Potty Training- 21 Mos Girl

Hello K.,
Good Question!
I also have a 21 month old daughter who is interested in the potty. I have been doing all of the same things that you are doing, and she too, still pees in the tub.
- J.

Let her go when she wants, don't push it at all. In response to the starting her too yound comment, it is said that children will begin getting ready at 18 months, so i dont think it is too young. You need to eb patioent though, she is already doing great and thsi process does take a long time for some children, just sit back and let her do it at her own speed.

K.,

My husband and I bought the musical preschool potty when my daughter was a year and half and we left it in the bathroom hoping for her to seeing it, sit on it and what not. We thought she would start early but did not. My personal opinion is that you are starting too early. It has to be when "they" are ready and I don't think that before 2 years old, many children are ready. We waited until a little past 2 and got her the dora seat that you put on your toilet bowl and she loved it as it was the big girl potty. And one day we put her on it, and she went. We were so psyched. And thereafter she would go. she had less then 5% accidents and it worked. I am glad we waited vs pushing it. Just my advise... Good luck!

i was told you're supposed to put them on the toilet every 30-45 min whether they go or not. then when they do go give them a treat. i've been slacking, but once i actually get on the ball and do it (i was frustrated after a week of NOTHING, but i wasn't doing it every 30-45 min) i plan on giving my daughter (just turned 2) a barbie that i put aside for the very 1st pee on the potty, and every pee afterwards, i'll give her a treat like put on a movie she likes, or a fruit snack she really likes, maybe go out for a walk (now that it's really nice outside) and once she goes poopy for the 1st time i have a BIG "special" barbie that has an animal in the same box that i plan on giving her (these are unopened barbies that my mother bought me yrs ago to try to "replace all the ones she gave away when she didn't feel like lugging them w/ us across states to move here) and same goes for every poopy afterwards, little treats that aren't that bad, maybe stickers, reading a story when we normally only read for bed, fruit snacks, movies, etc. once she's going on the potty for awhile i have some underwear that i will have her wear, but i'm not sure if i'm going to have her wear them OVER the diapers until there's no messes, or try to get her to not mess the underwear and risk having a stain on the furniture or carpet if she has an accident (i don't want to rush her).

i'm not sure if this is of any help for you, but this is my plan. i was told that the every 30-45 min is the best way to do it (and that the pull ups are great since hey "Velcro" on and off and can put them back on if there's nothing in them! i wish you the best of luck, it can be frustrating, and in another week or so i'm planning on starting my frustrating journey BACK into potty training! let us know what works, and if i get her going, i'll let you know if it worked.
oh, and my daughter tells me "peepee potty" every couple hrs, but by the time i get the seat on the toilet and her pants down and the diaper off either she's "changed her mind" or went already....so we're working on that too!

I'm a big believer in this potty training tip: Once you start, don't go back!!! There is nothing worse than going back and forth between panties and diapers. And, once you've started, commit to it whole-heartedly....forget about yourself and what you want to do for a good week or 2 and focus on the potty training.

Here's what I do...take her to the store and have her help you pick out specail underwear (like any characters she's into, princesses, etc.) Then put her in them! I ask her every 30 minutes or so if she needs to go to the potty OR you can just say, "Let's go to the potty!". If she goes or even if she wets her pants, note the time and how long it is until the next time she goes. You'll kind of get a feel for her "schedule"....of course this can be affected by how much liquid she takes in, but in general you'll be able to figure it out. Once I'm familiar with the time, I'll even set a timer to remind myself to ask her/tell her to go to the potty.

When she does go in the potty, I give tons of praise and then a reward...a sticker on a chart, a small candy or snack, a book she wants to read, or I even let her watch a special Potty Movie (my kids loved "It's Potty Time" even though I think it's extremely annoying, but it worked!).

When she messes up, try really really hard NOT to make a big deal of it!...this one is really hard for me, cuz it can be soooo frustrating! It is also discouraging to her and then she'll start to hide her messes or be afraid to tell you, etc. So, when she messes up, just say..."oh well, maybe next time!" or "remember to always tell me so that I can help you" or similar things....and give hugs.

Potty training can be long and tedious....just DON'T GIVE UP!!! So many of my friends would say, "just give up, it's not worth it, diapers are easier, just wait till they are 3, etc." But, I literally couldn't afford to! Besides if you give up, your child will get so confused and it will be harder and harder to try again.

So, be committed and you'll do great! Good luck!

It sounds like she's doing great. You can also make it a fun activity and have her "teach" her dolls to go potty. I would do this reinforcing tactic every day. Then I would make a special trip with her to the store so she could pick out fun, big girl underpants. We tried putting our daughter in underpants all day which would essentially "force" her to relieve herself on the potty or just wet herself. This works for some kids but not all, namely ours. She just got really anxious about the potty seat so we eased off and just made it fun and stress free for her. That worked much better. She has the type of personality that required giving her time to transition through milestones. Once our daughter was peeing all the time on the potty, we kept her in underpants all the time until she had to poop. Then we gave her a choice to use the diaper or to go on the potty since she was especially anxious about pooping on the potty (She could hold her poop up to 3 days in protest; not good at all.) She just became fully potty trained at 32 months. Keep in mind that most kids fully potty train in their 3rd year despite the many that do it before age 3; and that siblings tend to potty train much quicker as they'll have a model they're looking up to all the time. Another piece of advice... stay away from pull ups as they are glorified diapers and compete with the excitement over underpants. (And try not to shame her no matter how frustrated you get.) Best of luck.

This is what I did with my daughter, though she was 30 months old. She had her own potty for a while that she would use occasionally. I bought her some "big girl underpants" with characters that she likes and picked a day to start. I put her in her underpants and told her she had to use the potty. I put the potty in the room where we spend most of the day and didn't make any plans to go out. I put a sticker chart on the bathroom door and every time she used the potty, she got to pick a sticker for her chart. We had a few accidents but otherwise she did great! I even took her to a doctor's appointment the next day in her underpants. She wears a pull-up at night. Of course everyone who would come over would comment on her sticker chart which made her happy and, I think gave her encouragement. Once you start, don't go back. And be sure to have paper towels and extra underpants on hand; she is sure to have accidents.

Good luck!
C.
Emmalie and Peter's mommy

Don't be hard on her and don't make her feel bad when she does pee in the tub. When she's ready she'll get it right. Just keep on encouraging her when she does sit on the potty.

just watch the potty videos, for the next few weeks, and let herr pretend to pee for as long as it takes,

then in the summer, try and plan and time her pee's by using the oven timer,

this always helps me,

and after sitting her on the potty every 20 minutes, you will eventually get her to pee LOL an thats the starts of it.

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I would say that she is showing signs of readiness, but is not really ready. Proceed cautiously, you could turn her off and frustrate her. One way to kind of test it is to put real underwear inside her diaper, and take her to the potty every hour and sit her down and when she does it in the potty, clap and dance...or whatever you do. She will not like the feeling of the wet underwear, and will start to try to keep it dry. Put clean underwear in her diaper for longer times during the day. But if she seems oblivious to it and wets regardless of the underwear, she is probably not ready. Wait a couple of weeks and try again. My son was not ready to be potty trained until he was 3 and a half, and then it just happened over night. His cousin, a girl, was pee trained by two and a half, but did not want to poop in the potty until well after four because her mom pushed it.

Hi there, I've been doing elimination communication with my daughter since she was 4 months (now 14 months) with great success. We do use diapers but we have a different attitude about them. We use diapers when we go out or at night. We use them as a "just in case" rather than a "diapers is where you go" kind of attitude. You could talk with your daughter about this and maybe try being diaper free at home or use training pants if you don't want accidents. Other good times to offer the potty are first thing in the morning or right after a nap. You can also offer before leaving the house as that's a good habit to get into.

Here is the best advise I can give you... My daughter was a very early Toilet Trainer.. she started at 15 months and finished by 18 months. She was so easy. I also stayed home with her which made it a quicker process. I skipped the whole seperate potty and went straight for the adapter for the toilet. This eliminated the fear she might have using the big potty in the future. I set a timer for her to go potty every hour. If she did not go, that was fine, I reset the timer for 15 minutes and tried again until she went. I did not use pull ups during the day at all. But she wore pullups or a diaper at night until she was able to hold it through the night. I stopped any fluid intake at dinner time so that she was less likely to wet the bed. After a few weeks of her going well or the time between her going lengthened, I would move it another 1/2 hour to an hour back from the last potty time. So instead of every hour it was every 2 and then 3 ..and so on...You have to be consistant with a child. This means if you are out to eat or shopping or what not, you can put a diaper on them and forget about it until it is too late. You have to continue the routine where ever you are or they will think it is okay to potty when they are not home. Good luck! I am working on potty training my 16 month old now.

** My daughter had a Dora training seat that fit in the toilet.. she loved dora... so when she had to go potty, she would say "Mommy, Dora!" And I would know. If you find something that she loves such as Dora she might get the hang of saying that 1st... I just used that cue and then responded by" Do you have to go potty?" and she would shake her head and run to the bathroom door."

After going through potty training a few times, I came up with the plan to wait until very near two and a half. I have had ten chldren and pretty much all of them were very ready and could go in and go at that age. I used the regular toilet and would sit with them until they went. Pretty quickly they could be told to go and try..I would come right along, but they worked to get their clothes down and so on..making it more their thing than me. I did make them obey to go and try. If they did not obey they were corrected. I also used tiny candies to give each time they went. But I did not do alot before, I had been through trying underwear before it is time etc. I did use cloth diapers for all but my last one..so I just pulled them up and down until they were dry for a few weeks then to underwear. I think when they are dry after a nap is a good sign they are ready. I might take them like you are saying before bath and if they wake up dry...but as far as going in during the day and so on..wait until she is really ready. I did have one daughter train herself..her brother before her..drove me crazy so I was worn out and did not want to begin with her..she wanted to go and it was over very quickly..that is how I started to wait. Most of my kids were dry at night at the same time as well..2 and half is a great age verbally, and physically potting training.~D.

HI K., Here's some great advise. It worked for my Son - and he was pretty much trained in a day. And other friends of mine tried this too with much success.

Block off a week where you have no obligations that take you out of the house and then choose a day and then when your daughter wakes up that day, take off her overnite diaper and keep her bare bummed or with just undies....and never again put a diaper on her during her waking hours. For the first few days bring the pottie into the room that you/she spends most time in and about every 1/2 hour to 1 hour mention the potty and if she doesn't want to go, then just put her on about every hour. You'll get an accident or two, but she will learn much faster this way.

I have learned from past friends, etc....that pull-ups and diapers during potty training time is just too confusing for the kids. So take them off completely and go from there.
My son wears only underwear during the day and diapers only at nap and bedtime.
it's been almost 3 months for my Son and he has only had 3 accidents since day 1.

Just remember that pull-ups don't work.
Pick a day and go for the no diapers ever, except nap and nighttime.

Trust me, you might have a few accidents, but in the end, she will learn faster and your accidents will be shorter.

Good luck and if you need more info from me, let me know.
D.

Hi K.,

The signs you mention could be signs of potty readiness, or not - my kids both told me they had "gone" for a year and a half before being toilet trained.

My suggestion at this point would be using cloth diapers or cloth training pants with waterproof outer layer or plastic pants. Take her to the toilet every hour or hour and a half, briefly. This approach will get her familiar with the routine of using the toilet, it will teach her what happens when she pees in her pants - she'll feel very wet, and she'll start to learn what it feels like just before that happens. If she is really ready, then she'll start holding her urine til you take her to the toilet.

Good luck,

Hi K.,

My daughter is 2 1/2 years old and just startingnow to be potty trained. This is why your request caught my eye. She has a musical potty in the bathroom next to ours and at first it was a toy, she dragged it into every room and sat on it (she thought it was a chair). She was 26 months old at the time. The first night she got it she had to sleep with it, I was not a fan of this but my husband gave in and let her have it. From that night on, once the novelty wore off we explained how it is a potty and we dont bring the potty into other rooms. She ignored it for months, didnt want anything to do with it. Now at 28 months, just recently has she shown interest again and is starting to use it. My suggestion, would be wait and let her tell you when she is ready. She seems a bit young, however you know your child best and maybe she is ready. Just it sounds like she may not be ready for training b/c there is a great deal of inconsistency. I would keep the potty there, have her sit on it before bath time but I wouldnt push it. She will let you know when she is ready. Good luck.

I also have two little girls - that are 19 months apart! ;)
The only thing I would say is to not pressure the situation. My daughter, now three, did the same thing and had the interest but we would still have accidents! But the key thing here is that she is trying!
We had a sticker chart on the bathroom door and she would get a sticker every time that she would go! When she filled up the chart, she would get a prize :)
She loved the stickers more than anything ;)
Good luck!

this sounds gross but once you commit there can be no turning back! buy one of those potties you can put in your car so she can go anytime, anywhere. (i used the bjorn one) keep toilet paper and bags in your car for disposal. you have to stop using diapers during the day - cold turkey - as well. she sounds ready but will get confused and will revert back to diaper use if she knows it's an option. good luck!

Hi K.,
My daughter seemed ready at approx. the same age as your daughter. She was receptive at first, and then she had some setbacks. She wasn't completely trained until almost age 3 when I was comfortable in sending her to school with panties. This may take longer than you'd expect.

Here's what I did: I had her drinking all day long -- this way whenever I asked her to try, there was usually something to pee out. Also, whenever we were home, she was in panties or bare-bottomed. It seemed to help. Pooping, on the other hand, was a totally different story. She was terrified!! I remember sitting with her and hugging her tightly when she had to go. She would hold it so long that it hurt her to go. We even bribed her with M&Ms and other small treats. If your daughter does this, I would add extra fruit/veggies and apple juice to her diet (and even the tiniest of prune juice in her regular juice) to keep her regular.

One big mistake I made was waiting too long to have her use a full-sized toilet. She loved her potty so much, but when we were out and she didn't have it available, she wouldn't go.

Good luck!
L. B.

Dear K.,
I'm glad you see the signs of potty training. From what you wrote, water seems to stimulate her going. When she sits on the potty, I would run water and put her feet in a small tub of warm water.
When training my daughter, I used to read books to her as she sat on the potty seat. Not only did this make it an enjoyable experience, but relaxed her enabling her to go. Adults use this concept, and it works well on kids too. A funny story: I would mostly read her books about Barbar, the Elephant in the bathroom. She ended up calling her excretions, "Big baba, and Little baba". This became the terminology in our household throughout the childhood of both my children. Nobody else understood this, but we all did.
Potty training takes creativity - and fun. Keep trying different things until you find what works. It keeps parents on their toes.
Good Luck, W.

We had great luck using the book "Potty Training for Dummies". There were days that I just let her run around naked and put her on the potty every half hour. Basically, she thought that she could pee freely if she had any clothes on. I had to reaaly devote my attention to her but it was worth it b/c it didn't take too long. The book explains it all.