S.C.
Hi A.-
My daughter (now 4 1/2 yrs. old) had a reaction to a PB&J sandwich around the same age as your daughter. It was her second exposure to peanut butter and with no food allergies in my family, we had no idea what was happening. She only ate one small bite and wiped the rest on her face (which broke out in hives). We called her pediatrician and he recommended Benadryl, and then the ER if that didn't work. Fortunately it worked.
Like the other moms said - the next reaction could be more severe. We have worked hard to not expose my daughter to any nut products (she's allergic to peanuts and tree nuts) and she has never had another major reaction in 3+ years. But we don't let her eat anything that has any mention of nut allergens and if we don't have access to a label (e.g. birthday party cupcakes), we don't let her have one.
On a couple of occasions she's started wheezing suddenly. She has asthma, but it seemed to come on very quickly after playing with a basketball at the YMCA. I thought perhaps someone ate a peanut butter sandwich and then touched the basketball, so I gave my daughter Benadryl and the wheezing went away.
We didn't see a pediatric allergist until after my daughter was diagnosed with juvenile arthritis before her second birthday. Before then, our pediatrician just gave us an epi-pen. Once she developed juvenile arthritis, we wanted to find out if the inflammation was due to foods she was eating so the pediatrician referred us to a pediatric allergist. My daughter was tested (blood tests) for various foods and then told us we needed to get rid of our cats (???!!!). He was so condescending so we switched to another pediatric allergist who we love. He said some of the same things (e.g. no connection between the arthritis and foods) but in a much more professional manner.
My daughter goes in 1-2 times per year to be tested. Her peanut levels are going down, and the doctor wants to do a challenge this summer, but I'm not sure I'm ready to do that. I need to get more information. My husband took my daughter to the last appointment and didn't ask questions about what a challenge would entail (e.g. will it cause her levels to shoot up?)
Here's a fabulous group to join - SAFE - http://www.safewithfoodallergies.com. You can sign up for their Yahoogroup and parent area on the site to get some local support. It was very overwhelming for me when my daughter was first diagnosed, and each stage brings a new challenge (e.g. our biggest challenge is school right now).
Your daughter is too young to attend their classes, but once she's old enough, I highly recommend them. My daughter attended their summer camp last year and the school year classes. Heather and Kathryn do a great job with the kids and my daughter loves going.
Another group that helped me a bunch is http://www.kidswithfoodallergies.org/.
Please feel free to email me with questions.