Pacifier Maintenance/Establishing Patterns

I would disagree with the rest. I never used a pacifier at all. They learned to put their fingers in their mouth to soothe themselves and no, they didn't suck on their thumbs.

It does become a habit and you need to decide if to break it now or later, some have big problems breaking that habit.

Ugh...I totally remember those days! Let me just say that if your child is a binky-addict it will not get better. We literally had to buy a ton of binkies to scatter around the crib as my son got older and even then we would have to get up. I remember searching everywhere in the middle of the night for that thing only to find it wedged between the rails.

Not sure what to tell you...your child is still really young and the binky is definitely good for soothing but I would seriously consider giving it up. Do it when you know that you can dedicate a couple of nights to it. I wished I would have done it. Because once they get a little older and can really vocalize for the binky it gets even more annoying. I can remember tearing the house apert looking for one--or running out to the store on emergency binky runs. Not fun. My son was 3 when I finally took it from him. I think it was a crutch for me as well as him because when he had it he was happy.

Good luck!

Babies aren't really able to self-soothe effectively until about 4 months old. That doesn't mean you can't start giving her some practice now though by letting her fuss a bit before picking her up.And eventually you'll probably have to break her of the paci habit. I recommend getting The Sleepeasy Solution by jennifer Waldburger. It is an amazing book. Lots of sound, practical advice and the system is easy to follow. It deals with every immaginable sleep issue you'll come across from 4 months to age 5. I used it when my daughter was 4 1/2 months old ( after a hellish week when she just decided she wasn't going to nap or sleep anymore) and we sleep-trained her in about a week. It was hard but so worth it! She has been a great sleeper/napper ever since. (She sleeps from 6:30 pm to 6:30 am consistently and still sleeps 2 1/2 to 3 hours in naps, and she's almost 11 months now).
Best of Luck.

I'm wondering if she may actually be hungry in the middle of the night? My son didn't sleep through the night without needing to eat until he was about 5 months old, if I remember right.

We had similar problems with our daughter. I would suggest indulging her at night. My husband or I would get up as soon as we heard her start to fuss, find where ever her binky went, and give it back. We would even keep a couple on her dresser, so at 2am we knew exactly where one was. I always figured if I could get in there and stick the bink back in before she woke up too much she'd go back to sleep on her own, which was the case 99% of the time. Granted sometimes we were up 3 or 4 times a night, at least it was only for a minute. And don't worry, once she is old enough to find it on her own, she'll do that and put herself back to sleep. We also gradually made binky only available for naptime, bedtime, and car rides (it takes us 30 minutes to get anywhere, and she often falls asleep), we also let her have it when she's not felling well. I realize it will probably be harder to get her pacifer away the older she gets, but if it helps everyone get much needed rest, then I'll worry about weaning her off later!

I totally understand not wanting to go back to feeding in the middle of the night, but maybe that would the best idea for at least a little while. I don't know what you consider "through the night", but if it longer than 5 or 6 hrs, she may really be hungry and need at least a little bottle. When she gets a little older maybe you could start giving her less and less each week until she no longer wakes for it anymore. My son was off the night bottle at 4months, but I had to start nursing again at night because he is going thru a growth spurt (I think!).I would not let her CIO yet, she is a little bit little for that, and if she is truly hungry a bottle may be your best bet. Hope this helps and good luck!

Dear H.,

I had the same problem with my son. My friends told me to throw a couple of pacci's in the crib well he could never find it. I ended up getting one of those clips which clips on his shirt. Yes you have to watch the clips and which one you get but I have one from babies r us and there is nothing that can break off of it. Your baby might be to small to find it for now but that is what I did and thank goodness he would sleep trhough the night. My child is like addicted to the paccifier. Good luck. This probably not the best advise but it is what I did and it worked.

Our 2 yr old has been fine with "slowly" losing his bink. We stopped the car ride one first (easiest to replace with toys, vibrations, and snacks), then the night one because he is so exhausted at night compared to nap time. Then, he started daycare 2 full days, and he gave it back to the teacher on the first day and went right to sleep! So, now we offer it if nap time is at a weird time and it might help with him going down. Oh, and emergencies like injuries out in public. But, mostly he is doing fine with the changes.

As for the crying at night when the bink falls out...you may need a bink that stays in better. Our son liked the Mam diamond textured ones as soon as he had teeth, but the smooth ones were at first easy for him to hold onto throughout sleep. We did have to get through the sleep depriving and very bumpy time of the crying out, but we made it. It was nice once he could put himself back to sleep.

Just be consistent in whatever you decide to do as a couple! We always ran into trouble when we misunderstood what our goals were for the night. We benefited by our support for each other. We would hug in the hallway, or my husband would soothingly talk me through it lying in bed. We mostly kept each other from running into his room and interrupting his process of self-soothing. Stick with what you think is best.

Something that got me through the last two years, "All I can do is what I can do."

Good luck :}

It sounds like you maybe just moved her to her crib. If that's the case she will need adjustment time to get used to it. All she has ever known is to sleep next to you at arm's lenght away. Try to give her some time to adjust to one thing at a time. I would suggest to keep giving in to the late night binky calls for a week or so. The new bed may be the cause of napping problems too.
Once she seems used to the bed, start something new with the pacifier. Maybe if you limit it or rely on it less during the day, she may be a little better at night. She is still young yet.
I got my 5 1/2 month old on a blankie in the summer. He was always clutching my shirt when I put him to sleep. It gives him something to hold to feel secure. He sometimes double blankies at a nap. I just check on him to make sure he isn't covering his face.
Good luck with the binky issue.

H.,
I would suggest at this point because it is helpful in the fight against SIDS for you to keep giving her the pacifier. I would have to do what you are doing right now for both of my boys. Eventually they both were able to put the pacifier back in their mouths themselves. I believe around 6 months. For me, crying it out never worked because they are too young to calm themselves they need a bottle or pacifier to do it. I know it is difficult getting up so many times during the night, but it's probably the best thing right now.

My daughter was the same way. She was sleeping through the night by 10 weeks with a pacifier. Fortunately I didnt have to get up to often to replace it but eventually she was able to find it herself. She actually stopped using it around a year old. You are doing the right thing by letting her cry it out. It hurts you more than it hurts her! If the crying goes longer than 20 minutes I can understand you getting up. But she knows when she cries you'll be there. You have to get her to soothe herself. If she is able to take the pacifier and not eat at all through the night, then she may not need the bottle.You also have to look at it like she is may be spitting it out because she is not getting any milk from it because she truly is hungry. You'll just have to figure that part out yourslef.
The best way to break her of it is to start with nap time. make sure she is changed, fed, and burped and just put her in her room without it. She will eventually fall asleep. It will be easier for you to do it this way because you won't be as tired and frustrated as you would be in the middle of the night. Consistency is the key. At her age she obviously is sleeping a lot and will have quite a few naps in just one day to help herself get over it. You could also try cutting the nipple on the pacifier so that she no longer gets comfort from it. A lot of parents do that. Just remember though that she is still young and breaking the habit this early is all up to you. If you can deal with a few more weeks until she can find it herself than that's what you might have to do. She won't need it forever so be patient. Good Luck!

Yep, I totally remember the days of stumbling into my daughter's room in the middle of the night to put her binky back in her mouth--you're definitely not alone! From everything I've read though, it's perfectly normal for a baby to wake up for feedings during the night until their digestive tract is developed enough that they don't need to (usually at 4 months). She may, in fact, be waking up to eat--not necessarily for her binky. Like another response said, she's also probably adjusting to her new sleeping quarters too. I'd definitely stick with the binky for now though--I just read two different things that stated that pacifiers are a great protection against SIDS in newborns. We eventually put one in each corner of my daughter's crib and, by six months, she was able to find one and stick it back in her mouth on her own. Don't worry, the time will go by fast (my daughter is now almost 4 and I now have a son who's 2!) and I'm sure you're little one will get to that point too. Good luck!

Well, she is really little still and until she has enough coordination to put the binky in her mouth herself your kinda stuck. Try rubbing her back for a minute each time you give her back her binky...so that just rubbing her back is associated with soothing as well. Then gradually let her cry a bit longer each time. She will learn to sooth herself in time. Hopefully you can find the binky & rub her back in the dark! LOL you don't want to turn on the light and really wake her up! You should also think about limiting her time with the binky when she is awake during the day...find small toys she can chew on and play with (that are safe of course) to keep her hands and mouth busy. This will help as you begin the process of taking the binky away which you really want to do before she turns a year old. Once she is old enough to ask for it, your gonna have a hard time breaking the habit...trust me I've gone through that four times (yup had to take it away from my oldest twice!) the hard way. Good luck and best wishes!

Hi, I went through this exact same situation. I ended up taking the pacifier away from my son. We had to go through two nights of lots of crying but I let him cry it out (I went in to soothe him several times but never gave him back his paci) and after the second night he never slept with it again and never needed it. But the down fall is that once I broke him of the habit at night then he no longer wanted to take the paci at all, so when we were out in public and he started to get cranky I no longer was able to give him a paci to relax him. But of course the upside was that both he and I were getting full nights of sleep!

Hi H.,
I think she's a little too young to really soothe herself back to sleep at night. I'd sort of try to ease off on the pacifier use during the day so she's less dependent on it. Try to find a lovey that she really takes to. As for her own room: soft classical music/lullabies, soft night light, stick with a regular nighttime routine before putting her down. Do you think if you just rock her at night when she's missing the paci that she will fall back to sleep? Although she's pretty young to not be eating thru the night. Maybe if you do the bottle upon the first time she wakes up she'll sleep longer?
I've heard of moms using the trick of cutting the tip off of the paci so they really don't like it anymore...not sure if she's too little for that though.
Look at it this way, if you can't get her completely off the paci, soon she'll be old enough to put it back in her own mouth!

I have three kids. My first two didn't take binkies, but my third is now 4 months and takes one, although she's not totally hooked. While my first didn't take a binky, she couldn't soothe herself to sleep either. She was used to falling asleep in my arms in the rocker. So each time she woke during the night, I had to go in and put her back to sleep, so I can relate to your problem. My pediatrician, who I really like and respect his opinions, told me not to let them cry it out til at least 4 months old. He felt that they didn't understand enough and just plain need us at that point. Ultimately, for me, I decided even 4 months is too young, but that's a personal decision. Further, I read several of the popular sleep books out there and wasn't totally comfortable with any one program. When I finally felt comfortable with letting them cry to some extent, my ped had what I thought was a great solution. It kind of takes parts of different programs: Go in as often as you want, but when you do, stay just a minute or two and do not take them out of the crib. Comfort them as much as possible, but basically force them to learn how to soothe themselves, but with your support, not just crying alone in the room in a panic. They start to figure out that you are there for them, but if this is all they are going to get from waking up and crying, then it's not worth it. It took two nights with each of my kids that I've tried it with, but they were older when I tried it- one was close to a year and the other was 9 months, I think. Back to the binky issue, if you decide to go with the binky for a while longer and want to solve the problem of going in through the night, I am aware of a few products that may really help you. I am a baby planner (Premier Baby Concierge is my business name) and went out to the ABC Kids show in Vegas where they roll out all of the new baby and kids products and I saw a few things that were designed to help a small baby keep their binky near and to get it back into their own mouth. Here are the product names to look up on the web: pacimals; paci-plushie; wubbanub plush pacifier; and my fave for use in a crib: Paci Partner. Best of luck and if I can help in any other way, feel free to email here or through my site: ____@____.com (dot) com (spelling because otherwise will be auto-deleted).