Poolside This summer...does Anyone Else Really Care How I Look?

Updated on May 29, 2011
E.M. asks from Chicago, IL
38 answers

I've never been one to hang out at the pool. I don't like hot weather and get pretty bored, plus I'm very fair and even with sunscreen, I feel like it isn't good for my skin. Anyway, my kids are 4 & 2 and I feel like they would have a lot of fun at the pool, plus we would meet many other families there. I also want my kids to be strong swimmers. So, I bit the bullet and have signed my oldest up for 6 weeks of weekday swim lessons at our local pool. Needless to say,we will be spending a lot of time there.

One of the reasons I am not looking forward to being poolside is that I have never had a good bathing suit figure. I'm dispropotionate -- flat chested with a big butt! I don't relish the idea of feeling uncomfortable in a bathing suit all summer. So, I'm thinking of buying some of those board shorts and a rash guard to wear at the pool. It seems like a better option than those "skirt" bottoms, which remind me of what my moms friends used to wear at the pool when I was a kid! (Now I'm one of THOSE moms! Eek!) Not only will I feel more at ease by being covered, but it really isn't good for my skin to get any sun. (Already had one scary mole removed.) Will I look weird? Will anyone else really care what I'm wearing?

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So What Happened?

Wow! Lots of responses! Thanks so much to everyone. Guess I just needed a little reassurance. My body has gone through so many changes in the last 4 yrs...2 kids, becoming a SAHM (live half my life in the kitchen preparing meals) and turning 40 does a number on the belly & booty! :)

I just ordered a couple really cute rash guards from Athleta.com and a couple pairs of board shorts (one from Tommy Bahama and the other from Zappos.com) with plans to return whatever doesn't fit. I know my kids will love going to the pool, so I'm going to make the most of it! Thanks again!!

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J.B.

answers from Boston on

The only time I care about what someone is wearing at the pool or the beach is when someone is showing way too much skin and shouldn't. Too much cleavage, butt cracks, muffin tops, back flab etc. should just never be seen. I too do not look great in a swimsuit so I have found that I am most comfortable and look my best in a modest swimsuit (one which doesn't show my boobs when I bend over) with a tank-dress-style cover up over that, which skims my body and covers my ample butt and thighs. I think that as long as you've got most of the really unattractive parts fairly covered and are comfortable, no one will notice what you're wearing. What you're describing sounds very cute and trendy - it would just make me look even fatter, but if it looks good on you then go for it!

6 moms found this helpful

H.G.

answers from Dallas on

No you wont look weird! Im short and fat and we visit my dad in biloxi. At the dang beach! There was no way im wearing a bathing suit so I bought a cover up. It feels like a towel so it dries fast nobody saw what I didn't want to show! I got it at walmart for 10 bucks!

5 moms found this helpful
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V.T.

answers from Dallas on

The only time I care about what other women are wearing is when the mom with 3 kids showed up at the pool in the smallest bikini I've ever seen and the perfect body to go in it.

4 moms found this helpful

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S.B.

answers from Redding on

As long as you're not wearing socks with Birkenstocks....nobody cares.

Have fun!

17 moms found this helpful

M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

I am a BIG girl - always have been. Recently down though 21 pounds with a lot more to go thanks to WW :). However, I prance me and my unflattering bathingsuit figure around all summer. I'm a mom - my kids don't care how I look, they care that they have a mom who is having fun with them. And forget everyone else. Have fun with your kids :).

14 moms found this helpful
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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

It's a mind thing. A level of accepting your body as it is. Good and bad.
I have always hated bathing suit season. I always have felt fat.
Now I look back at pictures of me 20 years ago and think---I thought I was FAT? No way!

I had a really eye opening situation last year. My friend asked me to go bathing suit shopping because she needed "help". She's a stick. A bean pole. I'm thinking "what's the big deal--go pick any suit off of the rack in your size and WEAR it. You've got no boobs, bo butt, thin thighs..what's the problem?"
THEN she started trying on suits. Oy vey. She was having JUST as much trouble finding something flattering as I do (large boobs, a butt, chubby thighs...)
Sooooooo......here's the secret. A very tiny percentage of people look awesome in a suit. Don't sweat it. Get what you're comfortable with.
And...necks swivel, so if someone doesn't like looking at you--they are free to look at something else!

11 moms found this helpful

C.C.

answers from Sacramento on

I promise not to laugh and point at you if you promise not to laugh and point at me. ;)

10 moms found this helpful
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J.K.

answers from Sacramento on

HI Erin,
I feel ya sister... I have never ever liked my body in a swim suit, ( although now I look back at pictures of me in a bikini as a younger person and think, "what the heck was wrong with my body??)... but two kids and 20 years later I know exactly how you feel.

My Mom never learned how to swim and was afraid of the water and she didn't like her body in a swimsuit either, and I remember wishing that she would play with us, so I have consciously decided that that time with my kids is more important than what I (or anyone esle) thinks of how I look.

2 years ago I bought one of the dreaded swim skirt suits and was delighted at how cute I felt in it!! I don't look perfect, and it's clear that I am hiding my big rumpus under a swim skirt, but i do feel better about being at the pool with my kids. My kids LOVE the water and I want to enjoy that time with them. I say, wear what makes you the most comfortable... slther on the sunscreen and make some fun summer memories with your kiddos :)

Good luck! ( I bet you look better than you think)

9 moms found this helpful
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J.G.

answers from New York on

Thank you for turning me on to board shorts! I was like, huh? What are those? Just looked online. What a perfect solution to hide my less-than-perfect butt and hips this summer!

You will look totally fine. Lots of people are wearing those surfer shirts. (Also did not know that those are called "rash guards." Yes, I live under a rock.)

Enjoy the pool!

7 moms found this helpful
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S.T.

answers from New York on

Before I had kids a I had a thin, good bikini body - (small boobs but I was thin). then I had kids, hit my 40s and haven't had a good bathing suit body since. I'm very fair too and I think that white legs and spider veins are not very attractive.

BUT - there are very few moms who'll look good. The moms with great figures tend to have enough money that they're around their own built-in pool in their own manicured yard. Most of the other moms will feel like you do - and will be happy and non-threatened to be around a mom with a less than perfect figure.

Wear what you want to wear. I am now wearing bathingsuits with little skirts - yes like my mom and her firends used to wear. Personally I think thye look better than the shorts. The shorts tend to make butts look more wide than they are - nobody needs help with that! But it's your butt so be comfortable and have fun.

6 moms found this helpful
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M.W.

answers from San Francisco on

I snort laughed at Shane's comment!!

I think it is wonderful you are doing something soooo fun this summer with your kiddos. I am a strong proponent of getting children confident and strong in the water...kudos to you Mom!!

Board shorts and rash gaurd shirts are very in now. I saw some cute ones in my Land's End and Athleta catalogs.

I think with all the hype about staying covered in the sun then you will fit right in.

Don't worry about what others think...most are worried about themselves. Wear it with confidence and you WILL be the total package!!

Have a fun summer sitting poolside!!! Your kids will look back at their summers with fond memories. Ask them in 20 years if they remember what you wore!!

6 moms found this helpful
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N.D.

answers from Chicago on

The only people's whose opinion matters is your children and they will think you are the best Mom ever for taking them to the pool so often. They don't care how you look, they care what you do for them. :) So sunscreen up, put a smile on your face and they will have the best summer ever. You might even meet some new Mom's with tree trunk thighs to sit next to. :) Hilarious Theresa! :)

6 moms found this helpful
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M.R.

answers from Phoenix on

I say you'll be setting an excellent example for taking care of yourself first and not anyone else's opnions.

Just watch, mom's will casually ask where you got your board shorts and rash guard.

You might want to add a cute sundress or swim suit cover up into your wardrobe if you get too hot in shorts every lesson.

5 moms found this helpful

L.M.

answers from Kansas City on

if you are worried about your skin, you could get a bathing suit cover-all that is almost like an over sized T-shirt dress type thing, and no one would be the wiser if you are flat chested (just wear a pretty shiny necklace and some bangles - the bling will take away the attention to your chest area) and you don't have to sit there and sweat becasue you are in shorts and a t-shirt.

Target has some great swim cover-alls in the Calico section here is an example.. but I am sure there are better ones out there http://www.target.com/Plus-Size-Merona-White-Tie-Sleeve-C...

Some cute flip flops and you are good to go,

Perhaps a sarong if you want to hide some leg.

Works for me!

Good luck

5 moms found this helpful

C.T.

answers from Santa Fe on

I could care less how other moms look...but I love being able to hang out and chat with people at the pool so I would just be happy if showed up and were freindly. I have some friends who wear long surfer shorts (and a lot of them have nothing to hide, they just like wearing shorts to hang out in instead of a bathing suit). Some mom friends who are fair wear short sleeve or long sleeve swim shirts (surfer shirts? I have no idea what you call them). I think these are cute/sporty...and practical. I am super fair also and HATE being out in the sun long... I can just feel the skin cancer forming, haha. I am contemplating getting a long sleeve swim shirt. Personally, I think my body shape is "too" skinny but I don't care what other people think. We are all adults now - what matters is what kind of person we are on the inside. I assume all adults think this way (if not, that person is very immature).

5 moms found this helpful

A.W.

answers from Kalamazoo on

No one cares.......they are all thinking about how they look!

I wear the shorts and I love them. I would go with a tankini top though. I think (not that we care) it would look more appropriate. Find a style that enhances your chest - either with material or padding!

4 moms found this helpful
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L.L.

answers from Topeka on

No you'll like fine..I don't really see what others are wearing @ the pool I don't care to notice unless it is very noticeable say arm pit hair or pubs sticking out other than that no.BTW I have a new swim suit i'm no swimmer but love to get a good tan I have a tankini that can go into 3 options plus the swimmer skirt I thing it looks fabulous I'm big chested big rear & well my things needed a little more cover.The past few yrs I had a 1 pice with the swimming shorts & that was fine but I wanted to up my style a little bit

4 moms found this helpful

T.N.

answers from Albany on

Sit next to me and my tree trunk thighs, then you'll look way better!

:)

4 moms found this helpful
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V.B.

answers from Phoenix on

Two summers ago my son and I were in the pool on average 3 times a week, all through the AZ summer. I've got big thighs, so I wore shorts over my swimsuit every time. I was comfortable and happy and that is what people noticed, no one cared that I was more covered than most.
Enjoy and wear what you feel best in and if it helps, my daughter's "swimsuit" is exactly what you are thinking about, board shorts and a rash guard, she has very fair skin and her health is more important to me than what people think of her attire.

4 moms found this helpful

E.S.

answers from Dayton on

I have been dying to ask this question for weeks...thank you!
I say enjoy the pool!

And thank you mamas for your kind answers. :)

4 moms found this helpful

L.U.

answers from Seattle on

I couldn't care less what other people wear to the pool or beach. As long as you aren't naked..."F" all the other judgemental people. (that's what I tell myself when I am nervous that someone will be judging me. "F" 'em)
L.
@Shane B. Your answer made me laugh!! It seems like ALL THE MEN in the greater Seattle area where socks with sandles. In fact, there is an insurance company that does commercials...and one of their tag lines is "socks and sandles guy...you're one of us." It kills me.

4 moms found this helpful
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A.V.

answers from San Francisco on

I'm totally with you on that. Body issues aside I am also one of those girls who burns in the shade (seriously, I really do get sunburned in the shade). I am a fan of the shorts and a rash guard to protect a larger area of my skin from the sun, and, it also helps to lessen the glare of my pastiness. :P

I also like sporting board shorts and a tankini top. Its pretty much the same as wearing shorts and a tank top, but I know some pools and water parks are picky about your attire being specifically "swim" attire. :)

I think the important thing to remember is that you are beautiful, imperfections and all!! No one cares, they are all probably busy worrying about themselves and their own bodies. Have fun this summer!

4 moms found this helpful
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B.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Yes, someone will care what you're wearing, your husband.

How will he feel . . . "A model needs perfect lighting, designer clothes and professional makeup to look as good as the average woman does to the man that's in love with her."

I bet he also won't mind if you "show too much skin" after you get home and are alone with him. ;-))

Good luck to you and yours.

4 moms found this helpful
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D.R.

answers from New York on

you made me laugh, my hubby just discovered the swim shirt (rash guard) and he is like a new man at the beach.... he was never one to take off his shirt, now he says "hey, you never know, i might be going surfing later ;)" ...... i looooove swim shorts. im not a skirt person either, plus it poofs out in the water. try lands end or athleta. i even bought some cheap yoga shorts at old navy and they are perfect swim shorts too. if you feel self conscious about your chest, ruffles are really in right now, lots of bathing suits with ruffles on top, so cute. plus if you have light skin, you have even more reason to wear a rash guard. a good idea regardless of your figure. dont worry. smile and have fun in the sun with your kiddies :)

3 moms found this helpful
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J.W.

answers from Chicago on

No, you won't look wierd, you will look like me, lol :) Enjoy your summer and have alot of fun with your kids :)

3 moms found this helpful
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C.M.

answers from Dallas on

Nobody cares. We are all in the same boat. I wear a bikini, but with a skirt. I have stretch marks on my tummy, but oh well. If anybody is looking at me and criticizing, then they should be paying more attention to their kid and playing! Same for you :-) Just go out to the pool in whatever and enjoy yourself

3 moms found this helpful
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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

Stay away from my pool. My husband loves bodies like yours. But really just go and enjoy yourself. Summer can turn out to be so short and there are SOO MANY different bodies there.

2 moms found this helpful

M.M.

answers from Chicago on

I'm thinking of this going "man, I'd be so much more comfortable"...

So I say no! Wear what you want!

2 moms found this helpful
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K.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

Nope, nobody will care. Do what is most comfortable and safest for your skin type.

2 moms found this helpful
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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

.

1 mom found this helpful
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I.G.

answers from Seattle on

I think it's fine, shorts or a regular skirt and a rash guard is what I will be wearing at the beach as well. I do actually like to go swimming, but I will simply wear a one piece sports type swimsuit under my shorts and shirt and change back after getting out of the water.
I am very light skinned and burn easily, so the rash guard makes it a lot easier to avoid a sunburn (less area to cover with sunscreen).
I don't think anybody will even notice.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

hmmm everyobody pretty much wears a 'skrit' bottom at our pool-me included. The Lands End ones are the most popular. They have ones that are a tiny mini-not real long. Retro bathing suits are actually VERY in this summer.

1 mom found this helpful
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L.F.

answers from San Francisco on

No one will care what you are wearing. They are there to have fun and swim with their family----not to critique you and your bathing suit! Wear your suit proudly and know that you are an attractive mama with lots of wonderful attributes and you can thank your children for giving you the body you got! :) If you feel better buying shorts, by all means-do so! They also have those cute sundress cover ups that are nice too and pair it with a wide brim floppy sun hat, your in buisness! Good luck!

M

1 mom found this helpful
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S.H.

answers from Washington DC on

You wont look strange. Wear whatever you feel comfortable in. No one will care. If you are worried about what you look like, then I can guarantee you that they are thinking the same things about themselves. I'm also flat chested, but it doesen't bother me. We have a membership to a local pool, and for the money that we are spending for it, we will be there a lot. They also make lots of suits to flatter pretty much any body type. Relax and enjoy your pool.

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M.S.

answers from Chicago on

I always feel this way each summer at the beginning. I am by far a plus size woman and feel better covered up, but I wear a halter top type one piece bathing suit with shorts. When I look around at the public pools, I notice, no one is really looking at anyone else and what they have on. Wear what you feel comfortable in and the longer you are at the pool, the more comfortable you will feel. I HATE my body and struggle with dieting, but I refuse to avoid certain situations because I am overweight. As long as you are not trying to fit into clothes that are 4 sizes too small, you will look fine.....Also I noticed there are VERY few PERFECT bodies out there anyway. HAve a great summer

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S.L.

answers from Boise on

My kids have swimming lessons, and I don't wear a swimming suit to them. I'm not going swimming, after all. Maybe your situation is different? But I just wear whatever I am wearing that day.

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B.M.

answers from Chicago on

Please. Do what you need to do for you. You may be the inspiration others need to truly take care of their own skin...as you get comfortable in yours! xo

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K.B.

answers from Dallas on

Wear what ever makes you feel confident and comfortable. The comment from 8kidsdad was a little creepy to me considering you never even mentioned your husband in your question.

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