Parents Always Late to Pick up Kids!

I'm with Abbie H. These kids are old enough to hang out by themselves for a few minutes if needed (most probably have cell phones these days) and maybe mom and dad will get the message and get them picked up on time!

But i also agree a note should probably go home first - let the parents know that practice is over at X time and coach will be leaving exactly 10 minutes later. If kids are still there, they will be there unsupervised. Good luck!

Is there some reason 11 and 12 year olds can't wait for their ride by themselves? I agree with putting out a flier to parents. Say that due to his schedule he can't wait for parents and he isn't available to give rides home.

We had this problem with a couple teams:

Team A), It became a rotating parent job, just like snacks. 1 parent had to stay to make sure the kids were picked up by the other parents. On their "day", they needed to be there 20 minutes before the end of practice. There was a signout sheet and everything.

Team B) The coach changed the practice time to ending 15 minutes earlier.

Ditto a flier out to parents in addition to the email.

I would say talk to the director of the department through which the team sports are run by...recreation program director or school athletic director. Let them know what is going on. Host another mandatory parent meeting stating that if the parents who are picking their kids up late can't be on time, then their child will have to leave the team, put it in writing and have them sign it. Maybe 3 strikes and you're out. It may sound harsh to "punish" the family like that, but right now your husband is the one whose being punished, he should NOT be expected to hang around for a 1/2 hour after every practice, it's just not right or fair. And, he'll end up getting discouraged and quit which would be a loss for the kids...but who could blame him. What that mother said to your husband half way through practice was simply rude and inconsiderate, in the future he needs to just say I'm sorry, you'll have to make other arrangements...some people!! I used to coach so I understand. Don't let these parents walk all over your husband, let them know that there are rules to follow and being on time is one of them! It won't take long for them to get the message after a kid gets removed from the team for it.

*And in my experience, this will only continue if he allows it. Simply asking nicely and not following up with any consequences won't change a thing. Set the rule and be firm and consistent about it, the parents will respect him for it. Sure, some will complain but those who really get it won't. And if he has any problems, he can simply say, "talk to my supervisor" who will back him up.

Maybe I'm just mean, but when "Susie's" mom came out and told your husband that she had a prior engagement and that he could just bring her home, why didn't your hubby call "Susie" in and explain to her that her mom had a prior appointment and that he couldn't take her home, so she had to leave right then?

I agree that the parents need to step up and help with waiting with the kids, etc. Just explain to the parents that there are days you can't stay after and wait for the late parents to pick up the kids, so you need help from the parents.

Perhaps, your husband can send a handout flier, to ALL parents, about late pick ups.
Because, not everyone reads, e-mails.

In it, state: that the children need to be picked up on time. That he has to, within 15 minutes, go to another obligation and appointments.
He cannot... stay on and on, for late parents.
And that his daughter missed an appointment, because he had to wait for late pick up parents.

Isn't there another Coach, besides him????
If so, then there needs to be, a system of who waits for the late pick ups. Not only him, all the time.
It is only fair.

But, if a parent is late, perhaps because they could not get off of work on time... then what?
The parents, have a responsibility, to have their child picked up, on time, as well. And to have a back-up plan, in case, THEY are late for picking up.
That needs to be said, in the newsletter too.

The thing is, people assume that the Coach can just wait and wait... and has time to wait. And they take it for granted. But your Husband, cannot wait. So he needs to say that.
Everyone has a schedule, and he is not a babysitter for late parents.

Don't say that your Husband has a 1/2 hour time-frame in which to get to another "appointment" or obligation. You need to say it is 15 minutes... because human nature is, that people will be later than even 15 minutes. So don't give the absolute last minute timing, of it.

Just be matter of fact in the handout.
And the handout should also state the "rules" of pick ups.

People, do not think... that a Coach has other things in life to do... and to get to right after practice. So you need to spell this out.

IF, he is expected to babysit the kids, for late parents, then maybe they should have a penalty. Like child care Providers do: meaning, they charge $5 per every 15 minutes that a parent is late to pick up their child.

And, he is certainly not a shuttle bus... to take kids home. Either.
There is "liability" for him, if he transports a child home, in his vehicle. For example.

Or, maybe your Husband can just do Coaching, less.
Since it seems to conflict with family dinners and appointments and family life. Or, he just will not be able to schedule anything else... after his Coaching obligation. It seems, he has too much to do. And how can he then, be able to have family dinners and appointments for his kids, after Coaching?
It is a family scheduling, problem as well.

In any handout that he gives to parents, per pick up times... he needs to state... a TIME. Meaning, he has to state that pick ups has to be within say, 15 minutes. After that he will not be there.
AND I would think, there is another Coach there too????
Because right now, parents seem to think that the Coach can just wait forever... for them to pick up their child. They are then, making your Husband responsible.... for watching their kids, for however how long it takes, for them to pick up their child.

I like Riley's solution . . . and as far as the "you can just bring Katie home" thing, um, no - YOU can take her with you. I'm not a taxi service thank you very much. Some people have no manners.

your husband is doing this out of the goodness of his heart, he is entitled to have a family dinner! I think you have some great suggestions here, send home a letter and email saying the coach has a commitment requiring him to leave immediately after practice but that he is reluctant to leave the children unsupervised. State that if it continues to be a problem you will either need a RELIABLE volunteer(s) (not the habitually late) to stay after practice. or you will need to end practice 15 minutes earlier so hubby can get to his commitment. You do not need to say what this commitment is or when he needs to get there. Parents who walk all over the coach will not have kids who find much success in sports anyway.

Omg I can't believe you are saying leave these kids alone. 9-12 is prime age for crazies to steal the kids. Honestly if the kid's parent is late more than once next time tell her I'm sorry but you have to stay with your child or take her with you because I cannnot stay late for you to pick her up. If you cannot be here by a certain time then you need to just stay or take her with you.

you can be a harda** about it, i too am a stickler for time, and tardiness drives me NUTS, and i am a supervisor at work and it is a HUGE pet peeve of mine. so i definitely feel your pain. (i am an, if you're on time, you're late kind of person, i prefer to be anywhere, between 5-10 minutes early)

but my harda** attitude about it is more the principle of the thing. when it comes down to it, most of the time i give myself so much cushion that it's never an issue.

for example...i wouldn't ever plan my life so rigidly that someone else's tardiness would cause ME to be late. no way. sounds like when planning things, you should include an extra 30 minutes for late pickups. to make your own life easier. because then you're the one making people late (or your husband, in this case).

Our kids were younger than this age range but at one time we had the coach as well us us when we were the coach and manager require that ALL kids, have at least one adult or parent there at all times. We did tell them if they needed to run to the local store to grab a drink to just let us know but outside of just a few minutes, there were to be no exceptions. We were not babysitters.

What I would suggest is that your hubby have a team parent meeting. Make it mandatory that all parents attend (or at leasts one for each child).

Remind them that you are not a babysitting service. You are coaching from this time until this time but practice could end early or an emergency could occur and a responsible party MUST be on site for that child. Now, if practice is immediately after school (like for a school team) that may not be possible to expect but you can tell them they must be there by a certain time. Then, have your hubby personally speak to the habitual offenders and specify that this means them...if this is a volunteer position, he could tell them that going forward he charges $5 per minute for late pick up.

On a side note, you should expect that you will have this when coaching. My son played a different sport EVERY season and every season, there were a few of us parents taking various kids home or waiting for the parents to show up after events. You may want to not figure on "family dinners" on practice nights because you are setting yourself up for failure.

What is the league's solution for this? I ask because when my son played soccer it was always through a city rec program that followed the state's soccer association rules and the rec program had rules about fees, pickups, participation, etc. set by the rec program. Pick up and drop off times where outlined in the enrollment forms so the coaches had a back-up to help deal with parents when situation like yours arose. It helped the coaches to be able to cite the rec program rules and lessened coach/parent conflict.

In any event, I agree with the other posters who said a hard copy flier to all parents regarding tardiness is in order. Also, your hubby needs to have a private conversation with the worst offenders and explain that they need to either be on time, stay for the entire practice, and consider their priorities in relation to their childs' extra curricular activities. He must also stress to all parents that he will not transport their children home.

Its a tough one - the coaches that I have known did it for the love of the sport and a desire to see children succeed and have fun. So punishing the children because the parents are less than stellar is contrary to the reason they coached.

Me, I always stayed for practices - the farthest away I ever went was across the street to the library. :)

I like Riley's solution - put one parent in charge and make them arrive early, on a rotating basis. Also, these kids are old enough to hang out at the park until their parents arrive. Being a coach does NOT mean you are a babysitter.

If the rotating parent idea doesn't work, have your husband tell the entire team - firmly, without sugar coating it - that practice ends at 5:30 and he will be leaving promptly at 5:35 (figure that gives him time to pack up equipment and load the car). Parents must arrive on time or children will be left at the park to fend for themselves.

Daycares often charge $1 for every minute a parent is late. You can also try that as an option.

Our school choir's policy is that kids must be picked up within 15 minutes of the end of choir. If they aren't two times, they are no longer welcome to participate in choir. We haven't actually had to ask anyone to leave, but it cured the problem. We had parents that were coming as late as 45 minutes late before sending the letter home. Now, most of the kids are picked up in 5 minutes, and all stragglers are gone within 10 minutes. Hope you find a good solution!

I am perpetually late. Never was before I had kids and with each kid (I have four), I got a little later each time. I just cannot stand this trait I have acquired. That being said, the only way you will get through to these people is to talk to each of them directly. Just call them up, tell them why it is effecting your family and politely ask them to be on time. I bet you will see a huge difference.

Good luck!

When my son played football and it was the first meeting of the seaon with all of the parents there the coaches told all parents that this was not a babysitting service and that a parent had to be present or that child could not participate.

This eliminated the problem your husband has. It means that the parents have to take time from their schedule to be with their child even if it is sittig in the bleacher seats or else and not dropping them off and doing other things.

Besides if the child gets hurt they parent has to be there to take the child to the ER not the coach.

Otherwise, I would call CPS and tell them that the kids were not picked up and that they are now at the police department and the parents can explain to the police why they didn't pick up their kids on time from practice. Your husband and your family should not be inconvenience by these uncaring parents. Time for the mommies and daddies to put on their big people undies.

Life is too short. Sorry you are not being paid to watch kids only to instruct them in a sport.

The other S.

If these kids were younger I would think differently but I would make sure the parents knew I was leaving from now on as soon as practice is over. They can ask a parent that has stayed if they'd like to watch their kiddo in case they are late.

I would also stop the insanity. No more appointments on practice nights. If you live a half hour away from where practice is then something is terribly wrong here. The kids on the team should be in the same area. Practice should not be so far away. I would take a good long look at the schedule and make some changes. If you are having conflicts then one parent needs to go with one child and the other parent needs to go with the other child. Problem solved.

Also, I don't get to do family dinners on practice nights. I made a commitment for the kiddo to play soccer so he is going to be there. I make alternate plans on those nights, you can too. Either we eat before we go, he isn't home so that won't work for you guys, or we eat out. It has become kind of a tradition to go get taco's, Subway, or burgers on these nights. It is a special treat so it's not every night.

I do not think it would matter to me at all if you said the kid would not play the first part. Often the kids don't get to play then anyway. They are a team and the team does take turns when they play right?

Have a team meeting, request all parents attend. If both cannot be there then at least one parent.

Hubby's speech:

Tell them you need an assistant coach who's main responsibility would be to take over when practice is over, to run kids to here or there, to stay until someone shows up for their kids. Tell them if no one volunteers that from that day forward you are going to leave the kids on the field, they can continue to kick the ball around or just hang out. The kids are almost legally old enough to babysit children for a job. They should be able to take care of themselves until their parents get there.

If they don't like this option coach...then tell them the team is disbanded until another coach can be found.

Wow, this is ridiculous. There are a few ways to handle this:

Have a mandatory parent meeting
~Write up a flyer for all of them and include names & numbers off all parents
~Tell them they need to contact each other to see who can stay with their kid or bring them home for them, that you cannot be responsible due to other commitments
~or ask parents if they would prefer that every kid needs an adult there at all games

Maybe if you put it in the parents hands, they will respond better

Personally I don't like the idea of leaving a kid that was in your care by themselves if a parent is not there, if there were 2 or more then thats better

I think he needs to give everyone a memo that says that practice ends at x hour. Everyone has things to do and places to be. The rule is that your child must be picked up by x time or y will happen (will he bench the child?). Say that everyone needs to respect everyone's time. Be AT practice on time and LEAVE on time. I agree that 11yr olds can wait in a public park, so long as it's not dark. Many of those kids would otherwise walk home after school by themselves. I used to walk to the library and wait for my mom there after school activities. If someone says, "take so and so home" he needs to say, "No, you take your child home."

Most daycares and preschools charge you. Ours was $1 minute you were late. They sometimes waived that for things like really bad weather or an accident. But you were otherwise expected to pick up on time.

Sadly, I don't think that your husband can do it all. Can you meet in the middle some nights and maybe do a family dinner out?

No way on the dropping kid off unless the kid is part of your family. way to many people get into trouble that way. a car accident and your being sued. I would tell the mom no. And say I am sorry I will not be able to do drop offs as I have another commitment. your husband is going to have to speak up and say if your not able to make arrangements for rides back and forth then maybe talk to the other parents and make a plan but I am not able to do it. period.