Potty Training - Puyallup,WA

Updated on February 17, 2009
G.W. asks from Puyallup, WA
11 answers

My daughter is 21 month old,very smart,big vocabulary and very active.I have noticed she talks about potty since she sees me lettin our dog going outside to go potty as well as our cat. She knows what pee is vs. poo. But when I ask her if she is wet or poopy she can't always answer. I am wondering if I should give her more time and not start potty training I don't frustartion for either of us I want the process to be easy and comfortable for everyone,and I would assume communication and understanding on her part would make it easier. I just wonder because her cousin who is one month older is starting if she is behind in someway?

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M.B.

answers from Seattle on

G.,

I would wait. The majority of girls don't start potty training until 2, and boys at around 2 1/2. There are kids that train earlier, and later. My son is almost 5 1/2 and has only been potty trained for a year now.

When she starts getting interested in the toilet and flushing and all that then you may want to start training her. There is a great book, "My Big Girl Potty" that covers all the stages of potty training, and has some great tips in the back for successful training.

Good luck,
Melissa

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A.P.

answers from Eugene on

I would say there is no harm in trying. My son started showing a lot of interest at 18 months so we started putting him on there and he is essentially potty trained. I have to give my mom a lot of credit though, she came to visit the weekend we decided to start and helped us figure out what we were doing. My son really doesn't have that big of vocabulary but after a week of just putting him on the potty at regular intervals he's started to say "pee-pee" (for both functions) and grabbed the front of his pants and we all run to the toilet. Clearly everyone has to go at their own pace and I do realize that I may have won some potty training jackpot with my son, but I also have talked to a lot of people that say they wished they would have started when their son/daughter was younger and a little more cooperative. My advice would be to start putting her on once a day (maybe before bath time) and just see how she reacts. Give her a lot of praise for just sitting there--when my son actually went in the toilet the first time we all made a huge deal out of it because we were so excited, it was like he won the noble peace prize! If she doesn't seem to resist let her pick out a potty seat and start asking her if she wants to sit on it regularly and see what happens. Also, enlist the pets if they are willing. We have a lab and if my son didn't want to sit on the potty when our little timer when off I would say okay, but Mac (the dog) wants to sit on the potty and if I walked toward the bathroom Mac would of course follow me and that would be enough to get my son pushing him out of the way to sit on the toilet. The dog has also modeled underwear, and is always willing to look into the toilet to see what success has been made. I really think he deserves a lot of credit for potty-training! :)

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C.R.

answers from Portland on

I've been practicing potty whispering with my son since he was 6 weeks old. He was never comfortable with the peeing on himself thing. He would writhe and kick and arch his back and I'd take off his diaper and he'd pee in the sink or in the toilet; when he did I made a sound...psst psst psst psst. At about 4 months he started to refuse to use his diaper at night and would make a big fuss about going in his diaper, so I'd take him at night too. We co-sleep which makes it easier to read his cues. I'm hoping that he will be pretty much be down to 1 diaper a day by 18 months.

The whole point of this story is that the techniques I used are very effective. Some people call it diaper free, others potty whispering, or the ever not lovely phrase, elimination communication. It's what moms in other countries like India and China use, because they don't have the luxury of diapers. The concept of too early to train is a very old Freudian concept that somehow early toilet training will damage the child's sense of well being, but I have to say that my child would have been damaged had I just tried to make him learn to pee on himself.

Also, the book that I read said that the techniques can be used at all stages of training.

Good Luck and here are some links.

http://www.timl.com/ipt/
http://www.pottywhisperer.com/howitworks.html

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M.L.

answers from Seattle on

She's not behind at all, and if she's not communicating what she needs to do or requesting to use the potty, she's probably not ready yet. Do you have a potty for her? If not, get one and let her start exploring it and getting familiar with it. We bought a potty in September and my daughter used it for the first time last week. Don't stress about it and just follow your daughter's lead!

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

All kids are different. My oldest trained at 18 months, my youngest at 2 1/2. I just waited until they were ready. Once they showed interest I put them in pull ups and started encouraging the potty. Once they started using it I would put them in big boy undies. They first day or two is always hard (lots of pee on the floor), but if you don't give in a put them back in the pull ups or diapers then they will train quickly, and be done in a matter of day.

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M.T.

answers from Portland on

First of all in no way is she behind at all. Don't even let that thought enter your head. Based on what you are writing, I would say you should give her more time and help her get ready by getting her a little potty of her own, letting her sit on the potty, reading books about it (Everyone poops, etc), keep showing her when you need to go, asking if she would like to try to use the potty, keeping positive even if she says "no" or doesn't do anything when she does sit on it, giving her incentives for trying, celebrate success (but not so much that is creates too much pressure), and eventually going out with her to buy her choice of undies.

As you know of course, the age of potty training varies; some children can be 4 before trained. Also, the degree of potty training varies as well - you will hear parents saying their 2 year old is potty trained, but really the one who is trained is the parent because the parent is making sure the kid gets it done on the potty rather than letting the child really own/control their own potty experience. I never really understood the rush rather than letting the child transition to the potty in his/her own time as s/he discovers his/her body, control and pursues independence.

Before considering starting potty training, I would recommend to be honest with yourself that you TRULY see signs of readiness.You will know (and the fact that you are posing this question means you are not sure she is ready - trust your instinct; you're right that she doesn't sound ready). The more of the below signs of readiness she displacy the more likely your child will make a smooth transition to using the potty.
1. Regular and predictable bowel movements
2. Indicates through words, grimaces, posture that she is urinating or making a bowel movement
3. complains or appears uncomfortable when diaper is wet/soiled
4. begins to pull pants down
5. asks to use toilet or a child-potty
6. asks to wear underpants
7. wants to please/can follow instructions
8. stays dry much of the day
9. shows an interest in handwashing and keeping clean

Hope this helps. I found that the less pressure the better the process. :)

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J.E.

answers from Portland on

Do it while she is interested. Do not use pull ups they just aggravate the whole process and confuse the child. The trick with potty training is getting them to feel what is happening to them. When in pull ups and regular diapers it is pulled away from their bodies and thus it leaves them alot more comfortable while loaded with you know what. They can sit in it for quite awhile before they get fussy at all. I recommend using thick fabric training underwear. They are thick enough to prevent any leaking but leave the child feeling the uncomfort from the pee or poo and they will no like it. This gets them interested in really using the toilet so that they are not uncomfortable. I went through the pull up with my first little girl for whole year and the moment I took the advice from another mother she was completely trained in two weeks and hasn't had any problem since.

Good Luck!

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A.Z.

answers from Portland on

Hi G.,

She may be ready for potty training. Most children make the mind/body connection around 2 years old (give or take a few months), so she is right on par.

An easy way to tell is to get her her own little potty. Start discussing it more and let her experiment. If she decides she wants to use th potty, then go for it!

Number one, get her some cloth training pants or underwear. Cloth make a huge difference in how quickly children succeed at potty training. You will be doing a lot of laundry during the early potty training days of clothes and towels, you might as well wash the underwear too! This will save you a fortune and reduce stress by making the process faster.

Some children will learn to poop in the potty quickly and easily and some children make this an issue. There's nothing wrong either way. I would get some training pants with snaps on the side to deal with poopy accidents and reduce messes. You will be able to unsnap the side and remove the underwear without dragging the mess down their legs.

The fact that her cousin is starting potty training can work to your advantage if they play together a lot. They can have fun going to the potty together and they can praise and cheer for each other. They will want to do this over and over and will not want to have accidents if the other is going in the potty.

I can go over it all in detail with you if you ever want to talk.

A.
www.punkinbutt.com
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C.A.

answers from Portland on

Oh she's not behind at all. Don't worry about so and so's baby being potty trained - it will make you nuts. My daughter is 2 1/2 and we've just started a month ago (mainly I was not happy at the prospect of changing diapers of 4 kiddos). Anyhow she can't tell me if she's poopy or not so I don't know that that is when you wait to do it. But my daughter does understand concepts like "poo poo and pee pee go in the potty." I started saying this to them around your girl's age so that they could repeat it back to me when I asked them. You can start prepping if you want to. Get her a little throne of her own and take her in when you go if you are comfortable (my daughter got the idea by doing this and we sent our son in with my husband).

Some people do train their kids this early, and if you feel she is ready then go ahead and start. But that needs to be a decision between you and her. My friend trained their vocab active girl at 18 months with potty training in a day. Works for some and doesn't for others. Every kid is different. Mine are fully trained during the day but don't stay dry at night. But at the very least you can start prepping at this age.

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W.C.

answers from Seattle on

Do you use those words when you change her diapers? I would suggest you start that. And then back off for a while and let her decide when she wants to start training. Otherwise you will be training yourself.

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T.B.

answers from Seattle on

I don't think you have to think of potty training as an all or nothing persuit. You can ask your daughter if she'd like to practice sitting on the potty. You can start talking about the potty. You can read her books about the subject. There are lots of dvds for kids at the library on using the potty too. I liked the book Mommy I have to go Potty. There are several developmental markers to look for (I don't have them memorized) that are listed in that book. I found the list to be most useful. For me potty training worked more like an unfolding process rather than a one time event. I hope all goes well.
Take care,
T.

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