Potty Training.... - Fayetteville, NC

Updated on May 22, 2009
A.B. asks from Broadway, NC
18 answers

My daughter just turned 2 and we've been dabbling in potty training. She will tell me she has to go AFTER she's done it in her diaper or pullup. She then sits on the potty with no results obviously since she's just done her business. I feel like I'm missing a step here...how do I get her to tell me BEFORE? Maybe she's still figuring out the "got to go" feeling?? Once she's wet or dirtied her diaper, she immediately wants it off. She's showing all the signs and making progress! Am I headed in the right direction? How do I explain the "go to go" feeling to her? lol Thanks!

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So What Happened?

Of course lots of different suggestions so I have lots to work with! I think we'll try coins in the piggy bank bc she's obsessed with carrying coins in her pockets anyway. I'm all about taking it slow, I didn't plan on a certain date for potty training-I got a potty chair last November (a friend bought one for her daughter and she didn't want anything to do with it, only the "big" potty so she gave it to me) and on Thanksgiving she got up and told my husband she had to pee so we sit her on it and she went! She's only gone twice since then and never a #2. She does stay dry for about an hour or two at a time, as well. I'm going to check out those books and just keep asking her! I think I have the advantage here of not being stressed about it bc I didn't think we'd be working on this until she was at least 3 but she started showing mental and physical readiness signs. As far as the pullups go...I kinda feel the same way a lot of you did-they're just like diapers! She can't get them on n off easily so we might as well go to panties. Thanks for all the input!

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E.F.

answers from Louisville on

A Must Read: The No Cry Potty Solution

Keep trying. One day with in the next 6 months she'll understand better and start using the potty. Let her go sans diaper as often as possible so she learns her body signals. Talk to her about using the potty and have different people demonstrate. Don't stress. Most important thing is to not stress about it. Think of potty training like learning to self feed. It takes time, lots of mistakes and set backs, and patients. Also helps to have a good carpet cleaner handy.

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S.P.

answers from Raleigh on

Hi A.! I've recently gone through this with my son who is now 2 1/2. Here's what worked for us. I explained to him that he was a big boy now and needed to go pee pee & poopy in the potty now like mommy & daddy and that we didn't have anymore diapers so he was going to wear big boy underwear. Then I gave him a lot to drink so I knew he would have to go potty soon and just sat him on the potty like every 20 min. We did have a few accidents at first, but after a few trys he finally went in the potty and it kind of clicked for him. We made a chart where he got to put a sticker on each time he went in the potty & he got a special treat (for him we used M&M's) and that was all the motivation he needed. Before we seriously started potty training I would occasionally sit him on the toilet so he would be used to it and not be nervous. You just need to find something that she really likes and make a big deal when she does finally go in the potty. It sounds like she has all of the signs of being ready, but she's still young so be patient if it doesn't happen right away. Potty training is stressful, but rewarding after it's done! Good luck and hope this helps.

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C.R.

answers from Greensboro on

It is very possible that she is trying to figure out the sensations. Do you give her any incentives to go in the potty? The thing that worked best for us is we gave our daughter pennies for going potty in the toilet. We gave her 1 penny for pee and 2 for poop (my parents did M&M's but I didn't want to give her candy). She was so proud walking over to her piggy bank and depositing her pennies. This also led into a great lesson on saving money and counting the money and exchanging the pennies into higher denominations (nickels, dimes, quarters). It worked very well.

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L.W.

answers from Charlotte on

Hi! I am actually going through the same thing with the whole potty training thing. Just stick with it. I know it's hard...believe me. I've been through this twice before with my sons. She will eventually get it. Just take her to the potty about every 15-20 minutes. I know that sounds exhausting, but it seems to work. Where do you live? We are close to Charlotte, NC. I would love to have playdates for my little girl, too. She is 21 months.

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V.C.

answers from Wheeling on

I'm a grandma ("Mom-Mom") to 3 siblings (oldest daughter's kids) and 'Mom' to 4 adults -- 2 ladies/2 gentlemen. I love potty training and our 4 were fully trained by or before age 2, so I must've done something right! LOL

First, try to catch her at the first sign of 'rousing' in the morning and hustle off to potty. Take her diaper off, put her on, and she should pee a LOT (at least sometimes). Make a big happy deal about 'pee-peed in the potty'! Whenever you use the commode, have her sit on hers even if she doesn't do anything (but sing and dance if she does). She'll probably soon start having some kind of indication before the actual happening, and you can say, "Hold it, Hold it!!" and rush to the potty. Every success leads to more. Tell her that when she can tell you BEFORE she needs to go, she gets a little reward (you read her a book, let her watch a short video, gets a couple M&M's or whatever). Then tell her that when she can go, say, two weeks without any (awake-time) accidents, she can pick out her own panties and make a special trip to the store just for them.

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H.F.

answers from Nashville on

I have two older kids (9 and 11) and an 11 month old, so it's been awhile since the potty training has occurred in my house. However, this is what worked for my daughter. We kept the little kid potty in the living room and basically let her run around naked for a week. (I was a sham at the time.) I would ask her to sit on the potty about every thirty minutes or so, often with a snack or potty training book of some sort. I never made her do it, though. I was afraid if I did then it would become a power struggle. The first time she went I made such a huge deal out of it by dancing and singing a made up potty dance/song that after that first time she was more than willing to go so that she could see mommy act like a nut again. Each time she used it, we moved the potty closer to the bathroom until it was actually in the bathroom. When she used her potty in the bathroom for the first time it was time for another celebration.

I used the same method for my son, but with him when it was time to use the big potty we put cheerios in the toilet to give him something to aim at to minimize the mess. (A step stool is a must for boys!)

For pooping, we kept M&M's on the back of the toilet in a plastic bowl with a lid. Every time the kids pooped in the potty, they got to have two. (Two candies for going number two, they thought this was hilarious!)

At two years old, she is still young, so remember that she still has time. Every child learns at their own time.

Have fun with it. It can be frustrating at times, but I found that by making it fun instead of forcing the issue, both kids seemed to be more willing. We plan on doing the same thing with the baby. Good Luck!

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J.A.

answers from Greensboro on

There are various opinions on what age to potty train, obviously. It sounds like your daughter is definitely interested in it, though, and the fact that she connects the act of going (although in her diaper) with sitting on the potty is GREAT! People typically potty train anywhere from 1 1/2 to 3 yo. Your daughter is still on the younger side of that so I wouldn't stress about it. It sounds like you're doing the right thing. She'll get it! Just keep it up *patiently* and be ready for praise/treat if she does actually go in the potty.
edited to add: If you're seriously wanting to start potty training ... you might try sitting her on the potty once an hour and read a book with her or sing a song or something (so she's there a few minutes)...but don't force her. This may help her to go in the potty instead of her diaper.

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R.B.

answers from Nashville on

As soon as she turned 2 everyone starting pressuring me to potty train my little girl. I never did do any "potty training". She had always seen me and occasionally my husband using the toilet and knew what it was for. She had her own potty chair available for her use and big girl panties ready and waiting. She would occasionally sit on the potty with me but rarely did anything. Then one day when she was 3 1/2 she decided that she was going to sit on the potty and wear panties, that she wasn't a baby anymore. She hasn't worn pullups or a diaper since that day even at night. She has only wet the bed once and had maybe five daytime accidents (all of them when she was too busy doing something fun to take the time until it was too late). So she didn't potty train until she was almost 4 but she did do it and all on her own. This may not work for all toddlers but if you have a stubborn one like mine it has to be their idea.

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S.L.

answers from Lexington on

Sounds like she is showing all of the signs, buy you may want to give a little more time and don't push her. I have 3 kids and all 3 of them were pretty easy to potty train. I had someone tell me to just be patient and a lot of times they will figure it out. I will say with my last I gave her a treat after she put her "potty" in the toilet instead of her diaper. Just a thought.
Don't know if you go to church or not, but Quest Community Church has a great bunch of friendly people that would love to get to know you. (That's where I go!) Very casual church and very youthful! Check out our website www.questcommunity.com. It's very easy to find, just off of New Circle. Good luck on the potty training!!! Thanks to your husband for serving our great country!!!!

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E.M.

answers from Louisville on

she will get it just keep working with her, i found the best way for us was to set a timer every hour and when it went off we would drop everything and try to go potty... if she did she got a tootsie roll for going pee and a little toy from the dollar store for poop. good luck

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R.C.

answers from Raleigh on

Hi A.-
We are just starting with my 20 month old son- mostly because he tells me he will poop before he does- but he didn't with pee. So this is what my Mom suggested to me and it worked like a charm (now- he is a boy so it may be a little different with a girl but worth a try). Sit her on the potty at regular intervals (try every hour at first) and ask her to try and pee. If none comes out then pour warm water on her privates and see if that helps. Since the warm water makes you go pee- even if it is just a small amount- they learn what it feels like. After trying that about 3 times my son learned to pee by himslef. Always reward her for trying so you keep the potty a fun experience. Stickers are a great motivator for us.
Good luck. Let me know if it works for girls if yu decide to try it.

Another thing you might want to try are the Cool pull-ups- they have them at Babies R Us they apparently turn cool after they pee so it is instant feedback to them. Take care

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B.L.

answers from Jacksonville on

The longer you wait, the harder it is to untrain them to stop going in the diaper/pullup. Think about a puppy - easier to train at 4 months or a year? Anyway, the book Toilet Training in Less Than a Day worked like a charm on my 27-month-old boy, in less than a day. Good luck!

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S.S.

answers from Raleigh on

Hey A., this might sound like a huge pain in the butt, but try 2 pairs of training underwear instead of pullups. Toddlers get so used to the feel of a diaper that it feels natural to go in it. No offense, but a pullup is basically the same thing. Your daughter will get she is wearing something different. When you can take 15-30 minute bathroom breaks and use jelly beans or m&m's as rewards. Also if possible let her run around in just a shirt, nothing else on. Their bladders don't work like ours and they can't "hold" it until you remove underwear, diaper, pants, ect...

My son was daytime potty trained up until we recently moved. I have had a little lapse. He will only tell me for poop, but not pee unless I stay dilligent about making him go. He's only 27 months, yet if in underwear he will go all day with usually no accidents. Hope this helps. Trial and error. She will get there don't worry. S.

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A.C.

answers from Charleston on

Every child is different but since yours is telling you she is going means she is aware that something is happening down there so that is a step in the right direction. Sometimes you have to just take time and take her to the potty every 30 minutes till she realizes she has to tell you before. I never used pullups. I think they are to much like diapeers I'd rather clean up the mess. But I waited till me daughter was completely ready. I put the potty in the bathroom and her panties in her room where she could see them every day and we read lots of books about going potty so she knew what those thing werer for. Then one day in july she asked to wear her panties (she was 28 months old) and she never wore a diaper again. Not saying there wasnt accidents heck she's 4 and she peed in church last week but she's trained.

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S.D.

answers from Nashville on

Relax about the potty training. My very wise pediatrican told me when I was having trouble getting my youngest son to potty train that he had not seen a child yet that starts kindergarten in a pull up during the day. All children potty train at different ages. I have four children. My daughter potty trained at 2 and a half. My two older boys all potty trained at age 3. My youngest son took the longest. He potty trained in 3 days at age 4. If you wait until they are about age 3 it is a much easier process. At 3 they understand the concept better. You need to pick a week when you are going to be home all week so that you don't have to ever put a pull up back on again during the day. Just tell your child you are switching to underwear, hide the pull ups, bite the bullet, and do it. With my youngest son we made the switch to underwear and he had 7 accidents the first day, 3 accidents the second day, and no accidents the third day. He had one or two accidents in the next two months and now he is completely potty trained. Make it your priority for about 3 or 4 days and it usually works out. I think the key is to wait until developmentally they are ready and all children are different.

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B.C.

answers from Knoxville on

The thing that worked best with both of my daughters was to put them on the potty as soon as they wake up. They usually will have to go, sometimes you have to wait it out a little bit though. Once they start going first thing in the morning and after naps, it helps them understand that "got to go" feeling better. Then throughout the day take her every hour or so. It is usually a progression of you taking the child every so often to the child telling you when they have to go. I used this method on both of my girls and they were both potty trained at 20 months. I hope this helps!

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K.H.

answers from Huntington on

You ask 10 moms this question and I am sure you will get 10 different responses.

I personally think you should wait a little longer. In my family, my sister had mature girls and she started right after they turned two. She spent week after frustrating week trying all the tips, starting and stopping, dealing with poop on the carpet, etc. In the end, both girls trained out around 2.75yrs.

I am a working mom of a boy and chose to wait. When my son was about the same age (2y 9m), we went cold turkey at home and at the sitters. I never bought a pull-up once! By the end of the week, we were day-trained and a few months later after dry night diapers, we we dropped those, too. There were a few incidents along the way, but it was amazingly easy!

I think kids will be ready when they are ready and starting early doesn't necessarily mean earlier success.

Anyway, good luck!!

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T.M.

answers from Charleston on

I have a daughter who will be 2 in Aug. We have been working on potty training and havnig the same trouble you are. The times she has used the potty we have danced, clapped, made such abig deal of it thinking it would encourage her to do it again. NO. She does it then lets you know. She will sometimes say she has to go and sit there forever and nothing happen. As soon as she gets in the bathtub so lets it fly. She loves money so my husband and I have decided not to give her money for her piggy bank at any time, but only to reward her for using the potty. I hope this works. She still takes a bottle when she naps or goes to bed and I know this horrible for the teeth. We are working on this also. The 9th of June is a good day to break the bottle. We have decided we will concentrate hard on the bottle before we hit potty training to hard. We also have a 7 year old son and everything with him was a breeze. I don't know if it's the difference in boy/girl or second child syndrome. Good luck!

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