Potty and Newborn

Luckily my 3 year old was fully potty trained before the birth of my now 7 month old baby. However form everything that I've read, it is only recommended that you introduce something as potentially stressful as potty training in times of calm. It is specifically recommended NOT to try nearing the end of a pregnancy, or right after the birth of a new baby. It's quite a bit for the little one to handle & process mentally.

If she is fighting you...you will loose the power struggle. Stop fo awhile and try again in a few months. I have trained my 2 older ones after 3 and have found it is much easier than with younger kids. Good luck

You can never make a child potty train before they are ready. If she is screaming, then you don't make her use the potty. Even if your 3 year old seems happy to have a new baby in the house, it is a very stressful for her. You will drive yourself crazy if you push this issue. Just enjoy the baby, make your older child feel loved & the potty training will come in time. I speak from experience, because my 3 year old was almost completely potty trained until I had my baby and then she refused to use the potty. It will come, I promise. Good luck.

With so many new changes in your house, right now isn't the best time to potty train. Your daughter is just adjusting to her new sibling and all the changes that go along with it - i.e., the baby needs a lot more time with Mommy! Wait until she's adjusted and try again. You don't want to make potty training a power struggle as that will only delay her getting trained. Good luck and enjoy your new addition!

Don't use your maternity leave and precious early months with your new baby for this. Use it to ENJOY your little ones. There's plenty of time to learn to go potty later. Your 2 year old is adjusting to so much right now, her little world has been turned upside down. I would wait at least 6 months. Sometimes the jealousy stage doesn't kick in for the first few. Also, some kids just aren't ready for potty training until they are 3 1/3 or so.

Congrats on your newborn! My advice would be to put potty training on hold for at least a few months.... too many changes for your little girl to handle at once! Many times, you hear of already potty-trained toddlers "regressing" once a new sibling arrives and not going on the potty anymore. I would be surprised if you had much success if you continued to try to potty train now. While is sounds good in theory to use your maternity leave to potty train, I believe that it's in your and your children's best interest to use this time off to bond with your new little one, help your toddler transition to a new sibling, and try to rest up a bit yourself (if you can!). Trying to potty train right now puts too much strain on you and your little ones. Good luck and congrats!

I'd drop it for now. She doesn't want to and you cannot make her.

Your 3 year old is not ready! The fact that she is screaming is a sign that she's simply not ready. I have potty trained 2 kids and one was ready at 3 and the other just got potty trained at 4. If you force her you will not win and it could actually lead to many more problems in the future. The new baby is enough for a 3 year old to handle so I would try again in a few months.

Potty training is probably one of the most frustrating events for some parents. Why? Because it is the one thing that the child has complete control over - their bowels and bladder. They can hold it, they can sense that you're getting frustrated and manipulate the situation by not going and garnering attention from you, you name it and they'll do it.

Potty training doesn't work best when your child hears that you have a week off of work and 'you' have to teach her how to do it now. Potty training works best when 'she' is ready and takes the lead, while you are there to support her progress.

You mention that she is "fighting you tooth and nail" and she "screams when I tell her it is time to sit on the potty". Those are two big, huge signs that she isn't ready.

It'll go much more smoothly when she initiates the process.

ETA: Trust me, I know how you feel. I'm a teacher and have 10 weeks off with my 2+ year old. He's showing interest in the potty, too. I am due with my second child in December. Secretly I would LOVE, LOVE, LOVE for him to pick up the potty training this summer since he gets complete undivided attention from me. I've been showing him the videos, we've been reading the books, he has potty chairs that he loves to sit on, but the truth is, he isn't ready. As of right now, I'm just letting him "try potty" when he asks and following his lead. It would be the best thing in the world (for me) if he would get the hang of it this summer, but it isn't up to me - it's up to him and if he is ready. I'll certainly keep planting the seeds, but I realize it won't happen until he's ready. Good luck to you!

No you are not crazy, but you should have started sooner. Since you can't go back in time you will have to just let her cry but sit her on the potty. Eventually she will stop the screaming and do what she is told. Try telling her that now that she is a big sister she will have to help mommy by going to the potty and not wearing those baby diapers any more.

Can not force it. If she does not want to get on board with potty training you will never get her trained.
If you are planning to send her to preschool you might use that as an incentive by telling her if she would like to attend preschool she will need to use the bathroom. No diapers at preschool.
The short and narrow is, if she is not ready it will be a tough up hill battle.

I personally think that there is already a lot of stress on her and you should wait. The more interested she is, the easier will be. For your sanity too, I would wait.

If you're not crazy yet, you'll drive yourself to it. The older one won't train when the new baby gets all the attention. The older one wants to be like her. She's had you for 3 years already. It would have been easier to train her before you gave birth. You'll have to start treating the older one like the "big sister". Give her responsibilities having to do with big sister duties and praise her for being your big girl. You have to make her think she's still the important one. She needs that.

I used my maternity leave to potty train as well and it was HARD! My daughter was already having a hard time adjusting to being the big sister but I tried to use that to my advantrage. I told her that big sissys used the potty and wore panties so that baby sister could have the diapers. It seemed to help and she loved picking out her own princess panties. We started out with the thicker cotton panties and rubbers to go over the top and she wasn't crazy about that but when she went a day without accidents she got her princess panties as incentive. It took hard work and lots of patience but she was potty trained quick once SHE decided to do it.
I hope this helps. Good luck!

Hi There,
You should just enjoy your time home with them both. (the time goes sooo quick!) I did daycare for several years, and have my own 2 children. The best advise I got from my mom. She had 6 of us, and had to use cloth diapers! (talk about wanting your kids to get trained, so many diapers to wash, so little time!) Anyway, she said, "when any of you asked for help, that as when I helped you..."
Really, kids will not stay in diapers that long. They will see you do it, thier friends etc... They will WANT to do it eventually. I did not do that with my first, and I wish I did! (asked mom too late) My second one HATED wet pants. especially the "little swimmers" kids wear in the pool. it holds in the wetness, and feels bad. He was trained by the end of summer. (for the most part) We would swim almost every day, so he wore those alot. HE HATED IT! Lots of kids want to train them selves in summer. Maybe the diapers that make them feel wetter may prompt them to want to train faster too. Does not work for all kids, but there is hope. She will want to do it soon, and just waiting and encouragement when she is ready will be your best bet. The new baby is definatley a tough adjustment for her, so just love them and She will ask you soon! I am sure. Some kids act more babyish with a new baby because they feel they will get more attention if they act more like the baby. Good luck! Enjoy the summer and the kids! Maybe the advise of the fun undies SHE picks for when she is ready is a good way to let her choose, be in control, with a reward SHE will eventually want:-) It is good encouragement too!

I wouldn't do that. Actually, I'm in the same exact situation and I'm not doing that-- I have a 2.5 year old and a 5 week old. My pediatrician said pushing my older child to toilet train before she's ready would backfire and make our lives a lot harder. There is enough change going on right now, no need to further complicate things.

does she really like something? eg chocolate or crackers i would offer that as an incentive to get her started.

FORGET IT! She will do it in her own good time and NOW is NOT the time to worry about potty training. Enjoy your baby!!!!!!

Hi S.,

I had the same situation several years ago. I compounded mine with several other factors like starting work full time, starting my first in Pre-school and moving. We tried the potty training before Rose was born in July and that did not work. We read "How to potty train in a day" and used that, but only after the baby was born and he said he did not want diapers. He wanted attention and he got it. We had little trouble with him, but again he was ready and we told him the diapers were for his sister now (we used cloth). I do agree only when they are ready, mine was just good timing I suppose. I do recommend that book if you want to get some ideas. Best of luck!

I really think its probably not a good time to start to potty train your 3 year old. Maybe wait a few months while she gets used to having a new baby in the house. Having a baby is one of the biggest stressors on a sibling I think its just too much at once. I bet in a few months it will be a better experience for both of you.Good Luck.