Potty Training - Daly City, CA

Updated on January 27, 2008
A.S. asks from Daly City, CA
17 answers

My 3-year old is just about finished potty training at home and at school (minus the BMs). I am interested and DO take him out and about with his underwear on to train him while we are running around, but whenever my husband is with us, he is so afraid of accidents or having to rush to find a bathroom, that he is very much against letting him wear his underwear. How am I to finalize this last stage of potty training if my husband is not willing to take any risks? Any ideas? Thanks!

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R.V.

answers from San Francisco on

Okay, some people may not go for this, but I live in the mountains and when we're driving (always a far distance) anywhere, it's pretty much impossible to pull over and find a bathroom. So... I started bringing my kids' potty in the car with us. I have a minivan, so it's even easier to just pull over and take my toddler out of her car seat and let her sit on the potty. Have baby wipes and antibacterial solution for hand "washing" handy. My child's potty is one with a lid, so I just deal with it when we get back home. This has really helped with potty training because whenever we do put her in diapers, she seems to regress and use her diaper instead of letting us know that she needs to go potty. Good luck!

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J.W.

answers from San Francisco on

If your husband is reeeeally worried about not being able to find a potty, there's something called a "travel potty" that you can take with you everywhere (mainly for road trips). You can find it here:

http://www.rightstart.com/global/store/product~item~1261~...

There comes a point when your child will NOT want to wear the pull-up no matter how much you want them to...

Good luck!

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I.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Follow the golden rules of toileting:
Go before getting in the car
Go when you get there
Go before getting in the car to go home
Go when you arrive home

You'd be surprised how many times boys can pee... especially when you're getting started.
Your backup underpants can be the boxer-brief Hanes which, in solid colors, look like shorts so you only have to carry one thing and it's smaller than an extra diaper.

Have a couples with kids outing and pre-arrange for your girlfriend to have her husband take the boys to the BigBoys toilet. All it took was one toileting in a urinal and now my son refuses to go with me when Dad is with us in public :) Now my son wants to use the urinal whenever we're out and my husband is reassured that there will be less chance of an accident when there's a urinal to be tried.

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T.W.

answers from San Francisco on

Get one of the little plastic potties for your car and some of those little plastic bags for throwing away dirty diapers, lift out the center piece of the potty and fit in the bag, keep it in the car and when he needs to go let him use it, when he is done through a couple napkins in if you have them and tie up the bag, toss it in the next garbage can you come to, put a new bag in and you are ready for the next time. I did this with both of my boys and it worked wonders. Good Luck!

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C.J.

answers from San Francisco on

You are doing a great job. There is no way around it, you just have to take him out, like you are doing. Make sure he goes potty before you leave and wherever you are going know where the restrooms are. If you have already been out with your son and you are confident he can do it than trust your motherly instincts. If you're confident in your son, he will be confident in himself. He wants to be a big boy.

It sounds like your husband is not willing to take the risk because of the hassle if there is an accident. He is forgetting that you have that in mind to, it's just you are more willing to just deal with it. Tell your husband that you know he will be fine and he can't hold your son back if he is willing to take the next step. Just like when you decide to not wear diapers to bed at night. You hope they will get up, but sometimes there is an accident.

I have a 4 year old son and an 8 mo old and at no matter what age there is always those times that you have to find a restroom right now and just cross your fingers that they can hold it. Just be sure you have a change of clothes with you and with your new baby, you'll be able to just through something in their baby bag. And as a mom, you know when they are ready.

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D.H.

answers from Fresno on

Potty training is a very hard thing to do with boys. I have a almost 7 and almost 4 year old. Potty training is really an "all or nothing" thing. When you decide to potty train and your son seems ready, underware everyday is the only way. I tried pull-ups and they don't work. If your child is wearing a pull up, they know that they can pee in it and it is like a diaper. If they are playing and don't want to stop, they will pee in their diaper/pull up. I keep a change of clothes in the bathroom with plastic grocery bags. When my son would have an accident, I would have him change himself in the bathroom and bring me the wet clothes in a plastic grocery bag. I would even go as far as to have him help me do the laundry. When your child realizes the steps they have to go through when they pee in their pants, they will realize that it is much easier to use the potty. I don't get mad at him when he does have an accident (even though it is frustrating) but I praise him when he goes by himself. We even had a sticker chart in the bathroom that we made and he would put a sticker on it each time he made it to the potty. You would be surprised at how smart your child is, he will know when he has underware on. Good Luck.

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P.R.

answers from Stockton on

When my daughter was little she had to pee everywhere we went. I am a bit of a germaphobe so I started taking one of the little training potties and tp around with us everywhere.

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S.C.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi A.,
Stick to your guns - you're the one in the trenches. So, your husband may be inconvenienced to fine a toilet or embarrassed if there's an accident. That is short term compared to the kid thinking he can wet his pants when out & potty training is only for home. Makes no sense. You know how far or long he goes between needing a toilet & can plan accordingly - timing wise or knowing where the toilets are. Every mother of a toddler knows every toilet in every store! Obviously, it would be good to always have spare underwear & pants in your bag.
Besides, you'd like him trained before the new one arrives.
Follow your instincts.
S. C

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C.L.

answers from San Francisco on

I say he's got to just bite the bullet and do it! As the mother of a 2, almost 3, year old girl that we just potty trained a month ago. The longer you keep letting them wear a diaper on outing, or to bed, ect the harder it will be to break them, they'll start to learn to rely on it. I think if you practice a bit on some outings. Before you leave the house make sure you have him go to the bathroom if he needs to, and try to venture out somewhere for a short amount of time, that you know has a restroom close at hand - like a dept store, a restraunt. Bring a change of clothes/underwear just in case of an accident - don't worry - it's just pee. He will learn the signal of when he has to go, and will be able to tell you in time - I promise!

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M.J.

answers from Sacramento on

Dear A.:

I am a four-time grandmother and my youngest grandson is 28 months. I am a firm believer in those "big boy" pants pull ups. I use them pretty much the full time I have my grandson. I think this is a good first step to teaching our young ones the path to potty training. If there is an "accident" it is not so bad!

Liz (Nana)

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A.D.

answers from Visalia on

I completely understand!!! It is hard when your partner and you are not on the same page. My husband was real nervous as well and it made my son uneasy, no fun for anyone. I would talk to your husband in private and try to encourage him to see how his behavior is effecting your son and his ability to be successful. It took a few conversations with my husband to get him to come around and when we were out, we ignored him and we washed a lot of underrwear. I think that potty training is one of the hard parenting challeneges I have faced, so far. It sounds like you are doing a great job. Hopefully you can help your husband see that it is about your son and not him. Good luck with those boys...i have two myself 3 and 2, life is always an adventure

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A.G.

answers from San Francisco on

You are right in demanding that he should be without diapers when you are out running. That is the only way he will learn, only have the diaper on when he is napping or sleeping at night, that is what I have learnt. There will be some accidents for sure, but that is how it is, otherwise they will not learn. Bring extra pants and extra patience! Hang in there!
A.

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M.T.

answers from San Francisco on

I have two kids -- one whose 5 and has been potty trained since 2, and one whose 17 months and only just beginging to be curious about the potty, but before I go out with them (with or without my husband) I always try to think about where the bathrooms will be - and these days there are public bathrooms in many stores, resturanuts, parks, etc. of course they're not always the cleanest of places, but when you have to go, you have to go. Maybe, before you guys leave the house you and your husband can talk about all the bathrooms you will be near/will pass while you are out in case your son all of a sudden needs to go. Also, a rule in our family is that before we leave the house (or anywhere for that matter), my daughter has to sit on the toilet. Even if she doesn't think she needs to go she has to just sit for a minute. And usually she does have to go, and sometimes she doesn't, but either way, we leave the house with an empty bladder. Also, I just have to say...this is about your son learning to use the bathroom, this should not be about your husband's comfort or fear of accidents. Your son may have an accident, and that's ok, that's part of the learning process. Your husband needs to put his fears aside and let your son grow and learn! Good luck...

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Y.W.

answers from San Francisco on

Hello, I am a mom of 3yo b/g twins and my husband had the same issue. You'll have to just brace yourself for accidents. If not, it will take a lot longer for you son to learn bladder to control his in public thus prolonging his reliance on diapers. Maybe you should try to take him out w/o your husband to see how he does, you never know he may surprise you:-) Hope this helps.

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C.Y.

answers from San Francisco on

Dear A.,

My son is 3.5, and we just embarked on the potty training train this past September. I can report that now 4 months later, I still carry extra clothes and my son still has 1-2 accidents a week, but he's doing well and he's learned a lot about his body and when to tell that the pee or poop is coming. I was surprised just how long this awareness took to develop, and I admit in the early days I was a)anxious about public accidents like your husband (he did pee on the bus once, which was embarrassing and difficult to deal with) and b) less patient with him than I wish I'd been. I thought he was misbehaving initially when he had accidents (ie. willfully refusing to use the potty), because I didn't understand how he could be so good at it sometimes and so bad at other times. A friend with older kids helped me to view it as a skill to be developed, and we whenever he had an accident, we would say "that's okay, you're still learning." He quickly picked up on this phrase, and it built his confidence and helped him relax.

I absolutely agree that once you go down the potty training road you've got to do it all the way (although we do have G wear pull-ups at night). Wearing a diaper out of the house I think would be confusing. And with a little practice, you can get good at dealing with the accidents. Also, there is a fabulous folding portable potty that we got and took everywhere with us - it has disposable plastic bags that fit into a small seat. And we have a kit with spare underwear, pants, socks and wipes that we take with us wherever we go too. We've also learned to interpret what is just wiggling and what is a "the pee is coming" dance. All in all, I can count on one hand the number of difficult situations we've been in with public peeing/pooping - it's really not that bad. So, tell your husband to be brave and be patient. Soon your son will be using the toilet all the time and your worries will be behind you!

Good luck.

C.

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L.L.

answers from San Francisco on

A., Dad has got to let you continue to finish his training as soon as possible. You will drive yourself crazy with two still in diapers at the same time. Come on give yourself a break, you will need this time to spend with the new baby once arrived. Husband must understand, and if he has an accident between it all...oh well, he's learning that's to be expected. Save yourself continue to train.

L. L.

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O.G.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi A.,

First of all, congrats on your 2nd baby. hats off to you... you are very brave trying to potty train your 3 year old while pregnant.... that is awesome. you must have tons of energy.

in an rate, as far as the potty training. you just have to make up your mind that you are serious. i started potty training my first daughter at 22 months and months later, she was truly trained. the hardest thing I did was, I had her realize that if she "poops" in her "underpants," then she will have to sit on that "yucky stuff." she had moments where she didnt want to go potty and instead she just "poops/ pees" on her underwear. she didnt like the idea that stuff was touching her skin. she learned quick. the rest is history. good luck!!

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