Potty Training - Fayetteville,NC

Updated on December 05, 2013
R.S. asks from Fayetteville, NC
10 answers

My LO is 15 months. He has been taking his diapers and pull-ups off after he pees in them and brings them to me. He even decided one day to poop in my floor after breakfast. I have been trying to potty train him when he turned 1 year old because he was showing me the signs. Everyone I know is making rude comments about me starting that early. Can anyone give me any tips to help get him to potty? We have done potty songs and he will dance to them on the potty but what else can I do.

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A.A.

answers from Tulsa on

You can wait until he's older, I truly doubt he's actually ready to be potty trained. Just because he takes his diaper off because it's wet and uncomfortable doesn't mean he is physically able to know and comprehend BEFORE he pees. Give it some time, he'll get it when he's older.

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C..

answers from Columbia on

If you want to eliminate diapers you need to establish a CONSISTENT (as in... never waivering) consistent schedule when you take him to the potty as well as consistent behavior FROM YOU for requesting (not asking) that it's time to potty (based on either a time schedule or signs that you have established you see in your child when they need to "go") and then praising him when he doesn't have an accident, or if he does have an accident, praising him when he helps clean up. I would not do rewards / punishment / fun.... this is simply a physical and cognitive milestone for a kid.... did you reward him for walking or sitting with anything other than a "good job" or a "oops, we'll try again next time"?

At this age what you are training is really more "elimination communication" which is when the caregiver is aware of the signs of having to go to the bathroom and is responsible for taking the child to the potty. You're getting their body used to going on a schedule.
This is how kids around the world are potty trained early and really, what our parents did with us "back in the day".

If you do it this way and this early.... you have to be really aware that this is a BIG area in which toddlers can use in "other stages of their development", so this can potentially become a battle since it's something *they* have absolute and complete control over and tends to be a "show-stopper" for the parent (ie - I don't want to sit at the table anymore after I've eaten, you want me to sit there , I scream, you don't give in.... I pee on the floor so now we have to go to my room and change.... ergo, I don't have to sit at the table anymore.)

If they know potty training is important and a milestone for YOU it becomes something they are less interested in doing once they get to be 2ish and want to exert their independence. The reason there is a mindset to train *later* is because that's when the CHILD can reach developmental milestones (like cognitively understanding in addition to physically feeling the need to "go"). It's like walking. Your kid can *walk* when they are holding onto your hands and you are walking with them, holding them up. But they aren't really considered to be WALKING until they are in control of both their physical development (legs strong enough / able to get up / able to go in the right direction / balance) AND their MENTAL development (know where they are going / can deal with failure or get up when they fall etc). So, you wouldn't say your child is "potty trained" until they can recognize the urge to go / stop their current activity / get themselves to the potty (or ask if they are not at home etc / pull down their own pants / get on the potty / go potty / wipe (except for poop) / flush the potty / put clothes back on / flush the potty / wash hands.... and do that consistently without accidents for a good period of time.

You can do all the songs you want.... but that's not going to help him. For now, if you want to eliminate diapers, you need to establish a consistent routine (eating / drinking / going to the potty), get to know his "signs", and remember that the way you choose to parent is up to you and people will disagree with a million more of your decisions, so don't worry about what others think.

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D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

We just got rid of diapers (pull ups are no different to a kid), and took DS to the bathroom (we got a Bjorn seat that fit on the toilet - potties are just gross IMO) whenever he woke up, after each meal and if he hadn't been in a few hours. We also took him into the bathroom with us so he knew what it was for (think carefully about that one, it was years before I got to pee alone) and read Tari Gomi's 'Everyone Poops' book a lot (while DS was on the toilet). We did not do rewards, punishment or anything else. We did act pleased when he was pleased that he went in the toilet. He had ZERO signs of 'potty readiness' (new concept invented by the disposable diaper industry) and trained in under 2 weeks. My sister and I were trained at 13 months. My brother was trained at 15 months.

Over half the kids on the planet are trained by 12 months of age. Most American kids were potty trained (full trained, not just started) by 18 months prior to the advent of disposable diapers - physiology hasn't changed since then. Don't let the negativity get to you. Just think about how all those people will be changing diapers for years longer than you and smile.

Now, it would be an unreasonable expectation to think a 15 month old will stop playing and take himself to the bathroom, undress, climb up, pee/poop, flush and then dress himself again. Reasonable to expect him to keep his underwear dry 98% of the time, pee and poop when you take him to the bathroom and to require help dressing/undressing and wiping.

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M.O.

answers from New York on

It's great that he's showing these signs of readiness, but honestly, you can't "make" a 15-month-old go to the potty, or do much of anything. In the warmer months, you can try having him go pants-free, with a potty in plain sight, and see if he gets anywhere. But, if an EIGHTEEN-month-old gets anywhere near potty training, that's huge, amazing news, and on the rare occasion when it happens, it happens with girls. I don't mean to discourage you, but maybe set your expectations just a teeny bit lower, so you can look forward to being pleasantly surprised?

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P.M.

answers from Portland on

There are a number of different training approaches/ages, any of which may be more appropriate for different mothers and different children. And both physical and emotional readiness is essential for the most common approach used today in this culture. Read about just about any potty training question in helpful detail at http://www.parentingscience.com/potty-training-tips.html. It's a really helpful resource!

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B.P.

answers from Cleveland on

Is he telling you that he needs to pee before he does or just takes it off because it's uncomfortable? normally a tell is they go hide to poo and pee. They need to know their bodies to be able to potty train. I think if your not getting anywhere in the 6 months you've been trying then atop and try again when he turns 2. I waited until my daughter was almost 3. She trained herself in a weekend she was ready to train. All your going to do is cause stress for you and him which isn't good at all. All he is telling you is that he is wet not that he needs to go which is what you need to look for

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E.B.

answers from Beaumont on

Typically, boys train later. I have 2 boys, my first waited FOREVER!! The second trained at 2 because he saw his older brother doing it and wanted to be big. An older boy who is potty trained will be your best ally. But it all boils down to, they potty train when they potty train. They are all so different...

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Kids do much better in the spring when starting potty training. When it's warm enough to go commando and run around outside to play with just a long shirt on. They don't have anything touching them so they're more aware of their body. Also if they're outside playing you don't get poop on the flooring and carpet and furniture.

He's just not old enough. He's playing at it right now. Kids have to be able to know when they need to go and they need to be able to HOLD it. That's one of the most important things. He has to be able to hold it so he can wait to get to the bathroom.

He's not cognitively old enough to understand all this. He's not showing signs, he's getting attention for doing something and he's playing along.

When he's older he'll be ready.

I'm sorry to say these things to you but I have over 13 years in child care and lots of kids do this. They play with mom and get attention.

By all means take him to the potty chair, sit him on the big toilet backwards so he can get the idea how to pee standing up, give him a jelly bean for pee and 2 jelly beans for poop. Or M&M's, same number. He'll be running to the potty every time he wants candy and as a side effect he goes to the potty and gets used to it. Pretty soon he goes and doesn't get any candy, he gets a high five or a hug, it all works out.

I just hate to see you go through all this and think he's going to be potty trained and out of diapers in a few months. There is the possibility of course but I'd say he'll regress in the next couple of months.

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F.B.

answers from New York on

Don't see any harm in trying. Our DS is now three, and not yet fully potty trained. Thinking back on it, he showed interest at 15 months, 18 months, 22 months, but for a number of reasons, we and namely his care givers weren't ready to do the follow through necessary.

A week in nothing but underpants, or no pants, coupled with regular scheduled bathroom/ potty visits, and a close eye by you will get him going on the potty. You will likely have to be in charge of his pottying for a while until he can/ wants to take control of the situation.

Best,
F. B.

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J.G.

answers from Chicago on

Just give him potty opportunities. he should pick it up in a few months.

At 15 months, i started potty learning with my older kids. We would just have naked time in the morning. I would also take them after nap. It takes 12-15 hits (success) for them to understand how to control the muscles. Once they are doing this, I then put them on a schedule. By 18 months, they started takingthemselves..and by 21 months they night and poop trained. With that said, both had accidents up until 4, and my oldest even had an accident recently and she's 5.5! Accidents happen. In fact, the other day I almost didn't get to the toilet in time! The most important thing is to just accept them as part of life, and move forward. Don't get mad or show any negative emotion.

I have a just 9 month old baby that I may start doing EC with when I have the energy. She wakes dry from her naps, and she lets me know when her diaper is dirty, and I'd like to not train her to sit in a dirty diaper. It's never too early to teach about wet/dry, etc. The most important thing is to not put too much energy into it, or you will create an area of power struggles.

Once he takes himself 90% of the time, put him in training pants. Do not use pull-ups! Gerber makes great training pants, use those so they feel the mess. Expect accidents...2 is a very distracting age, so it's important that (1) you have a schedule in place, and (2) you don't push it or make a big deal when they have an accident. Also, they have regressions before leaps forward in ability, so if all of a sudden he has non-stop accidents, just say "oops, we didn't make it in time, next time we will." Be unemotional about it, and indifferent, and just hang in there. Regressions last 2-7 days, and then usually they show advancements of some sort.

Good for you for noticing the signs! Many people think them taking off their diaper is a game. It isn't, it's them saying," hey! I don't want to have this thing on me! it's dirty!"

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