Outing Advice for Toddler

My son also has this problem, especially when he feels/fears that he will be confined. The two things we've done that work is bringing a stroller but NOT strapping him in. Just feeling like he can get in and out as he wants helps. If he's too in and out, he has to be strapped in for a few minutes (sort of like a time out). We talk a lot about the consequences of him running away and how Mommy will be scared and sad. If he runs off he gets one warning and is strapped in the stroller for a few min. If he runs of a second time we go home (or go to the car where he has to sit in his carseat) for a longer time out. It was rough for the first few outing to have to always be on top of him and constantly reminding him of consequences or taking time outs (I only give one warning because he will test limits like crazy and this is a safety issue). We've been doing this a while and he is MUCH better now! He might still move away from us, but always comes back now. This might be a tough outing for you, but it should still be fun. Just be consistent and it will get better! Good luck!

May sound mean but buy one of those kid leashes. he will need to be told that needs to be in the stroller or have the leash on because Mommy does not want to lose him or anything to happen to him. it is normal for him at his age to not listen or run away. my son is 26 months old and does not like being in the stroller for a long time. i am almost at the point of the leash myself. you can buy them at target for under $20.

Unfortunately you need to resolve this problem before taking him somewhere that would be unsafe. My son gets tempted to do the same thing, and he is not perfect - but if you know this is going to be a problem - then I would hesitate to put him in a situation that is dangerous.

Keeping him in the stroller is the safest option... bring toys or snacks or "games" for him to play with. Are you going to the fair for his benefit or your benefit? If you're going because you like the fair then you should probably get a babysitter because you're not going to have a good time if he doesn't behave. Or if you're going to the fair for his benefit then don't expect to do anything adult like - plan to stay in the barn with the animals or hanging out at the kid rides.

Like I said - this is a problem that you should resolve before you go. There is nothing magic that you can do to make him be good "just this one time." He needs to learn to listen every time.

Good luck!

I would try a big structured backpack--one with a metal frame, like for hiking. That might seem fun and he would have a good view of the fair. Otherwise, just stick to areas where he can run around safely, and do the activities he'll like--petting the animals, etc. You're not just dragging him along so he'll endure the day, you want him to enjoy it, too, and he's not an adult, so you have to structure the day so that it's good for him, just as he is right now. I disagree with others who say you should strap him into a stroller no matter how he protests. Why? He's 2.5--he's supposed to be running off and not listening! He literally CAN'T help himself. Just enjoy him.

My daughter is 3 & has the same issues. I grew up in Bloomsburg & would love to take her to the fair, but I won't risk it until she's older. If you really want to go, take her on one of the weekdays when it's less crowded - like Monday or whenever Senior Citizen Day is. Maybe that would cut down on the stress level. Good luck & have some Gross's French Fries for me!

Buy a harness with a leash attached. It is way too dangerous to have him run off in a crowd. Make sure he knows that"MOM" is on the leash. That way you are both tied up, and it'll feel better. :-)

i bought a leash for disney world for my three year old and it worked.
T.

Whenever we go out in public, we review our rules with the kids. We have one that they call the "parking lot and public" rule. If we are in a parking lot or out in public they must hold someone's hand. However, they are 4 and 5 and are better able to control themselves. In my opinion, it is going to be hard for a compulsive 2 1/2 year old to comply to rules like that. If you really think the stoller is not an option, maybe consider a harness. I used one a few times when I was by myslef, wasn't able to use a stroller and I needed to have control of my infant daughter (who was in a carrier) and my son who was an active toddler. It worked well for us.

You may want to consider getting a children's harness. They make some adorable ones that look like little backpacks--some even that look like little animals. Best of luck to you!

Hi W., Before heading out of town for an outing like this, I'd try to practice with him first at stores and then, if possible, at a carnival or amusement park closer to home so he gets used to waiting in line, etc.. It would be awful for your family to be so far from home if you know that he's not able to handle this kind of situation. If it doesn't work close to home then you'll all be happier finding another way to spend a fun family day together. Also, when you are practicing, don't give him any extra tries to behave. If you've told him not to run away from you, the first time he does it scoop him up and take him back to the car and back home. He's testing you but this is a battle you'll win. Good luck!

I used the "leash". We went someplace where there was no stroller access. I got some comments but its nobodys businnes. I had my 5 month old in a front carrier and I was worried that if I had to chase my toddler I'd fall and crush the baby. It worked out well.

Hi there,

I recommend getting one of those back packs with the connected leash. It sounds more barbaric than what it really is! I got one for my daughter for similar circumstances. Ours is a monkey back pack that she wears; the monkey's tail can then be clipped on and used as the leash part. It's cute.

Good luck!

Hi W.!

I suggest taking the stroller with snacks and toys he can play with while in it. Discuss rules and consequences in very simple terms. You don't have to actually LEAVE the town, but I am sure you could do a time out in the car if you had to. That used to work wonders for me. Sometimes I would strap the boys in their carseats, (have the car running with a/c if it was hot) and stand outside until the time was up. Good luck to you!

Hi, W.,

You have good advice from other mom's.

I would suggest you get a harness and take your stroller.

Good luck. Start training or disciplining now so when he
gets older you won't continue to have this kind of behavior.

D.

I also recommend the monkey or puppy backpack from walmart for less than $20 and everywhere I take my daughter in it I get the nicest comments on how cute it is, what a great idea it is and how safe and smart it is I have never once had anyone make a rude comment about it but even if someone does at least your child is safe and not in jeopardy of being stolen or hurt. Any questions email me :)

____@____.com

K.

Hi, W. - I, too, am a SAHM to a 2 1/2-yr old daughter who loves to run off sometimes and not listen to us, especially in busy/crowded places! First of all, there's no "controlling" what kids will and won't do, all we can do is just manage it as best as possible, especially since kids will just go ahead and do things, anyway. Based on what you've written, it sounds like you'd spend your WHOLE time at the Fair just running after your son, which leaves almost NO enjoyment for you OR him. To me, facing something like that isn't even worth the trip. If I were you, I'd wait until next year....however, if you DO still want to go, the best thing I could recommend is to just talk to him and tell him what you expect of him (listen to Mommy when I ask you to so we can have fun at the fair). Maybe if the fair's not too crowded in a particular area, have him run off steam where he's not in danger (away from food stations, rides, games, restrooms, etc.). Find out if the fair's outside/inside by calling ahead of time, and if U have 2 take the plunge and keep him in the stroller for safety and hear him scream, then that's up to you. Bring his favorite toys/books in a little backpack so that he's distracted. He might even surprise you and want to try new things (games, rides for toddlers, etc.), so be open to that, too.

Now that we have a 3-month-old daughter, I'm realizing that certain things just aren't worth the hassle of driving there, paying for parking/admission, and having 2 leave just because our older daughter's having a meltdown, not cooperating, etc...no matter what we do, where we go, etc., certain venues are just not worth the headaches and exhaustion of just trying to have a fun family outing.

Good luck to you, sorry if I came off judgmental in my advice, just trying to help :)

Hi W.,

First I would advise that you start talking to your son now and explain in as much simple detail what is coming and your expectations of him. At this age children learn by repetition so the more you talk about what you want him to do, the more it will sink in. They are little sponges and he may surprise you with what he can remember, they are so eager to please. I would also let him know that you will be bringing the stroller as a consequence if he makes the wrong choice and does not listen. I have seen great success with the child harnesses that look like an animal backpack. http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=4837494
kids love to wear them and they do not realize it is a control mechanisms. What ever the situation they are never to young to communicate with, let them rise to the challenge by being informed. Perhaps let him know that if he listens and stays with you, that he will receive a "surprise", when your trip is over. Every child is different so do what works best for you.
Good Luck

My son is four now and was the same way when he was two (they do grow out of it). I've learned to talk to him about things ahead of time. In the days leading up to the fair I would tell him that we're going somewhere fun that has a lot of people and that he absolutely can't run away from Mommy and Daddy. Maybe if you bring the stroller, you could tell him that the stroller will stay in the car but if he doesn't listen he'll have to sit in it. I would tell him this every day and on the car ride to the fair. And then when you're there the second he starts to run, stop him, squat down in front of him and remind him that he can't run away and if he does he'll have to go in the stroller. That's at least how I would handle it. It's exhausting, but they learn sooner or later.

Once my son was around 3 1/2 I started talking to him about how sometimes kids get lost and lose their parents when they're in public, so now it's something he's aware of and he definitely doesn't want it to happen, so he's better about staying with us.

I hope you enjoy the fair!

Hi W.~

Most importantly, it seems that your son needs to learn that the behavior of running off is not acceptable and very dangerous. There must be a consequence for this. I think it's a good idea to take a stroller in the event that he does run off. Put him in the stroller for a period of time, no questions, no reservations, regardless of his protests. He needs to learn that that behavior is unacceptable. Until then, you will never have a peaceful outing with him.

In the meantine, though, I have three suggestions for keeping him safe while he is out of the stroller, enjoying the fair.

First, we have the Mommy I'm Here Child Locator. http://www.mommyimhere.com/
It's a little plastic teddy bear that the child wears, and you carry a key chain activator, and if the child wanders out of sight, you can press the activator, and the bear emits a loud, high pitched beeping sound, that helps you locate the child. Additionally, God forbid someone has grabbed the child, the beeping would call attention to them and hopefully stop them from proceeding. Obviously, this isn't to be used as a substitute for keeping a constant eye on the child, but it does give you a sense of peace in the terrifying event that he does get out of your sight in a crowded area. We have one and have never had to use it, but it's there for our peace of mind. I would just suggest familiarizing you son with the sound it makes, because it's loud, and tell him what it means and why he is wearing it. The website has a lot of information about it, and where you can buy it.

Secondly, we also have SafetyTats.
http://www.safetytat.com/
These are tattoos that you can buy that have "IF LOST, PLEASE CALL" and your phone number printed on them. You can buy them pre-printed, or ones that you can write on with a special pen. They also have tattoos for severe allergies, or medical conditions, so if your child is lost, it gives people information to help them. We also have these and love them. We have the "IF LOST" ones, and peanut allergy ones.

Lastly, I know many people frown on the use of child leashes, but that is an option. They do have the animal backpack-style ones that the kids tend to like, but that is a personal decision, whether you would use one or not. Personally, I wouldn't use one for an everyday trip to the park or mall, but if in a large, crowded area, and the child is prone to running off, it may be worth considering. I used one with my child a couple times when he was a toddler. You will get some looks, but it's up to you how you feel about it.

Best of luck to you. Hope some of this info helps!

Hi W.,
I deal with the same thing with my son (3 next month). He hates being in the stroller or the shopping cart. I let him know that he can walk, but he has to stay with mommy or he is in the cart/stroller. The first few times, he tested it and was in the cart right away. Yesterday, we went to 6 different stores and he was never in the cart. I kept repeating the rule before each store and about every 15 minutes. I am not one to "leash" my child. This seems to be working well. If he is really good, I will also buy him a new toy like a matchbox car or some goldfish.
Good luck
L.

I say take the stroller and strap him in it, no questions asked, no fits. There will be a crowd and so much for him to see he may just cooperate for you. It's the safest place for him and that's what I would do, whether he likes it or not.

You want to be able to enjoy yourself and chasing him around is nothing but a nightmare.

Good luck.