Pet Etiquette- What's Your Opinion?

That's gross and I'd tell them not to bring the dog if they are going to let it pee all over the carpet.

No way in hell would I let someone bring their dog over and allow them to pee on my rugs. I WOULD say something. That is NOT ok in any universe.

There is no way in hell I'd let someone else bring their dog over to pee in my house! How rude! If my pet had an accident in someone else's house I'd be cleaning it up and apologizing ASAP. My mom has a dog that she lets pee in the house and there's no way she's allowed to bring it to mine. I'd be telling SIL to get a kennel because her dog was not allowed to come over and ruin my carpets and make my dogs think they need to re-mark that territory.

Gross. Shudder.

Okay... That over.

Her house, her rules. Your house, your rules. In my house, dogs on furniture & beds. At my mum's, he stays off the furniture.

Its one of the few ways that the pet/kid thing parallels.

My son is allowed to jump on my couch/ skate in the house, etc. as are his friends. At his friend's houses? He follows their rules. He's able to do some things there that he isn't allowed here, and doesn't do some things there that he does here.

There's no indebtedness. Its just common sense. Follow the rules of the house you're in.

how revolting!!! I would NOT want to be a visitor at HER HOME...

That is beyond disgusting. When I take my dog to someone else's home? He is house trained...he goes OUTSIDE to take care of his business.

No freaking way would allow someone - family, friend, etc. - to let their dog or cat or ANY ANIMAL for that matter - use my floors as their personal toilet bowl. And yes, I would ask nice the first time...and after that? get in their face...how freaking RUDE!!!!

IF she comes over again? Make it clear that her dog is NOT welcome UNLESS she makes sure it is house trained...and that does NOT mean using MY HOUSE AS A TOILET BOWL!!! Happens again? Hand her the stuff to clean up the mess in front of everyone.

No, you are not nitpicky. It would be completely inappropriate if a human being was behaving this way-- peeing on the floor and jumping on someone else's furniture. To let a pet pee and defecate all over in one's own home --and especially someone else's-- is just trashy. Sorry. That's just disgusting.

Your husband needs to lay down the law: the dog is ONLY welcome if she is willing to take it out regularly, keep it on the floor and out of ANY bed. That sort of behavior from your SIL is just vile. It doesn't matter *what* she lets the dog do at home or what she allows when other pets visit--your house, your rules. It's a pet, not a person. It stays on the floor at someone else's home, no matter what happens at their own home. I cannot fathom the mentality of a person who would let their animal pee all over the floor because they are too lazy to take it for a walk...and then think it was 'fine'.

FWIW, we do not allow any pets to visit our house. We have one cat, and when we go visiting, Kitty stays home with a sitter.

It is an affront to the dignity of dogs to allow them to urinate or defecate in any house. They are all, wonderful beings that are loaned to us for a very short time and we should do nothing to compromise this unique arrangement nor should we diminish their esteem, in any way, no matter how insignificant it may seem to us. Perhaps a picture of a small dog would be a more suitable pet for your SIL. Using simple math-a tiny 4" X 4" wee wee puddle, placed in a different spot each time, over a period of 15 years, several times a day-would cover about 12 acres-don't know anyone with a house large enough to accommodate this.

I don't actually think you should take a pet to someone else's house. And of course your pet should behave if for some reason you must take it to someone's home.

I want to suggest to you that being direct and telling your SIL that letting her dog pee on your floors, sleep in your kid's bed, or being on upholstered surfaces is not acceptable in your house is not being confrontive. It's being assertive. Say it when she first gets there so that you don't have angry emotions built up to color your words. Be calm, be direct, by sympathetic to the difficulty this is for her. Be firm and calmly remind her when she needs it.

You are being reasonable by expecting her to take care of her dog and follow the rules of the house. By not telling her you're allowing yourself to be a door mat.

IMO I think it is wrong to take your animal with you when you go visit with someone. Don't bring your dog to my house, or he has to live outside. I have taken a lot of time in my life to make sure my dog and cat do not pee on anything and go outside or use the cat box. I don't want another animal coming in here and possibly setting my animals up to mark their own territory. I think it is disgusting of your SIL to allow that, and I am really surprised that it didn't "fire you up" enough to say something. I'm wouldn't allow it, and you are not indebted to her for anything.

Obviously, SIL's dog is not housetrained and they don't feel that it's a priority in their home. So the dog is not going to magically not poop and pee indoors just because it is someone else's home, and SIL is not in the habit of taking the dog outside. Eww, gross. It's quite rude of your SIL to think that somehow you will be okay with their dog using inside your home as a toilet. If they decide to visit again, I would insist that they either leave the dog at home, make arrangements to have it boarded, or keep it crated while it's over. We just got a new puppy ourselves and when we went to my cousin's for Thanksgiving, I brought the puppy because it was going to be too long for him to be home alone and nobody to take him out. But I also brought him with his crate and cleaning supplies in case of an accident. I took him outside regularly, watched him like a hawk inside, and kept him crated when I couldn't watch him.

Wow that's just gross.
I wish I had some advice, but anyone who thinks it's okay or normal to let a dog urinate/defecate in the house probably isn't a rational or civilized person, and therefore isn't going to respond to rational/civilized advice.
Hopefully these overnight visits only happen a few times a year?

Wow, I am shocked to read this post!

I have a mini schnoodle (poodle/schnauzer mix, but my girl is more poodle) and she had potty-training mastered by the time she was 12 weeks old.

Poodles are extremely smart, and will learn most anything you teach them. Her poodle has learned to go inside. This goes against a dog's natural nature, especially a clean dog like a poodle. I can't believe they taught her that was OK. If something ever happens, and they have to give her up for some reason, she will have a hard time in any other home. People put dogs down for going in the house on a regular basis!

I'm so upset they did that to that poor dog. Not to mention I cannot believe how extraordinarily rude they were to let that dog do her business inside your home. WOW!

So no, you're not being nit-picky.

SMH

ETA: I would never get upset over an older, or sick, dog who has a mistake in the house. That's not the kind of situation I'm referring to.

I agree with Marda P., but I wouldn't wait until they arrive at your house to share that with her. I would tell her before she comes, so that if she is not willing to abide by your rules (your house, your rules), then she can choose to exercise other options (kennel/board the dog, get a dog sitter for her house while she is away, stay at a hotel, not come).

You absolutely do not need to feel rude or anything else because you want her to take the dog out to go to the bathroom. That is crazy! And sleeping in your child's bed, too? ugh.

ETA: Ditto Jane K's response, too. We never take our dog with us to other people's homes. She is very well behaved, but she is OUR dog, not theirs. And they shouldn't have to deal with having a dog there. I prefer that guests not bring theirs to my home as well. Not because I don't like them, but because it can stress out OUR dog and adds an element of stress to ME worrying about what the other person's animal might do. My dog knows the rules of OUR house, but the not the rules of YOUR house.... and they may not be the same rules. We are pretty strict with our dog (not on any of the furniture, including beds, no table food, not NEAR the table when we eat, etc). I have had my kids at a relatives where they are at the table and a dog is sticking it's head into their laps trying to get to their plates! I don't want that in MY house. Keep it at home, please. Our dog was taught manners and it is totally inappropriate for them to be anywhere near the table (except maybe asleep lying down underneath it). Begging or trying to steal food while the meal is going on?! Forget it.
I keep my dog at home when we go to visit. And I prefer my guests do the same.

Dog piss in my house is enough to get me fired up...confront her and tell her she has to take the dog outside to pee.

This is one of my biggest gripes w/ people! My parents dogs pee all over their house and its disquisting! I wont spend much time there, and make my kids keep thier shoes on!
We just moved recently and have had to go back "home" for multiple visits. I would clear it w/ whoever we were staying w/ if we were bringing our dogs. They are housebroken, but when you take male dogs in to homes w/ unfamiliar males dogs, you never know. So I watch my male like a HAWK. I take him out constantly and if he starts sniffing too much, he's outside!
You have every right to tell her that you do not want an animal peeing in YOUR HOUSE! If she can't get her taken out, then she shouldnt bring the dog. Period. Shes irresponsible and completely RUDE and disrespectful to you! How gross!

Oh good grief.
SIL isn't a responsible pet owner.
How gross, letting her dog pee in the house wherever and she doesn't even bother taking them out unless it is convenient for her.
Her house must be an unsanitary stinking mess.
Ugh. Ick. Yuck.

Per your paragraph #3: No. You are not indebted to her.

I would have said something.

Do they have kids or only that dog? If she has kids, does she let them pee wherever and on the rugs?

Again, she is not a responsible pet owner. Why, does she even have a dog?
She doesn't take care of it.

Then, does she even CLEAN up the mess and bodily fluids that her pet... does on her rugs and all over her house??? Or she just leaves it there?
She sounds, off.

Is that something that people with tiny dogs do? Here in MN where we have regular sized dogs, we take them out. I can't imagine a dog here peeing inside, I've never seen that in my whole 40 years.

You are completely right. That is disgusting. Period.

Wha...???!!! NO. You are not being nit picky. I'd tell her to leave her dog home.

Blech. No way, no how. Your house, your rules...and how is "we don't allow pee and poo on our floors" an unreasonable rule in ANY context???
Would you say something if SIL hiked up her skirt to cop a squat in the corner??

Very odd. That poor dog. And no, you are not being nit picky.

Wow! Who lets their dogs pee on rugs? How odd!
You have every right to tell her to take her dogs outside to pee, or at ghe very least, use pee pads!
And if your dog isn't allowed on furniture at your house, why would it be allowed at her house?

This is why dogs are best left at home in their crates. I have a dog who is not always good about communicating it's time to go and he has accidents in MY home, my dog my problem. I do not bring him anywhere. My other dog is just fine with this and has no issues, we OCCASIONALLY bring him when we are going to Grandma's. I can think of two occasions where we brought him over & we have no issues taking him home (8min away) if he is a problem. We allow our dogs on the furniture and we allow our dogs in our bed(s) not everyone does, my dog would not come to your home due to that - he makes himself comfy. I think you need to have a serious discussion about pets/rules/your home and I also think you should be willing to leave it at pets stay home.

Pets should not be brought to visit other people's houses.
If they are too cheap to hire a pet sitter, then they can board them at a kennel.

Oh come on, are you kidding? Of course you are not obligated to let someone's dog pee in your house, no matter what idiotic thing they let your dog do in their home.

I've never heard of someone expecting people to let their dog pee all over the place. This takes the cake. If they are too lazy to take their dog out, then you or your husband need to do it.

Man, between this question and the one entitled "SCREWED UP," I'm all fired up and I won't be able to sleep. Get some gonads, people.

I would be mortified if my dog peed in someone else's house. And there is NOTHING that would obligate me to allow someone else's dog to pee in mine.
If my dog wasn't allowed on the furniture at home, I wouldn't allow him on someone else's either, even if they said it was okay. I would just have to retrain him to stay off when we got home.
My dog actually IS allowed on my furniture and sleeps in my bed with me, but it my host did not want animals on the furniture, then he would not be allowed on their furniture.

OMG................. I have been a "dog person" my entire life, surrounded by various dogs or different breeds and sizes, and I have NEVER even ONCE come across any other person who came close to this mentality with a pet! I know people who leave their dogs outside 24/7, which bugs me too, (another post I guess), and don't train their dogs, who treat them like actual kids, who don't treat their actual kids as well as the dog, who have kids who get injured by the pet, etc, etc, etc. THIS one I have to say is unique, but VERY EASY! Simply tell her NO! No more bringing her dog to your house at any time because she is disrespectful of your home, your child's room and bed, and basically YOU. It's that simple. Who on earth allows their dog to intentionally go to the bathroom INSIDE the house??? I mean, does she potty train her children?? OMG! That really is the definition of lazy!! (sorry if this sounds cruel, but it is) I wouldn't go to her home either, for fear of what type of nastyness is festering there. How long has the dog been soiling on her carpets and the padding underneath it, and what type of bacteria is growing there. ICK! You cannot tell me that a woman who is too lazy to take her dog outside to do it's business is actually cleaning up after that same animal really well. No way! As far as allowing the dog to sleep in your child's bed, well, that's SO wrong too! I don't care if her dog is clean or not, or if YOUR dog does it or not, you didn't TELL HER SHE COULD!! It's wrong! Also, think of all of the places that her dog's feet have been, walking on the carpet and on the floor in it's own pee and poop. You KNOW that she isn't cleaning her dogs feet. So nasty! Yeah, I would just tell her to keep Fido at home or not to come over again. No big deal. IF she doesn't like it too damn bad! Some times you have to just stand up for yourself and your family! Good luck on this! Stay strong!!

I love my dog, but he needs to do his business out doors AND, one must always have a clean up bag for the big jobs. You are within your rights and your husband needs to set his family straight.

Okay, it's one thing to say, "I won't walk my dog like I do at home" but it's another to say "I'm going to let her pee on YOUR rug because I'm lazy and she does it at home." It is not hard to take a dog out in the yard for 2 minutes, even if you don't walk it.

It is NOT too much and if my own mother's dog did that, I would ask her to not bring the dog. I agree with a pet sitter or neighbor to let the dog out. Give a responsible teen some spending money. Besides damage to your home and rugs (which may not be as washable as hers), animals tend to mark on top of other animals' scents in their territory. You might end up with pee everywhere from your dog, just trying to reclaim territory. So, NO, her dog needs to stay home or go outside. She is a guest. Her behavior should be BETTER than at home.

Same goes with kids, really. Your house, your rules. And you can change your rules when you know more/better.

I'm sorry, but I would make it clear that next time she isn't to bring the dog. That's absolutely disgusting, allowing the dog to pee inside the house.

Not nik picky at all. Your sil is lazy. It's your house so if you don't want to clean up after a dog then you need to tell her to get the dog outside to pee and poop or leave the dog home.

I'm really hoping it's a small dog we are talking about.

The peeing is a no go, sure dogs have accidents, but to 'not' take the dog out to pee is just pure and simple laziness, and gross, did I say gross? I would have no problem telling someone to walk their dog. I have 4 dogs 2 of which have to be walked and 2 that we can just let out to do their buisness. If I was already going to walk a dog I would be fine with taking theirs at the same time, but she shouldn't be relying on you guys to do it.

I know some people don't like dogs on the couches, and recently faced this issue when my female had to stay at a friends house. They don't allow their dog on the couches, but we do so instead of making mine stay off she put put out a blanket and just redirected my dog to that spot. It worked and was a good compromise for everyone. Just a thought.

As for sleeping....the sheets can be washed.

Oh wow. That is so disgusting. I have two dogs, my in-laws have two, most of my friends have at least one....and I've never heard of anyone just allowing their dogs to pee in the house. Of course you are in your rights to expect your guests to take their pets out to do their business and not let them just go on your floor. No brainer.

Not only would that dog not be welcome in my house but I would be calling the health department about their house. It happens to be against the law to allow your dog to potty in the house unless you have potty pads. It is also a health issue and they can remove the pet and any children living there. If it is bad enough the house can be condemmed.

not picky. say something

Two words:

PET SITTER.

Yes, they can find ones who will work on Christmas Day, Christmas Eve, any holiday. And kennels that will take dogs over a holiday or for just one night.

Same goes for you when you go to their house: If you don't want your dog to learn bad habits there because it's allowed to jump on their furniture but not yours, etc., leave your dog at home if it's for the day, or with friends or in a reputable kennel if it's overnight. Your dog and theirs will indeed survive one night at a good kennel. Doing this eliminates all the questions of who peed where.

I'm sure they are the types who will insist that their "baby" absolutely must come with them every-bloody-where they go. It's not a baby. It's a pet.

You and especially your husband -- it's HIS sister -- must tell her flat out, the dog can only come if it does all its business outside, including peeing, every time, period. Either that or she does not spend the night and comes only for day visits with the dog left at home.

You and your husband both need to stand up to this because she is simply being a pushy bully putting an animal ahead of people -- and it's just nasty and germy.

Will she pay for it when you eventually have to have your floors redone due to the dog's urine that soaked through the carpets? Dog urine will ruin even concrete and definitely destroys wood. Disgusting. Stop letting her bully you like this and never take your dog to her home. Don't let her turn it into a big stinking deal -- just smile and change the subject when she whines and fusses about it. Tell her you love seeing her but peeing on the floor isn't allowed for ANY species in your house.

Show her this post!