Piggyback to Inlaws and Opting Out of Easter

Updated on April 09, 2012
E.S. asks from Hackettstown, NJ
16 answers

Hi everyone.

I mentioned yesterday that i see my inlaws three times a week because they are lovingly helping me out while I finish an online class. During "normal" weeks I see them twice a week bc they want to be involved with DD.

So yesterday, I was going to opt out of Easter for downtime. I wound up going despite my husband's free pass.

This got me thinking that I actually see my inlaws more than their own son, so it's only natural that I would want a break.

So how often do you see your inlaws?

What can I do next?

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M.L.

answers from Chicago on

My father in law and brother in law - maybe once a month. My sister in law - it's sporadic. She'll come get the kids one day on a weekend and we may see her a couple more times that month and then not see her for a few months. My in laws all live in a 20 mile drive - not like they live far away or anything.

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H.M.

answers from Dallas on

If we are lucky we see mil and step-fin once a year. They live half way accross the US from us. My sin and bin we see at birthdays usually not holidays as those are spent with my family. Before mil moved off and got married we did more stuff together.

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E.S.

answers from Dayton on

Too often. ;)
After 3 hours yesterday, I was ready to run away screaming.

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C.C.

answers from Washington DC on

Holidays and birthdays mostly because they live 6 hrs away unless something major happens but I LOVE my IL and my family lives on the west Coast so this is all my children have around here. With the passing of the grandparents last year I wish it was more because your children will never get this time back

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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

I'd love to be able to answer this question, but both of mine passed many years ago.

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B.P.

answers from Cleveland on

i LIVE with them, (not actually in laws yet but pretty damn close

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K.P.

answers from New York on

Average month- we go there for dinner once, but we get together for EVERY birthday and holidays. My MIL lives about 20 minutes away and my family is in FL, so aside from Christmas (always with my parents) we are with my in-laws. Because of the birthday thing... some months we see them every-other-week and sometimes we go longer.

My husband goes to his mother's house at least once a week to check on her and maintain the house (fairly recent widow) and we go with him when we can. My BIL lives an hour away, but may as well live in Siberia for as often as we see him. My SIL lives about 30 minutes away and we see her and her family once a month or so.

My husband isn't overly close with his family and they are VERY different than we are, so we see them pretty often but not on a weekly basis.

My niece (my age) and her husband and children are very close with us- we have a standing dinner date once a month with them so that the cousins can play together.

I definitely see my MIL more often than my BIL does- but not as often as my hubs visits his mom to help out.

B.S.

answers from Lansing on

At least twice a week...sometimes 3, sometimes only once a week. But the norm is 2 times a week.

My IL's still watch one of my daughters 2 times a week for a half day. But next year she will be in full time school like her sister so it will not be very often.

And lucky you....I would NEVER get an out on a holiday. :) But good for your for going!

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S.B.

answers from Houston on

Saw them yesterday! Generally speaking, once a month or less and we live 1.5 hours away. I haven't seen my niece and nephew (brother's kids) in a couple of years. We are going up this summer. I see my dad often and I will visit with my mom each month. But she doesn't know who I am so those visits are hard! Wow, I need to visit my brother and his family more often. But in my defense, he's not banging my door down either!

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

My MIL passed away a few years ago and I miss her every day at least once. My FIL is still with us and lives about 14 miles away. He depends on us to dog sit my MIL's aged miniature dachshund when he goes shopping or had other errands. I clean his house every Friday and he gives me a gasoline card in his name for only gasoline...he said if he ever sees a charge for a Dr. Pepper though, the card is gone.

I enjoy spending time with him, his is an awesome man. He was born in 1930 and right now is traveling over the USA teaching people how to be local and regional judges in gemstone cutting competitions. He is an amazing man, he paints with oils, he decorates cakes, he sews and does embroidery by machine then sells his creations, he is funny and serious and I am going to miss him terribly some day.

I realize how short life is and want to spend as much time with family as possible. They might be gone this afternoon and I would feel regret if I didn't get to have memories of time spent together as a family.

I think Easter is one day I would have gone, taken the kiddos and let them all be together to hunt Easter Eggs and take tons of pictures. If it had just been a Sunday dinner then I might have taken the day off but not a family type holiday.

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R.Y.

answers from New York on

My in laws live over 1000 miles away in another state so we see them for 2 weeks every summer unless there is some other big occasion. However, I do send my MIL updates on the kids, pictures and other news so sometimes I am more up to date than my husband (who is lucky if he remembers to call more than once a month). I think it's common for women to make an extra effort to encourage family relationships.

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S.H.

answers from St. Louis on

when my FIL was alive....a few times each year. Dreaded every moment of it.

after my MIL was a widow...as often as possible. She was a saint!

since my MIL's death, the family has drifted further apart. Once a year, unless there is a milestone party. My DH hates how his family is non-functioning....but we truly can say we have tried. Family interaction cannot be a one-way street!

Now, flipping all of this, my DH sees my family regularly! We enjoy our time together. We do all events together....sometimes even vacations!

As for your "free pass"....& seeing your ILs more than their own son: it shouldn't be based on whether or not they're your ILs....it should be based on whether or not you enjoy your time with them!

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J.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

one or two times a month. they live about an hour away. THEY are the ones who opt out of things like Easter. They had given up buffets for lent so yesterday was the first opportunity they could go. So why see your grandkids? They went to vegas for thanksgiving and for Christmas. Oh well.

M.L.

answers from Houston on

When we lived close (like 5 miles away) we saw them about two-three a month. Now, we live about 6 hours away and see them about 4 times a year.

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S.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

I also see them more often than my husband! They watch my kids 1 or 2 days a week. So there are a few pick-up/drop-off interactions a week. It's always a lot of chatting in between when I would prefer to grab my kids and go after a long day at work!

Then the weekend comes and I am not in any hurry to hang out with them... but my husband sometimes is. Sigh. And the kids can't get enough of their grandparents so off we go :)

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M.C.

answers from Colorado Springs on

Typically, about once a year. Same for my parents. You are really blessed!

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