Potty Issues - Chicago,IL

C.,
I might suggest trying a supportive tactic rather than a harsh one. Perhaps at this point now she has become really uptight about going to the bathroom since she is being punished for accidents- and she is getting worked up inside about it. My daughter loves to help clean so she would have loved to clean the bathroom with me, too- it would have been fun mommy time just the two of us. I think you may be overestimating hersense of rationalization- as is she doesn't mind wetting herself becasue she doesn't mind the consequences. I really would suggest taking a soft approach. Ask her why she can't make it to the bathroom, ask her how you can help her make it in time, reward her for positive behavior (just like many people use sticker charts for potty training- you could give her stickers for each day she doesn't have an accident). DOn't make it negative and she might not feel bad about it.
Good luck,
K.

She could have UTI. I would check with your Ped.
The other thing, has anything new changed? She could be regressing due to a stressful situation. My 4 year old did it when I was pregnant. But that is definately not normal.

First thing to do is make an appointment with the doctor. I am a family childcare provider and we had a similar experience here w one of the four year olds not long ago. It turned out to be a physical problem, so that's the place I would start. If nothing there has been no big changes in her life recently, it would be very unusual for a four year old to just "forget" her potty learning. so check with the doctor. (I believe it was some kind of bladder spasims if I remember right w the four year old here. There is medication available if needed, but the doctor's advice was to try to wait it out without meds. Usually takes about six months. In the meantime, we helped the child to get to the bathroom frequently. Things are improving.)

K.

My 3 1/2 year old did this a couple of months ago during the final weeks of my pregnancy. I even made her wear a pullup one day, but it was uncomfortable so I took it off. Honestly, time outs, threats, taking away tv...nothing worked. She knew how much is dissappointed us. I had to go back to telling her to "go potty". Now, every morning just before breakfast, I have to remind her & she goes to the potty before she eats. I just have to stay on top of it & tell her to go a few times during the day. She requested a "Potty Chart" like we used during potty training. I still haven't gotten around to making one. But, she responded well to stickers on her chart while potty training. Good luck!

I can totally relate - I have gone through a couple of periods of relapse like that with my 4 yr old daughter. I had tried all those things that you mentioned and I was disconcerted that it didn't seem to phase her. Its like she stopped caring. So finally I realized that taking things away or expressing dissapointment weren't motivaters. I instigated that every time she went to the bathroom (AND her pants were dry) she could have a chocolate chip (could be substituted for something small she likes and is special to her). It worked within 24 hours after a 2 week - peeing every day relaspe. This relaspe phase has happened three separate times - and each time I finally realize that I have to give her an incentive. Eventually - after several days - her potty training is reestablished and is solidified - she becomes USED to trying again.. She usually stops asking for her incentives after about 5 days after it becomes routine. This also helped her transition to keeping dry at night as well - she WANTED to try. That was key for us. Hope that helps!

I agree with the other poster that this may be the start of a UTI. Check it out with your pediatrician to rule it out if you haven't already. It also wouldn't hurt to take a softer approach with her since it's probably not intentional. Good luck!

C. - I would take her to the doctor to make sure she does not have a bladder infection. This is fairly common with little girls and can cause frequent urination. It might be a physical problem rather than a defiant one.

Good luck!

Honestly, I would do the pull-ups. It would save you both the stress and is related to the problem. By what you said, it sounds like she is CHOOSING to have the accidents. I'd explain to her that since she's not staying dry, she needs the pull-ups. Once she keeps the pull-ups dry for say 2 days in a row, can go back to just underwear. Something like that. Shameful, maybe, but it's a cause and effect...she CHOOSES to not use the potty so she is CHOOSING to wear a pull-up. Feeling shameful for wearing pull-ups after CHOOSING to wet her pants isn't such a bad thing if she is really choosing to have the accidents...it could easily lead her back to not having accidents if she doesn't like to wear the pull-ups. Best wishes to you guys.

Did you call your doctor? She might have a bladder infection and doesn't know how to explain it to you.

I agree with the softer approach. Let her know it is ok to have accidents but big girls use the potty like you.

Check out to make sure she doesn't have a UTI. That did happen to my niece, but when she was younger. It slowed down her potty training. I would also check to see if there is anything at school or anything else that has upset her.

Give her TONS of praise when she is successful, then she will association positive attention versus negative of the accident.

Good luck

Anything dramatic happened lately? I know when we first brought our daughter home, my son regressed a bit ( he too was closer to four) and had been potty ttrained for about a year already. He was doing things like playing at the park and peeing. Honestly I was horrified at first...but I just stopped making a big deal...I was like oh well we have to go home and change...that seemed to clear up the issue in a couple of weeks. I hope this helps I amsure it will pass soon.

I had this issue with my 4 year old. I took her to the Dr. and she had the Onset of a UTI, but that didn't stop the problem. Turned out she was just to busy to make it to the bathroom on time.

I decided to go back to the days of early potty training. Every hour I set a timer, when the timer went off I made her stop what she was doing and go to the bathroom. This helped remind her that she can stop playing, go potty, then return to playing. I also let her do "special" things when she stayed dry. Like play on the computer (Playhouse Disney, Noggin) she loves "big girl" time and it seemed to work. So far she has not had any furthur accidents (knock on wood) for almost 6 months.

Hope this helps.

Our 6yo started having problems early this year. In her case, it wasn't that she didn't care, but that she didn't seem to get any warning; one minute she'd be playing, the next she'd be running to the bathroom and not make it.

Her teacher had mentioned the possibility of a urinary tract infection, which we had discounted because she had no pain. But, a quick trip to the doctor and one lab test later and the UTI was confirmed.

In hindsight, one thing that we hadn't noticed was that the urine had a very strong, funny smell. It wasn't just the smell of urine in a diaper or an "accident", but much stronger.

This may not be your case, but it definitely caught us by surprise.

Did a major change happen recently? Is she complaining of any pain? She may have a UTI, and not be showing any symptoms. I would take her in for a urine test, she may not be able to control it.
Good Luck, let us know how things turn out!