I know this is a topic discussed a lot on here and many other sites, but I would greatly appreciate your responses after reading my lengthy post. I have tries to break it up so it will be easier to read. Thanks for reading!
I have an extremely picky eater who has just turned 2. It is getting worse and worse, which I know is common for the age, but I would like him to eat something for dinner. When he chooses not to eat, he has such a hard time falling asleep . . . who wouldn't when the stomach is empty! And when he wakes up he is so hungry for breakfast that he is shaking in between bites of oatmeal.
I feel like we have tried every trick in the book: not fighting with him, fighting with him, using dips, funny names, new foods combined with favorites, limiting soy milk, repeat exposure of foods, making food "fun" with cookie cutters or silly designs, getting his help while grocery shopping/ cooking, serving little portions, serving only what we eat, serving something special for him, colorful foods, etc. I know there are other things we have tried, but this is what has come to my mind so far.
On a regular day, my son eats oatmeal for breakfast, or occasionally cold cereal, and fruit if he is still hungry. We are a hot/cold cereal type of family, and have not had any issues with this arrangement, but are thinking that maybe we should switch it up to get him to eat other foods. At lunch time, the only thing he will eat is a soy nut butter and jam sandwich, and goes back and forth eating any fruit or veggie served. He will eat the fruit/veggies sometimes, and other times not, but this seems typical in a toddler, not overly picky. If I serve anything other than a soy nut butter and jam sandwich, he refuses to eat at all. Lately, at dinner time, he will not eat at all . . . even things he used to love. He has never been very fond of meat in any form (except ham bites or turkey dogs), but used to eat veggies and fruits no problem. For snacks (1-2 a day), he will only eat typical snack foods- graham crackers, club crackers, rice cakes, animal crackers, fruits (sometimes), cereal, etc. When I do offer other snacks, he refuses everything. My husband and I would be satisfied if he would just try the food on his plate ... one small bite of each, but that is an extreme struggle.
He is a very stubborn little boy, and has gone to bed with an empty stomach on more than one occasion. We have tried serving only what we eat, thinking he will eat when he is hungry, but it does not seem to work. I also struggle with the fact that my little boy will constantly tell me "I'm hungry, I'm hungry" with a sad look and tears in his eyes when we refuse to give into his pickiness. My plan most days is to offer him soy milk only at meal times, and water the rest of the day, but I am not sure what to do about the little boy standing in front of my fridge crying and asking for soy milk. It is usually not crying and throwing a tantrum, but tears of genuine sadness. Telling him no in a loving way does not cut it, and neither does putting him on a time out for whining etc.
My son is so picky that he does not even eat things that most toddlers go crazy for . . . we give him a little sampling of everything we eat, including dessert if we have it. Getting him to even taste a sweet treat is like torturing him! Even chicken nuggets get the cold shoulder (homemade and frozen).
My son has a milk protein allergy, and we must avoid all dairy, tree nuts, peanuts, and shellfish. I had taken him to the doctor last month to check his growth and get a referral to the nutritionist, since he has dietary restriction and is very picky, but the pediatrician we saw refused to put in a referral because she said he was not having failure to thrive or obesity (which I guess is a good thing!) I will be bringing this up at the 2 year physical at the end of this month though because the last appointment we went to was not with his regular pediatrician, and she might have a different perspective.
Do you have any advice, or tips on what has worked for you and your children? Or maybe just some words of encouragement? I think my concern is greater that it would be because everything I have been told by the pediatrician as well as read in books/online suggest that toddlers will eat balanced if you look at the full week, and not just on a daily basis, but I know he does not do this . . . of course he still gains weight, when he will only eat grains and drink soy milk! Thank you for your help!
Take him to a buffet and let him pick what he puts on his plate. Every time we tooks the kids to a buffet they discovered a new food that they would eat.
We recently made changes in my sons diet. We went Gluten free. he was not eating any veggies, barley any dinner.
After changing to GF, he is eating all 3 meals most days. (sometimes he gets too many snacks during the day).
We noticed that when he had pancakes, he would not eat much for the next meal if anything. We thought it was becuase it was filling. I am finding out that it was making him gasey and filling him up because his body was trying to process it.
Call your nurse at the dr office.. see what they say.
Good luck.
My son was just like this and he still is pretty darn picky (but better) at age 8. He would just not eat if he didn't like what was served and he is still this way. He would rather go to bed hungry than eat something he does not like...over and over and over again. He almost never learned to like something by having it served 20 times (or whatever they say). He never gave in. He never liked all the toddler snacks the other kids would eat and he still does not like these things! Going to school helped him a little tiny bit bc he tried some new things with peer pressure. Getting older has helped a tiny bit but still to this day he will eat just a few bites and say he is full if he does not like what is served (and this could be a food he usually likes). It is VERY frustrating. I believe for him it is a sensory issue...texture and just the way something looks will put him off. The way something feels in his mouth is important to him and he really likes his regular "comfort" foods. He seems almost terrified when presented with new foods. Now that he is older he knows he has to take one bite of everything on his plate...but he never likes the new thing. He loves milk but I make sure not to give him too much bc he would happily fill up on it. I do make sure there is one thing he will eat each meal time. School lunches are impossible - he eats almost nothing at school and I am not there to encourage him to eat something. I even pack his lunch with some foods he likes but he will eat very little. His mood swings are crazy bc he gets so hungry. He is a very stubborn and very smart kid...he's a challenge. I have learned to not worry so much and to not take it personally. I just serve the food and he can make his own choices. I have spent so much time worrying about this or getting extremely frustrated. Now I am more detached. He has learned to like some new foods as he has gotten older but not many. What has made me feel so much better about this was having his little sister when he was 5. She is 3 now and she is normal in her eating habits. She likes food in general and is not afraid to try something new. She loves most foods. She loves dipping things. She may be picky one meal but it's really just her mood at that time and she usually eats just fine. She eats pretty much everything even salad. Watching her has made me really realize my son was just born that way and all I can do is make healthy delicious meals and offer them to him. He is an active, strong boy and although he is thin the doctor says he has great muscle tone and is growing very well. I have tried every suggestion ever made and I have read just about every book and article on this! Anyway, good luck with your little boy and try not to feel too frustrated. Just try to get calories in him!
What worked for me was giving my son what I knew he'd eat.
The majority of ppl told me his appetite would change soon and it did right about the time he was 2 to 2 1/2.
Their tastebuds are starting to mature at this stage/age.
Hang in there & still try to offer the food you know/think he will eat.
Give him the soy milk. My son liked milk at that age. I talked to the ped & he said he'd most likely start changing soon and he did. Ever so slowly.
Keep offering what you know he will eat.
Still always offer new food in the hopes that this is the time he will start trying new foods.
Keep giving him the snacks you mentioned & always continue to try to give him something you are eating (a bite of it) or put "toddler type" foods on his plate. Keep trying the chicken nuggets.
Do you think it is a sensory thing. If so...get a referral to an OT. My son just started feeding therapy for this exact thing. Just keep calling around and asking about feeding therapy or working with an OT...if its sensory. And you will know. Your son will be overly or under sensitive to smell, touch, taste, or noise...or all of them.
Hey! I feel your pain. I have three kids, the youngest about six months older than yours. They have all been different when it comes to food, but my third one is the most like yours. My pediatrician pretty much told me not to worry about it, and not restrict her milk too much. Remember that he is still pretty young. Yes, he should be eating a fair amount of food, but milk still plays a bit role in his diet. My son would eat a reasonable dinner, but still be hungry sometimes before bed, so for a little bit we built in a very plain snack after dinner (a few crackers and cheese in his case). My little one is coming around now (she was on strike for a while, only eating pasta and virtually no meat / protein). They go through these phases, which feel like they last forever, but he will come around. Keep offering one thing you know he likes, and a couple of other choices, but don't overwhelm him or turn it into a battle. One thing that we did find that worked with all three of them is the drive by eating. They would sit with us for a few mintues, then get down to play and come up for bites in passing. This phase lasted for about three months with each, but they ate and we didn't battle it out.
Now all three of them sit and eat like reasonably normal people, so this too shall pass!
Have you tried eggs? My kids would eat scrambled eggs, and they are very nutritious. (And cheap, quick and easy)
I don't have experience with it, but many of the other moms who come on this site do, and hopefully will chime in, and his level of pickiness makes me wonder if he might have an issue with textures. (your list of things he will eat seems to include a lot of crunchy cracker type foods).
Or does he simply like the salty aspect? If you think that is the case, that would make me check with the doctor's office.
Some people are just picky eaters. It's like a variation on SPD or something. I know two people who grew up eating, respectively, NOTHING but plain noodles, and only hot dogs and garbanzo beans. They both participated in competitive athletics and went to Yale and Princeton, respectively. Both have enviable careers in hyper-competitive fields. One claims to have never -- literally never -- eaten a vegetable in his life.
Which is a way of encouraging you to take this in stride. A balanced diet is optimal, but people can clearly thrive on something less ideal.
I'd be concerned about the constant desire for cereal, crackers, rice cakes, sandwich bread. All carbs, no protein. He'll eat a few fruits/veggies on occasion, but they have no protein either. The only protein on your list is soy milk and soy butter. He's craving the soy milk so he is craving protein. He's also not eating much in the way of healthy fats.
I agree he may have a texture issue. And you are avoiding certain other foods. I work with families who use a soy powder supplement with all the vitamins/minerals needed, and also DHA for healthy brain development. It can be added to water and to soy milk and it's delicious. If you can add something like that in, then I'd give it to him at meals and also at snack time. You can also begin to hide nutrition in other things, but not until you get him to eat those other things, you know? I'm pretty experienced at hiding nutrition in pancakes and burgers and muffins, but I think the supplement makes the most sense. I have several friends who've used it and actually reduced or eliminated their kids food "allergies" so it's extremely beneficial. Not all supplements are the same but I use one developed by scientists who developed infant formulas and who use very high standards.
one thing you might try is at every dinner make sure there's something on his plate you KNOW he will eat. That way he does eat SOMETHING every night. If he chooses to eat the other things or not is his choice but eating is one thing they CAN control as a toddler. You can not force him to eat.
Do you have a W.I.C. program in your area? If so, call them and make an appointment with one of their nutritionists.
Please take a look at the article SH shared. Based on the types of foods your son is eating, and the fact that he does claim to be hungry, makes me think this is something that needs to be watched.
Being a picky eater as a toddler and young child is very normal, but there are people with real food phobias, and if that's the case then the normal methods of enticing your son to eat won't work.
Good luck, I know how hard it is to struggle with a child who won't eat (I would share more but my daughter's case was an anxiety/germ based fear so it's not quite the same.)
