Pacifier Problems!! - Menifee,CA

I know this sounds cruel. Eventually they will go to sleep without their pacifiers if you stay consistent. Do it on a long weekend or when you don't need as much sleep. Take the pacifier away and do not give it back. 3 is the magic number (3 night and usually you will have formed the behavior if you don't give in and that's the hardest part). They have to learn to be able to go to sleep without it offer something else special for night time to sleep with, that does not effect teeth and speech for later years.

HI Robyn,
My daughter was on the pacifiers until she was 2 1/2. She would only uses them during naps and at bedtime too. One night she came down stairs and said her teeth hurt and I told her that the pacifier was making her teeth hurt. She let me take it away. She stopped taking naps and is a little more difficult to get to bed but no more pacifier. The first week is rough, but they learn to fall asleep with out it. Try a water sippy cup.

Jenn

I'm probably going to be insanely unpopular for this, but here it goes anyway. Your kids are 3 and 2...it's gonna be a long time til college. If they're not using them during the day (which can affect their speech and socialization), is it really that awful to let them have it at night. Toddlers need "lovies." The binky is your kids' security item. If they can't sleep without, its because they NEED the security. I say let them have it...unleast til they start having sleepovers (j/k).

i promise they wont have a pasi when they are 40...but they might be smokers if you take it away befor they are ready.

Hi there

The only way I was able to get my 3 year old daughter to give up her pacifier (her mimi) was I told her that if she gave it up, the mimi fairy would pay her a visit and bring her a present. I talked it up for some time and then each time she left her pacifier out for the mimi fairy, there would be a little present there for her. She would take the present, be it a book, a doll, or whatever, to bed with her, in place of the pacifier. Having something tangible for her gave her something to hold onto in place of her "mimi" She hasn't turned back since. Best of luck!
J.
P.S. I've also had friends who tried this, and had a to make a special emergency phone call to the fairy to bring back the pacifier in the event that things didn't work out the first few times around.

This may not help, but its a funny story about my daughter. I took her pacifier away at two. I would give it to her less and less and only to go to sleep. While she slept I would pull it out. When she tried to talk, I made it very clear I couldn't understand her so she was forced to pull out her pacifier to communicate with me. Then, one night, after she fell asleep; I rounded up all her pacifiers and put them in a bag way up in the closet. The next morning, when she asked for one I told her the dog ate it. She was mad at the dog for a while. At night I would distract her from thinking of the pacifier and would hold her 'till she fell asleep so she'd give up one confort for another. She would cry sometimes but I stood firm. Eventually she just forgot about her pacifier. I brought one out when she was three, and by then she loved to talk! So as soon as she realized it just got in the way, she put it back in the drawer herself. Hope this helps.

If they are truly only using it to sleep, then I would let them continue until they are ready to stop. If they are headed to preschool, that could be the time when you suggest that they are getting so big now that kids who go to school don't use pacifiers. Then have a big ceremony of letting it go. They may need you to rub their back or something like that for the first few days, but then should be able to soothe themselves to sleep. And don't worry about them going to college with it, as doctors say, kids don't go to kindergarten with their pacifiers! Just relax and enjoy being a mom. I hope this helps a little.
K.

My son was 2.5 when he gave up his binkie. He had been using it to sleep only. What worked for us was asking if he would be willing to give his binkies to the new baby of a family friend. We took him to meet the baby (so he had a connection with him) and then explained that the baby really needed binkies. I totally did not think this would work. But it did! Our son helped us wash the binkies and pack them up for the new baby. And he never looked back. Another strategy (this one worked for weaning off his night-night bottle, which he was still getting just before his 3rd birthday and which we thought he would never give up!) our ped suggested was, next time we went on a trip, to "forget" the bottle (or, in your case, binkie). The change of surroundings already disrupts their routine. Plus the added excitment sometimes means they are less likely to notice changes. So when we took a week long vacation in June, we didn't talk about the bottle at all. Our son never asked for it either. When we got home, he did ask and we just said it was all gone. He never cried or got upset. It DID take him quite a bit longer to fall asleep for a while, but we helped that by laying next to him and offering a replacement lovie (a blanket from his babyhood). I was really surprised at how well the technique worked. I was not willing to just cut off such an important source of comfort. But my son's willingness to adapt to the change let me know he was ready. Good luck!

Instead of cutting the tip, try just poking a pin hole in them. They won't suck as nice (and the kids won't notice as much.) They will get bored with them. Another idea is to have them throw them away themselves. Have the "big kid" talk then open the trash can and let them throw it away. At any rate, if they are not using it all day, and only use it to fall asleep, it's probably not even that big of a deal (if they fall asleep fast, then you remove them from their reach) Next time you go to the dentist (recommended by the child's second birthday,) talk to him/her about the paci. They may have some more tricks and they'll be able to caution or comfort you on whether or not it seems to be causing any mouth problems.

We are 2 months post paci and I must say it was VERY difficult to get through but we did it. My 3 1/2 year old was sooooo in love with her pacifier but would use it only for sleep. She would go to sleep in 5 minutes with it but I, too was concerned that she would be 8 and still sleeping with the paci. To make a long story short, we decided enough was enough, plus she was starting full days at school and there are no pacifiesr allowed, so we took the last paci we had and tied it to a pink balloon and sent it up, up in the sky. We made a very big deal out of it and gave her a present. Needless to say, the present meant nothing when it was time for bed. It took her many hours to fall asleep but she finally did. She still takes longer to fall asleep that my older daughter who is 6. Also, for napping, if she's not in school (3 days a week), she falls asleep in the car and I transfer her. My only saving grace was that she also has a blankie that she loves and I told her I will never take that away from her. Since she hasn't had the paci, her teeth have gone back to where they should be and although we had major emotional problems with coping and control of emotions for about 6 weeks post paci, I'm happy to say that we are doing much better! Hope that helps. If you need any other support or advise, let me know. ~Dena :)

I saw the pacifier fairy strategy used on one of those reality nanny shows. They talked to the child about how it was time to let go of her pacifier to let the fairy give it to the babies and littlier kids that need it more. The child was allowed to hang it up in a tree for the fairy to take. The next morning, a reward was hanging on the tree where the pacifier was last placed.

Get a Czech grandmother who will stay with them over a weekend while you're in Vegas, and she will break them of the habit.

But seriously, I had this exact, same problem. My son was okay during the day, but at night, I would literally just plug in the binkie, and he'd be out all night.

All I can say is that we would still be enabling him with the binkie if it wasn't for my mother-in-law. She literally snatched it out of his mouth the minute we drove away and wouldn't give him one for the entire weekend. According to her, he didn't even mind and slept like a babe immediately. Somehow I have my doubts, but I'll let her revel in her glory...

This advice does sort of go along with the advice the pediatrician gave me-- she said to go away on a short trip for the weekend and tell him, "Oops! We left the binkie at home! Too bad!" She said by the end of the weekend, he'd adjust, because he'd be distracted by his new environment, and he'd be having fun and would be exhausted by being on "vacation."

Good luck. Just know that IS possible, and that they WILL learn to live without it. Just be strong!

K.

ps) Darn! I didn't read the other responses before I posted, but hey, at least you know the theory works =)

Dear Robyn,

Just look at this as a lesson that you can't micro manage your children's lives. Sometimes when we give up on a problem, 'it' manages to solve itself. One day they will just let the pappy lay there, and not even think of it anymore. It IS a comfort to them, so just give in this once. And think about something else, like making puree out of vegies that they won't eat and sneaking it into pancakes and rolled up tortillas along with stuff that they do like. I just saw this on Oprah and want to try it just because it sounds like it will make some things more tasty.

Back to the pappy problem, the 'zeitgeist', I wonder if I spelled that right, enters into even our children's cribs, doesn't it? You might as well just get used to deciding for yourself what is good for your children, using some signals that they give you along with your devoted everloving mother sense, and Dad's good sense too.

Men do have another point of view, that I don't necessarily agree with all of the time, but I do listen to my husband and sometimes, yes, a lot of times he is right.

But, who knows, don't ask a question unless you are willing to deal with the answer even if you don't like it.

Think, think, think, that is what I tell myself sometimes too. C. N.