Potty Training by 3 Year Old

mine is almost 2 1/2 and we're starting to talk a lot about potty training...with "some" actual results but not many! i have never potty trained a puppy before either! lol...but one thing i have to constantly tell my son (especially now that he's proven he has control over it...i actually watched him hold it in while on the potty for almost thirty minutes the other day. i had to distract him to get any to come out because as long as he was thinking about it, he held it in!) that he CAN play again as soon as he goes. it's like they can't bear to stop what they're doing! and in my son's case, he's just stuck in his ways and doesn't see any reason to change, especially when he'd have to abandon his precious trucks and trains. knowing (or guessing at) what is keeping them from wanting to do it helps a little...it's talking them into doing it anyway that is the tough part. good luck to both of us!

wear the under wear next the skin and diapers on the outside wet underwear does not feel good. mother of 5 boys 1 girl ages 28 to 10. worked for all my boys J.

Everyone has some really good advice on here, and I also think you are on the right track. :o) I don't have much advice that hasn't already been said, just a similar experience.
My son was the same as yours. It was about 3 years old when I got him potty trained. I had a week off of work for vacation, and I decided that I would go for it then. No diapers all week, except maybe bedtime. We went to the store and I hyped it up. I let him pick out his own underwear. He got Spiderman, and LOVED them! The first time he had an accident, he was devastated because he "ruined Spiderman." After that, he had no more accidents. Sometimes, it just works that way. I believe when they are ready, they'll just do it.
This sounds kinda silly, but I noticed you were a professional photographer. Odds are, your little one is used to being in front of the camera by now. Maybe make it special by taking a picture of him going potty (no crazy pictures or anything! hee hee) and post it on the fridge, showing how proud you are of him. I know my son was always saying "take a picture of me!" It might work to your advantage!
Good luck with everything and I hope all goes well in March :o)

Both my boy and girl were nearly 4 when they finally sucuumbed to learning. Here's what I learned. Pullups during the day time don't encourage the kids to go potty in the bathroom..only in their pants...therefore, only use pull ups at night (unless you really enjoy changing bedsheets at 3 am).

Sometimes, 3 isn't old enough...everyone learns at their own rate...go with the flow (sorry for the pun)

Peer pressure is GOOD. Both of my kids ended up learning because they HAD too. One because he was starting public pre-school, the other because she was being put in a day care setting to learn how BECAUSE she needed to go to preschool...sometimes you just need help in training them because they refuse to learn from us as parents.

Incentives help. Cheerios, M&Ms, marshmallows, or stickers for each time they go potty is good (if they like them). I did $1 store toys which didn't work out so good when he realized that once he was trained toys stopped and he didn't get them for the rest of his life just because he pottied in the toilet (oh the horrors of growing up) so I didn't repeat this with my daughter. I DID however, offer them both a big incentive (like a $30 value toy) as an ultimate prize for going 1 week w/o pottying in their pants. I believe my daughter got a doll and my son some kind of truck. This was a good thing...only just offer it and visit the toy in the store...don't buy and bring home and set on prominent place where they can see it daily...it backfires and they eventually ignore it because it becomes seen as something unattainable (for some strange reason).

Stay positive. Do pee pee dances and potty dances and give them all kinds of praise when they do it right. When he goes in his pants just say, "Aw that's too bad, maybe you can do it in the toilet next time." Don't belittle or get angry with him...it'll only delay it further and cause him to start holding it or continue in his pants.

Take him to go underwear shopping and let HIM pick his big boy pants. Buy LOTS and LOTS if you are going cold turkey and he's stubborn...my first days I was going through like 5 or 6 pair a day. DON'T give him underwear for his birthday...if it backfires then he will only resent his getting those on his birthday. Take him to the store the day after his birthday and let him pick them out instead. Make it sound so cool he REALLY REALLY wants to do it. Maybe even talk about what kinds of things he would want on his underwear (Thomas, Star Wars, Superheros, sports, colors, etc.)

Skip the chairs, I found that the kiddie seats that attach to the toilet actually worked best. They didn't move around if he was trying to sit down and didn't require them to have a step stool to actually reach the toilet. It attaches to your seat and goes between the seat and the lid for easy peasy access. Safety first used to make these...they've become harder to find in the last year but I'm sure someplace like BabiesRUs would still carry them. Use the removable toilet seats for when you travel...they'll be a godsend. The one's that fold down are a nice gimmick but they pinch their bottom's when they sit and most don't fit on the oblong toilets anyway.

Get daddy involved. My hubby was deployed when I first started training my son and it was darn near impossible. But once daddy was home it became cool and something desirable to do. Call it a manly thing, but it worked.

Oh, and keep the 7 mo old away from the toilet when big brother is going or he will get ideas about all the cool things he can put in the toilet and flush. This happened to my BFF and she's spent literally $1000 in plumber fees and even had to replace a whole toilet b/c a toy got stuck in the trap. Best of luck!

I have girls so I can't help a lot but I have heard that with boys, if you put something in the toilet for them to aim at, it makes it easier for them and you can kind of make a game out of it. It sounds to me like you are doing everything right. A lot of kids are not potty trained at 3 and it is becoming a trend to wait until then to even start the process (not that I agree with that) so don't be hard on yourself. I've discovered that there is usually a window of opportunity at about 18-24 months where they think going on the potty like a big person is fun. If you go through the process then, you can teach them early. If you miss that window, they aren't ready again until about 3. Try to make it a fun experience and push that big boy thing really hard. I am also kind of anti pull ups. At this age, they know the difference between a pull up and underwear and they know that a pull up is closer to a diaper. So stick with the underwear! Good luck!

That is what we did with my middle child and I suspect I will have to for my youngest. My oldest was a breese. I just used the last of the diapers and told her I wasn't buying anymore and that it was time to go in the toilet, just matter-of-factly. I was very nice and got her all new underware but I didn't act as if it was a treat because she new it wasn't. With my girls I have found that it often comes down to the fact that I have to be more stubborn then they are, but all kids are different. I brought it up with her daycare and preschool teachers. I didn't want to burden them with it and they were both supported me and were all ready for it. And that was it, we were done.

Currently we are potty training our 3 year old who will turn 4 in April. He is lacking in speech and is going to therapy for it now. We use "pants" (pull ups) on him and stopped buying diapers so there are none in the house to fall back on. Every hour I ask him if he needs to go, he always says no, but I take him in there and sit him on the potty. I give him the opportunity to say yes but kids will always forget to go on their own. First thing in the morning take him into the bathroom! Make this a morning ritual and keep consistent. We make sure to call his pull ups "pants" so he doesn't confuse them with diapers. If he has an accident I take him into the bathroom and explain to him that this is where he needs to go potty. I tell him I am disappointed in him and scold him for what he has done I make sure that he gets the point. When he goes potty I give him a high five and tell him he is a good boy. Do not opt into buying gifts or candy for him because he might think he will get that all the time, instead offer positive attention though a tootsie roll now and then doesn't hurt to up the ante.

I am about to begin potty training my 4th boy (who is 2 1/2). I'm going to wait until he is closer to 3, too, and when it gets warm and clothes are easier to get on/off. What has worked well for me is to do what you've said - make it fun (trying not to get too frustrated over all of the extra laundry and accidents!). When it's warm, I've even had us spend the day with only undies on, or bottomless. With one son, who had a particularly difficult time stopping what he was doing or realizing soon enough that he had to go potty, we spent much of the day in the kitchen (where the floor was easy to clean up), I gave him LOTS to drink, so that we had ample tries. We played with play dough, painted, etc in the kitchen, which is near our bathroom on the main floor. I've made charts for most of my boys - with them being in charge of it - they get to put a sticker every time they successfully go potty, and then so many stickers earns a reward. We've also progressed that to a sticker a day for staying dry (or with one child, for pooping on the potty), then so many dry days/so many stickers gets a reward. I don't give huge rewards - a candy bar, I think, or a small toy that they had wanted on shopping trip - we agreed when we made up the chart what the reward would be. For stubborn or disinterested kids, sometimes a cousin or friend who's a little older who can show him how cool it is to only wear underwear and how he goes potty and is done (rather than having to wear baby diapers and take all that time to have mom change my yucky diaper, ...), or even have Dad talk it up and invite your son in to the bathroom with him when he goes might work.
Good luck!

J.,

When you decide to start potty training, stay consistent. I took an entire weekend with my daughter who was harder than my boys. They begin to use their diaper or pull-ups as security. I decided one day no more pull-ups or diapers. I put her in panties after she got up in the morning and took her to the bathroom every 20-30 minutes whether she had to go or not. When she went on the potty I acted so excited and gave her a treat. When she had an accident I made her change her panties and clean up the mess. The first day was a little tough but I kept consistent and didn't get frustrated with her. I still put a pull up on her before bed of course. After the weekend was over she was pretty much potty trained. It made me wish I had done it a long time ago and never had used pull ups. She hated taking off her wet underwear and it made her learn to hold her wee wee longer. I eventually moved the time I took her from 30 minutes to every 45min-one hour. Just plan to not go anywhere for these three days because when you have to go somewhere the diaper or pull up has to go back on. It really did work. Good Luck--J. C

He's doing fine, and so are you. Pull-ups, fancy underwear, song and dance, candy, whatever . . . may help, may not, because what really makes the difference is whether he's ready. That means physically as well as mentally and emotionally.

The Terry Brazelton book on potty is really great. He emphasizes that kids are self-motivated, and the more invested you are, the less they own this important achievement for themselves. We don't do any rewards in our house, just a simple, "Good job," when they are getting better. My daughter really made much more progress when I stopped making a big deal out of her potty performance. I let her take the lead, deciding when to potty vs wear a diaper, when to move to the big toilet, when to use a pull-up instead of a tab diaper. I think most people make way too big of a deal out of this. It's a natural thing that every normal kid will learn, and most of the stuff parents do gets in the way more than it helps.

I let my son run around naked - when were at home. It's something about not having anything on that makes them more aware of having to potty. In the evening and weekends when we didn't have anywhere to go - he would just go around bottomless.

I wouldn't be too concerned if he's not even quite 3 yet. We got our son a "Peter Potty" - you can find it on the internet. It's a child sized urinal and he loved it. Another thing to do is do a weekend of no pants and that helps too -that way he'll go to the bathroom when he feels it. Pull ups didn't work for us - it didn't phase him when they got wet. Good luck.

I did what Makita did below...let them run around with no pants on (with a long shirt) and make it a point to not go anywhere that week. Really, sounds like a sacrifice, but it is well worth it. All three of my children were potty trained a little after they turned 2. If they asked for their diaper, I would simply put them on the potty. And 90% of the time, they'd go! Also, I always had at least 2 potties around the house so they were always visual to them. Once they would go on their own, I would gradually move the potty closer to the bathroom and soon enough, they were going on the toilet all the time. It took about a week with all three to get through it. Best of luck!

My son will be 2 1/2 tomorrow and we're doing the same thing. I have heard that once you start them in underwear full time, it doesn't take long, because they don't like the way wet feels. Those pull ups and diapers are so absorbent, that being wet isn't uncomfortable enough for them to be motivated to use the potty. My friends have said just plan on being close to home for a few days and keep changing him until he gets it.

This may not work for every child, but it worked great for my son and daughter and a friend's son...I got the idea from her.
Think of what your son's greatest interest is right now. Find a new toy or activity related to that interest and keep it in the bathroom. Explain that the toy is his new bathroom toy and that it can only be played with while/after he uses the toilet like he is supposed to. The toy can never leave the bathroom unless he has used the toilet. If he's sitting on the toilet, let him hold it or play with it and if he's standing to pee, then set the timer after he's finished and let him play with it (doesn't have to be in the bathroom if the timer is set) until the timer goes off (I always set it for 10-15 minutes). That time of playing with the special toy is his reward for using the bathroom. It is very important to set the timer and explain that when it goes off, the toy is back in the bathroom until next time he uses the toilet. Both of my kids were very good about putting it back in the bathroom or giving it back to me to put away.
For my friend's son, the "toy" was a power ranger costume. My son's toy was a buzz lightyear toy that made noises, and my daughter's was sparkly "ruby red slippers" she got to wear. Every child has different interests, so use what you think will work best.
Good luck to you!!!

I agree with you wait until he is 3 and then hit the potty training hard. I planned to wait until my son officially turned 3 back in January. To my surprise he wanted to start using the potty 2 whole weeks before his birthday. I went full force, bought the underwear the next day, got rid of the diapers....grandma bought him pull-ups which I've only used 2x and don't like at all! My son has been doing great, still having a little trouble going #2 on the potty which I think is normal. I still give him tons of praise for peeing on the potty! Good luck to you next month!
V.

Okay...first of all...DONT PANIC! My son has just started using the potty and he is 4!! He still won't poop in the potty and goes to his drawer and gets a pullup and does his "poop dance" around the house where he hides and runs about until his poop is done.

Anyway, here are some suggestions that worked for us to motivate our son to use the potty if you really feel like he is ready.
-Give "surprises" every time he uses the potty...not just when he sits on it, when he pees! They can be dollar store items, stickers, m&m's, whatever you have around, etc..

-Get rid of the pull ups or diapers and get him in the underware! Make a big deal about going underwear shopping and get a bunch! When you aren't going out anywhere, put him in them and let him go, he may have an accident or two, but he'll feel the sensation and will realize he has no diaper to catch the pee anymore.

-Read a lot of potty books to him. There are great ones out there. My son likes the Elmo one with buttons that make sounds like a flushing toilet that he can push as we read.

-Make a social story for him. Google "social story" for more info, but the basic gist of it is this. Take pictures, either clip art or actual pictures of your potty, your son sitting on the potty, the proud smiling parents, his specail surpise treat, etc. and paste them together in a book and write a little personalized story about him going to the potty. Seriously, google it, becasue that was a lame explanation of a social story.

-Also, remember that boys potty train later and slower than girls.

-And don't push it, with the help of these above suggestions, my son after a month was peeing consistently on the potty and we weened him off the surprises and now he knows the surprises will be waiting when he finally goes poo on the potty...

GOOD LUCK!

Unless potty training is his idea or he is truely ready he may hold it all day until you put his diaper on at night then he may go 7 soak through the diaper.
My oldest chose to use the potty when he was 3 y/o & only had a few accidents. When my youngest was about 2 1/2 y/o we saw that he could stay dry all night & even for 8 hours durring the day, so we chose to potty train him. When he did go he would soak through any diaper I had him in (even the night pants for older kids who wet the bed)!!! We went cold turkey with both of our boys (except we used pull-ups when he was in the car). He may not want to because he sees that his baby brother is in diapers & wants the same attention that the baby has.
Most kids I know decided to use the potty after having pee run down their legs a few times.
If a child can say 'no, just put my diaper on' & can hold it all night (or a long time durring the day) potty train! I do have a friend who's son was 4 y/o when he was potty trained, because he just wasn't ready until then.

God bless!

Good luck. Unfortunately this can be all over the lot. I had 3 kids. My duaghter was 3 1/2 when fully trained, my second 1 a son decided on his own to start going right after he turned 2. Then my 3rd, a boy, was around 4 and not trained at night until after age 5. Now we are dealing with my grandson who just turned 4. He started going like a big boy almost a year ago and still will have about 3 accidents a week and does not stay dry at night. Each child is uniquely different.

J.
If you put him in underwear, don't go back. No pull-ups at night either. I know this sounds like I'm in sane but you will be amazed how fast it works. We did this with our daughter and she was trained in two weeks. You have a big advantage being a stay at home mom. The only problem it really creates is a laundy issue!
Good luck.
C.

Tell your son that you talked to the doctor and he said that when kids turn 3 they have to go to the toilet. If you don't use the potty after you turn 3, you have to go to bed earlier and take longer naps.