Politics, Taxes, Education and My Kid's Teacher's Aide

I was a success story of the Cal State and the UC Systems in the late 80s, back when I could pay as I went along and still get my classes.

This twit of a trust fund teacher's aid is just clueless in her bubble. I see that you added that she had no formal teacher training....I knew it! Cut her off next time if she tries to suck you in.

My daughter started college this year and I never would have considered community college for her in this day. The last statistic I recall was that 70% of community college students in California either do not transfer or graduate in seven years because of the inability to get classes or just using it as "continuation high school" because they don't know what to do.

OMG! You met Mitt Romney???

ummmm...no. You do not tattle b/c someone disagrees with you.

--------------------------------------------------------------
She's not a bully. She's a loudmouth that doesn't agree with you. And it takes two to have a discussion - so what part did you play in this "bullying"?

I disagree with you - am I a bully? I also question why her political stance makes her inept, or is that just a happy coincidence you found while stewing?

Lastly - I DO work at a job that people generally see as 'blame-worthy' for the ills of society. I hold my head up high, answer questions - but when they get too political, guess what I do? Argue with them - no. Tell their boss - no. I shrug.

So what. Who cares what they think? I disagree with alot of people. Notice recent elections. Obama won - but not by 90%. Not by 70%. By something in the 50s. That means about 1/2 of americans disagree with the other half.

So it's going to happen. Even in a public school. Even at college. Even in a private school. Are you going to tattle on everyone in the other 50%?

I think it's interesting that you stated your political opinion repeatedly to simply ask whether you should complain about a teacher's aid discussing politics with a parent.

Yes, regardless of what either of your political viewpoints are, it is inappropriate for a teacher to discuss their political viewpoints with a parent or a student. I'm not sure why you didn't simply tell the aide that. My boss, whose political viewpoints I do not share, has a tendency to try to talk politics, and she's one of those people who thinks that everyone with an opposing view is a bad person tha they would not associate with. It puts me in an awkward situation and is also inappropriate. I tend to just not engage her in the conversation, pretend she hasn't made the comment and discuss something altogether different. If she gets too carried away, I simply tell her that we probably shouldn't discuss politics at work. By the way, I also do community service, volunteer for various causes and give to those less fortunate, and I suspect my political point of view differs from yours. Doesn't make either of us bad people or people who can't be trusted around children.

Yes, go talk to the principal. You need someone there to vent to. I don't know what he or she will say, but at least you will let her boss know that she is going around at work talking about this.

Secondly, don't let her talk about this with you ever again. Next time, just say "I don't want to have this conversation again." (And tell the principal that you will say this.) Don't offer an explanation of why. People like her WANT to argue. They don't like to be ignored. Ms. Trust Fund is a very selfish person who only thinks of herself.

Make sure your husband parrots the same sentence. She will get it if she hears it from both of you. If she doesn't stop, walk away. If she follows, tell her that you will be visiting the principal. Then she will shut up.

You can't get people like her to see your side. She only cares about herself, L.. If she were not a selfish person, she would realize that she's cutting you down and everyone else. She doesn't care. There are tons of people like this.

Dawn

Talking to the principal is not going to make this woman a better person.
No matter what her political beliefs, she's really an idiot not to keep it to herself given the circumstances.

If it came up again, I'd just say "You know, I think we'd best just agree to disagree. I don't really want to discuss this anymore." and if she continues, I'd just remind her firmly:"I already know how you feel and I'm really not talking about this anymore." and walk away.

And if she really needs a ton of bricks on her head, THEN, if she won't leave it alone, let her know directly, "If you bring this up again, we'll likely need to discuss it in the principal's office, because now you are just harassing me."

Hopefully, that will shut her up.

By the way, I don't say "won't make her a better person" or "idiot" because of her political beliefs...I just think a person has to be pretty thick to attempt the same conversation with two people within the same family who do the job which she believes doesn't deserve funding. I don't see how talking trash about someone else's employer or politics is going to get you anywhere, other than told to bug off.

Your husband was shocked because someone didn't agree with him? Wow, that is terrible. I'm so sorry this happened to him and to you. It must have been such a shock to your system that there is someone in California who is tired of paying high taxes because California has some of the highest taxes in the country and your state is going to go bankrupt.

Here's a clue, she wan't attacking you she was disagreeing with you. BIG difference. Guess what? There is waste in the public school system. There is no need for a multitude of administors. The money should be spent in the classrooms and for teachers. Why do schools (high school and college) need mega stadiums? Why pay a football/basketball coach millions and teachers far less? We need to get our priorities straight.

As a nation, we spend so much more than other countries with fewer results. Instead of dumbing down the system, lets lift it up.

I am happy to get into a debate about education; however, I agree with the lady, taxes in California are too high. Your state is going bankrupt. Raising taxes again and again isn't going to fix the problem. Your population is leaving because of the overburden being placed on them.

She did not initiate a politically motivated agrument against you and poor people. Geez.

I don't think you go to the principal yet, you need to shut her down though. For your own sanity and because it's highly inappropriate. I'd suggest something along the lines of "you know, I find these conversations very charged and not appropriate for this setting, and I think they need to stop." And then if she persists, take it to her higher up.

You are very angry and irritated by her opinions, but chances are she wouldn't be influencing your kids or talking about this with students. what is her role, is she in a classroom where your kids are? If so, you could have a conversation with the lead teacher and see if these kinds of topics come up in her presence. I would probably feel as irritated as you, but if you shut her complaining down, chances are that would be the end of it.

Don't forget, she can do a lot of outreach to the poor and still be anti-tax -- they're called Republicans.

OMG I've heard it all now. Why don't you just have her arrested by the liberal Police. In fact I believe Obama had a website to report people that were bad mouthing the left. I think you are way over reacting.

Just tell her "We obviously don't share the same beliefs, so it's best not to discuss politics anymore".

ETA: Perhaps she thought you were a *safe* person to talk to and vent about what is absolutely true about government run anything. Since you yourself don't support public schools, by sending your kids to a private school, she probably thought you guys were on the same page.

Sounds to me like her point was that the public school system there wastes the money they do get. Quite frankly, she is very likely correct! From reading what you've written, I don't take it as she has a "lack of compassion" or is "against poor people". I take it as she is sick of seeing money go to these programs and not be utilized in a proper way. In a way beneficial for the school, teachers AND students. I know I AM!!

Should she have discussed the issue with you in the first place? No. But, you are the one who kept engaging, kept pushing and basically kept the conversation going. You could have shut it down and you chose not to. YOU wanted her to agree with you, to come to your same point of view because you believe that you are right and she is wrong. Guess what, she's entitled to her opinion.

Now, because she holds a different view than you do, you want to go to the principle and you "do not want this woman anywhere near my kids". A little much perhaps? I hate to break it to you, but during your kids lives, they will encounter people with opposing views. Teach them to be independent thinkers and you've nothing to worry about.

Many polls have been taken as to what would get the most people aroused to go after all taxes so that we can be dragged back to the Gilded Age where the captains of industry can amass the great wealth while the rest are left to fend for themselves, thus keeping all of the wealth to be inherited. Our country has been a place where people feel if everyone just worked hard enough, they could get ahead in life. Reality is that everyone cannot be in the middle class or above, thus even hard working people live in poverty. The powers that be have decided to dismantle public education in order to: 1. keep the tax money to themselves 2.turn running schools into another place to invest and make a profit 3. hold a teacher bashing campaign for a few years before eliminating taxes for schools, with people having been indoctrinated to thinking that for a few years first. The bad economy gave the powers that be the opportunity to take schools by surprise.

We will live to see public school eliminated; all parents will be required to pay for schooling. Not all will be able to pay, thus, not all will go to school.

My daughter is in K, and I'm scared to death.

Wow, lots of thoughts on your post . . .

1) As a former long-time Catholic school parent, it's my impression that Catholic school teachers and aides are beat down about their own salaries (where I live public school teachers make more). Catholic school staff members are told "after all, YOU are doing God's work." Nevertheless I think some are resentful. I saw a great deal of anger in the years we were there.

2) It is entirely unprofessional for this aide to talk with you, repeatedly, about the issue. That being said, I would not speak to the principal. It probably won't do any good and your kid could get "branded." At our school bad labels (for kids or families) were good for many years. And our principal had this "I've heard it all" attitude. And yet they wonder why enrollment is down significantly? If anything I might ask the aide "What would you like me to do about it?"

3) In the private sector (my world) there IS significant resentment against public sector employees who seem to have guaranteed jobs and pensions (which hardly anyone has in the private world anymore). This is particularly true for tenured profs.

4) It's hard to feel sorry for state universities/colleges when tuitions continue to rise steadily, far out-pacing salary increases. And then you drive by and see a brand new football stadium, beautiful new dorms, etc. Universities seem particularly impervious (or dense) regarding the "optics" of these things.

5) As a homeschooling parent for the last 5 years, I know for a fact that you can educate a student for a fraction of what it costs public and private schools. Of course not everyone can homeschool. But with technology we have to consider non-brick & mortar options. And schools cannot exist to "fix" or remedy all of life's ills. That is not the purpose of academia. The taxpayer has spent the first 12+ years of a child's academic life providing books, a school building with heat & ac, certified teachers, and many times free breakfast and/or lunch. Are we to tack on 4 more years for college? At some point the producers in this country will revolt.

6) We can't make war around the world, ad infinitum, and not feel the effects here at home. There is a price to be paid. As my dad used to say: "He who dances must pay the fiddler."

Here is the problem in a nutshell. There is so much fat in your state's budget it isn't funny. I mean come on, you guys are supposed to be healthy and you are living with more fat than any other state.

So your government needs more money because there are promises to be met. Are they going to say we need this money to pay off our political contributors with contracts? Nope, we need this money for schools.

See doesn't that sound so much better, we need money for our children and the teachers that teach them.

They lie!

So your friend or the guy complaining about his taxes is right and you are right, what is wrong is the politicians that are lying.

Clear as mud?

Oh you won't change the guys mind. He is sure he is hearing the truth just as you are seeing the truth. Don't engage him, ignore him, this will pass.

Didn't you know that people work really hard at being nice to their relatives to earn that inheritance? How can you be so cruel? ;)
She's defending her circumstances because she feels guilty about them. She's probably also jealous of you and your husband for some reason. Lack of compassion usually stems from some sense of inadequacy, similar to why a bully bullies---they do it to make themselves feel better about their own circumstances.

But, no, you don't talk to your principal. Unless it comes up in casual conversation while you are chaperoning the 8th grade dance.

and omg OneAndDone---LMAO!

These are tough times aren't they?
I don't go through a single day without hearing someone complain about taxes right now.

I feel your anger, as I have to swallow a little vomit a few times a day myself due to the nature of MY job as a govt subsidized apartment manager.

85% of my tenants are on govt assistance of one sort or another, whether it be unemployment, welfare or social security. Soon some of my tenants that have been surviving on a meager amount of unemployment benefits will be homeless, you have to have some type of income to live at my compound.

Things are going to get crazy and the only way to get the funds quickly enough to fix it is by raising our tax, the sales tax increase alone will make millions of dollars a day.
It's a reality that all must accept no matter how much it affects us individually.

My point is, maybe not take what she said so seriously, she is just venting her own frustrations on anyone that would listen, maybe needed to debate a bit about where the tax dollars go for schools, maybe she was just curious to hear what your point of view was since she probably respects the fact that you are an educator yourself.
Maybe she just wanted to get educated?

Unfortunately education has never been very respected in our country.
And there are many who would do away with it altogether (public school, college, all of it).
It's much simpler to export jobs or import labor (educated or otherwise) than it is to 'waste' money on teaching people in our own country.
The aide's whole 'let them eat cake' attitude is maddening, but then Marie Antoinette did not have a happy ending.

Is it possible that when she is talking about "those public schools" that she is only thinking K-12? I also teach at a public university, and I've always felt in a completely different boat from K-12.

It has always blown me away that people really think schools waste a ton of money. What exactly do people think they are wasting money on? Too many computers, too many copies, too many basketballs? Ask any department in a school (any school) and I bet you could get a long list of things the department could use if they had more money. And if people seriously think the money is wasted on teachers' salaries, then they are forgetting the importance of a competitive salary. If you want good teachers you need to be willing to pay the going rate. Even though private schools often have wonderful, devoted teachers they often lose these teachers to public schools who can pay a living wage.

Do private schools do well with less? Yes. But it is usually because they have dedicated parents (many public schools do not) who are able to volunteer time, insists that their children perform and often are able to make contributions above the tuition. There is often a community spirit. I went to Catholic schools. One of the best things our school did was hold it's annual Chicken Dinner. All of the students were required to work a shift and parents, faculty and staff were strongly encouraged. It was a great team building and community experience!

It sounds like this gal is not interested in the facts or the truth, she just wants to complain. She honestly may not even be thinking about you or how any of her comments effect you. It sounds like she's quite ignorant. Honestly I don't know how people think the government is supposed to do anything without tax money. I'm not saying the government is perfect and doesn't spend improperly, but they still need money.

I'm sorry I didn't really help. Hang in there!

What I have decided on where the negative out look and mean nature attitudes come from is a total and complete fear of the fact things are the way they are.....And the fact we cant totally wrap our heads around what is going on and we are trying to find people to blame.

The right blame the liberals, the socialists, The poor and those who have found themselves in hard times and can no longer find their own way.

The left blame the right for signing the pledge to not raise taxes on even the most easy area's to raise taxes.....On the rich. And I am not talking every day average rich....It would be on people who make enough to give a bit more....

I can not for the life of me put myself in the place of someone who has the mind frame like what you have described. The total complete lack of compassion scares me.

And the fact they believe what they do so blindly. Yikes. Because the people they push to be in power could careless about the everyday average joe.

Good Bye Quality Education. Good Bye fair and equal Chances for all. Good Bye to the morals this country once had.

We SOLD ourselves out.

It is going to take selfless compassion, hard work and elbow grease....To regain the trust we once had in each other. It is going to taking talking face to face and learning from one another.

So do you turn her in for having a disagreeing view point? No. But understand that her position is most likely what it is out of fear. And she may not even realize how fearful she is..

It is easy to shrug it off and say they can get a job........That is what someone says who has had the privilege of not being in that position.

I think it is appropriate to say...''hold on folks, we are in for a bumpy landing''.........I swear though when it this ride comes to the screeching halt ....Being on solid land will be magical:)

I would like to think of the fact that we are now talking about this more....As a good sign that things to come will be better....Because we are all paying better attention and calling out the people who have the selfish mind frame.

Off my box....I truly dislike the fact that we can be so negative and hateful for the sake of Profits..

It seems to me she is expressing her opinion, and you are free to ignore her. That is protected free speech. You may not agree with her, but isn't free expression what we teach our kids?

You removed the question bc it was too long or you don't like some of the answers you got?? I read it earlier but didn't reply but I have to chime in now... It seems silly she would voice her opinion to you and your husband given your jobs so I can see why you're upset. And you hadn't mentioned her poor job performance earlier. I'd complain about that. But I happened to see a Bloomberg story today about California and the exodus of people bc of the anti-business climate and high taxes. It's a shame but higher taxes don't seem to be the answer. She's likely frustrated as many residents must be. The state will be left with a few super high earners and poor immigrants. That's a recipe for disaster. The article said how Silicon Valley is still a draw and chief executives want to stay but they expand the business elsewhere. Moving vans to get out of the state are so in demand there are waiting lists! If she reads any of this type of stuff, she's likely a bit panicked. I would be. I do feel badly for middle class kids whose parents can't pay for college anymore. Same time, so many people I see overspent on their lifestyles and continue to do so. They do bear some of the blame for their situation. As well, there are jobs for people with actual skills - engineering, accounting etc. People taking out big loans to major in philosophy may have trouble... I know two women in their mid 20's who are going back to college. Community college to start. Guess what they want to major in? Psychology so they can be party planners. Not sure I'd want to subsidize that type of upper education either with higher taxes. Seems to be a lot of poor planning and then finger pointing and hands out for aide. And one thing I'll never understand is if teaching is so underpaid etc, why can't teachers find jobs easily? There should be a low supply of teachers but there was just another post by a mom trying to get back into teaching but can't be of better qualified applicants.

She seems out of line so I'd cut her off next time but not sure I'd go to the principal as she hasn't done anything actually illegal, threatening, mistreated the kids etc... Who knows what some other people at school think. I will say that public universities elsewhere in the country for the most part have always been way more expensive than California schools. It seems like the K-12 education is poor (one of the lowest spending per pupils) so I've always thought college there should be more expensive and redirect the spending... CA is a mess so something they're doing is not working. And likely there is a lot of waste. As well, CA has all the immigration issues but should taxpayers have to pay more bc of that? I can understand her gripe. Wasn't there an son born to illegal parents granted some kind of scholarship bc of his illegal status while much better qualified students couldn't get aid? I remember that story. It was absurd. What I'll never understand is why further education is anyone's responsibility other than the parents. If they'd thought ahead, perhaps only having one child would have made more sense so they could help with college. I don't see it as my responsibility as a taxpayer to subsidize college for parents who are low income yet decided to have 5 kids. Not the kids fault of course but providing such cheap college in CA certainly hasn't been a deterrent to people having huge families they can't provide well for. She's lucky she has a trust fund but maybe if she didn't, she'd have done some other kind of planning for her children's education that so many people don't seem to do. Not sure her gripe is directed at teachers per se.

Yes, if you are paying tuition for this school, and you have met an employee who you think may say some of this to your children, then you should let the principal know. I mean, who knows what this woman may say to your child! She could tease or bully them just with a very simple remark.

At school, she needs to speak about school-related subjects only. Maybe the weather, maybe a community event, but not politics. She's probably just venting to you since you are there to listen, but still, it needs to stop.

Well, we live a free society. You both have very different views on the topic. You also have the choice to leave the conversations at any time, when the topic is not to your liking.