Potty Training Advice - Kansas City,MO

what ever you do don't put her back into diapers because she will progress backwards. I will tell you to tell your daycare provider to have her go every hour or so and then she will be used to going and she might pick up on having to go and may go on her own. don't stress her to much with potty training she will do it when she is ready to. I used to be a daycare provider and we did not push them until the were 4 or so. each child develops at there own pace and so i would not worry is there older kids at this daycare provider that she is around or is she the only one her age this also can play a role in it to. If you have other children in her same age group that are using the toliet independentally then she can see how they do it and she will pick up on this adventally. my son was 4 until he was full potty trained. good luck and don't push let her do it on her own and at her own pace.

I just responded to another potty training question on Mamasource and recommended for that Mom to get "Once Upon A Potty for Her" on dvd. It has a silly potty song for your daughter and afterward a DR. shares info. for the parent about potty training and readiness. Since your daughter is just about to turn 3, I would imagine that she is showing signs of readiness by now and I would put her in pull-ups at naptime and bedtime and let her wear 100% cotton "big girl character" undies during the day until she stays dry throughout the night. Potty training can take some time and your child may have occasional accidents so be patient and positive with her.

Because kids are too busy playing they don't always think to stop what they are doing to go potty so to avoid accidents your daughter needs to be taken to the bathroom more often at first. Once she recognizes the feeling associated with needing to pee then she can run to the potty herself or ask you or your daycare provider for help. She'll need help with wiping too. You don't want her to withhold going because that can lead to bladder infections. If your daycare provider isn't understanding and sympathtic then just send her in pull-ups and work on the potty training at home and before you know it things will start to work themselves out. Some kids do better moving at their own pace instead of being pushed. Good Luck...you might have to try a few different suggestions before you find the one that works best for you and your daughter.

Hi M.,
My daughter just turned 3 last month and we conquered potty training a few months ago. AND, I went through this. SO: 1. Just keep telling her, "You HAVE TO tell Ms.___ when you have to go potty. -OK-" Of course she will say "OK" but also give her the benefit of the doubt.
2. Yes, she is ready. Not ready is sometimes confused with stubbornness! With my daughter, she was stubborn! I had to put my daughter in time-out before she completely complied. I only had to put her there once, but then she knew to go on the potty and tell mommy, daycare, etc.
3. Tell them to stop! I know this is harder said than done and you probably don't want to rock the boat, but you need to. Especially if they are getting upset about it. If your little one is anything like my little "self-proclaimed princess," she will know when she has to go. Tell the daycare to ask her if she has to go, when she says no, it means, "No, she doesn't have to go!" ask her again in about an hour or if she is showing signs of having to go. My daughter will go 4-5 hours at times without going, then there is times when she will go 2-3 times in 1-2 hours, but she goes On The Potty! When/If she has an accident, it will probably only happen once.
Let me know how it goes and Good luck!

Hi M.,
I also have a little girl who will be 3yo in November. I have been potty training her for several months and she is finally doing really well. I don't say this to discourage you, b/c some children potty train very quickly. My son who is now 7yo was completely potty trained by his 2nd bday. But my DD has quite a different peronality - very stubborn and attitude of a teenager!LOL We also moved to a new home in the midst of potty training and my mom has been in the hospital several times in recent months, so we had a few setbacks. My advice is just hang in there.
As for getting it to sink in to her to tell someone when she's got to go, just give her plenty of time. She will eventually begin to tell. Just praise and reward her for the times that she does tell you, and remind her constantly that she needs to let someone know. With a child, repetition is the key to learning. I worked in a daycare for 12 yrs., and a good child care giver should not be irritated at potty training a 2 yo child. That's part of the job! Not always fun, but every aspect should be done with love and patience. Children pick up on our tension and that can affect their willingness to cooperate. If she can go that long with only 2 accidents, she is probably ready. If you don't want to go back to diapers, then don't do it. I have used diapers at night/naps and when going shopping all day or on long trips, but other than that, We wash LOTS of undies all the time!! As for how to get your daycare to ease up, I would talk to the director if you can and explain that you have the feeling they are irritable about the training, and let them know that you just really need them to work with you on this issue. Either way, they are paid to do a job, and child care of a 2 yo involves potty training. They have no place to be anything but willing to work with you on this in the way you as the parent want it done. Encourage them to use a sticker chart, which should be a given in a daycare setting. Hopefully your daycare provider already uses those kinds of incentives.
I keep a potty chart on my fridge and my DD gets to put a sticker on it every time she pees or poops in the potty. She also gets a couple M&M's when she goes. We are starting to get away from the M&M's just b/c she doesn't mention it anymore. Now we are at the stage that she is staying dry all day, so we are giving her a quarter to put in her piggy bank at the end of the day if she stays dry til bedtime.
Something that I've had to deal with lately is that my DD will stay dry all day when we're out shopping, but wet as many as 3 - 5 times a day at home. As a Mom, we just have to learn when they know better and when they're still just getting the hang of feeling that urge to go and when they really can hold it. My DD is just learning to be able to hold it once she tells me she has to go. So just relax, take your time, don't rush it, she'll get there. And you can never praise her too much! My DD loved when we did our happy peepee dance!! LOL Even my 7 yo son joined in on the praise and celebration when she would go in the potty. There will be many bad days mixed in with the many good days. My DD still says at times that she does NOT have to go, sometimes as she is sitting on the potty peeing! LOL It's just stubborness with mine! The latest thing I've begun to do is pray every day that God would help her tell me and help her stay dry! B/C after a while it gets really frustrating! :) And I know He cares about the smallest details of my life!
Well, sorry this was so long. Good luck! And God Bless!
Prayers from an understanding Mom,
S.

I would almost bet that what you think is irritation is more like frustration. I've been at this 21 years. Typically, parents have a couple good days and all the sudden they want us to do regular underwear and risk getting pee all over our home. Also, on top of that, parents are often disgruntled with us because we are unable to produce the same great results they are getting at home. It's very natural for children to forget potty training at daycare where they have so many distractions. It's also very natural for kids to be shy about asking to go.

In answer to your other questions... They will start to ask or even just go on their own as soon as they are fully ready. A few good days does not mean that they are totally ready. It means they really want to be trained and you are close. But there are many obstacles that still need to be faced. They need to remember to stop playing to go. They need to be able to hold it when another child may be in the bathroom and that's going to happen often in a daycare situation. They also need to be able to hold it in cars and on the way to parks and walks etc. All these things make it hard.

As for how to communicate with the daycare, just be really understanding. Let them know you understand that their situation with several kids is way different than when you are home with your one potty training age child. Keep in mind that there may be a few children at that age in the daycare. I myself have 3 on days and 2 on nights that are at some point in the process. It's mentally exhausting to feel like we are letting people down if they don't all train in a couple of weeks! I only wish you knew how many people have came to interview with me about daycare through the years and told me one reason they were leaving is because their daycare provider was disappointing them over this issue! It's simply pressure we don't need.

Suzi

I've been potty-training for 20+ years, & every child has to be able to do this at their own pace. That said, one of the most effective tools for me has been an HOURLY trip to the bathroom. Even with babysitting four children each day (all different ages), this has worked because I have a toy drawer in the bathroom. The children take turns using the potty & playing with the toys. I recently had a child return to me after a 2 month absence, & the first time in the bathroom, he went straight to the toy drawer!
I use this method when first training. I never, ever ask if they have to go. We simply make our trek into the bathroom & everybody tries. After we have several weeks of success, then I begin asking & I also span out the visits to 2 hours. It is time-consuming, a real pain at times.......BUT it works. I have gone thru this with 4 different families in the past 3 years!
& the reason I don't ask in the beginning of training...is because toddlers thrive on power struggles. I simply remove this opportunity. Potty-training is established as part of our daily schedule, & once the potty-process is second-nature, then the right to choose is given back. Good Luck!

Good Morning M., I think your little girl is right on target. All children are different, ( Thank you Lord ) some catch on quickly others just need more positive encouragement. I care for our 2 youngest gr son's daily and I don't think taking a child to potty every couple of hours is excessive. I take or send our 3 yo gr son at least every hour, and he will alwasys tell me Not Now Nana, don't have to pp....lol But he always does. When I ask if he needs to go poop he says Not today Nana, maybe later ;)

Maybe use some bribery to get her to tell her daycare provider when she needs to go, if she feels it. Get her a sticker book and some cute stickers. When she goes pp at day care and she tells the provider she gets to put stickers in her book. Some children just do not always feel the urge to go either. When Corbin says he doesn't need to go I tell him lets go try anyway and he is usually surprised when he goes.
I still use pull ups at nap time. He has been getting up dry most days, just do not want an accident on our bed. ;) Not good on a body shaping foam bed (Tempra pedic)..lol Especially when he naps on papa's side :)

Anyway talk to your provider and find out if she is just to over whelmed to help with the potty training. How many kids in her care does she have? Every 2 hrs in definitely not excessive in my mind.

Good Luck and keep in touch
K. Nana of 5

Sounds to me like she is ready, so don't give up and put her back in diapers. Just keep doing what you're doing and let day-care do what they do. Your daughter will have to get used to using the potty in different settings. Eventually, she'll adjust. Kids are very flexible!

She definitely sounds ready!

And it isn't a big deal for the daycare providers to have her sit on the potty every two hours. If she's having accidents, they may need to ask her more frequently. That is THEIR JOB! Don't feel bad about it.

I completely disagree with one of the previous responses. When I worked with 2 year olds, most of the time I had to push the parents into trying underwear. Accidents were the least of my concern-they are part of the potty training process. Any provider who is concerned about potty training because a child may pee "in their home" shouldn't be caring for children...that's a big huge red flag to me.

I also am going through this at the moment only I don't have to worry about the daycare. My daughter also has good and bad days. Somedays we have no accidents at all and then the next day it is like she doesn't even care and we go through several pairs of pants. Sometimes when I ask her if she needs to go, she will say no and then a minute or two later I will find her in the bathroom. I think she just needs that reminder sometimes. We have also had problems outside of home. Mostly at church. My daughter is very shy and personally, I think that potty training is as much of a social learning process as it is physical. At home she can just go but at church, even though she knows her teacher really well, she is not comfortable yet with that aspect of the process. Potty training is a process that takes a lot of time. I have heard about the potty training in 3 days thing and I honestly don't know how it could possibly work, especially with an older child. Be patient with her. Frustration does not help the process. If you daycare is not supportive, then maybe this isn't the right provider for your family. This is a process that everyone who has kids has to go through and your provider should be understanding and helpful. DO NOT go back to diapers.

Hi, M. I have read some of the other replies and agree with most. I have done daycare for over 20 years and my experience with potty training:
1. I don't ask child "Do you want to go potty?". I say "Let's TRY to go potty." Don't ask a child a question if you don't want a "No" answer. This applies to lots of everyday things!
2. I am not a huge advocate of 'Pull-ups'. the child doesn't feel the wetness and They are grossly overpriced. For outings and sleeping they are fine. My kiddos wear diapers until we are mastering the potty several times a day. The diapers refasten. Also, encouraging the child to doing a good job on the potty and staying dry in the diaper, they will get to wear big kid pants like 'Joey' does.
3. I also take beginners to the potty every 15-30 minutes. That is part of MY JOB! I also have a few books in the bathroom to encourage longer sitting. Kids don't want to miss play time, so, this way they are 'reading' while they are doing their business.
4. We, myself and the other kids, also give lots of praise when they are successful. And give credit for "trying". With maybe, "Thank You Joey for trying".
5. I definately want the parents trying at home so, it is a joint effort. Some days are good and others are not. Don't we all have those days?
I have 6-8 kids in my daycare ranging from 0-6yrs with the majority being the potty training age. This is what I have practiced over all my years of training.They are all potty trained before 3 yrs if I have had them before 2 years of age.
Be consistent and smile. This too will be mastered. After all when we start a new job we don't master it in the first week either. Slip-ups happen. Good Luck!!

M.,
I think it's just where she feels comfortable to ask or just go on her own. I watch my best friends daughter, Dakota, who will be three next week. When she is at home she goes all on her own. When she is with me I have to ask her every one to two hours. Her mother and I have both told her that when she's here she just needs to go not to wait for me to ask, but she still waits for me to ask. I think your daughter is ready. As far as the daycare, if your daughter was going there before she started potty training then they made the decision to help you with the potty training. They need to be more understanding toward your daughter. You should sit down with the provider and talk about it and come up with a plan together. Then together talk to your daughter. Good luck.

that is surprising that she didn't have a potty routine at daycare already. I have worked at a few different daycares and they usually start introducing potty training at age 2-2 1/2. They take them all at the same time and have a schedule with potty times and a lot of time it's before breakfast and lunch because they are going to wash their hands anyway before they eat so they have potty breaks at that time as well and then another one after they wake up from their naps. The kids that need to go in between those times and are potty trained well will either tell the teacher they need to go or just go to the bathroom on their own when they need to.

Your daycare provider should not be getting irritated at having to take your daughter every 2 hours. I worked at a daycare where I got the 2-3 year olds when they went into underwear, and when I'd get a new one my whole class would be in the bathroom every 15-30 minutes until they started to get it. It is just something you deal with when you work with children, and if your daycare is not supportive it may not be the right place for you and your daughter. It sounds to me like you are doing well with the potty training. Good luck!

You could try making it so she doesn't have to tell anyone when she needs to go. Give her the power. Make sure she has a stepstool at home so she can get on the potty herself. Then see if the daycare has a lower toilet or stepstool she could use. That way it is up to her to go. I think it is hard to know so far in advance that you have to go, then for them to process what to do next, find someone, wait for them to take them to the potty and then finally get to go.

Good luck.