My son has decided that it's time for him to get his ears pierced. Both of them. Several of the kids that he hangs out with at his middle school have them pierced, so it's apparently not against school policy. However, I am apprehensive about this new group of friends, as my son's behavior has become increasingly belligerent since hanging out with them. On the other hand, we originally told our daughter that she had to wait until 14 to get her ears pierced, but due to good grades and responsible actions, we surprised her for her 10th birthday. Now I feel like a hypocrite if I tell my son "No". My husband doesn't have a problem with it, though if I pushed the issue, he'd back me up.
We're not a piercing/tatoo family, so this is out of my comfort zone. Advice?
Well, I decided to go ahead and let him do it. He picked 5MM diamond posts, and honestly, I think he's feeling a bit silly. So who knows how long this will last! It's his $$, so it'll be his loss. It's not like a tattoo, though I have a feeling that when he's in college, one of those may be in his future, too. His sister begged and begged for YEARS to get hers pierced, and now I can hardly get her to wear earrings! I tried to talk him into the smaller diamond posts, but he insisted on the bigger bling. Goofy kids... :-)
I agree with the 2 previous people-the issue here isn't whether he should get his ears pierced-it's about his behavior. Why should he be rewarded for his bad attitude that he's been having? Getting his ears pierced should be a privilidge not a right. Why do parents worry about what their kids will think of them instead of being in control and discipling their kids.
I say use it as a reward for grades, behavior, whatever you think is OK and let him do it. He can always take them out. As far as the holes staying forever, as long as he dosen't start gauging them (making the holes bigger and bigger) noone will ever notice. My husband had his done for years and can still get an earring through them. Our 2 year old thinks it is the funniest thing ever when he puts on mommy's earrings! Why pick this one? There will be way bigger battles to fight! Good luck!
I'm with Susan. I would be MUCH more concerned about the influence of this group and his changed behavior. You could use the piercing as a reward for grades & behavior. You could also talk to him about your concerns. Tell him you are not happy that he wants to do this because of what friends are doing. Or, you could stall or postpone the idea.
On a similar note, my 15 year old daughter asked if she could get her navel pierced. She is an honor student, and has generally great behavior, but I was kind of freaked out. My husband came up with a good suggestion. We told we thought 15 was kind of young, it was too sexually suggestive for her age, and said that if she still wants to do it at age 17, we'd reconsider. She was really OK with that! It gave us a way not to have to say NO emphatically, and we believe she may change her mind in a few years. Also, at 17, she'll be mature enough to consider it differently.
I mention this story as an idea for postponing the piercing idea.
Good luck!
I agree with Lindee. Pick your battles... this isn't that big a deal these days. If you don't fight him on this, you may get further on other issues. GL!
This is a tough one B.. How are his grades? Can you hold him off and use it as a prize.......buy some time in case he changes his mind. I might consider being honest. Girls don't regret getting their ears pierced, but sometimes boys might. Can you tell him if he really wants to do it you will respect that, but that you want him to wait until the end of the summer to be sure? If he doesn't throw a fit then you will know this is about peer pressure. He may want an easy out.
double check the school policy so that they can be the BAD guys if you are not wanting him to get this done.
Maybe set up a contract that if he does X, Y, and Z then as far as grades/behavior goes then he can get his ears pierced....
a little humor: move to Allen boys in K-8 may not have earrings... j/k
:0)
I don't think it has anything to do if you are a piercing/tattoo family or not.
He is finding himself. I agree with Jodi and Lindee T. Pick your battles. It is not that big of a deal and it could be worse!!!!
Good luck
NO! The holes stay forever. Boys don't wear earrings forever but girls do!
Hi B.,
I would be more concerned about this new group of friends that he is hanging out with than about the ear piercing. What other types of things are they going to encourage him to do?? I would call the counselors at his middle school and find out the actual school policy on piercing. I would also find out the athletic policy--can you participate in athletics with earrings?? I would ask the counselors about the behavior of this particular group of "new friends" . I do know a few boys that have had their ears pierced and they are good kids--they did it as a fashion statement or because their friends did it.
But if this group is causing your son to be more belligerent, I would be more concerned about that. Do you know the parents of these kids? If you don't I would get to know them. And at 14, they still need transportation from parents.
