Post-Partum

Hello-
I had post-psrdum depression with my son who is now 2years old. I didn't even realize it! My then husband was always getting mad at me... and i didn't understand why. My best friend advised me that I should see my doctor, I didn't know what I should say to him, so I had her go with me. When she was answering the questions that the doctor had asked I just started crying. I was also prescribed Wellbutrin. I was on it for about 6 months and everything went back to normal with me and my son. I did have to reconnect the relationship with my son which took awhile. But I was also at a point where I didn't want to have anything to do with him. All I wanted was my daughter who is almost 6 now. So I understand how scary it is to find out about being post-pardum... but it is easier to get over if you have a strong support system. I hope this helps to put you at ease, because you are not alone in this.

G. K- full time mom, full time worker, and part time college student

The same thing happened to me with my first child. I went to the doctor when my daughter was about 8 months old and told her the same thing you just described and was told that there is "the baby blues" which is sort of the let down after the big event. This is normal and happens to a lot of women after they have a baby. It is usually short lived, a few days or a couple of weeks. Then there is true post partum depression which can be long lasting and require medication and sometimes counseling to resolve. So, I am taking Zoloft and I am a better wife and mother for it. (Much easier to live with!)

Hi J. T,

You are not alone at all, you are very much in the company of people who understand. You mentioned that you thought your diagnosis was a little late in coming, but actually, most mothers are not diagnosed with postpardum depression until their child reaches or even passes the one year mark. This is mostly because you think it might go away or change with time. That is the real tragedy, that you weren't able to seek help sooner.

I just had my first child in January, and almost immediately began downspiralling. I kept thinking it would subside, and kept reassuring those around me that I would shake it off soon. But it got to the point where I didn't want to spend time with my son and I resented him. It was terrible. I saw a counselar at Shawnee Mission Hospital - a free service that I found a pamphlet on. My counselar was fantastic. I got on some low level medication and went through one-on-one therapy for a couple of months. I cannot tell you how much better I feel today. My only regret are all of those days that I felt alone and unhappy, when I could have gotten help sooner.

It takes tremendous courage to ask people about this, and I really am glad you posted. Please know, you are not alone, and this is definately something you can manage - there are many resources out there for you. I highly recommend the Center for Women's Health at Shawnee Mission - again, a free service.

Good luck and take care of yourself. Your health will make your family happy. I will be thinking of you.

Go to www.kansasppd.org (Post-partum resource center of Kansas). They are wonderful, and REALLY know their stuff. They will help you find someone in your area who specializes in this. I recently attended a seminar where they spoke, and though I have no experience with this, I was blown away by the information. This is more common than we realize, and there are people out there who can help.

I hope you find the help you are looking for.

Yours in health,
Dr. Alyssa

I was depressed after my first child. I decided to take medicine (paxil) for it and am actually still on it. The same things that you described is the same way that I felt after my first. It can be so frustrating.
I don't know if you work but stayiing at home and caring for a child 24/7 (even with help from a husband) is a very tiring job. Are you taking any time for yourself?? I found that I wasn't taking care of myself and taking trips to the grocery store alone, going out with friends, playdates, etc.

Please be sure that you are taking care of yourself with breaks as well. I think that is what helped me the most. I still find myself some evenings after dinner telling husband that I'm running to starbucks!! That drive alone in the car helps a lot.

Wellbutrin is not a very strong drug. They also prescibe this medication to people who are trying to stop smoking it takes the edge off. I don't believe you can get hook on anti-depressions. I say give it a try, take it for 30 days, because sometimes that how long it takes for this kind of medication to get into your system correctly If it doesn't make you feel better in 30 day consult your doctor again. You know being depressed is something alot of us go throught. Just hang in there and it may truly help you. Good luck and May God be with you and your family

J.,
as a doula, someone who deals with birth and pp all the time, and someone who had post partum depression with my first son, I can tell you the diagnosis is correct. It is completely normal for this to last this long, and it is completely healthy and beneficial for you to seek medication at this point. Anything that hangs on past 3 months stops being "baby blues" and has proved itself as true blue post partum depression. Mine took the exact same path - war towards my husband, and he was INCREDIBLE through it. But I think you should go on Wellbutrin, and if it doesn't work, continue to work until you find the right thing.

The best place I could refer you is the Postpartum Resource Center of Kansas. www.kansasppd.org
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These are people who have experienced this medical problem and offer a TON of help and support.

Blessings,
A. Parsons, CD, LSP

J.,
you are not alone. i was dx w/ ppd after my first daughter was born 4 years ago. i was put on zoloft and have been on it ever since, even throughout my other two pregnancies. (by the way, my pregnancies and babies were prefectly normal and healthy) the zoloft has been a life saver for me. i am a much more balanced and happy person now. i realized that it really wasn't just the ppd that was a problem for me, i was depressed in general and had been for years. my husband can testify to this and the fact that the medication makes a world of difference.
Good Luck,
B.

I also had post-partum depression and I know what you are going through. I was also put on medication and it helped a little bit, but not as much as I had hoped.

I would get upset when my baby boy would cry all day and I was home alone and had no way to vent my frustration. My husband got the heat of my wrath. He was upset, but he was very understanding and put up with it. He would help out as much as he could when he got home from work, but I would still get on his case.

I felt hopeless. I wasn't getting out of my depression and I was afraid it was going to go on forever. One day out of the blue, I was fine. It was the weirdest thing. Nothing out of the ordinary happened the day before. I woke up one morning and went into my son's room. And for the first time in a long time I felt conditional love for him and my anger melted away.

I know it seems impossible right now, but hang in there. I promise it will get better. : )

Hi J.,

I am a past sufferer of PPD, 13 and 16 yrs ago.I am the Director of Mother to Mother Telephone Support, we support women who are experiencing emotional difficulties during pregnancy and postpartum. It is typical to feel anger to others in your family, thats what the depression does to you. This depression can occur any time within the first year of birth, most of the moms I talk to are anywhere from 3+ mos. They have been suffering for a while and were afraid to tell anyone. If you want to discuss this further and be matched with a phone volunteer, call me at ###-###-#### Ext. 4
or visit mothertomothersupport.org.We are nonprofit and a free service.

Thanks.

L. Meyer
Executive Director
Mother to Mother Telephone Support
425 N. New Ballas Rd., Suite 195
St. Louis, MO 63141
###-###-#### Ext. 4
www.mothertomothersupport.org

Maybe you were diagnosed with the wrong kind of depression. Do you feel tired alot and do not want to go anywhere or do anything? If so, you may be suffering from just depression.
There is medication out there for that because it has something to do with the brain.

You are definately not alone. I had my first child just after I turned 18. My doctor did little to explore my feelings of depression after I had her. He simply asked if I felt depressed. I told him yes, and nothing was suggested to me to help or prescribed. I wish that I had been given the opportunity back then to find a solution to the problem, because it hasn't gotten any better 8 years later. I, too, would never do anything to harm or neglect my children. But I can't shake the bad feelings towards myself, the constant pessimism in general, and the lack of wanting to do anything. If you have the chance to see if something will help you, I would highly recommend giving it a try. It isn't a life sentence, and if you don't like any side effects, you can discuss that with your doctor and keep trying until something works for you. Trust me, you don't want to leave it ignored. Having someone who is willing to listen to you when you say things just aren't right is a blessing. Good luck to you and I hope you will soon be back to feeling like yourself.

Well first of all you ARE NOT ALONE, or weird or anything else for that matter. I have an 18 month old and when he was four months old I was diagnosed with post partum after having several panic attacks. I took paxil for about 8 months and when my sone turned one took myself off of it. Now that it has been six months I still have problems with it. I have panic attacks, feel like I am in a fog some days and just out of sorts. I too usually take the brunt of it out on my husband. The medicine works so take it while you need it. Post partum i am told can last up to 3 or 4 years depending on how unbalanced your hormones are. I would try to figure out what it is that sets you off them most, a lack of sleep makes it worse, not eating healthy or enough and try to make time for you. Plan a girls night or something. That's what has helped me, but until you gain a grip on it all take the medicine and just remember to breath, they say it will pass..
If you have anymore questions or just need someone to rant too don't hesitate to email me , I've been there

I Have a little boy who will be a year the end of this month and a daughter who will be 5 in december. My husband and I went through some difficult times lately and he had told me that ever since our daughter was born I have been this way. Snapping at him for the little things that he does, tired all the time, not wanting to do anything or go anywhere. The only difference is that I also had the feeling that i wanted to hurt my children. When my daughter was born I had those thoughts as well as when my son was born. But there is no way in the world I could ever bring myself to hurt those precious babies. After our son was born when i went back for my 6 week check up the dr asked how i was doing and i just started crying. She prescribed to me lexapro. told me to take it for a month and let her know if i got any better. Well needless to say it did help but I stopped taking it cause every day that I took it it made me feel very very anxious and nervious and like i was moving in fast motion. I have not called her to tell her that i stopped taking it cause i dont like taking med anyway but i am afraid she is going to want to put me on something that i am going to get hooked on and i definately dont want that. ok im sure your thinking get to the point woman. Sorry for the rambling. I would just try the wellbutrin and if it helps great but if not dont be like me and just stop taking it call the dr and tell them you dont feel that it is helping. Just scares me with all the depression medicine out there after reading the book about Andrea Yates. She was also on wellbutrin. Hope all turns out ok. Just be patient with your husband and try not to snap at him like i do.

J.,

I can completely relate to what you are saying. In July I was diagnosed with post-partum, too. My son was 10 months old at the time and I didn't think it could be post-partum so late in the game, but it really was.

I had become a sobbing mess, gained over 20 lbs in 6 weeks (after having lost all of my baby weight), had similar feelings toward my totally awesome husband, and started to resent my son for preferring my husband.

The nurse practitioner at my doctor's office diagnosed me after I had a breakdown in her office. She put me on Wellbutrin and for me it worked really, really well. It did take off the edge and my husband commented that I was finally back to my regular self. I just got off of Wellbutrin 3 weeks ago and I seem to be happy still. I'd be happy to listen to you or respond to any questions you may have. Hang in there!

Don't get discouraged. Yes, I would say it could still be post-partum depression. My son is 3 years old. After he was born, I had it really badly. Your husband and my husband would have lots to talk about, I'm sure. Give the medication a try at least. As a woman who knows exactly what you're feeling, my experience has been life-changing with medication (Zoloft, for me). Granted, it takes about three weeks or so to really see a difference. But, it's definitely worth it. I always joke that I love my marriage too much to go off of it, but in all seriousness, it has definitely had an impact on my marriage in a positive way.

Plus, look at it this way, you won't necessarily have to be on it for a long period of time. Maybe just until your hormones level out. I keep waiting for that time, but my problem is that I've been either pregnant or breastfeeding since I had my son, SO needless to say, we're not quite there yet. Good luck and hang in there!

J.

J.,

I joined this site earlier in the year when I found out I was pregnant. We made it to 14 weeks, when at a routine dr's visit, we could not locate the baby's heartbeat and I had to have a D&C. I have also been suffering from postpartum depression. I work full time and go to school (still working on my bachelor's degree on evenings and weekends)...

I had a Psch class recently and had to write a paper on postpartum depression. There are so many people out there who are suffering! I also found out that postpartum depression can last up to 7 years after childbirth! There is a website called postpartumdepression.com They have all sorts of information and may be helpful for you.

Also, when you start to get angry at your husband, stop yourself, count to 3 or 5 or whatever and start over with the issue that is bothering you. Start ny thinking to yourself that it is not a big deal, whatever the issue is can be dealt with, one at a time.

Explain to your husband what and why you are doing what you are doing, and eventually, you will be able to control your anger a little easier.I wish you luck! I know it is not easy to deal with sadness and depression, but just take it one day at a time, you can and will get through this!

K.

No a year is not too late. I was almost that far out when I realized that I was suffering from it too. My anger was toward my co-workers though. I was seeing a counselor at the time and she said it's not uncommon to apply your feelings toward other adults. After my last pregnancy I was resentful because he went to work every day and all he talked about was work.

You could be feeling pressured to let go or feel conflicted about being a sexual being again. There could be many many reasons.
Maybe you just need some time alone with him to rediscover your interest in him or common interests that you have put aside when you had the baby. I would suggest a date night once a week. Get a sitter, Go out, have a nice time and don't talk about the baby at all. Do face to face stuff, no movies or arcades, dinner - dancing - pool with each other- a walk by the water. Things where you can really talk about the stuff that doesn't involve the baby.

When you know you can connect outside of the house you'll feel better about connecting in the house.

I had PPD w/ my 2nd child. It seemed like I woke up one morning and it was there nagging at me. Unfortunalty my anger was towards my poor baby. I never went as far as hurting her. But I do addmitt to being a little rough with her and not wanting to feed with her, I would let her cry with hunger. I still regret it till this day and shes now 3. No one in my fam has ever heard of such a thing as PPD and thought I was being a big baby. I didnt seek help like you. Clap Clap for you. I lived (we lived) with this for about 6 months. My husband was no help to me and just ingnored the problem. I felt like a was dying inside, I didnt want to do a thing for myself and anyone in the house. My poor baby didnt get motherly attention like she should have and my 1st child I cant even remember much what she went throu. Its all sort of a haze to me now. I finally found a woman (my best friends mother) who had the same prob and I talked to her and cryed to her, mostly cryed to her. She helped me see that it was a mental prob, something I had no control over. It slowly got better for me. The haze lifted and I returned to normal. I owe it all to a very special woman who helped me see that I was a good mom and this can happen to anyone. Talking is the best cure. You will find a new friend as well. And as for the little one in question. She is fantastic and we have a special connection. Your PPD will soon pass with time, just give it time. You are worth the wait!!!

Well I too just had a baby, but she is only 6 months old and I have a 2 1/2 year old as well. About 2 months ago, I went back for my IUD check and I just flat out told her that I need energy, my hubby wants my libido back and i'm stuck! She explained to me (I am medically trained so I kinda knew what I was lookin for meds wise) that Wellbuterin would be probably what I needed. I had heard of Lexapro, but she told me that it didnt really work with the libido side of things and that Wellbuterin would be the answer and I do have to say it's worked so far. It was the Serotonin levels that I had to get adjusted. Lexapro isnt an SSRI (Seratonin response initiator). I was on the 150 mg for a couple of weeks and realized that it wasnt enough so we bumped me up to the 300 mg. It made a difference. The edge of this story is that I also have a 14 year old step son, and well there's stress there enough to last a lifetime and beyond, so the wellbuterin assisted with "depression" lack of energy, and my hubby let me know "I was back". Good luck!

Never had this problem, hell, the baby kept me too busy. Try and not be so upset with hubby, he sounds great. Focus on something else and be kind to him. But, post P is there, you have to handle it. aloong with medication
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