Picky Eater - Chicago,IL

I don't have any advice for you, I just wanted you to know that you're not alone. I am going through the same thing with my 16 month old right now. It is very frustrating and I have come to dread mealtimes because every new food I try to give her she pushes away, drops on the floor, or screams "No!" I am hoping it is just a phase. Hang in there.

My 4 yr old was the same way. We just kept giving her a variety of foods for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Dinner was our main issue. She did not eat dinner for almost a year and a half. We held steady, as frustrating as it was, our Dr. told us not to give in to the short order cook thing, instead this is what we are eating and that is that. We did not make a big deal out of it, you do not want to eat, don't eat. We do give our kids a small dessert after dinner now. They are 4 and almost 3. They get one of every color m&m or something small if they eat their dinner. they ask for fruit on occassion. This takes the pressure off us, you do not eat dinner, no dessert (this is the only "junk" food they get throughout the day, so they look forward to this treat.) We do not make a big deal out of it, no dinner no dessert...your choice.
Good luck, I KNOW it is frustrating. I think the bigger deal you make of it, the worse it gets. Just put things on her plate and if she does not eat, that is her choice. She will eat when she is hungry.

Wow - I just read the article that Nancy A provided below...does anyone remember the movie Mommy Dearest!! Yikes!

My pediatrician said it is perfectly normal for toddlers to go through times when they dont eat. Her advice was to just keep trying to give them the nutritious foods everyday and eventually they will try them and eat them. Some foods they still wont like, just like i am sure that there are foods you dont like, and I truly dont think that starving them till they eat is the best alternative.

As long as your child is eating something, and drinking milk/water/juice they will be fine. If it goes on for too long call your ped for advice rather than take the Mommy Dearest route!

Also, have you tried serving the foods in different ways? For example, my son used to love chicken nuggets when they were cut up in pieces, now he only eats them if he can have them whole and I help him take bites from the whole piece, I know it is weird, but sometimes the way the food is served makes a big difference to a toddler. Just a thought.

Hope this helps!

There is a great book by William G Wilkoff, MD called Coping with a Picky Eater that every parent or provider of kids should read and have a copy of. http://www.amazon.com/Coping-Picky-Eater-Perplexed-Parent...

This book has what I call the Picky Eater Plan. I have used this plan with kids that literally threw up at the sight of food and within 2 weeks they were eating normal amounts of everything and trying every food.

First you need to get everyone who deals with the child on board. If you are a provider it's ok to make this the rule at your house and not have the parents follow through but you wont' see as good results as what I described up above.

The plan is to limit the quantities of food you give the kid. When I first start with a child I give them literally ONE bite worth of each food I am serving. The book suggests that every time you feed the kids (breakfast, morning snack, lunch, afternoon snack, dinner) you give all 4 food groups. So, for lunch today I would have given the child one tiny piece of strawberry, one spoonful of applesauce, 3 macaroni noodles with cheese on them, and 2 oz of milk. Only after they ate ALL of what was on their plate would you give them anything else. They can have the same amounts for seconds. If they only want more mac and cheese, they only get 3 noodles then they would have to have more of all the other foods in order to get more than that. If they don't eat, fine. If they don't finish, fine. Don't make a big deal out of it, just make them stay at the table until everyone else is done eating. BUT make sure they get no other food till they are sat at the next meal and they only get what you serve. When I first do this with a child I don't serve sweets at all. So no animal crackers for snack but rather a carrot for snack. Or one of each of those. I don't make it easy for them to gorge on bad foods in other words. Now if they had a meal where they ate great then I might make the snack be a yummy one cause I know they filled up on good foods.

Even at snacks you have to limit quantities of the good stuff or else they will hold out for snack and just eat those snacky foods. I never give a picky eater the reward of a yummy snack unless they had that great lunch prior to it.

It really is that easy.

Not sure if this is what is going on, but my 17 month old has suddenly decided he only wants "big" food. That is, he wants the whole piece of toast or a whole banana - he won't eat it if I cut it up into small pieces. I am a bit nervous about the possibility of choking, but I'm not sure the risk is really any higher. Just a thought!

It's just a phase. Don't stress it. She'll eat when she's ready. She's not going to starve or be seriously deprived of nutrients. I have to remind myself the same thing because my 20 month old has been picky since she was 9 months and stopped eating baby food. She eventually tries new stuff and I'm surprised at what she'll end up eating. Just keep trying new stuff and don't force it. She should be fine.

There was about a two month time period when the ONLY thing my daughter would eat at that age was macaroni and cheese. I could barely get her to eat breakfast, lunch was always a disaster, but dinner was good because it was mac n cheese every single night. At least I knew she was eating one full meal every day! It's normal, they all do this. Good luck!

My first became picky at this age as well. I wouldn't push it especially if she is stubborn because she will just get worse. You will have to decide if you want to cater to her or not. But if you cater to her be prepared for struggles for a long time. I think if you decide a plan of how you will deal with meal times and sick to it she will eventually be fine. If she doesn't eat for a few dinners here or there she will not starve. I found that sticking to one dinner for the whole family is the best way to go. Making sure that each night there is something for every one. I serve family style and there is usually a pasta, protein, carrots with dip or salad (both with ranch dressing), they also like dipping zucchini and broccoli. None of them like them warm, so if I do cook them I only cook them for a very short time and don't over cook so they still like it. Kids have to see any certain food something like 25 times before they even feel like they want to try it. I don't make my kids try everything they serve themselves or tell me what to put on their plate. Our other rule about food is that they need to eat healthy before they have treats. So if they choose not to eat dinner they don't get a dessert. Pick your course of action, stick to it and this too shall pass.

I get really frustrated when mine don't want to try new things either. They know the rules now though. They are five and three and know that they have to try a bite of everything on their plate. They still try to turn their noses up from time to time, but they know the rules.

When they were that age I would put a variety on their plate and if they didn't want to try something new, then I would take everything off that they liked and tell them they could have it if they tried the new food. With the youngest I had to literally put the new food on the plate and then have another plate with the foods she liked. I would tell her if she tried one bite off the new food (I decided what a bite was), chewed it and swallowed it...then she could have the other plate with the things she liked. She normally didn't give me much of a fight.

But I'm a mean mommy and I know they won't starve to death if they miss a meal. So if by chance she wouldn't try the new food, then she didn't eat. I don't remember if I ever had to do that, but I know on occasion she doesn't want to finish the little portions I give her so she knows she doesn't get any in between meal snacks then.

Both girls wouldn't eat potato of any kind for the longest. But each meal time I had them, they had to try them. Recently they both decided that they like baked potatoes now. My oldest has decided she likes tomatoes. Both will eat beans pretty easily now too. It is a process but her father and I are diligent and consistent. You try everything on your plate. It doesn't matter if you have tried it five hundred times before.

That age try the two plates. Keep the one out of reach with the food she likes and tell her she can have it if she eats one bite of the new food.

Dear I.- I just read a terrific article on this very topic, and had to go back to my history page to find it, but it's well worth it! The link is http://www.nogreaterjoy.org/articles/child-training/toddl...
If this doesn't work for you, go to www.no greaterjoy.org, and I'm sure you'll find it. It is a practical, step by step article that I highly recommend. Blessings- N.