Postpartum Sex: 6 Months After Baby

Updated on December 02, 2006
H.C. asks from Port Saint Lucie, FL
6 answers

Hello! I gave birth to my daughter on May 24 of this year (6 months ago). My labor and delivery was uncomplicated, it was an all-natural waterbirth and I didn't have any tearing or anything like that. Since then my body has returned to its prepregnancy self, except for the fact that it is still painful for me to have sex. I am still breastfeeding, and plan to continue until my baby is at least a year old, but I'm not sure if I can wait that long! I know that breastfeeding pretty much makes natural lubrication nonexistent, but we've tried KY Jelly and it's not working. I'm not sure that dryness is the only problem though. When we have sex, it feels the same as when I was delivering my baby. I get the burning sensation that you experience when the baby is in the vaginal canal and you're pushing. I was wondering if anyone else is, or has, experienced this after a vaginal birth? Is it something I should be concerned about, or will my body return to normal when it is ready? Also, if this is something that other people have gone through, when did sex feel good again for you? This is really putting a strain on my relationship with my husband. He completely understands, but I feel so bad! Any advice or help is much appreciated. Thanks!

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E.

answers from Orlando on

Hi H.,
I had my first baby girl 14 months ago. I had a natural child birth with no tearing and sex was painful for me as well for some time. I couldn't figure it out either, I would have sex with the pain and then my stomach area would hurt. It seems like after a year it starts to feel better. As the months go by it gets less and less painful. Now at 14 months after having my child I really don't feel the pain anymore. So just give it time and it will feel good again. Hope this helps!

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T.B.

answers from Boca Raton on

I had a similar experience to Shaundra... vaginal birth, alot of tearing and bleeding (I gave birth to a 9lb, 5oz girl!) I did have an epidural, but the stitches still hurt when I got them...long story.
I have a bit of scar tissue down there and I'm not sure that the stitches were done very well. My Ob/Gyn (did not deliver DD) cauterized the stitch area after my 6 month checkup because intercourse was still painful (I can't tell you how much I cried). This actually helped a lot. He burned some of the scar tissue away. It hurt like HECK when he did it... I called my hubby and told him he better REALLY LOVE ME after what I just went through... but it has changed our sex life for the better. (Unfortunately it's not what it was and having another child scares me because of this!)
Of course lubrication is also the key... and lots of it!
My situation may be very extreme, but it will give you something to discuss with your Ob/Gyn.
Best of luck,
T. B.

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M.B.

answers from Miami on

I had problems also and to be honest I don't remember when exactly it started feeling better but it was like after 8 or 9 months more or less. It does get better with time but I agree you should probably see a doctor. I didn't only because I never found the time after the birth of our twins. Good luck!

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S.S.

answers from Miami on

I have the exact same problem, except I had some pretty bad tearing and a significant lost of blood with my delivery. THANK GOD I had an epidural.

Anyway, I went to my MD for this problem, and he sent me home with a written *so that my husband would believe me* to have sex at least three times a week using astroglide instead of KY. He told me that KY is good, but astroglide is like WD-40 when it comes to intercourse. He did say that the perscription was just a guideline. He explained to me that basically I had some scar tissue that is really tight, and I need something that is constant that will help it get back to normal. My husband I dont have to have full blown sex three times a week, but I have to have some type of penetration action down there for at least 5-10 minutes... to help stretch the tissues as well as break that mental block of it being painful causing muscle guarding, which could also contribute to the pain. My MD even put on the perscription that it is advised that I get a toy for when my husband is away, as well as for if we decided not to have intercourse.

SO!! My advice... go to your MD and make sure there is nothing seriously wrong. I'm sure everything is just fine, and your MD might give you the same advice mine gave me. You can also take my advice and try it for a little while. I actually have an appointment next week to see how it helped, or if it didn't help. In my experience, I had days where it would hurt more than others, but I am hoping things got better.

I hope things get better for you too!

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K.B.

answers from Port St. Lucie on

Speak to your doctor and see if they can help out . I had my baby in April 2006 and after our 6 week check up and the iud being placed in we had sex and its better than ever. I've had no problems at all.

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A.Z.

answers from Orlando on

Have you tried Astro Glide? We tried KY and it was horrible for me. Very painful and sticky--not fun. The Astro Glide is awesome.

Good luck!
A.

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