Potty Training Advice - Brewer,ME

There are 3 things you can't force on a kid - eating, sleeping and potty training! You are right, he is very young to be mastering this technique - his brain may not be getting the signal from his bladder/colon that he needs to pee or poop. you can't force it - it may well be out of his control. It is amazing that he is so interested but please don't force it. I know it is more convenient if he can use the potty but you have to let him get there on his own. He is asking to use the potty after he poops because he doesn't know ahead of time that he needs to. My son was 4 before he was reliably trained and I tried not to force my frustration on him. Just wait it out!

With my son we put cheerios (or ripped up bits of toilet paper) in the toilet and asked him to see if he could aim his pee at said items. It was a game, and it worked. I also got tired of the whole potty chair scene, so we bought the potty seat insert you can place on a regular toilet - it worked well. Good luck and don't stress - he will get it soon.

Dear J., My 2 boys are 6 and almost 9 now, and needless to say they all eventually do it. If I remember correctly they started training around 3 but weren't great until almost 4 years old! I started showing them how to aim at paper floating in the toilet like a game, got the book once upon a potty, and rewarded them with prizes when they peed or pooped sucessfully- toy or something, and then a star on the fridge to be added up at the end of the week to get a little toy, or candy.

I have since switched to cloth diapers( way easier than the old days and love em') and read cloth diapered kids train WAY faster than disposables. Just don't use the fleece lined, terry lined ones- they are drier than ever and they still won't feel wet! How about the padded underpants, a little more warning time to run to the toilet. You won't have to dump too many poops before the child wants to use the potty-just get rid of the disposables hecan comfortably go in and not feel wet. Also he's still kind of young for a boy. When they're ready they will do it. When they're not....well they're boys! :)

Dear J.,
Listen, Don't fret over this potty training stuff! Everyone( including myself at one point), is always worried their kid is never going to be able to attend Kindergarden because they won't use the potty before they're 4!! Really, it's ok. When He is ready, he will let you know. You have a hard enouph time right now trying to get everything situated for you and your son! Actaully, kids do tend to pick up on your stresses, so mabey if you relaxe about it, then he will to. It's really not a horrible thing if he's not potty trained at 2. He will be potty trained, believe me. But right now, with everyone being so busy and all, might not be the best time for him if you know what I mean. Just give him some time, every kid is different. Hang in there, and it will happen when you don't expect it! Take care!

Kris

( Navy wife/Mom of two Boys 4 and 2 1/2)

Your son is doing great being just 2. I would continue to encourage him and he will come around when he's ready. Maybe you could make a potty book for him and put a sticker in it everytime he uses the potty or make a potty chart and hang it in the bathroom and put stickers on that when he uses the potty. You could also give him an extra incentive if you want and give him a reward once he gets a certain amount of stickers. Enjoy. : )

I'm a firm believer in waiting till a child is ready to potty train. Only you will know when the time is appropriate. When it is, you can try this: Tell your son that the diapers you have at home are it. In other words, you are not buying any more. Bring him to the store to buy him big boy underpants(his choice)and let him know that these are what he is going to use once those diapers are gone. Be firm! Tell him big boys pee and poop in the potty. When the diapers are gone, start putting on the big boy underpants and let him go! He probably will have accidents, but that is ok, as it won't be comfortable and he will learn that it is better to go in the potty. I would plan this on the weekend, or a block of a couple days where it isn't a big deal to do laundry or clean up accidents. Make sure he gets lots of praise when he masters the "big boy underwear"(you could even let him pick a special toy or go to a special place for doing so well!)

Well I am not sure on the theory of boys train slower than girls, because I have all boys, and the 3 girls I knew potty training, trained much later than my boys. With that being said, I say chill out for a bit. The boys were all about 1 month prior to turning 3. For the first boy, it took 3 days for day training, night about 1 month, I probably could have trained him much earlier, but who knew. With our second I started the same time, about 1 month before turning 3, he is mich more stubborn, it took him 1 week. For boy #3, I tried earlier about 2 months before turning 3, it did not go over well at all, so I stopped, tried again a few weeks later, had to stop again, then about 3 weeks before turning 3, he did it, took about 2-4 days. Now, we always did training on long weekends, and tried not to really go anywhere and just get it done. Once we began training there was no option of diapers around, and we only did pull ups at night time for anywhere of 1 month-3 months depending on the child. Good Luck!

Try switching to cloth diapers. Kids hate how they feel when they're wet. Also keep him naked as much as you can. And also also keep in mind that he is actually doing very well for his age. Also also also... get him interested in an aiming game for peeing. Draw a picture of a bull's eye or something. don't ask "do you want to/have to pee?" Ask "Can you pee?". They never want to but sometimes they can.

Good luck!

Put the diapers away and tell him since he turned two he is now a big boy and ready for big boy pants. Use cloth training pants since they do not keep the wetness away like the pull ups do, he will fee very uncomfortable when they are soiled. Yes, it is a real inconvenience for both you and your care taker but you have to be consistent while training. Praise him up and even reward him when he does go in the potty.
Good Luck

Hi-
I am not sure I can provide that much insight on the whole potty training topic. I find it a bit stessful. I have a 2 1/2 year-old son who has barely shown interest in the potty since I bought him one right around the time he turned 2. At the beginning he showed interest and actually went in the potty several times but recently he has completely lost interest and now sees it has a torture chair! He goes to daycare and am told that he uses it there often most often when he sees the other "big" boys using it too. At home he shuns the seat and it can be a fight to get him to use it. So I have decided to wait until he is interested and as they all say each child will come around when he/she is ready. I do not feel that I have to force him to use it just because he will be three is 6 months I think that as long as the conversation about it continues to be held that maybe when he is ready he will show me that he is serious about it. Until then I am going to cross my fingers and wait (unless his pediatrician starts yelling at me!). On another note, you could try using some tactics like the good ole cheerios in the toilet bowl or stickers or a small gift after he goes. I have not yet tried that but may have to eventually. Thanks and good luck.

I would like to hear what others have to say too!

I am a mom of 2, my kids are 3 yr old girl and 5 yr old boy.
The old adage of girls being easier to train than boys was not quite accurate in my home. My daughter resisted the potty until she decided she was ready.

There are books themed on "No More Diapers" on the market--and at the library. These type of books worked for my daughter to help her on her way. Also, to get around the diaper/pull-up issue, I bought lots and lots of underwear...I put my daughter in 3 pair of underwear at the same time so that if she had an accident, there would not be such a big mess. When she had an accident we talked about where the pee pee and poo poo should go...in the potty. Also, we are adamant about taking her every 1 1/2 to 2 hours to make sure there is no accident.

I applaud your dedication and wish you the best on your journey of potty training.

You know what I learned. When they are ready they are ready but I also learned that cold turkey works pretty well. One day I just said, OK today is the day that you are no longer wearing pull ups, here are your underwear. Worked great. Never had issues with wetting at night or anything but ever child is different.

J.,
As much as I didn't like it the only way I could potty train my two oldest sons was to let them be nakid from the waist down. It is not always the most comfortable thing for others but it works. Just as an aside...I put Cherieos in the toilet and told them to sink them! Worked wonders

My first baby (also a son) was a difficult one to potty train. The others were much easier. I think one of the main reasons he was so difficult is because I was so anxious about getting it done and also getting a lot of pressure from my parents about his not being trained yet. Your son is doing quite well for his age and I think if you just relax and continue to encourage him as you have been, he'll be trained fairly easily. Reward him each time he is successful and give lots of positive encouragement. You're doing fine.

I think your son is doing great if he is doing that at 2 years old. He is very young, so I would let him do this for awhile with no pressure and let him know that the underwear is there when he's ready. Give him a reward as soon as he goes on the potty like a sticker or lollipop.
Every child is different, but my son didn't have any interest till he was 3 1/2 and it was very difficult to even get him to sit on the potty. I had to go cold turkey when he was finally ready with underwear all the time and give him rewards and a daily schedule chart so he knew when he was going to go to the potty. Sounds like your son will be much easier, just let him lead the way a little.

Hi J.;

Boys are definitely slower than girls. My son is three and has JUST started potty training. Don't rush it and don't worry, it will all come with time!

Hi,

My name is J. B., I also have a two year old son. He turned two on Oct. 31st. My son is almost at the same stage as your son, he will pee and poop on the potty but only occassionaly. He is wearing pullups, I started him in pullups when he started walking for both the convience and independence factor. What I did with my daughter (and the other children I trained when I did home daycare) was to let them choose in the morning if they want their pull up or underwear on. It was their choice until the summer time when I could let them run around in underwear or half naked. But for the colder months I gave them the control over which they wanted to wear. But no matter what they were wearing every couple of hours I would just grap a book of stickers and their sticker book (just a couple of pieces of paper stapled together with their name on it) and tell them lets go sit on the potty and put some stickers in your book. Usually if I caught them when they were not that involved with something they just came, because I didn't pose it as a question it was just a statement. Now I have only potty trained girls before, so I am doing this with my son and so far he is doing pretty good. He is more stubborn so he won't always follow me to the potty, but I don't want to give up on it completely because just the exposure to sitting on the potty a couple of times a day will help when we go cold turkey in the summer.

I would love to hear how things are going on your end. Our family doctor keeps warning me that boys take longer to potty train. but I am hoping we will tackle this before the end of the summer or even sooner.

J.

It is fabulous that he is showing the interest that he is - but don't push it! He is very young yet, & however tempting it may be to move him along, let him choose his own pace. It really is a waiting game, he'll take steps forward & then back again, but he'll get there. Don't let anyone pressurise you or him, & there will be lots who will try - he'll pick up on it if you try to push. I promise, he won't be in training pants when he starts school!!!

he's still very young .. boys train later.. what about letting him run around in training underwear and a long tshirt?? sticker charts?? incentives work great..

Hi J. - Have you tried just having the potty hang around in the bathroom?? He will get used to it and not so intimidated. A kid-sized potty is also essential, if you don't already have one. Lastly - targets and rewards! Put targets in the bottom and when he hits them, he gets his reward... (Could be stars on a chart - they LOVE that! - with a reward for a certain (low) number. Could be small candies, whatever works.

Although my daughter is 10, I've used star charts for many things... She and I go to the store and she picks out the "star" - in his case, it might be cars or dinosaurs - or - stars! If he's a part of it, it means all that more.

That's all I can think of. Good luck. PS - I firmly believe the first step is to back off and just leave the potty in his sight in the bathroom though.

Hi J.
As you say i think you need to chill out. My daughter got her self really stressed about my granddaughters potty training. She was doing every thing you say your son is and it really stressed my daughter. in the end she used to sit her on her potty after meals and at night before bed. and in between times she would sit her on the potty before putting on clean nappy. Eventually Katie got the idea what the potty was for and she started using it her self I think because my daughter stopped stressing it made Katie more relaxed. Hope this helps and goo luck with the potty training

I actually think you're doing alright! I do recommend a potty training book that my son just fell in love with. It's Dr. Sears, so it's a bit touchy-feely, but my son just kinda potty-trained himself because this book was floating around in his head. http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0316788880/ref=cm_rdp_pr...
Other than that, do not switch to pull-ups as they make it way too comfortable to do your business in there!
When I thought my son was really ready, I introduced a sticker "chart" and some "prizes" from the dollar section at target. He was trained within days. And, rally, I did not do much.
I also recommend having a little potty in the car for jst-in-case scenarios, although perhaps b/c of winter you're not out and about as much. We used the little Bjorn one and just used it at the park or once in a parking lot in the car's front seat.
Maybe TMI, but that's my two cents!

J., after having trained two boys (one in 9 days and the other in 7), I found that what worked bet for us was complete consistency. I know that you said you & "Grammie" have busy lives so having your son run around in his underwear is not an option. Everyone is different with potty training, each child, each parent but consistency seems to work across the board. When we decided it was time to potty train, we were committed. If our boys were going to take the time to learn something new, we needed to take the time to teach them. I know I had the benefit of being a stay at home mom but we went cold turkey with the diapers. One day they were just gone and the underpants went on. Ones that they had chosen at the store and we explained to them that there were no more diapers during the daytime, only big boy underwear. I never used pull ups as I personally felt it was an extension of a diaper. For the first day I brought them into the bathroom, sat them on the toilet (the regular one mind you, we never had a little one)every 10 minutes (I would set the kitchen timer). Second day, every 20, third day every 1/2 hour, 4th day every 40 minutes. By day 5 we were able to leave the house, by day 7 there were no accidents with Connor, day 9 with Michael. I never "asked" them if they had to go as you are saying you do with your son, I simply said "It's time to try to go potty". My children were also closer to 3. Connor was 32 months, Michael was right at 36 months so they were ready. I never used any kind of candy, treat, etc. to brib them to go on the potty. I did the "Potty Dance" and to this day, the two of them are the only ones that have seen it. Sometimes I think they'd say they had to go just to see the dance! LOL. Best of luck to you.

HI J.,
This sounds like my son. He would hide when he should have been using the potty. We battled for a bit and then I decided to give him the lead. I let him poop in his diaper, but I told him he had to stand in the bathroom to do it. He finally turned the corner on his own when he was ready, which was after 3. I would say don't stress about it. As long as he doesn't need to be potty trained for preschool let him figure it out. He will.

Hi J.,
The problem with traditional disposable diapers is that children do not tend to feel wet when they pee because of the absorbant materials...they designed them in this way to prevent rashes. There are some natural brands out there that do not use the absorbants (Tushies, Naturebaby) and I also think there are some traditional brands that now make feel and learn diapers. My daughter went through the same stage during training, she is now 19 months and almost fully trained...we started her very early (10 mos) after reading about infant potty training. It's hard to beleive but some women are starting from BIRTH and acheiving amazing results! All of this of course takes tremendous committment and consistancy from the parent. With us sticker charts, tons of praise and patience, and constant reminders/visits to the potty (every hour) did wonders. I also let her run around half naked for much of the day at home until she really started getting the hang of it. Pooping is a bit more difficult. I found that bringing a book or toy to the potty as soon as I thought she needed to go helped a lot. You will have accidents on the floor if you take the diapers away immediately, but it seems to register with them a lot faster. Fortunately we only had maybe a handful of accidents all together and only one #2 accident on the floor. Just don't make a big deal about it and calmly sit him on the potty and remind him to go there and he will learn in no time. Good luck! Oh...and definately get a little potty to travel with for emergencies!

Try offering a small treat after using the potty (like a few m&ms or a dum-dum pop). This was a major motivator for my son and it made potty training very easy.

You go girlfriend with your efforts.
This is one of his first control issues that he has encountered. It is great that all caregivers are working together. I know it is really hard to let him have the control but he will realize that a full diaper is a uncomfortable diaper eventually.
I know cause I taught daycare kids with the same issue.
The best way for you to encourage his peeing is by making it a game and dropping cereal (anything that floats!) into the toilet and have him try to hit it with his urine. Turn on the water in the sink too. This helps the flow. Remember, what is gross to us adults can really be fun. Only do this at one pee time until he wants to do more games.

As far as the poops! You just need to time it to know what time of day he goes and put him on the little potty and you sit (as a model) on the big potty. Bring books or toys, while running the water. A distraction is very successful for young ones.

Do only the poop thing if he acknowleges the fact of pooping in his diaper. Usually, they tend to hide and ignore all questions about it

Good luck,
G.

I'm a fifty something mom of four and a midwife. I raised three boys, all now grown and have a six year old daughter.

Yes, girls are easier than boys. But your son's behavior is completely normal. If he uses the potty when his bottom is uncovered the solution is to put up with an uncovered bottom for a week or so. It sounds like a long time, but its not, and he sounds like a bright little guy, I bet it wont take him long to figure out that the potty is a lot nicer than poopy diapers. A week with a bare bum and your potty training might be over! G'luck.

I would say stop putting your son in diapers.
If he can go when you want him to when he's naked, then leave him naked.
If he wets his undies, tell him he forgot to tell you he needed to go potty. & don't make a big deal out of it but have him help you get new clothes and cleaned up.
Also do NOT ask if he needs to go, you will have to TELL him it potty time, thats a biggie.

J., I have a 2 year old girl and she is going through the same exact thing. For us I think the best thing to do is to just give her praise everytime she goes in the potty and to not be negative when she goes in her pull-ups. I always tell her we will try next time to go on the potty. I feel letting them go in their own time they will get the hang of it and use the potty all of the time that much faster without all the pressure we put on them to use the potty. Because then it just turns into a power struggle(in their eyes).

We have a Dora potty chart hanging on the wall in the bathroom so she can see her progress and "special" stickers. When she fills up a whole row with stickers she gets a special treat. Depending on what I have I usually give her a few M & M's or a Hershey's Kiss or a bigger sticker (which she loves). She is progressing so much more every day. Just last night she said she had to go potty 2 times and I didnt even have to ask her if she had to go. This lets me know I'm doing a pretty good job of helping her potty train. Basically you just do what you think is right and what works best for you and your son. He'll get the hang of it before you know it. Hang in there and good luck. I hope this helped you a little.

~R.~

I would also recommend letting it go for now. I tried to potty train my son at 2, and he did the same kind of thing. Nothing worked - sticker charts, prizes, etc. - he just didn't care. He did finally potty train just before his 3rd birthday. One day I felt he was ready and it was time. The prize that worked was a special snack, like cherries or fruit snacks.
It is still pretty early for your son. Let it go for now for your own sanity, I say. Try again closer to 3. In fact, my son is 4, and we still use pull ups at night, because it makes him feel better and lets me sleep easier.