Overprotective Daddy?? Help!

My 2 year old fell off a chair today and hit her head on the tile...I was three feet from her. What do you do? :-)

I am a stay at home mom of three (5yrs, 3yrs and 11 mo) and I have to say, my kids are constantly falling down and getting bruises and scrapes. It is just a part of being a toddler. I would say I would be concerned if they were not scraped because that would mean they were being kept in a play pen all day and not allowed to play. Good luck with "Daddy". My husband is the same way, especially with the girls. I guess you just have to accept that is part of being a good Daddy :).

I am a SAHMommy and man do my little girls fall, tumble, cartwheel down the strairs and get cuts and bruises everywhere. It's part of being a tot and in general a child. If I got mad every time my littles hurt themselves I would be mad all the time.
Stuck with the in-home daycare those are a hard to find and she is better off then at a day care center that has 15-20 tots in a room....
Let your husband know she doesn't just cuts and bruises at the day care. Make it a point to say oh Jane fell today outside and she cut her leg. Does he get mad at you b/c she falls or himself for that matter.
Children are chldren. Cuts and bruises are part of childhood.
Good Luck....

I have had my kids in a home daycare all of their lives. I love home daycares. Usually in a home daycare, the owner/sitter has fewer children and can spend more time watching the kids. I love that. My four year old is as big a klutz as her mommy (I mean I can trip on a line!!! And so does she!!) When the sitter tells me that she fell or whatever she did, I know that even though she got hurt, she is very well cared for and watched closely. I don't think that it is something that you or your husband should worry about. Kids fall. Kids get hurt. Other kids do things to your kids. Maybe your daughter has done something to another kid. Kids are kids. Neither of y'all are bad parents. Kids get bumps and bruises and no one is going to think you are abusing your daughter. I feel the way you do that the only other option would be another home daycare, but I really don't think that you really need to get her into another place. I hope this eases you.

A few times in over a year does not appear to be excessive, but I do understand your husband's frustrations! Had your daughter ever had an accident while in the care of you or your husband? Probably, and there aren't any other children around....I have paid perfect attention to my girl at times when she has bumped or bruised herself. I think you are right wanting to keep her there! It is so hard to find a good place that you trust! Maybe you and your husband could talk to a few other parents that take their child to the same lady...if there are no concerns there then they are probably just accidents. Hopefully that will give him piece of mind and not want to move her!

My son is 4 and we've gone a year without a black eye. From the time he could walk at 7 months until he was 3 he almost always had a black eye. Now he always has bruises, somewhere and anywhere! I know I have a rough and tumbly (as tigger would say it) boy but I don't know of any other children that aren't getting scrapes or bruises, well, except those children that are always being held or kept in their highchairs.

Hello,

I am a stay at home mom with two boys ages 2 and 4. It seems like every day of their lives I am asking what a scratch or bite is. I am with them most of the time, but somehow they get into things.. they don't cry usually, so I just know by a mark. The do go to preschool 2 days a week, so some things could happen there.. but my 4 year old is a real tattle-tale and would tell me if someone was hurting him or his teacher wouldn't help him, etc.

I think men are overprotective of their girls no matter if they are 2 months or 30. I think it is so cute, and whenever I see a man tear up over something regarding his daughter.. usually good things, it really gets me. My dad and I were never really that close, and I am really jealous of the typical dad/daughter relationships out there.

I would tell him that your very knowledgable friends at Mamasource said it is completly normal. :) If she was coming home with unexplained major cuts or huge bruises that is one thing, but everything you mentioned is so normal.

I think at your daughters age it is great she is around other kids. My son started mothers day out about the same time.. and although I really thought it was too soon, he has helped his social skills so much.

Good luck!!

My son stayed at home with me and my husband and was never around any other children and he still got hurt. I think what he is angry about is he has no control over her getting hurt and the only thing he does have control over is where she goes. But hes going to find out where ever you move her she will still get hurt there heads are still to big for their bodies and they dont have good balance she will still get hurt and with her being in any group with kids her age there is always a biter just think about if she ends up being the biter because shes frustraded about being moved around to diffrent places and diffrent caregivers. It sounds like she has a stable caregiver and thats what she needs most.

Well Steph F said it best. It sounds like you have a great daycare don't change it!!!

its just him being over protective. daddys tend to be more over protective of thier daughters then their sons while we are protective of our sons.

Well, it is a good thing that he is ocncerned but these type of thigns happen no matter where your child is kept. You can not protect your kid from LIFE. All three of my daughters went to the same day care over the years wich I was VERY satified with. Over the years...there were bumps & bruises, scrapes & scratches, bites received & bites given and even unexpected hair cuts given & received. ALL of my girls (16, 13 & 10)are fine.
They loved it there & I could not have asked for a more careing setting for them to spend their time away from me when I had to work. My ex hubby even takes his other daughters there. When my girls go with their Dad or step Mom to pick up their sisters...they can't wait to go in & say hi to all of their old day care teachers.
If your daughter enjoys being there & it is a loving environmnet...I wouldn't change her to somewhere else. Kids will let you know if they are not doing well either by words or actions. You'll know.

My daughter was bitten 3 times in the same month (all near the eye) and the very next day after she was bitten came home with a scratch right under her eye. She was about the same age as your daughter. We were going to pull her out of the daycare. But I called another one and that one said that it isn't uncommon to have 8 to 15 bites in one month in the classroom. Since then, I found out one of the bites was from her best friend. And they are still best friends. These kids aren't being mean. They just don't know any better. Don't forget that at this age, they haven't been walking very long, so falling is just as natural as walking. I would NOT move her. Go with your gut feeling. It's usually right.

Hi C.,

Gosh, kids will be kids. I have 4. They are 25, 20, 5 and 6!.... Things like these accidents are going to happen anywhere you take your daughter to. In a way that is good that your husband got upset when he saw your daughters "bo bo's! Some dads don't even notice things like that. When mine were small they frequently had bruises on their little faces from the coffee table, falling on toys, hitting each other with matchbox cars, etc. Before you move her you should weigh the positive and negatives about the situation. It is very hard to find a sitter that you can trust and your child is happy with, even if they are a licensed daycare. Since she has been there so long she must like it there and you must trust this provider! hts!

Daddy+Daughter=OVER PROTECTION!!!

It happens. Most dad's see their son's as a "TOUGH". They can take the cuts and bruises and keep going cause they are tough. LOL. What they don't understand is that girls are the same way. At that age they don't see a real difference between tough boys and weak girls. Tell him that what you are going thru is natural. Small cuts and bruises are a fact of life. My 7 yr old took a dive one day and hit his head on the coffee table when he was 4. He ended up needing 2 stitches by the end of it. While I am having a panic attack he thinks it's cool. He came home and ran inside to show daddy them. If nothing else on his next day off, go out and do something and leave your daughter with him all day ALONE! LOL He'll figure it out REAL FAST.

FTR I don't trust daycare's that have 15-20 kids in one room with only 1 teacher.

A friend of mine was a daycare teacher. One of the kids was extremely violent. My friend tried seperating this child from the other kids and talking to the parent. Sadly the parents didn't want to believe my friend. She kept stating that her son didn't hit without being provoked and always blamed it on the other child. The child would even go after my friend and the parent would state that he didn't act like that with all teachers and it was just because her son didn't like my friend and eventually asked to have him moved to another room. He was and the problem continued. My friend talked to the daycare administrators about it. They knew it was going on, there was cameras in the room that fed into the office. All they would do was write up an incident report. The kid had a HUGE file from what my friend said. My friend quit that daycare cause no one seemed to care about the protection of the children. From what my friend understood after so many reports a child is suppossed to be kicked out of the daycare, but they wouldn't kick him out. Before she quit, she told me one of the parents had removed their child from the daycare and was going to file a lawsuit against the daycare for allowing her child to be hurt repeatedly as well as the parent of the boy. From what I understand the the boy hit the other woman's daughter in the face with a huge toy and broke her nose. The daycare wouldn't tell the woman how it happened. MY FRIEND DID! My friend said he also broke another kids leg and yet the daycare wouldn't kick this boy out. Needless to say she came over to my house everyday after work just about in tears and she did call the state as well as CPS after she quit. I don't remember the name of the daycare, but it is in Waxahachi. To be honest after all the horror stories she told me, I won't put my children in a regular daycare EVER!!! ONLY home-daycares if I ever need to.

Show him what I said or tell him and see if he changes his tune. I think you are so blessed to find a great home-daycare where they will supervise and communicate with you.

P.S You think it is bad now, Just wait till she starts looking at boys. :D

Dad's are very over protective when it comes to daughters. You said it best, active toddlers are going to get bumps and bruises. If you like your daycare setting, I would not remove her. If you did, she faces the possibility of getting bumped, bruised, scratched, and bitten alot more.

In this situation, I had a private home daycare provider, terrific lady. I spoke with her about what Dad thought. I told her that we where going on vacation. But what I did was put my child in another daycare setting. I spoke with the director and she let me get a trial week. I did pay for that week w/o the sign up and registration fees. This was to ease Dad's mind. The first day, my child came home bruised and scratched. Bite marks were very visible. I showed him, he was angry. The second day and there after was the same thing. So he came back to me and said maybe leaving our baby in the home daycare setting was not so bad after all.

Maybe you can find a daycare that will let you do this.

C.,

Please tell your DH that the 2 of you have a TOMBOY for a daughter, and she is JUST FINE!! She is exploring her world, and is not being dangerously hurt in her environment. Personally, I would trade a day care center that leaves my child in a chair or crib all day for one that lets my child explore any day!!

If you are happy with her child care situation, and she seems to be just as happy with it, I would leave her there!

The other mom that posted Daddy + Daughter = Overprotective hit the nail on the head. But your DH is going to have to learn that daughters need to learn to be just as tough as boys, or they will end up being very co-dependent, which is not a good thing.

I would say leave your daughter with your DH for a weekend, too, but I think in your case Daddy would just leave your daughter "in a glass cage" so to speak because he thinks she is so fragile already. (Not saying he wouldn't interact with her, he just wouldn't let her "explore" for fear of her getting hurt.)

Here's to having Tough Kids! :)
~J.~

My daughter had stitches in her face twice before turning 5. On my watch. Once we were asleep and she fell out of bed, her head hit the floor and blood spurted everywhere. She didn't even fall on an object, just the floor and her face just busted open.

Kids get hurt. If you make too big a deal of it, they'll be scared to try things and experience life. That would be sad.

Good child care is so hard to find. I'd stick it out. I like the idea of leaving her with him for a weekend so he can see what its like. Maybe then he'd ease up on his expectations.

Good luck.

The fact that your babysitter is telling you events that happen that you might not even be able to see speaks a lot in my opinion. She must be watching her to know these things happen. Half the time, my kids come up with a scratch or bump and I have no clue how it happened! I am home with them all day. Ha!

I would take a day off and let hubby keep her a good 8 hours and then see how he feels. Walking + baby=boo boos. He may need some hands on experience at just how busy and how much babies at this age do teeter and toddle as they go.

Other than one of you quitting your jobs, you aren't going to find a place probably any better than what you described. If you are happy with where she is going and she is content there it would be silly to move her.

Give him a day to really experience how active she is and that he will probably have a new admiration for the babysitter. You may even want to let him go out and find another childcare place. Let him see if he can find any that are better than where she is.

Good luck...

My husband was upset when the accidents were happening at home with me. I was shattered. Of course I had been watching him, he is mobile and gets into everything.

My solution. Let dad watch the boys all by himself for at least a weekend. No help from me. I pumped all week so that that weekend, he would have all he needed from me.

He calmed down and realized that there are not enough hands in the world to save them from all their exploring mishaps.

Dont change daycare, you seem to know you dont want to, but help dad realize that little girls can be just a rough and tumble as little boys.

M. V

Mother's instincts about the place being safe or not safe are usually right on target. My "big macho husband" was the same way with our child, a girl. He's never been around little girls, so ANYTHING would set him off when it came to be protective, etc. Being a teacher, he thought I would be the first to fly off the handle. In fact, it was I who was a little more laid back when she got hurt. I didn't want her crying EVERY time she got hurt, so I "brushed" off the dirt and let her keep going. When my intuition is turned on, I definitely will step in. My husband and I had to have a long talk. Tell him how blessed you are to have a husband that is concerned, and that while you are too, your daughter will gets bumps and bruises. Even in your home, it will only take a second that you're turned away for her to get hurt.

He's not a bad daddy, just a cautious one that loves his daughter dearly. Have him listen to the song, "I Danced With Cinderella", which is played on KSBJ. Tell him that what he does for your daughter is really appreciated. Best wishes! You two will have a lot of hurdles on this, but as my husband and I can attest, open communication helps without pointing fingers. Best Wishes!