I wish someone had told me that I was going to give birth to a hard partying college student who likes to get charged up around 11:00 nearly every night and not want to sleep until about 3:00 in the morning, instead of a peaceful newborn!
All kidding aside, I would LOVE some advice on how to get my baby to settle down better at night. I'm not asking for utopia or a night of continuous sleep- I am fully aware that I am going to have to get up in the middle of the night to feed or change him. I'm also not naive enough to think that I'll be able to whip him into shape with a rigid schedule that he'll follow obediently.
Here's a pretty typical day for him:
-Try to put him down around 10:30 - 11:30 at night (after a bottle, diaper change, and every imaginable soothing technique) and he's still fussy and frequently screaming.
-If he isn't asleep within 2-3 hours, we feed again. Sometimes he is fussy and screamy again, sometimes he goes to sleep. Usually he's up until about 3:00, at which time he'll knock out.
-Then, he'll sleep nearly all morning long (except for when he wakes to eat, but falls right back asleep)
-7:00 feed, sleep
-10:30 feed, sleep
-1:30 - 2:30 feed, I *try* to keep him awake (usually does)
-5:30 - 6:30 feed, I *try* to keep him awake (sometimes does)
-Evening feeding, he usually wakes up and stays up for a while
-Repeat the process
Things I have tried:
-Read Weissbluth's book and try to have no more than "2 hours of wakefulness"
-Swaddling, giving a pacifier, vibrating bouncy seat, swing, soft classical music, 'heartbeat sound', cuddling/holding, walking, massage, slept in recliner with baby, slept in guest bedroom with baby in bed, gas drops
There have been nights where I have tried *everything* on the list and he's still screaming. There's nothing more heartbreaking than seeing your child upset and trying everything to soothe him, yet nothing works and you end up feeling like a failure as a parent. I'm about to reach my breaking point and would LOVE some advice or even some 'sample schedules' of things you've tried.
The Happiest Baby on the Block was the best $7 I spent on a paperback book hands down. Karp's advice has been great for the "4th Trimester" and I look forward to incorporating more of Weissbluth's advice as my child grows older, as it seems like the majority of his research and data come from subjects older than newborn age. I also used some of the suggestions given here: swaddling in an actual SwaddleMe (as opposed to a receiving blanket) has worked wonders, and during the day I did try to EASY method and it seems to work well. Using a combination of methods have worked well for us - since my post we have had only ONE night of staying up super late while the others have all been wonderful. It's such a confidence builder when I can actually soothe my child and he doesn't scream all night! While I know that we will likely have setbacks along the way, it's nice to know this isn't going to happen every night and I can take steps to try to make my baby happier.
THANKS MOMS - I've had 5/6 good nights of sleep because of your caring advice!
My daughter is 8 months now, but for the first 4 months of her life I was in the same place you are now. We had great luck with the Happiest Baby on the Block DVD and the Miracle Blanket (better than any swaddle blanket on the market). I hope you find some peace soon!
Hi There! I feel your pain! Sounds like my little gal born on 12/20. We found out she had acid reflux. She now takes an antacid and sleeps better - she still wakes a few times but generally sleeps better. that condition is painful & can cause wakefulness. it would not explain the sleeping thru the early morning tho....
I've found the absolute best soother for my duaghter (now 11 months) to be sitting with her and bouncing on an exercise ball (the big ball people use for ab work). Calmed her down and put her to sleep almost every time. She also had some reflux issues - whenever we would try to put her in a bassinet she would wail. Then we got the Amby baby hammock bed and it was amazing. She started sleeping right through the night!
Michelle-
Congrats on your new little buddle! We had luck with the book The happiest baby on the block. It is a book about fussy babies and how to sooth them. Also I know it sounds odd, but we could only swaddle her with one brand blanket, other wise she would fuss. We found it at nordstrom and I think it was called the Miracle blanket. They also sell it at The right start. Also during fussy periods I would put her in a carrier(we used the baby bjorn or a sling)
Another book that we had good luck with was the baby whisperer. We followed the Easy program (eat activity sleep you) I think that was great because it was a routine, not a schedule. She would always know what was coming next.
Good Luck!
Michelle, go buy the DVD The Happiest Baby on the Block. I'm sure you can get it at a book store. (or message me, and i'll help you find it). It will tell you exactly how to use the 5 S's to calm your baby to sleep. I was in the exact same position as you are. It's such a depressing feeling when you are up all night with your little one. Especially when you know they need sleep. I just had my first in Dec and this worked wonders for me.
Hi Michelle,
Dr. Weisbluth can make moms feel inadequate and crazy. Try reading Dr. Sears "Nightime Parenting" or "The Baby Book". They explain how to change your way of thinking, and how to help your baby sleep.
Good luck.
Isn't it funny how not sleeping can change your own personality? There was a point with my second son when I could feel myself beginning to literally go out of my mind - I'd be driving to drop off my older son for school and forget where I was or where I was going. It can be really scary. (right after the day I was about to check myself into the mental institution to get some sleep, he began to sleep, thank goodness.)
Since your new little one is only a few weeks old, my guess is that he's still got his days and nights reversed. Most babies sleep during the day and are wakeful at night in the womb. You didn't talk about his day schedule - is he napping most of the day?
The other option is that he may be overtired. That happened with my first son, who also had colic. Or maybe his colic was exhaustion. He didn't nap well and he'd get so exhausted that he couldn't get to sleep. Eventually he learned how to nap during the day and then he was less exhausted by night. If he's not napping well during the day, see what you can do to encourage good napping - not right before bedtime, but the after lunch nap. If he naps well in the car, plan drives at that time of day or whatever it takes.
Oh, and find someone to watch him this weekend so you can catch up on your sleep. Even one good night's sleep every couple of weeks seems to help when you have a newborn. Or if possible, have someone else do the late shift while you go to bed at 8 and get a few hours of sleep before he wakes up.
Good luck!
Well, no promises, but this worked with my kids. With my first my mother recommended that I make things really interesting during the day and as boring as possible at night. So when they would wake up at night, no lights, no eye contact, strictly business. Change em, feed em, rock em.
Michelle,
Breast feeding or formula? My son was the same way for a bout 2 1/2 months. We tried everything, as it turned out he could not tolerate the milk based formula with iron. He ended up on Soy formula. No more fussy and slept, well, like a baby!
Did you try to keep him on your schedule of sleep and awake times. A warm bath before bed, a warm bottle, establish a routine, but keep it as normal as yours, it may take some time but keep to it. I figured it this way, I had to fit my babies
( now 10 & 12 yrs old) into my schedule not me fitting into the one they made up. You can also try some of the camamile tea, or sleepytime tea, just make sure there is no caffine in it.That was another thing that helped my son relax, just before bed time. Maybe even make bed time about 8:30-9:00p.m.
he will most likely want another bottle about 12:30-1:00 Even if you have to wake him in the morning when you want him to be awake,eventually he will get use to it. Then when he is about 12-13 months old it will change again. Kids, nothing is ever the same again!
I daycare for a couple of babies and I was able to help the moms get the newborns on a schedule by keeping to it for them during the day, and writing down nap & bottle times for them.
Good Luck I hope I was able to help in some small way, I remember how crazy it got when I was going throught he same thing. Kris
