Potty Training - Spring Hill, TN - Mom with 2 kids

W/my little one I used the toys and chocolate. I know some say not to, but i was like you and whatever works. I used small treats for wee wee's and big ones for the poop. I let her go to the dollar store and pick stuff out then put in a basket in the bathroom. WHen she went poop I let her pick something out. It worked. After a couple of weeks of her going constantly, we just stopped the toys. Not a problem anymore. I think it is a total control thing.

My third child, also a boy is the same age and having the same problem. He goes pee fine but I think he actually waits until he sees that I am distracted to hide and poop. Both of my girls struggled with poop too but at least they would hold it until nap time or bed time when they were in a diaper. However, this is what my girls taught me about potty training. They do it when they are ready and rewarding (although I still do that) and punishing really don't motivate. They may understand the consequences, but the issue at hand is much bigger than that to them. My advice is keep him in pull ups so clean up is easier for you and let go of the struggle. I know it is hard especially with a new baby and the extra work that it is for you, but it won't make the progress any quicker, just more unhappy for both of you. The one thing I know about parenting is that nothing stays the same forever, he will poop on the potty. Hope this helps.

I completely sympathize with you. When my son was potty training, he did regress as well. I think it is quite normal when a sibling is added to the family. My youngest is not quite 24 months younger then my son. My advice is just keep working with him. Have motivators (i.e. a hot wheels car from the dollar tree, or fire truck, our pediatrician even gave me this suggestion). But let him know that he will only be rewarded if he goes to the potty like a big boy. My son seemed to think that he could get a toy after every time he went to the potty. He was corrected (smile). This did help him though. Don't get discouraged. My son was almost 4yrs when he finally got it. It just took time. I have had friends tell me that boys seem to take longer with the potty training. And lastly, I also kept pull-ups on hand for night time. People discouraged me against it, but my husband and I did what worked for us. I don't think it made my son regress any more.

Take care

K. O

Congrats on the new baby....what an adjustment for the entire family..including your little boy. My advice...you get more bees with honey!! Punishing a child for something developmental. Think about it...what good does it do? Do we punish because a child does not read the same time "Johnny" does; or because he cannot hit a baseball like "Tommy." Positive reinforment goes a long way. My teenagers still tease me about the "Potty Song" we used to sing.."I'm so proud of you, so proud of you, "Annie" went pee-pee on the potty." Don't stress, don't punish, just enjoy your little boy and know that most children are potty trained by the time they go to school. (PS Pull-Ups are a security blanket and feel just like diapers. Having your son pick out and wear "big boy" undies even when he has accidents could help. Also, if he has an accident, help him be responsible and learn how to help you clean it up.

He sounds like he has seen what you do to the baby changing it's diaper. So he thinks he can do it too.
I am just guessing.
You can see if that is what is happening.
Or he wants the same attention.
I feel he has a little jealousy gone on.
He had you by yourself before the new baby came.
It will take some time.

Hsve you tried m&m's or stickers. I never used pullups because they reminded me of fancy diapers and kids have a harder time potty training. To help with the hiding factor- have him pick out a big boy potty. Keep one in the living room and one in the bathroom. When you and your husband go to the bathroom. Take him. It worked wonders with my girls. The angry route and taking things like that away never works. Maybe making him clean his clothes after he does it might. But also use rewards and praise. Tell him- if you go today and not poop in your pants you get this. Increase it slowly. Tell him. If you go a week without pooping in your pants we'll get you big boy underwear. etc. Good luck

Maybe since you brought this baby home and you are now taking things away there is a connection between the 2. Maybe he feels because this baby is here he is losing things that he likes. I had the same trouble with my son regressing. I think all kids go through it. I tried everything. Finally I decided that the best thing for me was to first put real "grundies" (as we call them) on him. The pull up was just like a diaper to him and when he had one on he would just wet it or mess it no problem. We used pull ups only at night right before bed. I made sure as soon as he got up he was changed. Second any mess he made he cleaned up. If he wet himself it was up to him to grab new undies and pants. He had to take the dirty clothes to the dirty pee bucket and he had to clean up any mess he made on the floor. If he messed his pants then he had to take care of this himself in the bathroom. I would always go back and make sure everything was cleaned up but he was responsible for it. One week of this and he was done. No one wants extra work and when it is easier to go to the potty then that is what they choose. It is all about choices and being in control. Make him in control. They dont control too much in their little lives. They can control a mess in their pants when you let them.

Try to stay positive at ALL times! He is learning and it will take time. I know first hand it can be frustrating but you really need to always stay positive and be encouraging!

My son is 4 years old now and just now is potty trained in the past month. At 18 months old, he was doing great and going every time I put him on the potty. Until his potty chair pinched him. It was one where the bowl lifts out of the top. He stood up, the bowl stuck to him, he sat back down really fast and ended up with a blood blister on his thigh. After that, he would not use the potty, even purchasing a new one/different style, he still wouldn't go.

I had talked with his doctor several times about him not using the potty. Her advice was...wait...when he is ready it will happen. All the punishment in the world won't make it happen until he is both physically and emotionally ready.

His occupational therapist agreed with this.

We would try every couple of months. Finally this last time, after the baby had been home a couple months, it worked. We had been talking to him about how he was big boy now and needed to wear big boy pants, that once the diapers were finished he would have to use the potty, etc. One night while he was asleep, all the diapers and pull-ups disappeared. In their place were 12 pair of underwear.

The next morning we let him wear his diaper until he peed. After that, we put on the underwear, brought the potty chair into the living room where he had easy access to it. The first couple times he peed in his underwear. He asked for a towel to clean the floor, went and set on the potty to finish. He went through about 4 pair of underwear in about 2-3 hours that morning. Then no more accidents that day. The next day only one accident. The next day only one accident. It has been just over three weeks now since the last day accident. He has only had one more accident and that was the other night while he was asleep.

We made a sticker chart. Each time he used the potty, he got a sticker to put on the chart and one to play with. We also did a happy dance for him and said good job, clapped, etc.

My advice is back off, give him a few weeks then try again. Getting upset isn't going to help and actually can make things worse for him becuase of the anxiety. If you are stressed over it, he will be stressed over it and will regress even more.

Boys tend to potty train later. Our pediatrician said that as long as they are 90% by 5 years old then there is nothing to worry about.

Relax and just let nature work on it! I promise he will potty train when he is ready and there will be NO stress if you let him lead the way.

Congratulations on the new baby! Focus on the fact that your son is toilet-trained. He knows how. Sometimes boys just do not care if they sit in their own mess or not. Some success has been seen when the child wears cloth diapers or underwear and when they choose not to use the toilet the child is the one to clean out the mess. (with supervision of course!)

I have the same problem. My 4-year-old will go peepee in potty all day long and wear underwear until it is time to poopy. Then he will go poopy in his underwear or will find a nighttime pullup that he still wears when he sleeps and poops in them. He will not poop in the potty. I have tried rewards and have bought different potty seats. He will start school next year and I just do not know how to make him poop in the potty. I also have a 2-year-old that I need to potty train and a baby due in December. If you have any success let me know the secret.

I agree with the person that said not to punish your child for something that is developmental. My son is turning 4 next week and he just starting pooping in the potty last week. He is my 4th son and my 4th son that has had this issue. Also pull-ups are fancy diapers. We use pull ups at night and that is it. If he has an accident in underwear then he will learn from it, if he has one in a pull up then it feels no different than a diaper. When he has an accident tell him that it is ok and it is just time to help clean it up and tell him try to remember to go in the toilet next time. If he is loosing stuff for having an accident then he is going to hide it, he is going to be afraid to go to you for help. Be there for him while he is learning and get rid of the pull-ups during the day. Yes it can be messy but it works better. We also dump the poop from the underwear in the toilet, that way he sees where the poop goes and that it is ok in there, instead of just listening to us tell him. Good Luck.

One thing I heard that works is letting him pick out his own big boy underwear (Cars, Dieogo etc) Tell him we don't want to get so and so wet or dirty and if we do we have to throw them away. If he messes in them show him that you are throwing them away. Some boys are so attached to their favorite characters that it will bother them when you throw them away.
HTH

I'm sorry. I know this is extremely frustrating for you and my advice is probably going to make you pull your hair out. But it's the same advice that my pediatrician says and my reaseach and personal experience, stop dealing with it. Here's my story. My daughter, now 4, still will not poop in the potty. She pees fine, but refuses to poop. I took various tactics, once I even follwed her around for 3 days and when she looked as if she was getting ready to go, I took her immediately to the potty. I took away extras, I promised treats. All this extra "attention" did was to make her regress, and start having peeing "accidents" and I almost had to retrain her on that. So, we took a step back and this is where we are at current. She wears panties all day long. When she needs to poop, she comes to me and asks for a diaper, I ask her to sit on the potty and try (which she does) then she gets herself a diaper, and when finished comes to me and asks for help cleaning up. Luckily we got her on a regular schedule so this all occurs around 7pm at night before bed. It's not great, but it's better than constant messes in panties or constant use of pullups. Now that we are more rlaxed about it - she is too. We read books like "Everyone Poops" and she even talks about/takes her dolls into the potty to poop. I understand the frustration. Our kids are about the same age range and my husband works 90+ hrs a week. So I know how hard/frustrating it is. But believe me - you need the mental break from it as much as he does. Just figure out something that will work for you both.

Congratulations on the birth of your new baby boy! Enjoy this time.. it passes SO quickly! (I have 3 girls 8, 5 & 2). I would suggest letting the potty training thing go for now ... he is not going to be wearing pull ups when he starts school. I am sure the regression has lots to do with all the changes around him right now. Kids potty train when their bodies are full and ready ... he probably just needs some more time to adjust to everything. I would not sweat it!

Good luck!
Cris
www.handcraftedheartandsoul.com

The first thing you need to do is take a deep breath and relax. It is very normal for them to regress with a new one in the house. Some of it is about attention, but there is a lot of change in your house and he might have regressed without a new baby. Punishment and shame doesn't work....I have tried all those things and it makes it a lot worse. Praise him when he goes on the potty but I would put him in pull ups or back in a diaper for a few weeks or a month and then start the potty training process all over again. It is a minor set back and the more you and your husband are upset about, the bigger the issue is. I have potty trained 5 children and have taught 2's for about 7 years. Good luck and it will all be okay.