Hi Moms -
I know there have been quite a few potty training questions, but for some reason I can't seem to find them in the archives.
Anyways, my son will be 3 in January and we started potty training about a week and a half ago. He is doing great with the "pee" part of it all. Even staying dry at nap and night time. The problem is the "poop". I know a lot of kids struggle with it, but he is really bad. I have offered putting a diaper or pull up back on..everything I can think of. I don't push pooping on the potty and I don't even talk about it anymore. The problem is that he is holding it and he is miserable. Saying his belly and bum hurt and crying all day about it. I give him a lot of fiber and water....I have even called the pediatrician and they were useless on advice.
Anyone have any advice on helping us? I even thought maybe he wasn't he ready and gently asked him if he wanted to go back to diapers for a little while...he freaked out!
Thank you!
Thanks for all of the advice. I know some had mentioned not to go back to diapers etc., but at this point it is much more important to me that he poop instead of holding it in b/c it is causing him pain. He is very sensitive to things and I am not pushing the issue...I never did. The problem is that he does not want to go anywhere....not in a pull up, diaper, underwear or potty. I have tried the Miralax, but don't want to use it daily. For now, I am focusing on getting the poop out...wherever it may be. I will deal with the idea of the potty later. Thanks for the thoughts!
You need to find the right carrot. My 3 yo son wanted a very large fire truck. We bought it, displayed it and eventually he was successful with his bowel training, and the truck was his. No backsliding either. Do not put the child back in diapers. Just keep asking him frequently, does he have to go pooh. Good Luck.
We had the same problem with our daughter and so did my sister's daughter. The problem with our daughters was that the holding it was making them miserable and then when they did finally go it was so large from not going that it hurts them so much. Then they were afraid to go again, and the process started all over.
They had two different doctors and one prescribed Myrlax (over-the-counter) and the other prescribed Constulose (prescription). The constulose worked the best for both children and they had no problem taking it out of a medical syringe. Within a month for one and two months for the other and we had broken the pattern and then neither one of then had any more problems. We just kinda eased them off and encouraged drinking extra water to help the problem. Hope this helps!
C.
M.; yes, always a tough one, i raised three boys and each of them did what your son did, but each of them got the poo down at 4 dont worry about it , work on pee for now, i wish i knew that before too, i would not resort to pull up nor back to diapers, keep him in big boy underware, he will get it, help him to realize we do this in teh toilet like pee, dont discourage, although you are, its a rough time for both parents and child, but they will get it, just hang in there and be consistant, cant go wrong with consistancy, have a wonderful day and enjoy D. s
Hi M.,
I have the same problem with my son who will be 3 in Oct. What is working is that I let him see my poop in the toliet and explain that everyone poops. I know it may sound weird, but it's working. Now he doesn't see it as a bad thing anymore. And of course, I praise and praise him when he goes, which still isn't every time. Like you I don't want to force it. Good Luck!
T.
I know my first daughter went through the exact same thing, was horrified to poop on the potty, something about the poop leaving her body and into that toliet was scary to her, I resorted to giving her an enema, the liquid kind from fleet, put a little up her and stuck her on the toliet and she cried for about 25 mins cause she immediately had to go and if she moved it would just come out, fleet works almost instantley, once she gave up and let it go in the potty and realized nothing bad happened she always went from that point on....I tell her even today about what I had to go through just so she would poop on a toliet :)
my son had the same problem. finally, after 3 days, i was sick of being homebound. so, i put a tablespoon of mineral oil in his sippy cup (it will separate from other liquids, so it needs to be hidden or he'll be suspicious) and 45 minutes later he was rushing to use the potty for the very first time...
I think you are doing the right thing by stopping the focus on pooping on the potty. Keep doing high fiber and water.
It sounds like he CAN go on the potty, but he is scared of it hurting? You could add 4 oz of prune juice to his juice every day and see if that softens things up, maybe if he has one successful poop that doesn't hurt, he will be more inclined to go.
Good luck!
My daughter who turns 3 in November is the exact same way. I have had her on Miralax for about 5 months so she is consistently soft but still will not go on the potty. To compound the problem, she has kidney reflux and holding her poop in makes it worse so it's really hard for me to not put pressure on her to go when I know she could be damaging her kidneys permanently. Her pediatrician has told me that it is most likely a control issue. Toddlers can only control eating and pooping so that is why those two things are such common struggles. She has told me to let her have complete control of her BM's. When I see that she has to poop I give her choices. If she wants a pull-up she gets one (she always does). If she wants to hold her blankie, if she wants me to hold her, whatever it is she gets to decide. By giving her more control of the situation it should get better and she should stop fighting it. We've only been doing this for a week so no progress yet. But I have had to just let it go and stop talking about it, stop trying to bribe her, just not make an issue out of it at all. I hope it helps and you may want to try that with your son.
Hi M.,
You mentioned you asked your pediatrician about it and they had no advice. Does your son have any other underlying issues? Sensory issues, delays of anykind, anything? This may be a part of it. You are quite right, you can't let this go on. My son once held his poop for a week and ended up in the hospital throwing up bile because he was so backed up. If you don't want to do the fiber suppliments then I would suggest getting lots of fluids going and have enimas on hand. Make it to where he can't hold it anymore. If he continues to hold then you might want to look into the possibility that he may have encopresis. If your pediatricianhasn't considered it or doesn't know what that is then you need a new ped. I can give you the name of my doc if you'd like.
I hope this helps a bit.
S.
Hi M.. My son did this too, he was trained for #1 and didn't finally feel comfortable with #2 until 4 mos later. In the beginning we tried everything to get him to do #2 on the potty, a toy everytime he did, a special trip, treats, etc. but nothing worked. I think his fear was more powerful than any incentive I could give him. And the harder I pushed him, the more he held it in and had constipation. I just kept him in underwear, pull-ups if I had to leave the house. I finally just let go and let him just go in his underwear, then once the constipation was gone, I incentified him to just "try" for #2 on the potty, and I didn't force it, if he didn't want to "try" then I left him alone. Anyway, he eventually was OK with "trying" and then eventually had some success on the potty. Your son will get there, it is a very common thing, the most important thing is to stop the cycle of constipation, then focus on going #2 in potty. Good luck.
