M.B.
Oh Sara, hang in there. Like everyone said, you are not alone. It sounds like you have lost a lot of yourself. Is there any way for you and your husband to take some time together? Could you leave him a card or a note or something and FIRST acknowledge all he does for the family and how much you appreciate him, and then tell him you need to talk and need a break to get back in touch with yourself and your marriage. Even small breaks - a few hour hours on a Saturday afternoon while they nap - anything. If you could get a neighbor to watch them while you and your husband go for a walk, go to a coffee shop, get lunch..... just something to reconnect with him - and to begin to reconnect with yourself as a person, an adult, a woman....
If you husband views this as something that will benefit him (he probably misses the old you as well and would LOVE a little more attention - which of course - you cant' do the way things are going...) he will be on board. Just frame it as something that will benefit you both!!!
Sounds like you both need each other, but like all of us, are so overwhelmed, you are growing apart instead of together and losing yourself in the process.
Good luck to you.