Please! I Need Advice from Experienced Moms!!

B.,

Ease her in the crib for now, using the pacifier. If it falls out, let her cry herself to sleep if need be. She'll be okay. Soon enough she'll be able to pop that pacifier back in her mouth on her own! Is she teething yet?

I normally hold my little one until she falls asleep and then I put her in the crib. She doesn't really like the pacifier so I don't have to deal with the problem of taking it away, like you might be facing.

Use soft night time music to lull her to sleep if you have to as well. Best of luck!

Something my mom once told me, "It takes you about 2 weeks to adjust to their schedule and as soon as you do, their off on a new schedule of their own." So just expect change and know its normal!

Hi B.,

You may have a couple of options that would work if you are willing to try them. First, putting the baby in the bed with you, that way if she wakes you are right there to help with the pacifier. Second, you may want to exchange the pacifier and start to offer the thumb for self soothing instead, babies usually don't have a problem finding their thumb.

You need to make changes gradually and realize she is only 4 mths old. She uses the pacifier to self soothe and that is fine becuase she is so young still. When you have children sleep is the one thing that you lose for a long time. To expect a 4 mth old to sleep fine without you getting up and doing anything is a little ridiculous. If you want to take the pacifier away then work on that but don't move her into a crib and take it away that is way too much change. I personally would leave the pacifier and worry about the crib. Adjust her to the crib and let her use a pacifier to sooth herself. Once she is a little older then gradually take the pacifier away during the day when she is awake but let her have it in the car and during nap and night time. Then after she is use to that take the pacifier away during car trips, then nap times and finally at night. As you can see the gradulaly process is of course easier on her but takes time. It isn't taking the pacifier away totally and sleeping through the night right away. It will take time as she learns other ways to sooth herself. I rub my daughter's belly at night and that helps her sleep. Good luck and remember she is still young and you need to make all change gradual to make it easier on her.

Well here's what I got.
Try getting her in her crib first before you even think about trying to take the paci away.
The amby isn't so bad for her to sleep in but if you want to get her in her crib try these thing. If your okay with putting blanket around her in her crib she'll think she's cuddled just like in her amby. My son like to sleep in his swing, he was a primee and was in NICU for 20 days. They always had him bundled up and with blankets by he so he wouldn't turn over. That's where I got the idea from. Once she gets use to that and your okay with putting stuffed animals in her crib just line them up around the edges. My son enjoyed this and I would find that he would try to talk to them and would just stare at them once he was awake. I would and still do play music to put him to sleep with. I'm a big Baby Einstien fan and they now have two lullaby CDs. This might help if the amby plays music too like your swing did, I'm not too familar with the ambys.
Glad to hear that she is starting to put herself to sleep, I hope that gets even better because it's rough for us moms.
Good luck and I hope this helps at least some.

Hi B.! I'm the Mom of a 10 week old. Have you heard of attachment parenting? If you haven't, or even if you have and you're convinced it's not for you, I whole heartedly suggest you look into it. I recommend two books, "the continuum concept" by Jean Liedloff and "three in a bed" by Deborah Jackson. Basically, human infants are biologically made to be with their mother at all times, not just during the day. Their physiology is actually found to improve when sleeping next to their mother, as opposed to sleeping by themselves. Simply put, their little bodies just were not designed to be put into a room away from their mothers all night long. I can not recommend strongly enough taking your infant into your bed, even if only for a trial period of a week or two. It is safe. As long as you are not sleep deprived, taking sleeping medication, drinking alcohol or smoking, and you are vigilant in keeping soft bedding away from your daughter. For my husband and I, we solved the bedding problem by kicking the thermostat up a couple notches at night and sleeping with a cotton sheet and a blanket at our legs. And to anyone who says you will get less sleep -- i assure you that after a couple weeks (if it takes that long to get used to your new little partner, which it probably will not) you will find that you will almost instinctually tend to her in your sleep -- which is, of course, less wakeful than having to get up and go into her room each and every time she needs you. I can go on and on about the benefits of this arrangement, but I will simply stop at saying you are right to want to save your daughter the trauma of crying for you, and having her learn that you will not respond. Your heart is telling you that you are her mother day AND night. Listen to it! Best wishes, and good luck.

I always suggest getting them off the pacifier as soon as you can. Its becomes a habit that is very hard to break. I had the same situation with my son, Always waking every freaking 30 minutes bcuz the pacifier fell out. I didn't take the pacifier away from him, which i regret, but I basically moved my room around where at night when it came out it was easily reachable to pop it back in his mouth and he would go back to sleep and so did I. I guess its a practicle solution, unless you deal with probably 2 to 3 nights and take away the pacifier. I would do the latter but that would be your choice.

I hope this helps. My daughter is the same way about sleeping. At 2 yrs old I still have to wrap he up and rock her. I can't wrap her to tight though because she likes to be able to move her her sleep. She moves all over in her sleep. We found that she does a little better when we put her on the mattress on the floor. We tried toddler bed but it did not work. So she sleeps on the floor. she still wakes up but not as often.

I feel the same way you do about my baby as far as not wanting to break the pacifier habit and moving her to the crib at the same time. I wouldn't do both together. Back when ours was 4 months old, we ended up just having her sleep with us because it was easier for everyone to just be right there to put the pacifier in if she woke back up. Plus, she has GERD/reflux and we had to prop her up to sleep. I think moving her to the crib first (as I am working on) is #1. I started with the naps and now have her sleeping at least the first half of the night in the crib. Pacifiers are good for them as far as less ear infections, less risk of SIDS and is a good soother and easier to break later than thumb sucking. I haven't transitioned mine to going to sleep on her own like they say you should...just haven't been able to let her CIO. So I put on a lullaby CD, rock her to sleep and then when the pacifier falls out & she's down for the count, I place her in the crib. If she wakes back up and I catch her quick enough, I can put the pacifier back & she'll go back to sleep, but if she really wakes up, she wants out. So I still need to master the self-soothing thing. The crib soother didn't work for her because she just wanted to climb up to it and play/touch it. So about a month or so ago she also started sleeping half way through the night in there and then when she wakes back up for a night bottle (she can't eat as much as most babies during the day due to her reflux) we just put her back in our bed, as the longer the night/morning gets, the more she starts to wake up and so it's easier for the paci. Again, I haven't mastered either of what you're saying, but I can relate and eventually, they do transition. Next I plan to get her to sleep in the crib all night (I have put her back after the night bottle and she slept through once, so I need to do it more often). Then will worry about the pacifier later, as I don't feel it's bad for her overall. I also give her a stuffed animal/blanket combo - it's a bunny head with a little blankie attached that I give her when it's sleepy time and eventually, she'll use that as a comfort item instead of the pacifier I think. Good luck and hopefully we will all have luck/success in the near future!!

If she can hold her head up and turn from side to side, try putting her on her stomach. I know that everyone thinks its a no no, but babies sleep better on their stomachs. My daughter would wake up a lot in the night. When she was able to lift her head and turn it from side to side, I put her on her stomach. She slept so much better. I slept in her room, on the floor for three nights straight making sure she was ok. When I felt she was safe, I move back in my room, with the monitor on of course. I also checked on her in the night once or twice too till I felt fully confident that she was alright. She used a pacipher until she was 2 and then we took it away cold turkey. It was a tough two weeks but after that the paci was never thought of again.

B.,

I've never used a paci with either of my children, but if I was you I would put her on her tummy when she lays down...I know they say 'back is best' but both of my kids have slept on their tummies since day 1. It soothes them, and if she can raise her head a bit, it'll help her build more strength in her neck and back and she'll learn eventually that she has to put the paci back in her mouth. However, I think that the paci is hard to get rid of later on. My cousin used on with her daughter, who is now 6...and still walks around with it and if she looses it or you hide it, she freaks out. When she's this little, it's not going to hurt her feelings or anything, just yours.
I know what it's like to hear your child cry and it break your heart...but sometimes you have to let them cry themselves to sleep...it's hard...and sometimes you just need to step out on the porch or turn the music on. Give her 10-15 mns to cry back to sleep, if she hasn't by then go check on her, reassure her that you are there for her, love on her, DON'T PICK HER UP, pat her bottom till she falls back asleep, then slip out. I know that you're sleep deprived...BEEN THERE DONE THAT...I lived for 5 mnths with myself, my son and his father sleeping in the same room at my parents house after we moved to Fl from Va...and he used to sleep through the night before we moved, but when we were all together, he woke up about 8-10 times a night, at the least. I wanted to jump out the window or just get in the car and go to sleep!! But you can do this...you're gonna get through it, it's hard but you have to remember that you love her and you want what is best for her, so for a week or so, you might have to just grin and bear the crying, because of putting her in her own bed and not running to her every minute.

I would suggest doing both at the same time. Either way you're going to have to got through both changes so you might as well deal with it all at once rather than putting yourself through the pain twice.

I'm not a big fan of taking the paci away for 2 reasons....babies who use a paci are less likely to be affected by SIDS and because young babies use the paci for comfort and soothing...the need to suck, taking away the pci you rin the risk of getting a thumb/finger sucker...which you can't take away.

getting her to sleep in her crib...we had to swaddle my son (now 22 months) until he was like 6 months. he had to be nice and snug or he wouldnt go to sleep...he was also on an apnea monitor so he slept propped up in a boppy to help keep the leads on...

I took the paci away at 4 months because my son could never keep it in his mouth! However, he was already in his crib, but I will tell you what I did. He was in his crib, but he didn't sleep well that well until around 6 months. I did the wedge thing too and sometimes I would put him in his car seat in the crib, especially when he was sick. I just took the paci away and replaced it with rocking. I would rock him and he would cry. The first couple of days were rough and then things got better. Then he just needed to be rocked to sleep and then I would lay him down. I was OK with this crying because i was there holding him, rocking him and singing to him. I did this for his first year and yes, there were times I had to rock for an hour! But after a year old, he broke the habbit himself and wanted to go in his crib to fall asleep. He had a musical aquarium and a mobile with lights that he liked to fall asleep to. If you don't want to do the CIO method, you will just have to replace one habbit with another. If it is a simple case of him not wanting to fall asleep without it, she should only cry for a few minutes like you said. I never did CIO, so I can't tell you for sure. I am a big advocate of being there for them, especially at such a young age.

What I did with mine was move them into the crib as soon as they were able to attempt a roll over. They really don't notice the difference much. It's a pretty easy transition. Try it and see for yourself. Every baby is different.
I got the sleep positioner that is inclined so the head stays higher than the body to help with reflux. Which is actually due to an underdeveloped valve and not necessarily the food like many believe. That's a whole other thing though.
So... the sleep positioner on the crib mattress. I always put a receiving blanket over the positioner incase the baby moved so the velcro part wouldn't scratch them. Keep the side positioners fairly close so it's snuggling baby the whole time. Swaddle baby and put her down in between the side positioners.
It's all about routine with them. If you do the exact same thing every night, it clues her into what's going on and she'll get with the program really quickly. Ours was, diaper changing, feeding, burping, rocking (not until asleep), swaddling, putting down in crib, kisses on the cheek, a push of the glow worm and that's it. One thing that REALLY helps is having a sound machine. They sell them at places like Bed Bath and Beyond, Linens and Things, etc. Or online. They love white noise in the background. Make sure the room is not too warm and get curtains that actually block out some light. Nightlights are not necessary.
If you don't want her to cry it out, don't. You're the mom. But, do give her a couple minutes before going in there to try to soothe herself. Then, try to not get her out of bed, not turn on any lights or talk to her. If she's wanting her binky, just pop it back in her mouth without really letting her know you're there.
What is "best" for some people may not be best for you so you're going to have to take the advice given and pick through and try the things you're comfortable with. Trust yourself. You can handle it. :o)

I don't know if your daughter only takes a certain kind of paci, but I saw these recently and thought about it when I read your question. http://www.goodforthekids.com/store/WsDefault.asp?One=158

They are supposed to make it easier for baby to get paci back in the mouth. It may be worth a try, especially if she likes that type of paci.

I would change from the amby to the crib before worrying about the pacifier. I've never used an amby, but from what I've read they shouldn't be sleeping in one unattended when they start to sit up?? So if I'm remembering right then that is more important to work on first. You have plenty of time to work on the other.

GOOD LUCK, hope things get better for the two of you and you get some rest!
~E.

The best thing to do is get rid of the pacifier all together. It will be hard to hear her crying, so if you have someone who can help it then that would be best. Get her ready for bed like normal, a calming bath a story and rocking or something, put her in the crib minus the pacifier and let it go. She will cry, you will feel bad, but this is for the good and she will be okay. She will cry herself to sleep. If she wakes up after that, go in and comfort her by patting her on her bottom or back gently and whisper to her. Don't pick her up, let her stay in the crib. Some babies take to it in a night or two, others may take a week. The key is consistancy. Every night when she gets a bath her body will learn its almost time to go to sleep. Its a natural course, not easy. But the best for the both of you in the long run. Like I said, if you have someone who can help a few nights so that you do not have to listen to her cry on the monitor and they just let her cry it out, it would help you some. I wish you all the luck!

I don't know if this could be it...but it sounds like she's just hungry. I would try to nurse/give her a bottle whatever you do, and then rock her to sleep. At that age they don't really know how to go to sleep by themselves they have to be trained to do it. You could rock her, just hold her, lay close to her, sing to her, walk with her in a sling, any of those things. It's just that she doesn't know how to put herself back to sleep and the paci is the only thing she knows. She doesn't necessarily need that in particular she just needs something. At four months it's not good to let them cry it out, because a lot of times there's actually something they need at night when they cry. A paci is not necessarily a bad thing because it is a way they can get to sleep on their own, but if it is continually falling out and she is waking up I would try to find another way to put her to sleep that might involve a little assistance from you, but might last a little longer once she's asleep. But, definitely feed her first, she will sleep for longer. I hope this helps.

If you can get her to sleep without the paci, then why give it to her. It's just a crutch. Try a couple of nights without it. If she doesn't need it, don't give it to her. As for the bedding, as long as it's just a comforting and cozy as the amby, the baby won't really notice the bed size. You will never know if you don't try. it's a learning process with every baby. You're doing a great job!

at 4 months old my daughter was finding her own pacifyer and putting it back in place, maybe i was lucky there the other two were thumb suckers i tried everything
i put
the lil gloves on they would work their lil hands till they freed the thumb then go to town, seriously they break the pacy habit normally on their own about 3-4 yrs old, as for the self soothing she probably hasn't figured out that she can do it herself cause mom always does it :) if its always in the same place she'll learn where it is or when she does wake up instead of you putting it in her mouth put it in her hand she'll work it in and it teaches her to do it herself, good luck as for the crib i would intigrate that first during naps once she gets used to it then start her at bedtime.