I need any help i can get, and please don't say "it is just a phase"...... Our son, who is five years of age, seems to be telling "story" after "story". Luckily, some are so outlandish that we can difarentiate between the "whopers" and the "fibbs".
Can anyone give me some help? Please???????
Thank you all very much. i am working one step at a time to not de-rail his imagination. i think it took me asking you for help that brought me to realize that he doesn't "fib" as much as he tells "imaginative" stories. currently we are working on writing a book of all his great ideas and plans that he thinks up, i write (he is 5) and he will illustrate! This has also put an educational angel on it too. thank you, more to come i'm sure!
I hope it's just a phase!!! My 5 yo son is going thru it too!!! It's driving me nuts. Hopefully they get over it soon
We play a game in our house about what are truth and waht are lies...I will tell my sons he is wearing a green shirt when it is really red and then I ask him is that a lie or the truth. I do that with about ten different silly things. But once I did some tough love andI told my son he could not have something that I had previously told him that he could not have...just at the peak of his excitement I told him that I just lied and he wa snot getting it. The little trick only lasted a few moments but had a big impact on him. I told him that people's feelings can get hurt when you tell lies and that is why mommy and daddy do not like it when he lies. As far as the tall tales we just act really surprised when out little ones do that "Today at camp I saw a real dragon that breathed fire etc... or I caught a shark when I was fishing" Those we just play the game for a little bit and then might say.. wow ar eyou tricking. teasing me or did you really catch a shark and then they will usually fess up that they are pretending or it is a story. But when it is important we tell them I need to ask you something and I want to think about it for a few minutes and tell me the TRUTH. I remind them that I already know the truth but I need to hear it from them. We have a 50 cent fine in our house for lying...with three kids we get alot of the "He did it no he did it" kind of lies and when we figure out the actual culprit the lier has to take 5o cents out of thier piggy bank and pay to the other
Hi K. - I hate to tell you what you don't want to hear, but.... it's a phase! And how you handle that phase will have bearing on who he is/continues to be.
I saw, don't make a big deal about it.
You know, my sister married a man that we later found out had concocted his WHOLE LIFE - none of it was true (ok, truth be told, we all knew something was up, but she was so blinded that she just rationalized and excused it all... And, of course, he hated US!)
Anyway, they split up, he got the message, they're back together and now it's become sort of a running joke - he's say, do you want to hear a made up story about_________? ( whatever). And he'll weave a yarn that has us on the edge of our seat.
So what if you just ask him - is this a made up story? Let's start over with the real story (if you need to know the real story - I don't know what kind of stories he's telling...)
Somehow gently prod him into telling the real truth.
The age of 6 is all about power and control. It seems that this is just how he is getting his....
And on the other hand, what a wonderful imagination! Why don't you start writing some of his stories down?? How fun! Find a healthy outlet for his outlandish imagination and go for it...
I, too, am going through it. My son started it a while ago, though. He would tell me his entire preschool class would go over to one of the other students houses during school
Thanks for asking the question. Some great responses to try.
Our daughter, almost five years old, also tells fibs sometimes. If it's a really fantastical story, we laugh and say lightheartedly, "Oh, that's a tall tale." If it's something more serious, we remind her that she needs to tell us the truth, that even if WE (her parents) don't know the truth, God and Santa know, and lies make God and Santa very, very sad. She is aware of Santa's list, and the implications of having "tells lies" on her own list. The Santa thing works all year long, not just around Christmastime. Obviously this approach will not work if God and/or Christmas are not part of your family life. It's just what works for us! Good luck.
Hi,
I think it might be helpful to separate the imaginative stories from the lies. When presented with a whopper not related to something you needed info about, you might acknowledge the great ideas within, by saying "Wow, that's a great story. Tell me more, I love the way you put new ideas together! That's even better than yesterday's story." But when presented with a lie, it is helpful to be quietly direct, look into his eyes and seriously tell him that unlike an imaginative story, you are looking for true information, and expect him to tell you exactly what is true, now. Good luck!
kids at that age are exploring their creativity and imaginations. that being said, it's still not okay to lie, especially to Mama.
i used to tease my kids when they would "tell stories", and encourage it until it became about a monster big enough to eat the house, or something equally outlandish -- then we would all laugh about it.
as long as i could say to them "ok, this is really important, adn i need to know the exact truth right now" and they would comply, so i didn't worry too much about the 'stories'
hope this helps
