Potty Delima!

Just let her decide when she wants to go. I tried with my son for nearly 2 long and very frustrating years. One day he just decided he was going to use the bathroom and no more diaper from that point on. He was 3 1/2. They will use the bathroom when they are ready. Keep up the praise when she does use it and continue to offer rewards, but don't push the issue. I found that the more I pushed the less he wanted anything to do with the idea.

You've already forced her and made it unpleasant. Lighten up a bit, it's more about you not wanting to change a 3yo, and less about when she's ready... not to be harsh, but seriously, it takes time and when they are mentally ready for it, they will do it. be patient w/ her, it's less frustrating for everyone involved that way. :)

Edited: Just wanted to edit this publically to say that we, as mommies, esp on this group, are a great group of ladies and i want to just apologize if i sound harsh above, don't mean to, but do think that developmentally, when a child is ready, a child is ready. They are usually physically ready before being mentally ready, and however we all deal with it, we all do know it's frustrating but eventually it does work if we are consistent and use praise and even the reward system if it works, because lawd knows, the cost of diapers is $$$$, and the thought of having to change my 3.5 yo's man-sized poops is getting harder by the day (not to mention smellier), and that if there is some magic formula anyone knows to get a child to just "get it", i'd love to know it :) My son has reverted back to hiding behind the sofa or somewhere and then lying when i ask, proving (like mentioned by someone above) he is in control of something in his life. I am guessing that like many boys, it will take until he's about 4, and pray that w/ my daughter, 23 months old now, that she'll be easier than my son... GOOD LUCK to us all, we are all great mommies :)

Now, this may not be to everyone's liking or work for every kid but it worked wonders for me with my now very well trained 4 year old. I used a book called "Toilet Training in less than a Day" by Nathan Azrin, PhD & Richard Foxx PhD.

I was not as strict as what they say in the book, but more or less it was a "Potty Training Boot Camp" at home. We had 2 days (although the book said just one would work), just the two of us (hubby kept older brother occupied - took him to his evening stuff etc.) We spent the whole day in the kitchen with snacks, drinks, a doll that can wet and a potty chair.

We started teaching the doll, he gave the doll water then put the doll on the potty to wet, we praied the doll. Then you move to having child try sitting on potty. It's much more detailed in the book, how often you space it out, ways to phrase things. You keep a list of people who will be proud of the child. You also teach the child to pull underwear up & down & empty potty chair into toilet.

I'm happy to give you the book if you want (I was just going to give it away on Freecycle). I just found it at Barnes & Noble (about $7). Feel free to email me at ____@____.com if you want my copy.

Good luck with what ever road you try, she is still young and has plenty of time

Hi K.,

This sounds so familiar, my daughter who is 2 1/2 also did exactly the same thing. She knew when it was time to go but was also very stubborn, we tried praising and rewarding but my patience was running out. BUT it's true what they say "They will go when they are ready". We went camping 2 months ago and took her potty with her, as soon as we got there she had a big accident in the car, we were upset but we didn't make her feel bad or anything. And then out the bloom she started going on her own and really hasn't had any accidents ever since. I couldn't believe that she finally decided to go on her own. So I'm just saying to be patient. One thing that I did try that I haven't seen anyone mention is that I didn't bother with pull ups, instead I bought her undies for her to wear on the weekends when we where there to try to show her, knowing that she will have accidents in them but the purpose was to show her the consequence of her going in her undies instead of in the toilet. I honestly don't know if that helped or not. Good luck!

With having 3 kids and my youngest is 3 and the last of potty training. I have learned to wait till they are ready. I have seen alot of posts and being almost 3 is ok not being potty trained. I worked with my little one for a while then I gave up and then She got it. Not being mean to you, cuz We have all done it, but you have to back off and let her do it when she is ready. That is what I learned with my first and last. Some reason my boy did fine.

I saw your response of the subject already. Taking stuff away for not getting potty trained isn't the answer. Take it a day at a time, I also noticed if I put undies on my little and didn't ask but let her know to tell me - it went alot better.

Dear K.,

Try something you may not have thought of yet. Praise her when she has an accident. Act like pee pee (or poop) coming out of her is the best thing that ever happened. And add on at the end, "next time, lets try putting it in the potty!" If she protests, ignore it and stay positive. And let her "help" clean it up! If she learns that she can let go of it all away from the diaper without causing a negative reaction from you, you will have accomplished a lot. Don't reward her with anything except your approval, love, and a chance to help Mommy clean. Don't give up after one day, you may go on for a week without progress, though I doubt it at her age. I am a clean freak, so it was hard for me not to get mad about accidents, but I forced myself to act happy. Fortunately, my kids are also clean freaks (except one). Because of this, they hated making messes and learned to use the potty within two weeks of being deprived of diapers. Good luck!

K.

Way late but don't feel like you are giving up you are respecting your child and her needs! Esp since you just had a baby this might be her way of holding on to her baby 'status' and get some extra tlc from mom and dad. My son trained around two and a half but was in nighttime diapers for a few years till about 5. My daughter would not go, she could care less, refused to even try, the week before her third birthday she got it, all at once pee,poop, night time everything. My next daughter trained herself at 2 she asked to use the potty and that was it, except for night time for the next year. My baby is almost 28 months and she will go sometimes, sometimes not and she doesn't care if she has a diaper on. Point is she will know when she is ready, they are all different, ignore it for a few months and try again.

Doctors say don't worry about them not being potty trained until 4yrs. While it may seem like the world expects them (or at least most daycares) ready by 3. Pushing will only hinder any progress. I made my son were undies most of the time, but at places where it wasn't practical I had him where underwear with pull ups underneath. My son took until his 4th birthday even though early on he had gotten it and was being stubborn. My son didn't want to go as often as I made him go about once an hour. I told him to try and promised to try too so he wasn't doing it alone.

I feel your pain!! I have twin 2 1/2 yr. olds and we have tried everything that you have to no avail. Everyone I have talked to says not to force it or it will become more of a battle when they are really ready. A friend of mine just took the diapers away one day, using underwear and plastic pants and just dealt with the mess until her daughter got the hang of it. It took about 3-4 days and of course there were accidents but she is now potty trained. I think we just have to be patient and know that eventually it will happen.

My daughter turned 3 in July and is still not potty trained. I asked the doc about it at her checkup and he said the real smart ones usually wait the longest because they know that it is the one thing they really have control over.

So, your daughter must be super smart!!! :)
Diapers are frustrating, but don't stress!
Good luck!

you may not have a 3 year old in diapers. My daughter pretty much stopped using diapers on her birthday. She knew there were a lot of things she'd be able to do once she reached that age (preschool and camp with her older brother, ballet class) and that she had to be potty trained for it. We had already done a lot of teaching so she knew how it worked (like yours does I think) but I guess she needed that deadline. A deadline also worked for my son, who I had a lot of trouble with. With him, I pushed too hard and he backed off, as the only way he could remind me that I wasn't in control of it but he was. I was very stressed about it, and nothing I tried worked. He was almost 4 by the time he finally ditched diapers. We were out of town visiting family and I said that once we got home he'd have to use the potty. He agreed, and he has peed on the potty consistently since then. Pooping has been another long struggle for him, but deadlines and rewards have worked for that.

I had some challenges with both my kids and the doctor told me not to worry - they will get there. The average age is 2y 9 m, can be more, can be less. First, you shouldn't try around a bg cahnge in her life, like a new baby brother -- too much to hande. I had my son when she was 22 m and I didn't push. After I while, I bribed, I promised gifts and nothing happened. But I did bought princess underwear and told her to let me know when she was ready. At 2y and 9 m, she told me and that was it for the diapers. With my son, I did the same and he said he woulddo it when he turned three. A week before his third birthday he said he was ready (and sometimes he still has an accident when he is sleeping) but he is doing just fine. he is 3y 1m now!

K.,
My niece and my son were not ready until age 3. Maybe you should just wait. I know society says do it by age 2 but I don't think society got it right. Patience. Pretty soon she will want to go on the potty. And if someone says something to you, ignore them. Her time will come.

This sounds like you described my daughter.....we are in the same boat. In fact I just told her this morning that when she is doen with this batch of diapers that we are not going to buy anymore and she will have to go on the potty. I didn't want to push her, b/c I just had another baby 3 weeks ago. Like you I am done changing poop from the same food that I myself am eating, it is getting gross. I am going to buy her this potty watch from one step ahead http://www.onestepahead.com/catalog/product.jsp?productId...
I will let you know how it works. C.