Potty Training - Tulsa,OK

I have a 4 year old and a 9 year old both boys. My 9 year old wasn't completely potty trained till he was almost 5! Despite many attempts he was resistant, he basically made the decision and started going on his own. He was extremely frustrating!!!! My 4 year old he responded to the singing and dancing. the praise that he did something good was the best incentive for him. Its not easy but hang in there!

just stop everything. don't put any pressure or rewards or anything on him. don't even talk about it. just put a diaper on him and drop the whole thing for a month or two. he will do it on his own time. maybe start up just asking him if he would like to go in march and see how it goes. you can't make him poop. and you can't make him care about being messy. we all make potty training into such a big deal. i just told myself that it was my issue, not his, and let ours both just figure it out, and they did, in their own time, and both in their own way.

Your son is old enough to know to go to the bathroom when he needs to relieve himself,unless he has some sort psychological problem. The problem is that he doesn't care. I have experienced the same problem with a son who doesn't seem to care about getting to the toilet on time. He has a habit of just getting changed out of his pull-ups, no doubt, but these are costly. I spent money on 1 1/2 years of pull-ups, then switched back to diapers before my son trained--shortly before age three.
Get tough. Try taking away privileges, t.v., games, video games, dessert. Even say that a prized toy will be put up until he successfully goes in the toilet--.
Then stick to your guns. Do not give in. Whatever you say, pick one, be consistent and don't nag or whine or give insults. Just follow through on what you have clearly stated. Try not to get upset, but know that he needs to develop this new habit. Have him go and sit for awhile on the toilet at times after meals or when he usually goes. They say 21 days of doing something establishes a habit.
Hope you have success.

Hi I'm C. and new to the site. I am having the same problem w/bowel movements and my 4yr 4mth old. These however are linked to several schools where he was given sadly abusive feedback. The advice I read previously given to you sounds much like my docs advice. You are not alone! Keep the faith and keep consistent. I am hoping and praying for the both of us. Thanks for the dialog.
Chery L.
1-17-09 Hey ya'll, i just read all of the advice and got some great feedback on the "poop in the potty" issue. Thanks!

Dear H. P,
I had the same problem with my 3 year old. You probably did like me and somewhere around 2 he was probably ready but you didn't know quite what to do then either. LOL. I finally said forget the pull-ups because at 3 they had become like diapers. I thought too hey let's just drop the whole thing and he'll do it when he's ready. I didn't want my son to be 4 and pooping in his pants ok. I just started putting underwear on him and I bought some hershey bars and everytime he went he got a peice of the bar. He needed a bigger reward than m & ms. In less than a month he formed the habit and is now going to the potty out of habit and he doesn't need rewards anymore. Hope this helps. If you go anywhere make sure he uses the potty right before you leave.

Hi H.!
I had the SAME PROBLEM with my son who is now 5. I put Cheerios in the toilet before he went and asked him to try hitting the Cheerios in the very middle. He did okay for about 3 weeks then started peeing and pooping his pants again. So, then it became a social thing. I told him that his other little friends didn't do that. Also, i asked him what he thought when other kids pooped/peed thier pants in school. He said he thought it was nasty so then he decided to take books in the bathroom when he goes. I don't know what got him into this habit but, it works!!! No poopie/peed undies in a yr for us!

Dear H. P,

When my son was about the same age, I had similar problems. Fortunately I lived out in the country and was able to let him run around naked so he had a better understanding of his bodily functions; I taught him to "pee on the tree!", etc.
It seems to me that the "dirty pants" don't bother him because he's done it all his short life. It is just a natural fact that he knows already.
I don't know if it's inherant to boys, but I also had problems with him going poop on the potty, so I had a bunch of empty Betty Crocker Butter containers (the large ones) and encouraged him to use those, instead of having to "rush" to the bathroom which can hinder the progress of going.
Since I was a stay at home mother, I could keep a constant eye on him and would grab the bowl and place it under him whenever I saw the urge coming on--this took some of the pressure off of him of not having his feet securely planted on the floor, unlike sitting on the toilet where his feet just dangled and didn't have a secure platform to help him push.
Then I also taught him, since it was "his" poop, it was "his" responsibility to take care of it. So when he was done going, I would have him pick up the bowl, dump it in the toilet, wipe, throw the bucket away, flush, and thoroughly wash his hands.
This seemed to transition him nicely to going to the bathroom when the urge came on. I also like to think that the lack of pressure I put on these normal functions prevented him from becoming a "bed-wetter". It just takes some time and patience and lots of lots of love!

Sincerely yours,
M.

I had two kids that weren't interested in pooping in the potty - especially my last child, the only boy. What finally worked was never using pull-ups. Instead, we used rubber pants when we went out (grocery shopping, etc.) so that any mess he made would be contained. He HATED the rubber pants - they are hot and uncomfortable. He was old enough to understand that if he stopped having accidents, he could stop wearing the rubber pants. We also had him rinse his wet/dirty underwear. I dumped the bulk of the poop in the potty, and then gave him the underpants to rinse out. He also HATED that. I explained very calmly that "In our house, the person who makes the mess is responsible to clean it up." I helped him very little - but would stand with him to explain what he needed to do and then to make sure he washed his hands really well at the end of it. Within a few weeks, he decided that it was just easier to use the potty.

I hope you have success soon. I can remember the frustration!

My son has been potty trained during the day since 24 months. We can't seem to get him not to potty in his pants at night. So, if you get any really good info. that works, send it my way. The Good night pants are sending me to the poor house. hahaha

I am reading a book called Potty Training 1-2-3 because I have the exact same problem. Good luck! Hopefully, we will get some help!

H.,

Look for a book to read about going potty like a big kid. Insert his name into the book. When my daughter was having trouble potty training I got a book by little critter. We would sit and talk about the fact that she needed to go potty like a big kid and then we would read the story. I would put her name in the story and names she knew, this helped her to better relate to the story. She soon was wanting to go potty like the book.

This may sound silly but we also would clap and sing a song every time she went on the potty. She is 11 and still remembers the "potty song". We just said words like "Child's name" just went pee pee or poo poo on the potty and clap and dance around and make a big deal about it. She would get so excited.

The song may sound silly but she was having troubles and I was ready to do anything to encourage her using the bathroom on the potty. We were sooo ready to get her potty trained. I guess it helped because she still remembers the song and actually sang it to her little cousin who was having trouble going on the potty.

Good Luck with your little boy!

S.

Our son did not want to go poop in the potty at first either. Have you tried a toddler toliet seat with handles to put on your home toliet? They have differnt styles at walmart (football, spongebob, etc). Let him pick on out at the store. My son liked the handles, it gave him something to hang on too.
We also did rewards, but this is how we did it. I bought a set of dalmation puppies at the Disney store. Each day he went poop in the potty, he got to pick one out. He knew they were there, he could see them, but couldn't have them until he pooped in the potty. By the time he earned all of them, he didn't think twice about going poop in the potty.
And don't use pull ups. Let him pick out big boy undies too. It's harder on you, but may make him want to keep the character on his undies clean... don't want to poop on mickey mouse, or whatever character undies he picks.
Good luck!

Have you tried making him rinse his dirty underwear in the sink? That works for some kids. Hasn't worked for my daughter because she likes to clean!

One suggestion my mom told me today is to try spending more time with him. He may be doing this for attention, whether it's good or bad. I believe I am guilty of this with my daughter because I have so much to do on my own with my husband not here. In the evenings I'm too tired to play a whole lot, and I really should be spending more time with her.

I hope he catches on soon!! He will get it eventually. Oh, if you haven't already you may talk to him about how it stinks when he poops in his pants and nobody likes to smell it. Again, didnt work with my daughter because she just repeats this back to you after she's pooped :(