Potential Nanny Is TMI on Facebook-too Weird?

I wouldn't. Facebook and other social networks are where a lot of companies work to see if they really want to hire someone. If they don't like what they see then they don't hire them. So I would do the same thing if I were you. People tend to be their real selves on facebook and fake at a job interview. But that's just what I have seen in my short years of life.

Everyone is different at work than they are in their personal life. That being said, I don't put anything on FB that I wouldn't want read in front of everyone I know. I would still talk to her and get a feel, if you don't have anyone else. On the other side, if you have reservations now, it probably won't work in the long run.

You are not over-thinking it. Social media is a great way to learn more about job applicants (including prospective nannies). If what she is writing makes you uncomfortable because it shows a lot of immaturity and/or instability, go with your gut and look elsewhere.

Go with your gut.....If you think its weird....its weird...move on!!! No soup for you!!!! NEXT!!!!

M:)

Go with your gut, mommies have instincts for a reason.

ETA: As far as what to tell her, I'd say "thanks for the resume, we'll let you know when we have made a decision". The less said, the better!

I would feel cautious. Since she will be a major influence in your children's lives, I think her emotional state would be important to me, too. On the other hand, a young woman who is very close to me is vibrant, loves attention, is dramatic and expressive, has a weakness for the irreverant joke or comment, and is completely professional, responsible, caring, and a spirited and imaginative wife and mother.

When you meet the woman, DO mention your concerns to her. It will be informative to see how she responds. And in an age where people do tend to underestimate the value of privacy, it might be a wake-up call.

This is one of the hazards of facebook (or any other social media outlet) posts...someday, an employer will look them up and what will they find out about you.

My experience (coming from a place that WILL look you up on social media or issues upon hiring) is that if you have drama in your facebook life, odds are good that'll spill over into work...

We also don't want to know about your new tattoo, your drunken night out and the fact that you woke up with someone new. And we DEFINATELY don't want to see your half nekked pics from your younger days...just sayin.

To the point: you're not overthinking...and I'd move on...

Sending good thoughts your way...

This is why most of the people I know have 2 FB accounts... one personal and one professional.

You would NEVER see me acting the way I do with my friends at *ANY* of my jobs, ever, ever, ever. Even at my current age. Sheesh... thinking back to late teens/early 20's in the military I would be 1/2 naked on Bourbon Street one weekend, and yet pillar of responsibility/meritorious promotion girl come monday. Thank god FB wasn't around back then.

nope, nope, nope..Don't hire her. This is your childs major influence.
If she posts intimate encounters, and way to much info on facebook,
where is her wisdom in speaking to your child?
Sounds like she is a bit immature and lacking wisdom. Wouldn't want that around my kiddos. Anyhoo...just my two cents :)

I am one of the most open minded but even myself....I don't put anything on FB that I would not be ok with anyone reading.

I have friends who posts everytime their baby poops and it irks me. I have other "friends" who love to talk about going out of town to party, etc and I'm like.....Wait a minute....you just told the world, you won't be home for a week...DUH

I do think this potential nanny is probably a good person but if she is one that posts every little thing, then what would keep her from talking about her new nanny job, children, posting fun pictures of the precious children she keeps, you get my drift.....

The most important thing is to communicate with her. Don't judge her and nix her before you know her BUT, let her know how her FB has made a negative impression on you. She might "wake up" and realize the importance of not posting everything she does.

Best wishes.

Yeah-- you're not overthinking this, these are your children she will be caring for, go with your gut. I would find someone else. Good luck!

I think every mother should go with their instincts when considering someone as their nanny. Having been a nanny for years, if I were a in your situation, I would politely keep looking. Many mothers are a bit uncomfortable with this idea, but your nanny is going to be your surrogate/co- parent, someone who will be called upon to use good judgment and make solid, grounded decisions on a daily basis-- nannies must be centered enough in themselves to make decisions regarding discipline, feeding, daily activities, being out and about--in short, your nanny has to be you when you are gone.

This woman sounds very immature and unaware to me. Posting intimate details of one's personal life online is just (pardon me) stupid and shows a lack of self-awareness. Many people use FB and other social sites without divulging too much information. Others use it like their diary, to broadcast their every thought.

Here's a question: do you want this person posting information about you, *your* family and children and her time with them? What happens if things don't go forward, or if trying it out for a time just doesn't work out? Chances are that you will see yourself and children discussed on her FB page. She doesn't seem to have an internal editor or the good judgment that is more or less an intrinsic requirement to working with children. I'd say keep looking---because if you don't like her behavior online, imagine what it will be like if she's working with your family. "overly dramatic, attention-seeking" is not the model you want for your children.

Sounds like she is showing her true colors on facebook. You are not over thinking this one bit. You've got to find someone you feel good about and who is emotionally stable and mature to be a nanny to your kids. I would say you need to keep looking. Good luck !

you're not overthinking it. they have stories all the time on the news about how you shouldn't post such things if you're looking for a job because potential employers are using sites like facebook now to dig out the "real" you. she sounds pretty immature, self absorbed, and a little ignorant. if she is willing to let the entire universe see this side of her, she shouldn't be surprised if people make judgements about her based on it. apparently it's what she wants people to see her as. i wouldn't want her watching my kids full time. no way.

You're worried now before she's alone with your kids. Forget about it. It doesn't matter if she's just a FB addict, you won't be comfortable.

I would say that there is definitely some emotional immaturity there if she is sharing so much personal information on FB!! I would not be comfortable letting someone like that be in charge of my young children. I would definitely move on and find someone more appropriate for taking care of your children.

No you are not overthinking this - these ARE your children we are speaking about - there are plenty of qualified mature (older nannies) not behaving in such irresponsible ways. I would never let someone who is that reckless and immature watching my kids - you might as well pick up some wino on the street corner and have them watch your kids if you would consider this girl.

She sounds immature and I would not feel comfortable with her watching my kids.

I think you've already decided. You need a trustworthy, *mature* person to care for your children. You'll always wonder if this person doesn't need a nanny herself.

If any of your instinct tells you something about this situation is not good for your family than follow that instinct! You can never overthink something having to do with your children, nor can you be to protective!

I would find someone else...

Let her go and move on to finding the "right" person for your kids. There's a good chance she'd be fine with the kids but her heart wouldn't be in it and if this is the case it wouldn't be best for your children. She'd just be a babysitter not a person who is actually caring for your children. Children embody, incorporate into themselves what they live and who ever is with them all day long. This is your life and their life you're talking about. Let your intuition guide you. ~~Hope you find that special one for your little ones.

Go with your gut. Don't introduce your kids out of guilt. Don't waste her and your time. Just let her know you've decided to go another direction but thanks for her interest. You don't owe her more details than that. In fact you don't owe her anything. Your kids are the most important thing. Don't let them get caught up into her drama.

No, I don't think you are overthinking this at all. What people are willing to share on Facebook is truly an insight to their personal boundaries. The "anonymous" factor of the internet does create more freedom for some people, but those are their thoughts and feelings.

If she seems inappropriate, emotional and shares initimate details on Facebook, remember, she will be spending large amounts of unsupervised time with your children. I would listen to your mommy instincts and tell her that you are flattered that she considered your family, but are going in a different direction. Our mamma bear instincts are there for a reason.

Barbara,

As a former Nanny, I must tell you that you are not over reacting. This is the person who will be spending a lot of time with your children daily. This person shares their life with your children and your children share their life with you.

When I was a Nanny, my charges knew my friends, were at my home and picked-up on my ways, (jokes and sayings).

This person will be a role model for your children, not only becuase of the time she spends with them, but also because YOU allowed her into your home, telling your children this is a good person.

Additionally, hiring a friend is hard. Would you be able to correct her if she's late or doesn't do what you want the way you want it done?

Don't hire her.

Good luck hunting.

R. Magby

I think that she may start to talk about things like that to your kids if you let her be the nanny. I would hang out with her with the kids for a few days to see what she does. But I wouldn't leave her alone with the kids untill I know for sure

I'd stick to my gut and find someone else..your post say's it ALL! Unless you seek drama:-)

Obviously you aren't comfortable with her so find someone else. I agree with you I wouldn't hire her.

Since they're your kids, it's not possible to overthink it! Meet with her, bring up the facebook thing and go from there.

Trust your instincts.

If her facebook page is as you describe I wouldn't want her around my kids. Go with your gut. I don't think you are overthinking it.

Oh my goodness, no way... I am SO with you. I'm not sure what you should tell her - I know it can be awkward - but I absolutely wouldn't have her watch my children. Her posts might not be a sign of emotional problems necessarily, but maybe maturity level - still a big problem if she will be influencing your babies!

I don't think you're over-thinking at all. I find it overkill when my real-life friends who are also friends on Facebook post too much info about their lives for all to see. Just because you can post something on a networking site, doesn't mean you should. If you meet with her, I would definitely trust your gut.

Pay attention to your trepidations... they are probably right. You don't want to see your family stories on the internet.

You know, we had this happen with our child's preschool teacher (who had also been a sometime babysitter). I didn't notice her being unprofessional in the school setting, but we did defriend her on FB and would never use her as a babysitter again. I am still on the fence as to how to handle the upcoming school year.