have only ODD but they are in the minority. First take a look at the whole picture before deciding your child has ODD.

Here is a web site with information that fits with my experience. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0002504/

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J.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

My nephew has been diagnosed with ADHD (pretty severe) and also ODD, and he is on the Autism Spectrum.

He was diagnosed at age 6 prior to starting Kindergarten. He was in the special ed preschool provided by the public school system, and they recommended formal testing and diagnosis.

His symptoms began in infancy - he was extremely fussy and a very "high needs" baby. He has always been a tantrum prone child, had several developmental delays, and hard to control.

His parents are fantastic. His mom runs a wonderful in-home daycare (she started so that she could be home with him full time - as he did not thrive at all in daycare). They are extremely consistent, and his problems would not be solved with better parenting. It is a medical problem, in my opinion all his diagnoses are connected.

His treatment has been med's to help with his ADHD (he would not be able to participate in K without it). He is in family therapy to help with the ODD and they are starting some work with his Autism, but it's not severe and lower on their list of things to treat (although I'm sure the therapy helps with all of it).

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C.V.

answers from Columbia on

My ex's son was diagnosed with ODD at age 6, ADHD at age 8 and Asperger's at age 10.

He had full behavioral health and intelligence evaluations at each point to ensure that he did not have learning disabilities. He's extremely smart. He was put on meds for the ADHD, which helps with some ODD and Aspie symptoms, but not all.

If this is your child, please get him help immediately. And keep getting help. It's not something that will resolve itself with a pill...he'll need intensive therapy to learn coping mechanisms and proper problem solving techniques.

To put it mildly, I couldn't stand my ex's son. His psychological disorders cause him to act like a complete A-hole, and his father refused to take him to therapy. I am certain that his mouth is going to get his butt kicked throughout his entire life, and will cause him to lose jobs and other opportunities. It's sad, really.

Best of luck.

C. Lee

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E.B.

answers from Seattle on

My youngest has his laundry list of abbrev. diagnose's.

ODD is one of the hardest and scariest for me personally.

I have had him CLIMB the fridge to get to the knife block in cupboard above it....he has then taken the knife at me. This has slowly become less appealing to him because he understand's there are major consequences for the behavior. The thing that killed me.....He would sometimes do it out of rage....but normally he started with a cool temper that went bad when I would catch him in the act.

He has given me black eyes...almost broken my jaw. Bit, scratched, kicked and punch me.

Diaper changes(he is four still in pull ups because of other issues)for along time took 2 people. one to hold him down. one to do the changing. Reasoning being he would kick scream and get violent. The shoe'd foot to the under side of my chin was the almost broken jaw. I could not chew for almost a week..when I tried it was incredibly painful.

He was seen at Seattles Autism clinic to get evaluated for autism. They were able to tentatively diagnose him with the ADHD, ODD and PDD, knowing he has SPD for sure diagnosed at 2 years. It is tentatively because they can not fully diagnose anything off the spectrum. He is to go see a child psych for a full work up.

His Pedia. placed him on a low dose medication galled Gaufusine (spelling). I have slowly started taking him off the medication...and he has corrected alot of his violent outburst's. I think the medication calmed him down enough that we were able to help him coupe with his feelings.

If I see a spike in the behavior again we will start over.

for now we have the worst time when he is tired, hungry, bored or overwhelmed. All happen often...but the battle is never more then a temper-tantrum.

I think alot of times his ODD in public gets seen as just a bratty unruly Child. To the point I have thought about making him a small sign for out in public that states...''Dont mind me, I am just a very excited and curiously active kid...please dont judge I am trying my best'' .....

I have had strangers come up to me and be horribly rude...going ''You better get control of that one''...''Wow...you cant seem to get him under your thumb''.....It is maddening and I very politely rage back at them with a smile...''Yeah, I do actually, this is him behaving....He is Autistic, you commenting actually makes things worse, so thank you''...I have had enough from judgmental people.

My son started showing signs of issues by his second birthday. IT started as a sensory/speech delay. And has morphed. Early intervention and lots of love have been the biggest tools to keep the family sane.

It has taken alot for friends and family to get used to how he can be.

I have personal , chronic health issues which make it impossible for me to handle him alone anymore. So i have two care taker's(two of my best friends on this planet!!). One took a metal pole flung across the house. The other took a broom handle to the gut while trying to dress.

I would start by talking to the child's Doctor. They will know which direction to send you.

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J.S.

answers from San Francisco on

My understanding is that they can't receive the official diagnosis of ODD till they're 8 years old. That said, early intervention is everything and if a child is showing signs of it, attend to it by:
1) putting a lot of time into connecting and building your relationship w/ the child( this is THE #1 way to correct the direction they're headed),
2) get him into a peer social/emotional learning focused group- can pay privately or go through the school counselor for a referral).
3) Model respectful loving calm communication in the home.
It's a lot of work, but totally worth it to avoid a kid that might go on to develop Conduct Disorder and/or Antisocial Personality Disorder.

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