My son, who will be 3 this month, has pooped a few times in the potty (6 times over a couple of months), so I know he can. But, lately, no matter how long he sits on the potty after lunch, no matter if we read stories or not, no matter if he is getting points (he doesn't like stamps or stickers) towards a toy, no matter if we postpone nap to 3pm, he will not poop in the potty. Only after we read a story and he is supposed to be napping does he poop. Once, I even stayed with him until he fell asleep in my arms then laid him in the crib--when I passed by his room about an hour later, I smelled the smell, opened the door, and he was asleep again! How am I supposed to help him poop in the potty all the time when he just refuses?
Any suggestions?
Make it fun! Get stickers or whatever he likes, nothing expensive because you'll want to give it to him whenever he uses the potty. When he is ready he will. Bottom line, make it fun!
Sounds like he poops as soon as he's relaxed. Think about it, sitting on a toilet isn't the most relaxed position for most of us, and neither is sitting on a potty for him. I think it is just going to take more time for him to get to the point where he is able to relax enough to be willing to poop on the potty.
One thing that popped out at me though, and maybe I'm just more sensitive about this because of how my parents did with me, but you mention putting him in his crib. Why is he still in the crib? Perhaps if you move him into a 'big boy' bed of some sort, that will help give him the idea that he's growing up and help with the potty situation too.
I was seven before my parents moved me to a bed - because they had to get the crib ready for my little sister who was expected in about five months! At the time, I didn't know it was such a big deal to be sleeping in a crib at that age even though I no longer fit in it at all! The older I get the more it bothers me that my parents didn't seem to know better either. Of course they didn't have Mamasource to help them. LOL!
From what I've observed, it seems most children are transitioning to some sort of toddler bed or even a twin sized bed by the time they are two. If the possibility of him falling out in the middle of the night bothers you, put something soft next to his bed for him to land on. At three, if you are putting up the sides, he could climb over and get hurt much worse than from a fall from a regular bed. If you're leaving the sides down, I still think moving him to a regular bed of some sort is a good idea.
Take the pressure off the situation... just let him know that when he's ready to use the potty you will be there to help him if he'd like the help. We put so much pressure (without realizing it) on our little ones when it comes to the potty that their little systems tense up and hold back. It makes sense that he's going "big potty" as we say in our house, when he's asleep because he is relaxed and he's able to do the deed without any big production.
We tried everything with our first child... i think we bought 3-4 different potties, tried various rewards systems, etc. etc. and she just wasn't ready. We built it up into such a big deal that it became a real bummer for her. Then, literally, we said nothing about it except to say... "okay... well, when you feel ready to use the potty, let us know..." A few weeks went by and then the day after her 3rd birthday, she decided it was time and that was that. I think she only had 2 accidents and the rest went down in potty history. With our second who's 2.5 yrs... we just keep asking.. "would you like to try the potty today?" Mostly, he says, "No - not today," but then yesterday he said, "Yeah, I'm ready today!" Of course, we had a very fancy one just for him that plays music and gives out stickers ready and waiting in the bathroom... (ha! it is quite cute, though... i wish i could sit on it!)
We went through this with our 3 year old daughter. She wouldn't poop in the potty and instead wanted to poop in a diaper--- even when she wasn't wearing diapers during daytime anymore. She started pooping during her nap or at night; we figured that it was because she was having a difficult time relaxing while awake.
Before she started pooping in a toilet, we were nagging her a lot about using the potty. We decided to stop nagging and just encourage-- sure enough, she started using it and we haven't looked back. Even though it's annoying to clean, we allowed her to poop in a small potty--- she felt more comfortable than on our normal toilet. The change from diaper to small potty occurred at 3 years 3 months--- your little guy may just need a little time to get there.
I agree also with the other moms because my son was 4 when he started trying to poop in the potty so definetely don't discourage him at 3 because he is trying. Sometimes it doesn't happen in our time frame but when my son was ready at 4 he went in the potty all of the time and just had an accident or two at night with Pull-ups so you are well on your way. Just use postitive feedback. Let him know how proud you are every time he does pop in the potty. Good Luck!
R.,
Have you tried giving him a warm glass of water with his lunch? Alot of times that will trigger them to need to go---
Molly
I have found that by removing all diapers and any training pants you create a different feeling for your child that will bring about a change. It is not comforatable and feels foreign so he will not like it!!!! The game of putting it in the pot continues, if you have ever scolded him for not going in the pot you will have a difficult time because now it is not fun!!!!! Good luck!
This sounds like a power struggle, perhaps, or perhaps he's just not ready to poop. Unless there's a really specific reason he has to, how about just letting it go? I read that half of kids aren't potty trained until after three anyway. My daughter simply refused to poop in the potty for a long time, wouldn't even sit on the potty and try. Then she decided she wanted to wear big girl underpants and was pooping in the potty within a month. She's now almost three and totally potty trained (not at night). I just gave up and let her do it on her terms. I'm so happy I did.
I agree w/the other moms....back off & see what happens. Also, put him in control. Don't have him sit on the potty until he goes cuz that's not natural. We adults don't do that so don't expect your son to do that. Put him in control of all of it...have him tell you when he needs to go instead of having him sit til he goes. With our first son, I had him sit on the potty every hour or so & he was then potty trained to go every hour & did't feel the need to pee or poop so I had to re-train him. With our second son, I didn't do that...I put him in control from the get-go. Waited fo rhimto tlel me h needed to go. Many times throughout the day I'd remind him to tell me when he needed to go & left it at that. Granted, there were more accidents w/him during this period but he learned to know when he needed to go. The only time I ever made him go potty was before we left the house, or when we got into a store or restaurant that had a bathroom. Good luck!
Oh dear....my son has the same issue and typically poops at night while sleeping. After trying everything, I finally realized that he is very tense about pooping on the potty and probably can't verbalize it. So, when he is sleeping and relaxed, he poops. I don't want to make too much of this as one of my daughters had a similar issue and it boils down to either a control issue of a fear of pain while pooping. In her case, upon doctor recommendation, we gave her a bit of Miralax which softened her stools slightly and allowed her to go without pain or straining when pooping. This did the trick and I am considering it for my son too. Once they poop in the potty and realize it doesn't hurt, they are fine.
Similar with my 3 year old. Back off a little and you will see some improvement. Good luck
Hi R.,
I'm in the same situation, but my son will be 4 at the end of March and we've been training him for almost a year. The best way to put it - and someone put it to me this way... "eventually we are all potty trained." Don't push him. Boys are a little slower and it will happen. If you push they tend to pull back. What is his favorite thing? Reward him with that.
Good luck,
T.
Put a potty, some wipes and a trash can in his room and put him in a pullup to nap in. He can wake up, get it in the potty and then go back to sleep. Eventually he'll get up in the middle of naptime and get himself to the actual toilet - mine does that now and goes back to sleep. If he sleeps through the whole thing then he's just not ready to poop outside a diaper so put a diaper on him at naptime - not a pullup. There are some great waterproof cloth training pants from Bummis - we called them Naptime Underpants. They absorb and contain wetness and poop so your kiddo gets the real sensations and you don't have to remake the bed every time. You will have to wash them though - hopefully the learning curve will be a short one :P
He will poop at naptime, until he no longer naps. He will eventually outgrow naps, and even though it seems like an eternity, you will get there! Obviously he is relaxed at naptime, and lucky for you, he at least goes back to sleep!
