My four year old son has been 'educationally diagnosed' with ASD, although he's classified as 'high functioning' and some think he is more towards the Asbergers side than the Autism, for about two and a half years now.
I've been a single parent the beginning of 2006 and with my own disabilities, it's really hard to do everything that a parent of an ASD child needs; however, he's come a LONG way from where we started out at.
I've talked with his teacher and social worker about potty training and we've all agreed that forcing the issue with him would make him balk and would make it even harder the next time we tried. Considering this, and his reaction to being forced to go near the toilet, I'm perfectly willing to wait longer to give him more time to adjust to his body and everything that's going on around him, including learning to be more communicative.
We're still using diapers (Goodnight underpants for boys found at Fred Meyer) but he's beginning to show definite signs of knowing when he's having a BM. He's anxious about it actually. However, there are no outward signs of when he urinates like there are when he's having a BM -- he pushes himself into corners or close into gaps in the furniture.
He loves water and he has no real problem with walking around with a completely soaked and BMed diaper or with wet pants or legs. (I did this as an experiment -- how would he react? would he react? would he understand that something needed to be done?) It's pure hit and miss for him to come up to me with a diaper in hand or for him to request to be changed -- no matter the praising or the reward.
My hope is that he will learn, and understand, that having a BM and going pee are a regular part of life and that when he is able to communicate with us about this (effectively), potty training will go forward.
Until that time... diapers are still going in the grocery cart.
Good luck!
J.