Parents Right to Know at Daycare

Have they called to tell you of the incident or at least initiated it at pick up? They are legally bound to do so - if you are finding out about it and having to ask them, then I would pull her from that day care pronto.

Sorry if this is a repost. I would demand to know who the child is. I would
also remove her from that daycare asap. I know it is an inconvenience,
but I do not think I could rest knowing she was there. Good luck.

Knowing who did it is not as important as knowing why the supervision of these kids is so lax that these things keep happening? Yes, kids get hurt, but bitten once, shame on the child, bitten twice shame on the caregiver.

I don't know about NY, but I think it is pretty standard for daycares to keep that information confidential. If your child in old enough, she should be able to tell you who it was. If she isn't, then it is likely the "attacker" is too young to understand. The big issue is that the daycare is responsible for keeping your child safe - and they are not doing that if she is getting hurt all the time. Make it very clear to them that you expect her to be taken care of while in their care. Ultimately, the daycare is to blame. They cannot prevent things like this from happening all the time, but it sure should not be a repeated behavior like that.

This has happened to my children as well, and I feel very bad for them when it does. My 2 year is able to tell me who bit her at daycare. There is really nothing you can do about it even if you know - the child is not your responsibility and you have no authority over him/her. Make it clear to your provider this behavior is not acceptable and you expect them to keep a closer eye on the children involved.

Nope- you do, however, have the right to meet with the daycare provider and find out EXACTLY what is being done to prevent the situation from occuring again and whether or not the other child's parents have been notified.

When my son was bit (twice) at daycare, I scheduled an appointment with the primary teacher and told her that I understood she couldn't share the name (although my 2 yr old told me), but that I wanted to know what was being done and that while I knew she couldn't promise that it wouldn't happen again, I expected some type of consequence for the other child.

She outlined very clearly what was being done and let me know that she had a plan with the other child's parent. Essentially, she gave them a set of activities to do at home to reduce the biting and let them know that if the biting did not stop by a set date they would need to find alternative childcare.

Honestly, it did stop and if you ask my son what happened, he'll tell you that his teacher says "You do NOT bite your friends. You need to sit on the chair and think for a while b/c it's NOT okay". She uses the same words with minimal variation for each infraction and the kids know that she means business!

As others said, probably not. I am a home provider in MN and I know in our state, the law is not to tell who did the biting, etc (altho older children tell...there is always a "town crier" in every group telling the news highlights of our day..and my kids are all age 3 and under).

Even with the best of supervision, kids fall, get scratched (I keep my fingernails boy-short and I still occasionally scratch a child with them or my small wedding ring just by grabbing them when they tip over from young balance issues, are about to trip over a toy or other child, etc..in keeping them safe, I can easily accidentally scratch them, etc)....plus small kids push..its their nature (altho you do not state how old your child is). If she is a toddler, which is common biting age.....it really does happen in the blink of an eye..you can be sitting 12 inches from them and it happens in a half second.

Its very upsetting for all parties...parents and children alike. But generally, it is a phase for both children. The biter needs to be watched closer, obviously, and offered techniques to alleviate the WHY of the biting, but generally in my experience, it works its way out in a month or 2 at the most...and for the one being bitten..they need to be helped with not being the victim too

I am curious tho, as a parent of the victim here, what would you do with the info? Just wondering....

Best of luck with it all.

I don't know, but I would switch to a different day care if I were you. There are so many out there and it seems to me this isn't a good fit for your daughter.

I can only imagine how frustrating it is for a parent to come in and see their child has a horrible bite mark. I know you want to know, but honestly, what good will it do? You can't reason with the child or threaten him/her. When I worked at a day care there was a parent who was so angry about his child being bitten that he stormed into the classroom demanding to know who had bit his child because he was "going to bite him in the a**!"

From the teacher's persective it was so hard to catch the children before they bit. Sometimes I could see it coming and could stop it, but most of the time it was unpredictable. I remember standing right next to a child who turned and bit another child before I could blink. It happens so fast! I would ask the teachers to be sure to keep your child away from the biter any time they see him/her near her.

Definitely meet with the director and let her know that this is not acceptable. The biter may need to be removed from the school if it becomes severe. If they refuse, then you need to find new child care.

Nope, it is not a parent's right to know which child is causing th problems. But, you do have the right to drop in any time to observe. If it is possible, I would hide out in the hallway and observe through the open door or window. If the daycare center has cameras in the classroom, you could also ask to observe from the director's office.

You should also ask tr center what corrective steps they are taking to ensure your daughter's safety and well being.

How old is your child? If she is between the ages of 2 and 4 you have to understand that these things happen. While it does seem a little excessive, these things typically come in spurts like this. You don't have to like it (it frustrates me too when my kids get hurt at daycare) but you should understand how young kids may turn to physical acts when they are not sure how to express their feelings and frustrations with words.

What would knowing the name of the kids do? Are you going to hunt down their parents and give them a piece of your mind? I'm going to guarantee that sometime during your child's experiences as a toddler or pre-schooler she is going to at least once shove another kid, call another kid a name, maybe even bite or hit another kid - it's NORMAL. And, in daycare or preschool, good teachers take the time to process the situation and teach the offender why their actions aren't appropriate and how to better deal with their feelings using words. These things happen frequently.

So no...you are not entitled to know the other child's name. I'm not sure what you would need to know it for other than the purpose of knowing.

My son was in day care for a while and he has some special needs and was the constant victim of biting, here is my problem with it they NEVER caught the biter because my son's special needs assist in him not realizing that it hurts and is a bad activity. Typically it is 3 bites and you are out unless the bite causes blood/serious injury (then you are out right then) and there is no way you are going to find out who the child is at any of the day cares we have been at thus far, (we now stay at home) for the same stated reason. Really, you need to change centers or ask for another aid/teacher in your daughter's class if she is getting hurt this often.

nope. Like others have said... it's a safety issue. What if you were psychotic, and decided to go after the kid injuring your kid? and the day care just GAVE you that information? (even if it is just the name, it wouldn't be hard to figure out more about the kid...) You could request to speak to the day care if you would like (like others suggested) OR if you really want to push it, you could write a note to the parents of the child in question asking to meet up, and ask them to pass it on... that way they don't have to worry about giving out info. but if the parent is willing, you can get to the bottom of things...

No, it is for the safety of all involved.

No you dont but if it doesnt stop soon, and you feel the teacher isnt doing her job in taking care of these situations, (because thats alot to go through in one month) Then if your daughter told you which child did these things to her then I think you have the right to go to the other childs parents and have a sit down and talk to them about this. They need to know their child isnt being nice, and is doing these things, so maybe they can dicipline them. And if that doesnt work then you may have to change daycares.

You didn't mention how old your child was.... but I agree with Jane, no sorry, knowing will only cause "issues" between parents. If your daughter is a toddler and in a toddler classroom at a daycare center, then bitting is going to happen. I know its sad seeing your little one hurt but its all part of the learning process at that age. In six months or so when in the two - older two classroom the whole bitting will slowing go away as they learn other ways to express there frustrations.
I think the more important thing to know is what the childcare provider does when a child is bitten. The center where my childern go the "biter" is told not to bit... and put in a "safe spot" to calm down. Repeating the same disapline will teach the biter not to do it. The child that is bitten is given lots of TLC and they put ice on the bite. I think knowing the center is taking care of the situation as a whole is more important that know the name of the baby that is still learning how to handle their frustrations.

Did you ask your daughter? You could also check w/ your local licensing agency and find out what the rules might be.

You should at least be able to request that your child not be around the other child but without know who it is, you wouldn't know if the request was being honored.

No, I believe you don't have a right to know WHO the child was that hurt yours. Why do you want to know anyway? Just to know? What will you do with that information?

BUT, you DO have a right to know what the standing policy of the day care is on handling these issues, and if they are being followed correctly. You also have a right to be notified IMMEDIATELY of any injury, especially bites that leave an open mark -- not just when you pick up the child.

That's a great question. thanks

I feel as you...I would like to know who was doing this, if they were sick, etc. If there were too many of these instances, I would talk to the teachers, etc about keeping that child away from mine. Once or twice is understandable, but after that it just seems like negligence or incompetence. I know kids will be kids, but they are supposed to provide a "safe" environment for your child. Just my take on it though.

Oh, we went through that phase--for about 6 months (started when my girl was ~9 mos)! Every other week she'd come home with a bite, scratch, scraped knee, bruise, etc. About half the time it was her fault (falling, climbing, etc), but it really bothered me how many times she was hurt by other kids. There was one boy who bit her 3 times in that period. They never told me who it was, but on the days we had a pink slip (description of injury), he had a pink slip (description of offense)... so I put 2 + 2 together. Other kids & babies were also getting hurt & bitten by him, so it was obviously some phase he was going through. One day that he had a pink slip, I heard his mom laugh and say "Oh, you got bit today? I guess somebody finally gave you a piece of your own medicine?!" Yeah, not sure how I feel about that comment. At least he did finally get over the phase and stop biting. Oh, and the director finally had him moved to a classroom with older kids to keep him from biting the defenseless babies.

As a parent, you can talk with the teachers & director and they'll do what they can, but I think the best thing you can do is prepare your kid. I taught my little girl that biting is NOT NICE and if someone tries to bite, you yell "NO BITING!" She also learned to stay away from the more aggressive kids until she was big enough to hold her own with them.