Potty Training at Night

Updated on March 18, 2008
E.F. asks from Crystal Lake, IL
24 answers

Hello. I have 4 year old son who has been completely potty trained during the day since he was 3. At night he must wear a diaper or pull up and rarely wakes up dry. Most nights we wake him once and the dry diaper is hit or miss. He doesn't mind wearing the diaper at night and doesn't seem to be motivated to become potty trained at night. We've tried incentives and limiting liquids to before 6pm. He goes to bed at 8pm. Does anyone have any advice? Has something worked for you?

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J.G.

answers from Springfield on

My son potty-trained in the daytime with no problems. Nights were awful! For over a year he would wet the bed ... some nights were dry and others were wet. In all honesty, we tried everything. We did not do pullups or diapers, however. We had a liner between sheet layers and pulled off the top layer when he was wet, changed him and put him back to bed. Eventually, he just stopped wetting the bed on his own. I don't know if this helps other than to say that some boys just need time to get used to it. I've heard many moms of boys say this ...

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M.G.

answers from Chicago on

I am not a dr. or an expert, but I have a 3.5 year old and a 1 year old. The old school way to potty train at night is to just take away the diaper. He may have one accident, but usually they don't want a wet bed and they just learn not to. Get a rubber sheet for the first accident. Just a thought. It worked for us, but all kids are different.

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N.M.

answers from Chicago on

Hi E., I am a mother of 3 children. 12 yr boy, 8 yr old boy, 3 yr old daughter. My husband and I were both bed wetters as children and were told it was heredatary (sorry I dont know if I spelled that right) and that the bladder is not fully developed to hold urine that long, but will become stronger as they grow older. Only a small percentage last till the teen years. It took my older son till he was 10 and my middle son is still a bedwetter. On the other hand, my 3 year old daughter, whom I still put a pull up on at night just in case, will wake up 99% of the time dry.
Just be thankful in today world that they invented pull-ups. They never had anything like that when I was a child and it was hard because I could never spend the night at my friends houses. Now my children live a normal life, even spending the night at friends houses and nobody knows they are and where bedwetters. (I would put a plastic bag in thier overnight bag for the morning and they would go into the bathroom and change)
Just be patient, its not thier fault.

Good luck, N.

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S.T.

answers from Decatur on

I have a daughter who at the age of 10 still has night-time accidents. When she was younger, we thought she was not trying to stay dry. I asked several pediatricians, not just my own, and they all told me it was a potty training issue.
WELL, I am here to tell you those doctors were all wrong. I continued to question, blame her, do "all the right things" and she was our third child. I began to feel really frustrated!
She ended up with and infection, so I took her to a pediatric urologist, and sure enough there was a physical problem. He also suggested leaving her alone to grow and develop without critisim. She is an incredibly sound sleeper, too. We would wake her several times a night, only to find it was not working, but she sure was cranky.
My advise, make sure there is no physical issue, then leave it alone for a while. Pull-ups are cheeper that therapy later.

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D.N.

answers from Chicago on

First, boys have a greater tendancy to be bedwetters. My son was such a sound sleeper that he would not wake up at all at night and would wet his bed. Now he is going to be 9 and only occasionally wets. This is usually because he wakes up but his body seems to signal that "gotta go" feeling and he just makes it to the bathroom-only having to change his underpants. The doc was not worried about it at all because boys do tend to be the wetters. It never seems to matter if he does not get anything to drink before bed and it is more control then something that an incentive would work for. Though I am not saying you should not reward him.

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A.P.

answers from San Francisco on

My daughter is 4 and she also wears pull-ups to bed even being fully trained at 3. Sometimes she's completely dry in the morning. Most of the time, she's not. She doesn't drink any liquids past 8 p.m. and uses the toilet before bed. Our pediatrician wasn't concerned. She said that it's a biological development and if my daughter stays dry for about a week or so, then she's ready to go to bed without a pull-up. There will still be accidents, of course, but they should diminish over time.

It's a relief to know that others are going through this!

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M.R.

answers from Rockford on

Hi. My son turned 4 in November. He's been potty trained during the day since around his 3rd birthday. He's had several times where he's gone 2-3 weeks dry at night and then a week where he has several accidents. It's back and forth with him. The first time that he went a long stretch without having any accidents, I told him that if he was dry in the morning he would get a sticker, and after he had 7 stickers (a week of being dry) then he would get a special surprise. That has worked for me several times but he still keeps having several accidents as well. So I'm in the same boat. It's definitely frustrating, good luck!

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M.F.

answers from Decatur on

My son turned 5 in January and we still go with pullups every night. If he wakes up with a dry pullup, we make a big deal of it, but those mornings are few and far between. We do not make him feel bad about the days that he is wet. I have not tried sending him to bed without a pullup because if he falls asleep for a nap (no pullups at nap), more often then not, he wakes up wet. It has been getting better with naps so I am hopeful that it will eventually get that way with bedtime too. I work midnights so waking him in the middle of the night is not an option for me. I might try it this summer when I am off for maternity leave.

Sorry I don't have any good advice. Just wanted you to know that you are not the only one with this issue. Good luck.

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C.D.

answers from Chicago on

I have the same issue, expect my son just turned 5 2 months ago. He has never woken up with a diaper that is not full to the brim. Anyway, our pediatrician told me it isn't considered a developmental delay until they are 7. Their bodies have until then to develop that urge to feel the need to go at night. So, I am trying to wait patiently. My only advice that I have heard from others is for you to get up and take him to the bathroom a few times at night. I won't do that yet because I am too tired to do it, but after a few weeks they will supposedly get up and go themselves at those times because their bodies are trained to go at that time. Another thing my cousin did use was those alarm things. Her son was 7, so she was desperate for a non medication route. It worked for her. Anyway, I am not pushing that point yet, but I feel your worry.

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W.B.

answers from Chicago on

I had a similar scenario with my 4-year-old daughter. I finally just mentioned that I didn't think most of the kids in her class wore diapers at night and maybe she should try it. I bought a super-thin, waterproof pad (cotton/flannel) at BabiesRUs that we use underneath her at night. She peed twice the first night (a mess, but not too terrible with the pad) and has only had maybe two accidents after that. Maybe she was ready or maybe not. She managed it better than I expected and your guy may too. She has even started sleeping through the night without getting up and it's only been about 2 months, I think.

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K.B.

answers from Chicago on

I haven't gotten to the night-time potty training yet, as my son has still not decided to be potty-trained during the day either. He is 3 and 3 months, and we have tried EVERYTHING. We know he can do it and knows when he has to go potty, but he just doesn't care to go on the toilet yet. I've quit pushing him, and occasionally he shows some interest, so I'm not going to worry about it for a few months.

I do have info. about myself and nighttime potty training though! :o) My mom used to tell me that I wore a diaper at night for a long time. I would even put it on myself! She continued to ask me "when are you going to stop wearing diapers at night?", and my response was always "when I'm 5, Mommy". Almost on the day of my 5th birthday, I decided to quit wearing diapers at night. He might just need to decide to do it one of these days. :o) I thought I'd share, so you had one more idea to ponder. I'm hanging on to every hope that that's the case with my son!!!

Good luck!

Blessings,
K. B

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C.

answers from Chicago on

I work at night a couple days a week and when we were potty training my son my husband forgot to put a pull-up on him at night and sure enough he madeit through the night and went potty as soon as he woke up. It was like he realized that "safety net" wasn't there so he knew he couldn't go potty in his big boy underwear. It has now been 2 years since my son has been potty trained and we are lucky enough to have one had one accident!

So, we did the same thing with my daughter. We had planned to put her to bed without a pull-up after knowing that she had mastered the potty during the day. Believe it or not my husband forgot once again to put on the pull-up and once again it worked like a charm. She has been potty trained almost 2 years (my kids are only 11mos apart) and she has never had an accident!

My fried was having the same problem as you with her daughter - pull-up full to the brim in the morning. I told her my stories and she decided to try putting her to bed in big girl underwear. The first night she had a small accident, she woke up and yelled for mommy but not soon enought and she let out a little amount but then got to the potty to finish. The next night she made it through to morning - another success!

You might want to give it a try - it seems to work.

K.L.

answers from Chicago on

A couple of ideas: #1 Try cloth training pants. The problem with the disposable pull ups is that they are sooo absorbent that kids don't mind being wet. With cloth, he will feel the wet and that might wake/motivate him. #2 Start this on a Thursday so you aren't exhausted--set an alarm and go in every 2-4 hrs and wake him up and make him sit on the potty. Perhaps a few nights of this will get him in the habit of waking to pee? Here's a link to some cloth training pants:
** http://www.kidbean.com/0705803.html
** http://www.punkinbutt.com/index.php?cPath=61249_61357&amp...
** http://www.betterforbabies.com/training_pants_little_beet...
Hope that helps!

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G.P.

answers from Chicago on

Hello- My son is 3 going on 4 at the end of May. He has been potty trained his entire threes. Once it was time to stop the pull-ups. We just stopped, there were accidents and it can be a lot of work to change and clean the sheets everyday...but for us worth it. We did end up noticing a pattern with him, if we let him have any soda...which in it's self is rare...he was more likely to have an over night accident. So no soda sips at all... no full glasses of anything shortly before bed, maybe a sip or two of milk or water and to the potty right before bed. Try letting your son sleep in his underpants and jammies. Maybe a few night of this and the accidents will lessen and perhaps eventually stop. Thank goodness for plastic mattress covers and clorox wipes. Good luck!!!G.

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T.C.

answers from Chicago on

I had similar trouble with my daughter who is now 8 years old. She was completely potty trained during the day but would wear a pull up at night and there was absolutely no end in sight. After months of going through a similar routine we realized that she was not motivated at all to stop wearing the pull-ups. One day I noticeed that she was wetting the pull up minutes after sitting on the potty and that was the last time I put one on her. We bought extra sheets and mattress pads and gave it a try. It only took 2 accidents and she was completely potty trained. After the first night she never asked for a pull up again. It was unbelievable how fast it was - I was still waking her during the night to see if she had to go - but otherwise it was pretty easy.

Hope this helps! Good luck!!

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R.L.

answers from Springfield on

E.-

Every child is different, and though I have a girl, I can honestly say I have known several moms with boys who wore pullups until 6-8 years old because of nighttime wetting. If your pediatrician has ruled out anything physiologically wrong, then he just needs acceptance and time for his bladder to mature, with you helping things along by restricting evening fluid intake and maybe waking him to pee once before you yourself go to bed. If you wake in the middle of the night to go pee, take him too.

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G.H.

answers from Chicago on

You're doing the right thing by getting him up during the night to potty and no liquids after 6. Remember that fruit, lettuce and other such things have a hight water content so that isn't good between 6-8p.m. either. A slice of cheese or cracker shack would be a better choice. Don't forget that boys are harder to train than girls. Hang in there mommy. You're doing fine.

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L.S.

answers from Chicago on

My son was potty trained at 3 and he wet the bed occasionally till he was about 12. My husband's brother was a bed wetter and so I guess it is just hereditary. Whatever you do, don't make him feel bad about it, lots of boys have a difficult time with this issue. My son was so embarrased, it was difficult to have friends sleep over or for him to go to a friend's house. I would always remind him to not drink fluids at night and go before going to bed. He never did have an embarrasing accident at a friend's house. Just don't make him feel bad, it's normal for many boys.

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L.Z.

answers from Chicago on

I would keep him in pull ups until he is dry for at least a week. My daughter was not dry at night until she was 6. We tried restricting liquids, waking her up to go etc. A good friend said each child is different and when he is ready physically, he will stay dry. We felt it was better for everyone to get a good night sleep until we knew that a dry evening would occur routinely.
You have got to be way too busy to deal with midnight bed changes.
Good luck and just buy pull ups.

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C.D.

answers from Chicago on

Pediatric urologist told me we potty train way too early in the United States. His little body isn't ready. He is a boy-- takes longer for them. Biologically, some kids don't develop the ability to stay dry at night until they are much older. Don't push it, don't worry. I think your little honey will be just fine!!

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D.P.

answers from Chicago on

E.,

I took my daughter out of training pants and diapers totally morning and night after we got the potty training issue down pat. For some reason or another, she automatically started holding it until morning. I think it is because she knew that she didn't have a diaper on. I am not saying we didn't have had our share of accidents though. It Happens! I covered her bed with a plastic matress sheet (K-mart, Wal-mart, or any bedding store) This protected the matress for when she did have accidents. I also gave her nothing to drink after 8:00 pm. I cut down on the drinking as evening came and always made her try to sit on the potty before bed. This worked very well for me. My girlfriend took another approach she left her son in training pants at night until she was able to tell her that he didn't want to wear them, which was anout 4 1/2. Her daughter who will soon be 6 is still wearing training pants at night. Different approaches work for different kids. I say take him/her out and after an accident or two it will probably stop. It is like the mind knows there is nothing there for protection, so it automatically has the body hold it. Best of Luck!

D.

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M.J.

answers from Chicago on

You're doing all that you can do. Take comfort, he will evenutally out grow it. He is probably just a very sound sleeper and isn't being woken by the sensation to go. He will out grow it. I wouldn't make a huge deal when he doesn't make it through the night. It will only make him feel bad about himself. Just praise him when he does make it and let nature run its course.

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

My son just turned 5 and he is in the same boat......Can't wait to hear some advice.

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S.K.

answers from Chicago on

One line that stands out to me that you wrote.....
He doesn't seem to mind wearing a diaper at night.

Children do not want to be wet and the diaper absorbs the wetness thus your son is comfortable while asleep and he has no care if he wakes up with that wet diaper. His sheets are dry and that's all that matters. I suggest you put a protective cover on his mattress and tell him that Mommy isn't buying pull ups or diapers for him anymore. When you train a child it should be done when he wakes up dry in the morning. That is when there is signs that his bladder is matured. Thus training begins! Both day time and night time training will be much easier because of this factor.

I never used the pull ups as I felt it was a crutch that delayed the process. With summer coming and his attending pre-school in September you will want to work on helping associate the sensation and before long he will in fact wake up dry and proud of himself. The twins are one year olds and they need the diapers tell him. Tell him he is your big boy and when you go on special outings alone with him you do not need to carry a diaper bag. I hope this helps.

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