Potty Training 2 1/2 Year Old, Won't Stop Pooping in Pants!

Updated on August 28, 2008
A.H. asks from Sherwood, AR
21 answers

My two and a half year old son has been pee pee trained for a couple of months now. He will not poop in the potty! He poops in his pull up or underwear. He even hids when he does it. We have tried putting him on the potty after he does it and offering rewards. He tells us that he is a big boy and that he should go in the potty, but does not do it. Has anyone gone through this, and if so did you find something that worked?

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So What Happened?

Thanks for all of your wonderful responses! I am trying out some new things and will keep everyone posted on his success. Thanks so much!

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N.W.

answers from Little Rock on

Stay with him with the potty chair and read him a book until he does his business. They usually do it the same time everyday.

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J.T.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Does he have books, things to do while he's on the potty? You can get plastic ones that can be easily wiped off if that's a concern. My daughter just needed to spend a little more time on the potty to realize she needed to poop & without the distraction she would simply pee & think, ok, well done with that then & want off.

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J.S.

answers from Enid on

my son did the same thing. a friend of mine suggested letting him help clean up the 'mess' and then maybe. dylan (my son) doesn't like his hands dirty so this was perfect. i asked him to take the cloth and clean himself up, it got on his hands, he nearly freaked, has pooped in the potty since :-) i don't know if this will work for you, but it's worth a try!! good luck!

p.s. he was almost 3.

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E.W.

answers from Little Rock on

My son did the exact same thing! We never found a magic cure. He just sort of grew out of it. He will be 3 in a couple of weeks and he started poo pooing in the potty about 2 months ago. I know its hard, but try to be patient. He should grow out of it soon.

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K.G.

answers from Jackson on

I had exactly the same problem with my son. I just eventually had to let him decide when he would go in the toilet. The more I tried, the more he refused. When I let him decide, he went when he was ready. Now He is no problem. Just back away for now.

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N.N.

answers from Tulsa on

My daughter did the exact same thing and it was SOOOO frustrating. She would wear panties during the day but as soon as she knew she needed to have a BM she'd disappear and I'd find her with a stinky pull-up on. This went on for what seemed like forever. So we just kept on with telling her she'd get a special ice-cream cone sticker on her chart that hung on the bathroom door every time she'd go poop in the potty, and when she had five of those stickers she'd get to go get an ice cream cone. They seem to just have some sort of fear of going completely to using the toilet, and the pooping in the potty was the last piece of the puzzle! He'll get there so just try to keep encouraging it and stay positive with him.

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N.M.

answers from Texarkana on

welcome to motherhood girls are wonderful and easy to train, boys are wonderful too but hard to train, girls are trained by one in a half, boys you don't even start till they are two or more it takes longer it took me almost one in half years to train both of my boys both of my girls were trained by one in half one of them in a year and I don't mean that I was trained they came and told me when they needed to go. everything takes time some things are longer than others. good luck

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C.I.

answers from Fort Smith on

One thing that worked for me is to use Fleet glycerine suppositories. I just used them a few times so that my child would have success on the potty. I put one in about the time my child would normally go (not an exact science), have them walk to the bathroom (carry if necessary) and sit on the potty. You can read a book with them or have thme focus on something relaxing. I wouldn't tell him to "push" or anything because I don't think that they have that quite figured out and might squeeze instead. The suppostiory gives them something to push against and the urge to go. My children would usually poop the suppository right back out. Once they experience success a couple of times, it is usually smooth sailing. The suppositories are over the counter and my children have never experienced any ill effects. Good luck!

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M.L.

answers from Fayetteville on

Hi A.,
I went through the same thing with my daughter when she was about that age. It wasn't until after she was 3 that she finally learned it. I was really frustrated with it for awhile, especially because she seemed to hold it until naptime and then do it and interrupt naptime. I did the wrong thing by getting upset about it. My dh even told her one time that if she did it again she would get a spanking. She didn't poop at all for 3 days! We had to backtrack a little there and tell her that she wouldn't get a spanking after all. I think it was possibly then that I realized she just hadn't figured out how to go on the potty. So I changed my efforts to trying to get her to relax on the potty about the time she would normally go. It took some time teaching her to do it, but eventually she went once in the potty and after that she was poop trained! One thing to think about: Is he sitting on a big potty or a little potty? Some kids can't figure out how to poop if their feet aren't touching the ground, so if he is on the big potty, put a stool there for him to put his feet on. Other than that, just focus on helping him learn how to do it. It might take some time, but it will happen.
M.

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H.H.

answers from Shreveport on

My son did the same thing...at this age they are going through a stage where they don't yet understand that the 'poo' is not part of them and needs to go in the potty, they don't want to let go of it. What we had to end up doing was (when possible) put him in 'big boy' underwear at all times (except at night, that should come at around 3 1/2 or so) and when he pooped or peed in his underwear, we had him take them off himself and clean himself up and wash his underwear out in the tub or sink (at least attempt to). After about 2 or 3 times of having to do this himself he finally realized "hey this is yucky and not fun" and started going in the potty. I believe that the pull-ups hinder them since they are so much like diapers, they don't know the difference. I know it can be a bit more messy with the underwear but after a few accidents they realize that having pee or poo in their underwear is not comfortable and cleaning themselves up is not fun so they eventually get the idea that it all goes in the potty. My husband and I both work so this was a difficult ordeal for us since he was with a babysitter all day but after doing this as much as possible when I was home, it finally clicked. Good luck, I hope this helps!

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A.M.

answers from Oklahoma City on

the problem in our house was that my 3 year old would not poop in the potty, but would only go in her diaper during her nap. This would ruin her nap and it wasn't fun for me either. So when I knew she was ready to poop, I told her she could poop in her diaper if she was sitting on her potty. Cleaned it up first day. Second day I cut a hole in her diaper (so she couldn't see it) and the poop went in the potty, A Miracle from her point of view. Did that for a few days, letting her decide when we would try it without the diaper. After she went on the potty without her diaper, from then on she was fine, and even stopped using diapers during her nap. For my girl there were two issues. One is that one time she went poop on the potty and we were a little too excited about it (and maybe exclaimed about how big it was too loudly) and she got embarassed, so she didn't want to do it where we saw her. So once it miraculously went in the potty, we were very low key about it. SEcond I think the splash effect bothered her, so she only pooped in her little potty for a long time.

Good luck!

A.

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G.S.

answers from Fayetteville on

I went through this with both my son and daughter. Basically you have to just pay very close attention to their signs and then take them to the potty as soon as you see them showing signs of needing to go(my son would always shiver and say he was cold, and my daughter would always get a specific look on her face:). If your lucky they will start going, but my kids didn't! They both spent hours at a time sitting on their potty and would not go. Finally, devoting day after day to consistantly cathing them and putting them on the potty-just to have them hold it-I gave them a suppository. I only had to do it once with my son and about three times with my daughter and we were done! I know it sounds harsh, but a lot of kids struggle to relax. They really want to go, but they just can't. There is actually a medical diagnosis for it. I know it's frustrating, but your almost there!!

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C.M.

answers from Baton Rouge on

Well I do not have any advice for you because my 3 yr. old daughter does the same thing. Poops in her panites or pullup and she hides when she does it. She knows the right thing to do she just won't do it. I hope you get some good advice. Just wanted to let you know I was going through the same thing.

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A.W.

answers from Fort Smith on

Hello, A.. My name is A.. My little guy will be 3 in a week and we just now got the whole potty training thing down! We started putting him in big boy underwear and whenever he would pee pee or poop in his undies, I would put a diaper on him and tell him only little babies poop in their undies. He hated that. I would make him wear it for at least 20 minutes and he would cry the whole time because he didn't want to wear it. After about 3 times of doing that, we never had an accident again! Good luck!

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C.C.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Patience is the only thing that works. You are doing everything right. Both my boys were late potty trainers (at 3-4yrs old) and pooping was the hardest part especially the with the oldest. We bribed with dum-dum suckers, trains, and hotwheels. lol
My husband just wanted to throw the underwear away as he was grossed out by it. hahaha. Fortunately, I was a SAHM with the first one and the second one didn't take quite as long to figure it all out. Your son will get it one day.

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A.D.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Hey A.,

I went through the same thing with my four year old son when he was that age. We had finally mastered peeing in the potty but he would just poop in his underpants or ask me to put a diaper on him so he could go. Finally, I turned to my grandmother who raised six boys. Her advise was tell him if he does it again that he is going to help you clean it up and help clean himself up including washing out his underwear (if he is wearing underwear) and if he does it of course follow through with what you told him. I was a little skeptical but I told him and after I told him that, he never pooped in underpants.

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Y.B.

answers from Pine Bluff on

I have 3 children that had the same problem. My son will soon be 18yrs old and twins daughters soon will be 11yrs old. My son's grandma took him to a Gastrologist about it, and we learned he couldn't help it. Same thing with my daughters.
What is happening is that the poo-poo is to hard, and they will hold it until they can't anymore, and it come out in their pants. They hold it because it hurts to push it out.
The doctor put my children on a Prescribe Laxative, it has worked. They don't like the taste of, it so I hide it in their food. Like Oatmeal.
But as for hiding his underwear...my children, all of them did the same thing. I made them wish them out, everytime, then when I learned they couldn't help it, I felt bad about it. My twins are still on the laxative, they started taking it almost 2 yrs now. I tried to take them off to see how they would do, and My youngest got so backed up that she was bent over in pain. I took her to a doctor and he said she needed a laxative. So I gave it to her again, it seems that it may be a while before my twins come off of it.
Hope this helps.

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B.H.

answers from Oklahoma City on

My son did this at first, but I would take him with me, after he pooped his pullup and go dump the poop into the toilet and flush it. One day he sat there and pooped in the potty! It's very common. <<hugs>>

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B.S.

answers from Shreveport on

A., look at my request from 6/17/08. Above all the advice is to relax! It will happen. We have all been there!
B.

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J.D.

answers from Jonesboro on

I have 3 boys and I finally figured out the best way to potty train. Buy him his favorite character on the underwear (ours was batman)and allow him to wear them. When my son accidentally pooped in the underwear I would have him throw the underwear away. It broke his heart to have to throw batman away and it only took 1 or 2 pair and it didn't happen again! Hope it helps.

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R.E.

answers from Oklahoma City on

My husband did the same thing until he was about 4 - he'd pee in the potty, then pull up his underwear and poop in them. Finally his parents gave him over to his grandma, and she made him wash out the underwear after he soiled them. Once was enough. I figure, start teaching your son consequences of soiling his pants - he has to clean them out - and he'll learn it's easier to go in the potty. Good luck!

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