Peds Dental Advice

I would not take my child to a dentist/doctor/whatever that did not allow me in the room with them. My son is 4 and that is not old enough to understand everything that is going to happen and he isn't old enough to know if something seems wrong. For example, being administered gas without the parent knowing! I would call that dentist and get copies of everything you signed. Unless you agreed to the dentist giving gas, I'd demand the charge be removed from your bill. Even if you did sign allowing it, I would think any competent dentist would tell you before hand that gas would be given and go over any side effects. And I would not go back to that dentist at all unless they start letting you back in the room.

No!! You're not overreacting!! You know, I can't believe dentists and doctors still do this nowadays, with so many liabilities.

You are your child's advocate and protector. I could never leave my son in a vulnerable position with a Dr. I know nothing of. They should notify you of EVERYTHING, they are doing. Every procedure, everything they use. No only that, your child has no power in that situation. Seriously, there is a case, (I don't remember what state) where a Dentist got arrested for taping himself molesting dozens of children. He was with them sometimes, a matter of minutes. He literally got away with it for years. I know this is rare, and I don't live my life as an alarmist thinking bad things will happen. However, all those cases could have been easily prevented, just by a print being in the room. Simple. UGH...I hope I didn't totally freak you out. That's not my intention. There is a reason male doctor's won't be alone in a room with female patients. I think the same should go for children. Too many miscommunications can happen, and it's just too much of a liability. Medications that shouldn't be given, can be given. Procedures you don't want, can happen. I really am surprised any Dr. would request that. It just doesn't make sense.

If they so much as gave my kid an aspirin, I'd want to know! You should go back to the dentist's office and raise hell about that. First, they should have asked permission before administering a sedative to your child, absolutely. Second, if it's not covered by insurance, they should have asked permission (same goes for panoramic x-rays, fluoride treatments, etc etc). I would raise a fuss about the whole situation.

At our dentist's office, they gave my older daughter panoramic x-rays without asking me, and then sent me a bill for $600! I fought them and won. I don't know what they think about sometimes. I mean, I knew they were going to do the x-rays, at least, but they didn't say they'd be that pricey!

I often think mom's on the forum are overreacting, but you are not. There is no reason not to let you in the room (and every reason you should be in the room). They should not be giving laughing gas for a cleaning. They shouldn't be giving laughing gas without telling you. Etc and wow.

Definitely find a new dentist. I can't imagine our ped dentist telling me I can't accompany my daughter to her appointment. Eek.

I would be LIVID if my kids were given laughing gas without my knowledge or consent. My kids have had to have it for work done before but it is always clear when making the apt that they may have to use it to help calm the child and make sure they have a very light breakfast like toast before to help in case of nausea. They always say again before taking them back that they might or will get it. You have to sign permission to have it administered. They tell you up front it is not covered by your insurance. At the office we go to they try not to use it if they don't have to but if it's needed to get anything done than they do. When my son was only getting sealants he needed it because he was extremely agitated and stressed. It really helped him.
As for not going in the room with them. When they are little you are allowed in the rooms for cleanings but if any work needs to be done you are not. When they get older you are not allowed to go back with them. The head of the practice is an elderly man that's been a ped dentist for ages. He has learned that children are actually calmer without their parents. If the parent is in the room they actually freak more because their parent isn't able to pick them up and "take them away" which can cause even more stress.
We're old pros now unfortunately. My oldest has a genetic problem with his teeth so he's had a ton of work done. 2 other kids too. My youngest had 2 teeth come in with defects from the get go and she wasn't 2 yet. She'd only had the molars maybe 2 or 3 months before we saw the damage. It's worse for us to wait then it is for them.

My DD is 3. I have been in the room with her every visit since she was 10 months old and she's had to have a patch on a bad tooth. DD was upset when she was little but we have graduated to the big kid room now. She is great about the dentist. Would I have let her be alone when she was 1 or 2? Heck no. Not even when she was upset. It would have been WORSE for her to be by herself.

I would be VERY upset if they gave my child gas and nothing was mentioned about it, either before or after the fact. Gas for a cleaning? That seems like overkill. It should have been mentioned before they did it. You were there. Your child had a reaction and you didn't have any idea. That alone would make me get all Momma Bear on them and swap offices ASAP. The insurance thing aside, that alone would make me angry.

Sometimes professionals make you feel like you're in the way or you're stupid, but if ever something doesn't sit well with you, you need to speak up and not just "get over it". There was a doctor in DE who was charged recently with molesting kids in his office and I just can't imagine what was said to them to make them think it was alright b/c he was a doctor. You never know. Not that I'm fearful, but I'm often appalled at how doctors treat parents, or their kids. I had a doctor I saw once when I was a kid who was curt and rude and I told my mom (who was in the room) how much I hated that visit and we never saw him again.

Not only am I there to observe DD and comfort her in the dentist chair, but the dentist keeps me informed - this is what we are doing to her teeth. This is how you brush them. Etc. They do older kid cleanings in a large open area with many seats so you can easily observe them. Nothing is hidden.

I don't think you're overreacting at all. I would find a new one. I would tell them WHY. I would tell people not to go there. You might also ask your insurance about the gas since I doubt it is common practice for a child to need gas for a routine cleaning and you were not informed. The only proof you had was the bill and your child feeling poorly. They may still charge you, but they may argue the charge, too. They don't like to pay for things. Tell them it was an unauthorized procedure.

The main reason we don't have her with our family dentist is because he doesn't see kids that young. He recommended the place when I asked if he knew of a good pediatric office, knowing our family and how we like his style.

It is not true that a decent pediatric dentist will not allow you in the room with your child. My children are now 20 and 16 and I have been taking them to Tooth Fairy World in Chicago (Hyde Park and North Side offices). Dr. Vitiello and her staff are excellent. Parents are allowed in the kid-friendly room, and if your child is particularly nervous the parent can sit in the dentist chair and hold the child in his/her lap during the examination.The dentist you went to should have told you everything they were going to do before they actually did it. You are not overreacting.

I love our pediatric dentist, he does all their work under anesthesia in the Hospital though. He would never do anything at the office either. We all go back to the rooms too. All kids and both of us go together in the one room.

I would make sure this is a pediatric dentist and not just a family dentist. It sure sounds like he isn't a pediatric one. I have never heard of one doing this.

They may have had too much "trouble" out of your son and decided to make it easy on themselves by doing the gas, I would be totally pissed off and not pay the bill and tell them if they followed through with the billing I would be calling an attorney for them doing unauthorized medical procedures on my child.

I know what you mean.
Because of all the "buzz" about pediatric dentists, I switched my son from our family dentists (he liked her just fine) to a pediatric office. Not only do they NOT accept most dental insurances, they have the same policy--no parents "in the back". after about 4 visits (2 years) my son said "Can I go back to Dr. K.?" and you know what? I feel a whole lot better about a dentist who has nothing to hide. I know they SAY having the parents there causes stress to some kids, but my son is a dream dental patient, no fear, anxiety, etc....so I've decided to take him back to the dentist I see. It just "feels" right to me.
As for your specific situation, I would certainly be ALL over that dental practice like ugly on an ape. Laughing gas for a cleaning?????!!!! and the level of deceit is off the hook. Not only would I NOT pay for something I did NOT authorize, I would let them know exactly why I won't be returning. Tell all your friends what was done to you/your child as well.

Our pedi dentist did not have parents in the back. I never had an issue with it as most of the people at this practice were ok with it as well. Quite personally, I like the set up because I don't want some parents I don't know and my daughter doesn't know hanging around where she is. I don't know if someone is a sicko or not. Plus is a parent starts freaking out about something, then that parent has scared all the kids in the room. Our Dr. was in an open setting.

Parents can be an intrusion to the staff, make the visit not go as smoothly and the experience not as good for the child. I know it is hard but we as parents, have to start letting go little bits at a time or when they move from the nest we'd go crazy! Basically, the dentists' try to set it up so that the children will have a good experience at the dentist and not have issues throughout their lives with fear of the dentist. A lot of parents (me included) prefer to do anything else but go to the dentist and I would never want my daughter to pick up on that and I don't think most parents would want that either.

Ours had a nice area that was for the children to color, draw, etc until it their turn, then when it came time for the dentist to talk with mom, the children were busy choosing their treat, getting new toothbrushes, etc.

As far as the gas issue, you should have been made aware of that beforehand. Why were they giving your child gas? Was it something other then a cleaning? If something other than a cleaning, I can see them using it but it still should only be used with parental consent. I know at my dentist, in the past, if he uses gas, I have to sign a consent form. As far as insurance coverage, I've never seen gas covered on dental insurance.

I would press to know why the gas was used but I would lighten up as far as insisting to be in the room.

A dentist should never give laughing gas without your ok. We received some literature about it and were asked before they went in if it were ok to use. Our first appt when the kids were 2 or 3 we went in with them . The next appt they asked us to wait in the waiting room. That was for cleanings.The kids are better without parents. It was harder on me than the kids.I would find a new dentist because of the laughing gas incident , Everything should be out in the open . good luck:)

You have a right to be upset. Gas for a cleaning??? That is ridiculous. I would find a new dentist. The dentist should have informed you about what was going to happen to get your consent. I take my kids (ages 3 and 5) to our family dentist. He is not a peds dentist but he is great with kids. I am allowed back with the kids every time -- it has never been an issue. Our dentist takes the approach with young kids that he is not going to force anything. If they resist a cleaning, they won't push it. I think my older son resisted a little once, they backed off and since then he has had no issues with allowing a cleaning. My younger son has been fine too.

I went back in with my son until he went to his 6 year cleaning. He also has sensory issues, and they needed me in their to keep him calm. Now he is fine to be by himself. I would rather not be in the room with him, as I get all nervous, and he senses it.

If you aren't allowed in the room, you should have been informed on everything they were going to do for your child's visit.

About the gas, that is another matter. They should have informed you that # 1 they were going to give him gas, and #2 that it was or was not going to be covered under your insurance plan. I would complain about that one for sure.

No, I don't think you are over reacting.
I think that is something they need your signed consent for. I also will not let her go in alone (she is only 5), and I don't care how nasty the staff gets with me. She had a crown put on to her molar when she was 4 and they strapped her down. I was so angry because she didn’t need to be and they didn’t let me know beforehand. Now she gets so upset going for a cleaning she usually throws up. It is awful I feel they have caused her to have high anxiety now.

I do not think you are overreacting. I can not believe that they gave him that for a cleaning. I did not think that they could give them something with out your permission? I don't even think they can do a Floride treatment with out parental consent.

Nope, I think that you are quite reasonable to expect to be with your child. I actually left a practice for partially this reason. The first time I took my son to this office...I think he was able 3 or so. I had them mail the paperwork in advance and confirmed that they took my insurance. So, I show up with paperwork all filled out and we are in the waiting room. Finally, we get called back and put in a room. Naturally, there were no childproof locks on drawers and doors, so I spent my time trying to keep my son out of the things that could hurt him. After about 45 minutes of waiting in the room, I got up with my son and walked out in the hall. They wanted to know if we needed the bathroom...I told them no and I was wondering if they had forgotton about us. THEN, they tell me that the dentist is running late because of an emergency. So we go back and sit down and the dentist comes in about 15 minutes later. One of the first things he started explaining to me was that they liked to work up to where they take the kids back by themselves. I let him know that I was completely uncomfortable with that situation and he couldn't understand why. WELL, I am not sending my 3 year old to sit in a room for an hour by himself....not going to happen! After that, I got a bill for $50 because they apparently didn't take my insurance. They then told me when I called that they only take some Avmed plans and not mine. Nevertheless, I never went back to that office...