Potty Training - Carrollton, TX

He sounds like he is in a zone of proximal development. He knows but isn't quite there. That is were we come in as parents. Just remind him that he can do it, and try to be as consistent as possible.

Pull ups usually drag out potty training, because children have a crutch to use. Also, remember that it is also harder for the little ones in the winter time.

I used a book called Once Upon a Potty. I like the book, because it does not make it a game and fun time like most books. It helps children understand their body and what it feels like when they need to go. It has been around for over 30 years, so that speaks for itself.

Hang in there--you both can do it together. And, if you find some interesting information, I would just pass it along to his father--in written format. That might help. I also have a son who visits his father and written format helps with us the most, because we generally can not get along.

I had to use the training underwear with my youngest son. The Pull ups were just like a diaper for him. If you will really work at it for several days or even a week, I think you can do it. My son hated feeling wet and didn't appreciate all the extra baths he had to take. It took a lot of baths and a lot of laundry that week, but it worked.

The average age for boys to potty train is 4 years and with so much going on in his life right now, he might not be ready.

I bet he is regressing when he is with his dad if they are not working with him. If you and his dad get along, maybe you should just sit down and say you need his help with this. GOod Luck!

With mine, I just waited until they were ready. They were all a little over 3 but never had accidents. They just decided they wanted big girl / big boy undies and that was it. It may have been laziness on my part but it was sure easy. I have 5 down and 2 more to go. Good luck. I know the back tracking is frustrating. If dad is not working with him, that will be an issue too.

Dear M.,

I hope this finds you well.
My second son also was "delayed" with potty training. He would go forward and backwards many times. I found that if I pushed, it would backfire; if I left it alone, he would move forward on his own. The night time pt has taken the longest. most recently, he wears pull ups at night (6 1/2 yrs old) and stays dry most nights. The physical pressure of the pull ups reminds him to go potty. I have read reports that some boys may take up to 7 years to gain control over this process. If you can, in any way, try to keep it light - consistent and light. See if the father can be on board helping out in any way. Your child will eventually learn to use the potty.

Yours,
A.

First, since you have an older child, you probably know that backtracking is pretty much a given somewhere along the way when potty training! Don't worry too much about what "they" do with him - you can ask for support, but then the rest is up to them.

I learned with my three girls that a fairly matter-of-fact approach seemed to work... something along the lines of, "Is that a peepee in your pants? That doesn't look very fun. Does it feel nice?" in a very conversational tone. If you're truly speaking WITH him, he'll probably get engaged enough to really start thinking about it - no, actually, it DOESN'T feel very nice, now that you mention it!

Be just as matter-of-fact about the clean up process - maybe hand him a wipe for the initial clean-up so that he really understand that this is starting to be his issue. Any drama during the process can be rewarding, so low-key is essential. Save the excitement for succesful trips to the potty!

Good luck - I know it's frustrating when such a large part of your kid's life is lived outside your household, but sounds like you're doing great!

As I am sure you know, pray and God will send the answers. I will pray for you, also that you will find the right path to happiness and fulfillment.
My son started potty training and backtracked, also. Just work with him as you can, and don't force the issue. He will go when he is ready. After all, how many kindergartners do you see in pullups? I am sure the transition is making it more difficult, so your support either way will go a long way and he will eventually go on his own. My son is four now and he just got out of pullups around 3-1/2. Yes, it is trying, but he has not had to go back (except at night) since he made the decision on his own. Encourage the potty, but don't force it if he doesn't want to use it. There's always tomorrow to try again.
God bless you and your boys. :)

Have you ever thought of putting him in a daycare situation temporarily? I know a lot of churches have part day and all day daycare. They are not so much consistent as they give the kids the "opportunity to go potty" but once your son sees all of his friends going potty and wearing underwear, and it not being a burden but a necessity, maybe he will join in.

Michelle,

When my children were young the doctor told me to let them go and not fret over the potty. They would train themselves when they were ready. I followed his advice and here is what I had with 5 kids:
1 trained herself at 16 months
2 at 22 months
and then the boys, 1 was 39 months and one 40 months. The boys were slower, but the stress on me fretting was nil. We used cloth diapers and it just meant more washing.

Relax, don't stress him over it and he will train.

P.

about me: mom of 5, remarried to a wonderful man and now have 8 kids, 17 grandkids and Christian husband I just adore.

Dear M.... It has been quite a while since my two boys went through the potty training stage but I do recall the same lack of interest at the same age. What helped us "get interested" in the process was the discovery of a special potty training toy. I hope they are still available as they worked like a charm. Basically, the toy was a small bottle full of little, colored, animal figures or shapes made out of biodegradable sponge that you threw into the toilet. The water would be absorbed into the sponge and make the object a bit bigger. There was no problem with clogging toilets or anything like that. The point of the game was to get your son to aim and try to shoot/hit the object in the toilet. It was a game of skill and mastery that made potty training fun and something to look forward to. A lot of praise for hitting the target went a long way in encouraging repeat positive performance and eventually led to the next phase of sitting on the pot as the next logical progression. It worked well and there was no pressure which is a good thing. Good luck and hope this helps.

Hi, my name is V.. I understand what you are going through. I have two boys, one is 31 months and one is 9 yrs. old. My youngest son goes to daycare and his teacher works with him on potty training. She puts him in underwear and takes him to the bathroom every 30 min. It worked for a about a week and now he shows no interest. He has been sick with multiple ear infections, I think that is why he has not gone to the potty. I feel, that it is best to wait until they are ready. I work with him at home, but since he has been sick, I've stopped. Don't give up, it will happen when your son is ready.

My son is around the same age as yours, turns 3 in May. He just caught on to potty training. It was a consistency thing with us too. Spends 2 days a week (9 hours a day) with grandparents and the other 2 days at the Preschool at our church while I'm at work. I have him at home Friday-Sunday so there so no way I could get everyone to do the same thing with him. Pull ups didn't work for him either, he just used them like a diaper. I finally just put him in underwear. I started off with putting him in underwear just the days I was home with him in the day so I could see how he would respond. We had alot of messes to clean up, but when he would go in his pants, I would explain to him that was yucky and he needed to go on the potty. Even though he had already gone in his pants, I put him on the toilet anyway. He finally got to where he'd start to pee in his underwear and would feel it wet and stop and tell me he needed to go. We are on our first week of having him in underwear and he's doing great. I just pack him with a few extra sets of clothes and hope he does good.

Consistancy is the key factor when it comes to anything and everything with toddlers - my daughter was the same way for a while. Thankfully her daycare works with them as well and it made my job much easier. Her seeing others her age making the transistion made her want to try it as well - as of her 3rd birthday it was like we walked from one world to the next. She made the decision of no more pull-ups. she was a big girl and only wanted panties.... she is almost 4 now and does wonderfully - an accident everyone once in a while but not often at all....

Now, my nephew, who is 3 days younger than my daughter - he absolutely refuses. But then again, I am not so sure he is urged either. His mother is in denial and not wanting him to grow up. she has also already made the decision to not send him to Pre-K... she wants to keep him home for one more year.

good luck - but consistancy and routine have a lot to do with this. I hope you can make it work, but remember, encouragement is also the key - if they arent ready - they just arent ready.... its their terms and their time.

This may sounds like crazy advise but take the pressure off and tell him its up to him if he wants to go in the big boy potty. I have 3 boys and for each of them no matter how I tried to encourage they all made the transition on their own time.
Since I know what works for one does not work for all - one cute suggestion another mom had given me was to have a Potty Party. Have his favorite superhero call and congratulate him for going ont he potty and say hes sucha big boy and a hero himself. Cute ?
Also you had a few motes about yourself and about being interested in making a difference and finding a path with work. I am also a christian mom and staying home has been my priority and I have been truely blessed by my home based business where I get to literally impact lives daily. You can learn more about it by checking our my website at www.HealthnWealthCoaching.myarbonne.com or contact me to chat.
Blessing to you and all the luck and patience with potty training.

Well, if it makes you feel any better (probably not), my son was not potty trained until 2 months short of 4 years old. He refused to potty train and the pull ups didn't work on him either. I finally gave up on doing the way the "experts" and pediatrian told me to do it, and did it the cold turkey way. I dedicated 3 whole days on training him and put him in underwear only. After the first day, I almost gave up because it went terrible....but he was potty-trained by the 3rd day.

No advice here, just glad to know I'm not alone!!! I'm a stay at home mom to a 33 month on girl. She does great with #1, but she refuses to do #2 in the potty. I am very discouraged, but have just kinda decided to give up until she decides to do it. It's really frustrating to me because she is very advanced for her age in other ways. Her vocabulary is similar to a 5 year olds and the things she knows blows me away. O well, guess some kids just have their own schedule! Good Luck!!! You are not alone! :)

My son oldest son, now 4, went through a stage where he regressed in potty training. At the time we had a 18 month foster son and I was pregnant with my second child. Due to this I was very sick and spent much of my pregnancy on bed rest. Many times change plays a big role in regression issues with kids. Pull-ups never worked for my son- he thought of it as a diaper, therefore used it as a diaper. We tried prizes...didn't work. He then always said he had to go-yet didn't which only brought more frustration because i was taking him to the potty 20 zillion times a day to no avail. So we resorted to the underwear, yes... the kind that don't absorb urine. sounds like self torture...huh? We talked to him (in that toddler kind of way) and took him to the store to pick out his very own 'throne'(it actually was a throne that played royal fanfare when he went potty due to a sensor in it). Now understand we already had a potty that he refused to sit on. and a potty seat (for the big potty) that he didn't like or use either. But i have learned at least with my son, that he likes to be a part of the changes in his life. So we got rid of those and let him pick out his own. We mad it a huge deal... and by that I mean HUGE!! He even held the money, paid for it, and told the cashier at walmart all about how he picked it out because he was a big kid now. It would have been pathetic if it wasn't so cute!! We put him in his new underwear (which he also picked out)! And let him go...literally. He wet himself 2 times and that was it, never again. It was grand central station around our house for 2 days...but mission accomplished. Whatever method you use... pray that God will help him & give you peace & patience in the middle of it. It is hard to imagine but one day you are going to look back and smile at moments like these.

Hi there,
My son when I potty trained him. He loved Bubble gum, and I went to walmart and bought a cheap bubble gum machine, every time he went pottied, He got a dime, and got to put his money in the machine and got gum. He loved it, then he got to go buy a toy with all his money. This took excatly one week. I went straight to unders wear no pull ups for him. I made him go every 30mins rather he needed to or now. HOpe this helps. Good luck it is so flipping hard!!!!!

My daughter was 39 months old when we did it. My family had been pressuring us for over a year, but when we did it, it really stuck and even though we moved 3 weeks later, she never backslid. I knew she had complete understanding of when she needed to go, but our home had been in such extreme upheaval for so long(dad had to move out of state for work, mom fractured her pelvis and was bed ridden for months and we had to move into grandma's to be cared for, new baby came as well) I never pushed it. Well, I finally decided to do it and I went online and chose Dr Phil's 1 day potty training. Basically we planned a party for the end of the day after potty training. We talked about it for maybe 4 days prior, then did it, and she was reluctant and their were some tears, but by the end of the day she got it! It took literally 2 more days of reminders and help and then she was completely potty trained. I think the child is ready when mom is and when the child shows an understanding of when he goes. I wouldn't expect the child to be excited to do it though. I'd wait until it looks like you and him are both ready and then do it when you have him for 4 straight days. That should be all it takes since he's older. good luck

Hi M.
My son is going to be three next month and he is not potty
trained either.Same reason,he is with my mom during the day,butalso with his dad twice weekly.It seems nobody is
really trying.I also am a single mom, with a three yr. old
and twin boys that just turned 21.I work fulltime
now but would sure like to work from home somehow.
Good luck with your son,I am sure they will be potty trained
by the time they start school.
M.

Consistancy is hard. We travel alot and due to that we don't have any consistancy and routines. But I have realized that all children are different and they all have their own time for everything. I don't agree with what stage, or what you child has to be doing at a certain age. They all grow differently. My son was potty trained a little after 2, he showed interest after one but I pushed him and it didn't work. I think the thing that really worked was when his boy cousin was around I asked him to take Ayden to the bathroom when he goes and it worked. My 10 year old nephew potty trained my 2 year old. At that age saying things like you know Brandon (my nephew) eats veggies you know and he wants to eat them too. It helps that they adore each other. He wants to be just like him. Pull up don't work...kids are smart they know it is a diaper. Brandon live far away but is very much in our everyday life :) I love Brandon!!!

I feel your frustration! My son wanted to use the potty at 2yrs for about a week. I think it was just interesting, and then it became work for him! When my son (now 4 1/2) was 3, I had another baby. All of my friends told me I needed to potty train him before the baby was born. However, I know my child and knew the change of having a new baby brother was enough for him to handle, and potty training would happen naturally eventually. He finally decided he wanted to be like all of his friends when he was 3 1/2 years old, and he just started using the potty every single time he needed to go. He had one accident a few months later, but other than that, he was potty trained exactly when he was ready to do it. It was much easier for me to wait 'til he was completely ready, because it never was a fight and he controlled it. So....that being said....your son will figure it out on his own time. Boys tend to take awhile sometimes.

Hi M.,

Relax and wait until your son shows more interest. Remember, the AVERAGE age for boys to potty train is around 3 years. That means some will train sooner and some will train later. Of my three sons, two were right at 3 years or a little past before training. The third was closer to 2-1/2, but he had two older brothers as ever-present role models.

If your son is not in a play group or around other boys who are potty trained, it might help to plan play dates with a friend and let him observe. Your son will eventually notice that other boys his age are not wearing diapers or pull ups (when this happens for those boys), and he will then show more interest. When he was doing well earlier, did he show a real awareness of his urges to go? If so, then that is a big step.

You might consider having him wear pullups only when he is ready to try using the potty regularly. The diapers will work fine until then and he can "graduate or move up" to big boy pullups.

If you research similar questions on potty training on Mamasource, you will find advice from me as a Parent Coach and mother and from other great moms on this subject. There are also a number of great books out there for you and your son.

By the way, this is an excellent time to open and grow your co-parenting skills with your son's father. It is much healthier for your son if you can both try to discuss issues such as these and reach some sort of agreement on how to deal with them in your respective homes. As a loving and concerned parent, I'm sure your realize it will not be the last challenge you face in raising your sons.

Good luck!

J. B.
Parent Coach

Since he is doing split time with parents that is going to be your biggest battle. I think if it were me and i were in that situation, I would wait till summer. Then you can strip him down to 'big boy' underwear and take him potty every 30 minutes. I guarantee that if he is running around just in underwear at your house, he is going to want to do that at dad's house too. LOL Then they will be more motivated to take him to potty rather than let him wet on the carpet. ;-)

And if it still does not matter to him then I would just stick to the underwear and let him learn how terribly uncomfortable it is to be all nasty, sticky, stinky, wet if you wet your pants. By the time he is 3 1/2 he should be able to realize and verbalize how he feels, what he can do to help himself, and what he needs others to do to help him.

Good luck

My son, now 21, didn't want to bother with it. Diapers were fine with him. He didn't have to stop playing to go to the bathroom as long as he was in diapers. I never used pull-ups. I would rather change a diaper. He was 3 in January and still not potty trained. In the spring of that year we started talking about going to vacation Bible school and I told him he could not go unless he could use the bathroom. The would not change diapers. That was all it took. He decided he would do and did immediately. He had control and control of us but had to decide for himself.

If you want to potty train your child,you really need to be at home for at least a week or 2 with him.There is no consistancy for him and he's confused.You have to have a routine for him or her.when het gets up in the morning put the child on the potty,because everyone has to use the potty when they wake up. Give the child lots of praise when they use the potty.Let them know that they are big kids now.Dont ever feed your kids on the potty because they then think that the potty is a chair to eat on instead of potting on.After a week or 2 he will get the hang of it and will want to go to the potty like the big people.Always remember all kids are different when it comes to potty training,some are fast and others are just a little bit slower.I have potty trained 3 kids of my own and 2 grandsons.Oh by the way you do need just a little discipline with the potty training.B Fulcher