Potty Training - Rochester,NY

Updated on November 10, 2007
S.P. asks from Rochester, NY
13 answers

My son turned 3 in July and doesn't seem to want to be potty trained. All of his classmates in daycare are trained and he just doesn't seem to care! He understands the concept, likes that we bought big boy underwear but doesn't care either way if he gets to wear them or not...he says "I like my diapers" in a "matter of fact" kind of way. I am trying not to make a huge deal out of this but I just don't get it. Any suggestions would be welcomed! Thank you!!

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So What Happened?

These are great ideas. I had a feeling that is what everyone would say but to be honest, I'm older this time around and probably have bene putting it off because just plain tired! LOL!!! I'm on vacation Thanksgiving week so guess that will be the best time to do this! Thank you all and I'll keep you posted!

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L.R.

answers from New York on

Don't feel bad. My son was 3 in August and I'm going through the samw thing with him. He tells me he loves diapers. All of his friends are potty trained except for him. I spoke with my peditrician about it he said whatever I do not to force him and he'll do it when he's ready. He said I promise you're child won't go to kindergarten in diapers. If you get any adive that works please let me know.

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L.H.

answers from New York on

My nephew was told that he could pick anything out at Toys R Us when he used the potty. After training successfully, he went right to the diaper aisle and picked out diapers! My sister had to go back on her word on this one promise! LOL! Boys just love to sit in their wetness/mess. They have all of the developmental tools to use the toilet at three, but chose not to. Stop buying the diapers.You need to take a week and don't plan anything. Stay at home with him. It's hard in this day and age, but you need to just do it. Have him wear a big T shirt with nothing underneath. One or two accidents with your patience and persistance and he should be trained. Remember, No one has ever gone to college in diapers.

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S.G.

answers from New York on

I don't have much asvice because I could have written the same question. My son was born in July and is not trained yet. He will go on the potty if we put him on but is quite happy to use diapers or pull-ups. He never tells me when he has to go. He is strong willed so I don't plan on pushing the issue unless I have to. My long term plan is that during a time when we will be around the house a lot (possibly winter break), I will take him to the potty every half hour or so. I hope that if he doesn't have an opportunity to wet his pull-up, he may get in the habit of using the potty instead. I have heard of people just putting them in underwear (or run around naked) and then get their carpet cleaned! I don't think this would work for my son because he has never cared about having a wet or dirty diaper in his life unless he has a rash. I look forward to seeing what other people have to say. My son goes to nursery school and can't be in the 4's next September unless he is trained!

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L.M.

answers from New York on

Hi S. - I have 2 boys that both seemed to get off diapers at about 3 1/2. About the same time they stopped the bottle too. I just kept asking my boys if they needed the toilet or if we needed to take any diapers with us to an outing and eventually it just happened. Days that I had more patience I would give them a choice. Apparently choices are going to be a good form of communication for ongoing things too. I can't say that I wasn't sometimes discouraged, but I do love them so much.
Try this out and it might work for you too.
Good luck
L.

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C.S.

answers from New York on

There is a great book that my pediatrician recommended called " Potty Training in Less Than A Day". I was skeptical, but thought, "Well, if it doesn't work, all I've lost is a day and then I go back to more traditional methods". I'm here to say it WORKED. Granted, I have girls, but they were both about two when I used the book. My older daughter showed NO interest in potty training when we started, but I was expecting baby #2, and in my mind mind, potty training was going to be next to impossible once I had two children occupying every waking moment, so I just jumped into to. She was potty trained in about two hours!! My second daughter took less than four hours! Not to say they never had an accident after that, but the accidents were far and few between. They weren't dry through the night until they were over three, but that was not ever an issue for us. When their pullups were consistently dry in the morning, I just switched them to panties.

I can't recommend the book highly enough! It's very time intensive for that one day, but it works!

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M.T.

answers from New York on

Hi S.,

Due to the widespread use of disposable diapers and pullups, a lot of 3 year olds are not really motivated to use the toilet. Even those products with "feel wet" liners really don't feel wet, so why bother interrupting more interesting things to use the bathroom when they can take a pee right where they are and in a minute, feel mostly dry and comfy.

A switch to cloth diapers or cloth training pants can often make a difference. First, it teaches them about their body - that when they pee, the result is that they get very wet, and then they can start to recognize their body signalling them just before this happens. Your son sounds like a smart little guy - he knows that he has a good deal going on, so I'm guessing it won't take him long to realize that it doesn't feel good sitting in sopping wet cloth and that he'd prefer to use the toilet.

Good luck!

C.B.

answers from New York on

I am a believer of the hardcore tactics my parents used. Just stop with diapers. I am sure he won't like to sit in a corner with wet pants if he chooses to not use the bathroom. The problem of course is the effort on the part of parents and care givers to clean up the messes. I promise the problem won't last that long.

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I.P.

answers from New York on

Children are funny, aren't they? My son did the same thing. Each child is different and woll potty train differently. What worked for others obviously isn't working for you since your son is bright enough to realize that there's a comfort level with his diaper and he just doesn't feel like making a change. lol I'll tell you what worked for me though. First I downloaded and printed out a potty chart. Every time he used the potty he got to put a star on his potty chart. When he filled up his potty chart. When he filled up his potty chart he got a treat. Usually something small like a matchbox car. We sped things up a bit by taking away the siaper as an option except at bed time. He wore his big boy pants all day long. Now it's not as easy as it sounds. We had accidents... losts of them. But I can proudly say that he's completely potty trained, wears big boys pants all day long, wears them to bed and has not had accidents in ages (knock on wood!).

Mostly it will take lots of patience. lol Good Luck.

H.V.

answers from Jamestown on

I would recommend to not buy those diapers anymore and to just put him in his big boy undies. And the daycare should be helping him with this too. Take extra clothes with him to daycare for just in case his misses the potty and needs clean clothes. This is all part of him learning to be a big boy. Some kids just need the extra encouragement to get out of the diapers. a link that may help give you mroe info is:
http://www.BornPottyTrained.com/ I'm willing to bet that if he wets his big boy undies he will start to care deeply about staying dry. best! =D

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C.B.

answers from Rochester on

No advice -- just thought this was so cute: "I like my diapers" in a "matter of fact" kind of way.

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M.Z.

answers from New York on

I wouldn't force him. If he's clear about wanting to continue to use his diapers, let him! It's better when we are permitted to develop in our own time rather than on someone else's clock. I believe that kids' development is that way; you can't force them to cut their teeth any sooner than they're ready! He has his reasons, and even though he may not be able to articulate them for you, they're still his reasons.

One of my favorite Anais Nin quotes is:

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”

Blossoming, however, is best done it the plant's own time and for it's own reasons.

I hope that helps a little!! All the best to you and your son!

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D.A.

answers from New York on

I don't really have any advice for u but in SOLIDARITY I wanted u to know that I'm going through the exact same thing w/ my daughter....she could care LESS about using the potty - she likes to SIT on it and then GET a sticker afterwards! (WE've been doing everything to ENTICE her over the last YEAR)

...But she just LOVES to pee + poop in her diaper - and she mostly says "NO" defiantly when I keep asking her if she wants to TRY the potty...so I'm trying NOT to push her too hard - I know it makes them revert....but it is frustrating - especially when u see the rest of her class at daycare totally going to the potty correctly all of the time....

I'd say - just try to be patient and let him "get it" in his own time....everyone tells me that a switch just goes off in their head and suddenly 1 day they'll just start doing it + never go back to the diapers....

Fingers crossed - I'm just waiting for that day! ; )

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R.L.

answers from New York on

WOW! thats hard for me to answer because i am going through the same thing. I ask him "when you have to make pee pee, what are you supposed to say" and he says, i have to go to the bathroom", thats right I say, and where do we make pee pee?" he says in the potty or toilet. Yeah! i say.Then what does he do? he goes in his pants. I don't know when he'll be ready. Hes 2&1/2 yrs old. I can't get him into the daycare that I like for him because he needs to be pott trained. its frustrating.
I do have hope in knowing that one of these days he will want to do it on his own.

R.

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